Chapter 38
CHAPTER
It took forever to get the exhausted fire crew back to the command centre.
At least, that’s how it seemed. Anna offered what help she could to those injured before they set out, all crammed into two vehicles.
The journey back was uncomfortable and slower than it could have been, but finally they pulled up at the Ridge.
An ambulance was waiting for them and the ambos immediately turned their attention to the injured firefighters.
There was food and drink waiting for all, and for those who had been missing, family waiting to hug them and welcome their safe return.
Ben leaped up the stairs into the command centre as soon as he got out of the car and Anna stood waiting for him to return, Carol by her side. After an eternity, Ben walked slowly down the steps, shaking his head.
‘No news. The helicopter took them to John Hunter Hospital and both were alive when they arrived. Someone from the RFS is on their way there. So is the family of the other firefighter. Anna, can we take your car? My RFS vehicle is needed here.’
‘Of course. This way.’ Her heart pounding, Anna led them to where her car was parked.
‘I could drive if you like,’ Ben offered.
‘No. Thanks. I’ve got it.’ She didn’t really.
Her hands were shaking slightly, but the thought of sitting there with her imagination painting no end of horrible images in her head was too much.
At least driving would give her something else to think about.
Ben slipped into the front passenger seat and Carol got in behind him.
It was more than a hundred kilometres to the hospital and every one of them was agony. Beside her, Ben spent his time glued to his phone, looking for updates.
‘The RFS won’t release any details about his condition to the news channels until they’ve contacted us, as his family,’ he muttered.
‘But surely they’d let you know how he is? Your boss or one of your friends?’ Carol said.
‘I’ve been texting. They say they don’t know.’
‘Ring the hospital!’ Carol almost shouted.
Ben glanced at Anna. She could see the uncertainty in his face.
He knew as well as she did that the hospital wouldn’t give out details over the phone.
Anna nodded slightly. Just trying might help Carol.
To her surprise, Ben signalled his agreement and returned to his phone.
He spent a few seconds trying to get through to the emergency department.
‘I’m Ben Turner of the RFS. My brother Justin was brought in by chopper a bit over an hour ago. I’m on my way there, but can you tell me how he is?’
Anna listened to him explaining and trying to get an answer that they both understood could not be given to a voice over the phone.
‘Is the RFS representative there?’ Ben asked.
Anna understood in an instant. The RFS knew who Ben was.
They might give him news. She strained to hear the reply and was about to tell him to put it on speaker, when a sudden realisation sent a cold shiver down her spine.
Ben wasn’t putting the call on speaker because he was afraid of what they might say.
If the news was bad, this wasn’t the right time to pass it on to Anna and Carol.
‘I see. Thank you.’
Anna held her breath as she waited for him to speak.
‘All the hospital would say is that two firefighters were brought in by helicopter. They won’t even confirm that one is Justin. I didn’t expect they would.’
‘What did the fire service rep say?’ Carol’s voice was quiet and shaky.
‘They weren’t there.’
‘Oh, God. I can’t bear this.’
A tense silence settled around them.
‘You know, at school, he was always better than me. At everything.’ Ben’s voice was soft as if he was lost in good memories. ‘The teachers preferred him. His schoolwork was better. He always had his homework done. He was captain of the cricket team. And the footy team. He got all the girls, too.’
Despite the fear gripping her, Anna gave a short laugh. ‘I can believe that.’
‘I once heard another kid call me “the lesser Turner brother”. That made me so mad. I went to pick a fight with him, but Justin came along and pointed out that he was bigger than me.’ Ben chuckled. ‘Always the smarter one, my big brother.’
‘Not always,’ Carol said from the back seat. ‘When you sat for scholarships exams, you scored much higher than him.’
‘Did I? You never told me that.’
‘There were a lot of things I never told you. And I’m sorry for that.’
Anna could sense a message beyond mere words in Carol’s voice. She wondered what it was, but perhaps Ben understood.
Ben turned in his seat. He reached into the back of the car to touch Carol’s arm.
‘We’ll be there soon, Mum. Just hang on and don’t lose hope now.’
***
Mum. Ben had called her ‘Mum’. For a few joyous moments, Carol almost forgot about Justin.
Forgot about their desperate race to the hospital.
Forgot about the fire and what it might have done.
All she could hear was Ben saying that word for the first time since he was a boy.
Her eyes filled with tears as Ben removed his hand from her arm and turned back to face the road.
Maybe there was hope for that reconciliation she so desired. Maybe her boys would welcome her back into their lives and they would be a family again.
But Justin …
What if he was badly hurt? What if he died?
The thought tore a great hole through her heart.
If she lost him, them, without being reconciled, she would not be able to bear it.
The only thing that had kept her going through all these long, lonely years was the belief that one day they would be reconciled.
They would be a family again. If that didn’t happen …
She turned her face to the window, so Anna wouldn’t see her tears in the rear-view mirror.
Outside, the trees lining the motorway had given way to frequent houses.
The traffic was heavier now and their progress slower.
Carol wanted to scream at those other drivers to get out of the way, they had to get to Justin quickly.
But in a dark, hidden part of her soul, she wanted this journey to never end, because until they got to the hospital, there was always hope.
When they turned off the freeway, they slowed even further as they drove through suburban streets before they reached the hospital.
Anna found a park and, as they leaped from the car, Anna’s phone alert beeped.
They stopped as she unlocked it and scrolled through the screen.
Watching her face, Carol felt her heart stop beating. Her legs started to buckle.
‘The news says one of the firefighters has … died.’ Anna’s voice broke.
‘Do they give his name?’ Ben sounded almost like the small, frightened boy Carol remembered.
‘No. Come on.’
The three of them dashed towards the hospital entrance and darted through the main doors.
The receptionist took one look at Ben’s sweat- and soot-stained uniform. ‘Intensive care. Level three. The lifts are over there.’
They followed her pointing finger. The lift descended at a snail’s pace and when the door opened, several people were inside. Carol stood back to let them out and was suddenly fearful of stepping inside.
‘Come on, Carol.’ Anna held out her hand.
Carol clutched it like a lifeline. She held her breath as they rose to the third floor.
The receptionist must have phoned ahead, because a nurse was already approaching when the doors opened. ‘Please come this way,’ she said before anyone could ask the questions that were tearing at their souls. She led the three of them to a small, empty, waiting room.
‘The doctor will be right with you.’ And she was gone.
Carol took a step as if to follow her, but Anna’s grip on her hand tightened. ‘They know we’re here. I’m sure they’ll tell us what’s happening as soon as they can.’
‘There should be an RFS liaison,’ Ben said. ‘If there is a fatality, there is always someone to be with the family.’
‘Perhaps that’s where they are,’ Anna said in a remarkably calm voice. ‘With the other family.’
Hope flared for an instant in Carol’s heart, only to be dashed when the door opened and a woman entered the room, her face showing no emotion. The uniform she wore was not a nurse’s uniform.
She held out her hand. ‘You must be Ben.’
‘I am. This is our mother, Carol, and Justin’s girlfriend, Anna. How is he?’
‘Please don’t say he—’
Before Carol could finish the unspeakable sentence, the woman held up a hand to stem the flow of her words.
‘He’s hurt, but he’s going to be all right.’
Carol only heard the last words. With a stifled cry, she started to sink to the floor, only for Ben to put his arms around her and guide her to a seat. He sat beside her, and his arms around her felt like the only thing keeping her afloat in a raging sea of fear.
‘How badly hurt is he?’ Anna asked quietly.
‘He has second degree burns. A couple of broken ribs and some lacerations. A tree fell on their unit and he was burned as he tried to get one of his team out of the vehicle.’
‘The man who died?’
The liaison nodded. ‘His family is here. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to them. I just wanted you to know Justin is all right. They’ll take you to see him as soon as possible. And if you need me for anything, I’m in the waiting room at the end of the hall.’ The woman left.
The room seemed unbearably quiet. Carol looked down at her hands.
Ben’s hands were entwined with hers, holding her as if she was the only thing keeping him sane.
As she looked up at his white, distraught face, she saw the boy she remembered.
The boy she had lied to for all those years.
The boy who had grown into a man and never forgiven her.
‘I am so, so sorry.’
Ben shook his head, looking confused. ‘None of this was your fault.’
‘I don’t mean this. I mean for lying to you for all those years. I didn’t really see it as a lie. I simply saw it as a way to survive.’