Chapter 21
Bailey
We’re staying at the Monroe cabin instead of my family’s place since there’s no public physical tie to their address for me, even though it’s right next door.
Having so much empty space around us has made Rhett crack down on safety measures, and he’s ordered a whole collection of exterior cameras to mount on the cabins’ entry points.
It’s peaceful here, which has done more for my mental reset than the bustling streets of New York ever could. But that also means that I hear every cracked twig and tiny animal in the wooded areas around the house.
It took two days for me not to yelp and throw myself on Rhett every time a pine cone fell off a tree and onto the deck with a thud, but I finally feel like I’m starting to unwind.
I even made it through a windstorm last night without my nervous system going into a tailspin, which felt like a win and could not be better timing, because Hollis has just broken the news that a few more photos were sent in an email today.
“But they’re old photos,” she tells me on the phone. I’m sitting outside on the dock. “They were taken the same day as the others he took outside the bookstore with that clear umbrella. They’re just further down the sidewalk. Which means he definitely hasn’t figured out where you guys are.”
Thwack!
“Thank you,” I say, feeling somewhat distracted. “What else did the email say?”
Thwack!
“Another line from a book: I missed her every second of every day. Like a hole burned straight through my heart. Dude is not shy about being creepy as fuck.”
Thwack!
“Are my books really this corny? Every line he pulls out makes me cringe.”
“That line is from your most recent release,” she tells me, as if I don’t already know. “You know, the book you swore you didn’t write about your mad crush on some random guy at the lake, right?” Her sarcasm is strong.
Thwack!
“Right,” I say, feeling distracted. “Mad crush, yes.”
Thwack!
“Bailey?”
Thwack!
Okay, I’m actually fully distracted.
Thwack!
“Bailey?”
“Mmm?”
Thwack!
I’m having trouble concentrating.
Thwack!
The problem? Rhett is swinging an axe. We had a branch fall in a windstorm last night, and he’s now chopping it up to throw the pieces on the woodpile for firewood. After each chop, he throws a fresh log onto the growing pile by the side of the house.
I’m dangling my feet off the dock while on the phone with Hollis, contemplating whether it’s warm enough for me to go for a swim.
I think it is, but honestly, if it’s not, I’m not sure I’d notice.
Rhett has already removed his shirt, and while I can’t see his scars from this far away, I can certainly see the thick eight-pack of abs and both of his arms covered in tattoos.
“Bailey? Did you hear me?”
While I’m aware that I am most likely fully dissociating from what’s taking place back in the city, I must have missed something.
“Yes,” I answer. I’m glad the photos were taken the same day as the others, so this news is not a monumental shock, and honestly, it’s satisfying knowing that he doesn’t have any clue where we are.
This feels like possibly good news, and like we made the right move to come up here.
“Yes,” I repeat. “I heard you. More photos taken the same day as the others.”
“Okayyy,” she draws it out, probably waiting for more of a reaction from me.
Thwack!
“And the line from your book. Any thoughts? I just figured you might sound more upset.”
Thwack!
“Bailey, are you okay?”
Thwack!
“Mmm hmm.”
“Okay, and seriously, what is that sound?” she finally asks.
“That is your brother. Chopping firewood,” I tell her, lowering my voice until it sounds velvety and smooth.
“Ohhh, I see.” She pauses. “I now know why you’re not reacting more to the news I’ve just told you.”
“I figured more photos or emails might be coming. But it sounds kind of like good news since he hasn’t found us.”
Rhett picks up a piece of wood as thick as my waist and sets it down on top of another, then raises the ax above his head. His abs contract.
Thwack!
I tilt my head and tuck my lips between my teeth, not sure anything could bother me right now.
“You sound very relaxed for a guy sending photos of you after destroying your apartment.”
“I think watching Rhett chop firewood is similar to attending therapy,” I say. “Oddly comforting, knowing he’s here to keep an eye out for me through all this, while providing something else for my brain to snack on.”
I tilt my head to the other side.
Hollis is silent on the line.
Still silent on the line.
“What?” I ask. “Did I lose you?”
“Step away from the lumberjack, Bailey,” she deadpans. “My brother chopping wood is not some form of woodland therapy.”
“Why not?” I ask, watching him grab another thigh-sized log to set upright on the stump he’s using as a chopping block. “And why did we ever stop coming here? Do you know how stressed I’ve been lately?”
“You mean stressed until the wood began to get chopped?”
“You need to come when you get back to the States, Holl. It’s like you don’t even realize how stressed you are until you feel it all melting away and calmer feelings are allowed to come in back again. We’re going forest bathing later. Doesn’t that sound divine?”
“Forest bathing?” she repeats. “Bailey, when was the last time you verbalized a word like divine? And forest bathing? That doesn’t involve you getting undressed in the woods or something, does it? It’s not, like, actual bathing, is it?””
I bite my lip as Rhett splits another log in half, this one the size of my thigh, with just one swing. One long, hard swing.
“Would that be so bad?” I mutter under my breath.
I didn’t even realize I’d said it out loud until Hollis starts scolding me through the sound of wood splitting from Rhett’s ax.
“Bailey, no. No. I know it’s been a minute since you dated anyone, but my brother is not going to be your ax-wielding distraction while you’re up there. Do you hear me?”
“Too late,” I say, egging her on. “He’s chopping everything up. Right in front of me. Are lumberjacks a thing? Why aren’t they still a thing? I think my next book needs to have one.”
“Want me to give Axel a call?” she warns.
“I think lumberjacks are definitely my new thing,” I answer.
“Oh my God. I’m calling Axel so he can get Rhett to stop chopping shit up in front of you.”
“Have at it,” I tell her, lightly. “You two already hooked up as teenagers. Maybe it’s my turn to play the I-didn’t-kiss-your-brother game?”
She gasps. “You wouldn’t.”
“You wouldn’t either, right?” I snort.
Her sigh comes through loud and clear.
“You’ve never denied it,” I remind her. “You are a passionate woman with opinions about all things, and yet you steer clear of this particular question, which in itself tells me everything.”
“We were kids,” she declares, and I gasp.
“Define kids!” I say, needing to know the exact age of when this happened.
“Details aren’t important. Besides, I don’t think I should be confessing this to you for the first time while you’re watching my brother wield an ax, Bay.
Probably shirtless, if I know him. And probably sweaty.
” I nod silently through each of her descriptions, acknowledging every detail with my eyes. “Am I right?”
“Did you know we stayed in a motel with a mirror bolted to the ceiling?” I break our pact of never confessing that to our respective siblings. Then I hold the phone back from my ear while she shrieks, chuckling to myself.
“Don’t tell me that!” she moans.
Rhett pauses to grab his shirt from a nearby log, using it to wipe sweat from his brow, then off the back of his neck.
His probably very salty neck. His whole body is likely dripping with it, too.
Oh my God. The sun is coming out in full force now, and I silently root for it to get extremely hot out here in the next twenty minutes.
“He might need a dip in the lake afterward — seeing as he’s so unbelievably sweaty . . .” I add. I wouldn’t mind a cold dip in the lake soon, considering my body is responding to this show here like a rabid animal.
“Stooop. Is this payback for what I just told you?” she groans.
“How old were we when it happened? I can’t believe you haven’t confessed this until now.”
“Remember that summer they were training for basic?” she asks.
I sit up straighter and shake my feet out of the water.
“You did not!”
“Could I pick a worse time to be telling you this?” Her voice is higher than usual.
“All this time I suspected but . . . are you kidding me?” I grin, pleased to know that I finally have the truth.
Maybe it’s the fact that a lot of time has passed without it making a difference to our friendship, or maybe it’s that this is giving me somewhat of a hall pass for her brother.
Okay, I completely made up that second part, but either way, I’m shocking myself by how little I actually care.
We’re all adults, right? Right? “Tell me everything. No, wait, don’t.
” I consider whether I want to know the nitty-gritty or not. “Well, yes, do. I deserve to know.”
“You don’t want to know everything,” she says, bleakly. “Trust.”
I scrunch my nose, picturing Axel and Hollis doing God knows what in these woods for one split second before I change my mind.
“Okay, you’re right. But I need to know, did my brother screw you over?” Did he pull away from Hollis directly after hooking up with her? “I will beat him up, I swear to God. I will fly west, and I will punch him in the mouth if he did. It might have happened a long time ago, but I’ll—”
“We were so young.” Her voice cuts through the line, thick with nostalgia, and I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not. “It was a no-fault system that summer.”
“Christ. I knew it.”
“Listen, I’m definitely not telling you this so you can go hook up with my brother,” she clarifies.
“Terrible timing, seeing as he’s shirtless and dripping sweat and right in front of me. With an ax, Hollis. An ax.”
“Stop with the details.”
I grin.
“Then why are you finally telling me this now?”
“I shouldn’t be. Maybe I just feel bad for what you’re going through and figure you need a solid distraction. Although why I’ve chosen this distraction at this particular moment is beyond me.”
Frowning, I realize there’s a reason Rhett and I had so much alone time together that summer. They were off having a mini relationship, completely separate from us.
“Tell me it was only kissing,” I say.
She sighs loud enough to hear. “God, I shouldn’t have said a word about it. I think you being there has just reawakened old nostalgia for the place, or something. I should go there when I get out of London.”
I nod to no one, looking around at all the places we used to spend time together. The dock, the sand swallowing up mid-afternoon waves, the patio overlooking the whole thing, with that old yellow umbrella dancing in the breeze. Hundreds, if not thousands, of memories were made here.
“You should see it, Holl,” I tell her. “It’s like stepping into a time capsule. The pink wallpaper is still peeling in the same spot by the kitchen. And your parents’ couches are still—”
“Red and white checkered? Like a picnic blanket?” she asks, dreamily, probably picturing it in her head like me.
“Just like a picnic blanket,” I confirm. “The beds in our rooms hadn’t even been touched.”
“And being back there? With my brother?” she trails off, probably already guessing how it’s making me feel.
“It’s funny,” I say, admitting what I’ve already been thinking out loud. “I thought it would feel the exact same, but it’s different. We’re different. Do you remember when he nearly beat Jack Turner up after he tried kissing me that one summer? By the bridge?”
“Oh, that guy had it coming,” she says. “He had just made out with Ashley Thompson that afternoon and everyone knew it. Bleach-headed frog.” She’s silent for a minute.
“You know we aren’t kids anymore,” she says quietly.
Then, “Just promise you’ll never let anything get in the way of our friendship. No matter what.”
“I promise,” I tell her, watching Rhett grab another log off the pile and split it right down the center again. I could watch that all day. “God help me,” I add quietly.
Hopefully too quiet for her to hear.