18. Chapter Eighteen
18
Chapter Eighteen
Clara
I stop in the doorway of Mac’s room and watch silently. Mac’s showing Rhett some kind of remote powered car he made just for him. I smile as I watch them talk back and forth about how cool it is and taking it on a test ride. Concluding that Rhett is as safe as always I make my way to the gym. As I’m getting everything ready to run off the stress of the past couple of weeks I shoot off a text to Mac letting him know where to find me if he needs me.
I never let anyone help me, it goes against the very fabric of my being. I wasn’t trained by Preston to need help, and I was trained by Preston for a long time. However, right now, just this once, I’ll let them help me. I need a moment to process alone. To blast my music and cry while running as fast as my legs will carry me. Popping my air pods in and starting the treadmill my thoughts wander. The faster I go, the faster they fly through my head.
Everything from meeting Rowan, to being terrified that he’d died when he was shot. He’s okay and I know that, but the sheer terror that grasped my heart and twisted it all up was still there. Being terrified if he was going to come home on his own two feet or in a body bag. That’s the harsh reality of this life. I’ve endured so much emotional trauma over the past few weeks that I completely lose track of time as my legs continue to run and my brain continues to process it all.
Once my legs are struggling to keep going and my brain is finally quiet, I gradually slow down, then shut off the treadmill. Gasping for breath, tears running down my face, my legs buckle and I fall to the floor. Allowing myself five minutes to purge it all from my body. Five minutes, then I boss up and handle my business.
* * *
I’ve just got Rhett down for a nap when I’m greeted with what sounds like a crowd of animals all roaring at once. In reality, it’s all the boys arguing. I’ve gotten used to this as the weeks have gone on. We’ve settled in pretty well at this point. Still I’m not jumping for joy at the sound. Making my way into the living room my eyes catch on Rowan who’s the only one sitting as all the other brothers are up yelling at each other. But is my boyfriend involved? No, of course he isn’t. He’s sitting in one of the recliners smiling like a kid on Christmas morning with nothing short of amusement and glee shining in his eyes.
One thing I’ve learned since being here is that these boys argue a lot. Always over the dumbest things, and usually antagonized by Rowan or Declan. Roe must see me because he holds his hand out to me. Not even acting like I was about to play hard to get, I move straight to him. As soon as I’m close enough he gently pulls me into his lap and kisses my shoulder.
“This is getting good, shall we take bets?”
“Bets on what, exactly? I’m going to say it’s safe to assume you’re the ringleader of this one since you’re just observing.” He gives me a look of fabricated shock and presses his hand to his chest.
“Me? Clara, how dare you? I did nothing….. Except ask them who they think Rhett’s favorite is. Then, I may have insisted he told me who the real favorite is.”
Smacking his shoulder lightly as I give him a mock glare, “You’re evil.”
He laughs freely, his face relaxed, and his smile completely at ease. “Hey, I just made a comment.” Turning our attention back to the men who are bickering like small children, I have to admit, it is funny.
Hearing Declan over the rest as he gets even louder, “You guys couldn’t be more wrong if you tried. Who watches his favorite movie with them at least three times a day? Not you guys. I’m his favorite, just get over it.”
Flynn doesn’t even try to hide his distaste, “You’re joking right? We all can recite every part of that movie. But who swims with him daily? AND plays outside with him until he’s ready to pass out in the evenings? Sully and I are definitely tied for first. He loves us, don’t be a hater because you idiots are too old to keep up with him.”
Sully pipes up with his agreement just as Mac catches them both in the back of the head, “Multiple problems with your theories. One, I’m only three and a half years older than you two so I’m not ‘old’. Two, Rhett follows me around everywhere. We build things and he loves building those kids solar cars with me. Yesterday he hung out with me in my computer room for over six hours. How could you even think that any of you hold a candle to that?”
Kieran lets out a dark chuckle and my eyes whip over to him. Rowan may be right, this is quality entertainment. My heart also may be ready to explode by seeing how much they love and adore my baby.
Kieran waits until everyone stops talking before he speaks up, “Bear only does all of that with you guys when I’m not around. Let’s not forget that he will come to my room and get me as soon as he wakes up, we have breakfast together, we hang out, we play, hell, he even attempts to work out with me. If I’m calling it like it is, he probably likes me more than he likes Roe.”
Rowan stiffens under me, “Watch it, Kie.” His voice is dark and menacing, it’s not a tone I’ve ever heard from him. Turning my attention to him he relaxes back into the chair, “I’m Daddy. You aren’t even playing the same sport as me. Nevertheless in the same league. Also, it isn’t you, asshole.”
The boys go back to arguing as I whisper to Rowan, “You dirty rotten lying liar. We both know Rhett said Kieran was his favorite, but he loved them all the same just last night.”
He lets out a loud laugh, “Lying liar? Really? We need to work on your insults if you’re going to survive in a house with six men and a little boy.”
Unable to stop myself, my eyes roll, “My insults are just fine. Thank you for your concern.” I try to hide my smile from him so he thinks I’m serious, but I fail. He pulls me tighter in his arms and we watch his brothers continue to bicker. He may be a drama king for starting this, but watching him so carefree makes me happy regardless.
* * *
.
I’ve got to get out of here. Scanning the room I’m currently in for a window or somewhere to hide my heart is beating out of my chest. The door is locked but that won’t hold him off for long. Shit, this was so stupid of me. I should have just stayed home, but no, I was driving myself crazy and needed to get out. Thankfully Rhett is doing “man stuff” with Rowan today, I don’t know what that entails and honestly I don’t really care. The important part is that he isn’t here.
I was looking for a new dress for mine and Rowan’s upcoming date night when he caught my attention. Preston stood just out of sight from Killian. Locking eyes with him he gave me the most sinister look I’ve ever seen. He smirked at me while bringing his index finger up to his neck, making a slicing motion. Fear paralyzed my body until Killian snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Ms. Sanders? Are you okay?” I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t. I just turned and ran into the closest dressing room with a lock. I don’t understand why he’s following us, he doesn’t even like us. He never has, so why won’t he just let us go? Why did I leave my phone in the car? I need to call Rowan.
I’m huddled in the corner of the small room for what seems like forever when there’s a knock at the door, I don’t dare say a word. A voice finally breaks through.
“Ms. Sanders, are you in there?” It’s Killian, it’s not Preston.
Creeping to the door I call out, “Are you alone?”
His response is immediate, “Yes ma’am.” Knowing he’s not a danger I peek the door open to see his tall intimidating frame standing in front of me. His arms are crossed over his chest, eyes narrowed, and a stoic expression, “What was that?”
Surveying the area one more time before answering my eyes catch on two white roses right outside of the door. “Preston was here. He was following me.”
Killian scans the area, “Ma’am I didn’t see anyone.”
No, I know what I saw, WHO I saw. There’s no way I made that up, and the white roses, he’s fucking with me. “I’m telling you Killian, he was here. Why else would I have ran across the store and hid in here? Then there’s the white roses. It’s him.”
He softens his voice, “Okay, okay, I believe you. You lock the door, and let me sweep the area. Do not unlock or open this door unless I knock and say turtle. Okay? Wait for the code word.”
“Um, okay. Can I call Rowan?” He’s shaking his head before I’m even done with my sentence.
“Let’s get you out of here first. We’ll go to the next store and you can call Boss. I’ll get Mac on the footage. I know they’re trying to lighten the Bosses’ load right now. So it’s probably best we give Mac a heads up before you call Boss.”
I nod in agreement. “Yeah, okay. Wait for the safe word.”
Killian’s brow lifts, “No ma’am, the code word. Whatever you do, do NOT tell the Boss I gave you a safe word.”
I’ve been in the closet sized room for a few minutes when I hear the knock and “turtle”. He’s standing all stoic and no nonsense when I open the door. “We’re all clear, but we need to move. I think it’s best that we head home.” My adrenaline begins to crash, a headache starts right behind my eyes as I follow him out to the car without protest. I think the stress of the past few weeks is catching up with me. I allow him to lead me to the car as the nausea takes over. Please let me just make it home before I throw up.
Running through the house to the half bath off the living room I thank God that the guys are outside. Barely making it to the toilet in time, I empty the contents of my stomach. I decide to stay there because I know I’m not done. My head rolls to the side and rests on the wall. I can’t help but think what I did so wrong to be cursed with stress induced migraines. A rush of nausea hits me again, and yet again my head is in the toilet. It seems like hours pass, but it’s probably only ten minutes, before I hear Flynn and Sully walking by laughing and talking amongst themselves. I must make a noise because I hear them get quiet then slowly push open the half bath.
“Oh shit. Go get Roe.” Footsteps echo down the hall. If I could open my eyes right now I’d confirm that it was Flynn who stayed, but it hurts too bad so I just lay here quietly. Whispering Flynn puts his hand on my forehead, “Clara, what’s wrong? You’re sweaty, and as white as the paint on the walls.” Taking deep breaths I’m barely able to choke out the word migraine before I’m getting sick again.
I hear running footsteps and a yelled, “Clara!” before I hear his feet slide across the tile then his warm body pressing into my back.
Flynn continues to whisper as he chastises his oldest brother, “Shut up, idiot. She has a migraine.” I feel him tense behind me. He gently pulls me from resting against the wall and into his arms. I groan because every movement makes my head feel like it’s going to explode. As soon as I’m cradled against his chest his hand tenderly runs through my hair.
“Baby, I’ve got to move you to our bed.” I’m too worn out to argue, if I puke on him I guess I puke on him. With as much ease and finesse as he can manage I feel myself being lifted. My eyes are shut tightly but I know the house well enough to know we’re headed up the stairs and to our bed. When he lays me down he kisses my head and whispers, “I’ll be right back baby, rest.”
As soon as Rowan leaves I feel myself starting to finally drift off. I’m almost asleep when I hear the door open and shut then footsteps approaching. A warm compress is gently placed over my eyes, I hear shoes being removed and a zipper being pulled down. It only takes a few seconds before I feel Rowan pull my back tight to his front, and he’s playing with my hair, “Sleep Pretty Girl. I’ve got everything handled.”
* * *
Waking up, I open my eyes slowly. Noticing immediately it’s dark outside and I’m cold. Wait, why am I cold? I reach behind me and find nothing. The bed is empty, where is he? Deciding to go find him I slowly stand up. The dizziness hits as soon as I’m right side up. Shit, I hate a migraine hangover almost as much as the actual migraine. Taking a minute to get my bearings and take a few deep breaths, I decide to go check on Rhett then go to the bathroom and try to sleep the rest of this off. I make it to Rhett’s door by nothing short of a miracle .
Deciding to just peek inside because he should be way past asleep, I’m stopped in my tracks when I hear Kieran, “Hey, how are you feeling?” He’s talking quietly. I’m unsure if it’s because it’s late or because he’s being considerate. Knowing him it’s probably both.
“Dizzy, but I needed to check on Rhett.” I give him a kind smile.
He shakes his head smiling at me, “You won’t find him there. Look.” He makes his way to me holding his phone out to show me something on it. Looking as he tilts the phone to me my heart constricts in my chest. Rhett and Rowan are asleep in the movie room together. Laying beside each other both with their mouths slightly parted, their left arms behind their heads and their feet crossed at the ankle. I fall more in love with him every day, and seeing him like this, when no ones around, just solidifies that I’d marry this man right now if he asked.
Kieran breaks the silence, “You know, if you’d have told me Rowan was going to be a dad a few months ago I would have laughed at you. I was convinced that after dealing with the five of us after our parents died that he would never want or have kids. But I swear I think he fell in love with Rhett just as quickly as he fell in love with you. He’s tough, ninety nine percent of people who know him are terrified of him. We have a reputation of being ruthless. With you though, I’ve never seen him like this. He reminds me exactly of how our Da used to be with our Ma and us.”
My eyes well up, “Your Da, from what I’ve heard he seems like a really good man.”
He smiles fondly, “He was. Anyone who worked with him would describe him as stoic, and heartless but fair. We never saw any of that at home though. He was kind, loving, and modeled what an amazing husband and Da looks like. I’m biased because he was my Da, but he never missed an event for us. He showed up for us and my Ma every single day.” Kieran wipes his eyes quickly then pulls that mask back in place, “Anyway, I’m headed to bed. Rhett’s safe and sound. Go rest, Clara. They’re worried about you.” He pulls me into a side hug and when I hug him back he flinches and his face is mirroring pain.
“Are you okay?” His eyes widen before he waves me off.
“I’m fine, just been working out harder than normal. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” Turning to go back into our room I’m smiling to myself. He really is an amazing man and father figure. Sending a silent thank you to his dad, I decide to go to the bathroom then back to bed to sleep away the lingering effects of this migraine.
The next morning, I’m half asleep I feel little hands wrapped around my neck and big hands wrapped around my waist from behind. Rhett’s head is half nuzzled into the front of my neck, Rowans into the side of my neck. They’re both snoring softly, and I’m feeling so content with my boys snuggling me. I’m shifting slightly to wrap my arm around Rhett when Rowan pulls me impossibly closer, he lets out a sleepy sigh.
“Hey Pretty Girl, how are you feeling?” My heart flutters every time he calls me that. Especially when it’s accompanied with that sexy gravelly voice.
“I won’t know for sure until I get up, but it seems okay right now.”
Nuzzling his head into my neck he makes a sound of acknowledgment. “Good, I was so worried last night.”
Furrowing my brow I attempt to move so he can see my face without waking Rhett up, “You were? It was just a migraine.”
Shaking his head he shifts so I can see his eyes, “Maybe, but to me you were in pain, sick, and I couldn’t do anything to help or make it stop. That made me worry more than anything. All I could do was rub your head, take care of Rhett, and wait for it to pass.”
Oh, I love this man. This sweet, kind, tender man. Knowing he’s a ruthless crime leader makes him such a conundrum, because that’s not the man that heals the hurt he didn’t create. He loves us without abandon, but once he’s away from Rhett and I, he’s commanding, intimidating, and merciless.
If I wasn’t sure that he’d take his own life before hurting us, he’d scare me to no end. “I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s not easy for you to feel powerless. Especially when you’re usually in control of everything.”
He leans in and presses his lips so tenderly to my temple whispering, “It wasn’t easy watching you struggle, it broke my heart. But being there for you guys? Stepping in fully when you needed to rest? Well baby, that’s as easy as loving you two, which just to be clear, is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
Smiling, I reach the arm that was around Rhett’s waist and cup the back of Rowan’s head pushing his lips into my temple a little more firmly.
“I love you so much, thank you for loving us like you do. I saw you last night, you know.”
He pulls his lips from the side of my head where he’s been pressing little kisses. “Oh yeah? You were creepin’ on us?”
Letting out a quiet laugh and playfully rolling my eyes, I smart back, “It’s not creepin’ when you’re both mine.” That grin that makes me feel tingly from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, forms on his addictive lips .
His eyebrows lift, and I can see the playfulness dancing in his eyes. “Yours, huh? I like you laying claim on me.”
“Yeah?” I smirk and look him up and down, drinking in every ounce of his strong, carved to perfection body.
His eyes flare with heat as he grips my hip, “You can’t look at me like that, not while Rhett’s in this bed with us.”
Acting innocent, even though I know exactly what I’m doing I ask, “Like what? I’m not looking at you like anything.” Rowan’s lips press against the back of my ear then up and down the shell.
He growls out, “Like you want me to tie you up to this bed and keep you on the edge of climax until you’re begging me to let you come.” My whole body shivers as his fingers lightly skim up and down the side of my body.
“Maybe, because I do.”
He smirks and starts kissing my neck when Rhett stretches his arms up. Rowan freezes and this time I pretend to be asleep. I can feel them signing to each other but have no idea what’s being said.
I feel little lips kiss my cheek and Rowan’s kiss my forehead and murmur, “Stay and rest baby. I’ll be back up in a little while.” I decide to take advantage of the fact that I’m not the only one taking care of Rhett anymore, as well as knowing he’s as safe with Rowan as he would be with his own secret service detail, and drift back off to sleep.