Chapter 19
19
JOSH
W alking back to the house with Kelli’s small hand wrapped in mine makes me feel like I am on cloud nine. Since the day we met, she has shown over and over that she is too good for me. Too good for this world. I have never wanted someone so much, no matter how undeserving I am. This incredible woman took a morning where she was overwhelmed, scared, and was told her life is in more danger than she originally thought, and instead of wallowing in that, she questioned me about my life. It might have been a distraction technique, but she was genuinely interested at the same time. She listened quietly, asking questions here and there, all with a kind smile and understanding in her eyes.
I have never opened up to someone the way I did to her. Sitting out on the beach with her, my mind wasn’t racing with thoughts of how I wasn’t good enough, how she wouldn’t be here forever, or any other negative thoughts and insecurities that usually plague me. She brings me a peace like never before, and I don’t know how I will ever let her go. When she asked me to stay with her tonight, my chest tightened in a way it never has. She’s choosing me. It took focusing on my breathing to get the knot in my chest to loosen so I could answer her with the ‘YES’ that was screaming in my head. I never stayed any of the other nights I woke her up because I figured she didn’t want me there.
Brian’s eyes zero in on our connected hands as we walk back into the kitchen where he and Logan are sitting around the island. Kelli makes no effort to let go, so neither do I as she leads us over to the island to join them. She takes the chair between them, and I take the one on the other side of Logan so we can have this conversation. Logan leans over, giving her knee a squeeze and whispers something. Kelli just nods at him with a soft smile. There should be a pang of jealousy, but I don’t feel it at all. All I feel is happy that she is so comfortable here with us and that she is taken care of beyond what I can give.
“We talked to Alex for a while, and unfortunately, your pillow was gone from the house when he and his officers got there. They still wiped down everything they could for prints since there is a good chance he took his gloves off to jack off, so he may have touched something. Your back door was picked by him to get in, but everything else seemed in place.” Logan clears his throat before continuing. “It seems he may have taken all the contents of your underwear drawer, though, not just the ones in the photo he sent.”
Kelli winces and makes a face of disgust before taking a deep breath and sitting taller. “I guess that’s as good an excuse as any to go shopping.” Logan’s hand makes its way back to her thigh as he rubs his thumb over it. We know she is trying to deflect with humor, but she has to feel extremely violated. “Can I call Danny this week and have him find a realtor for me? That place will never feel safe to me again.”
Anger flashes over Brian’s face, and I know that look is reflected on mine, as well. He told me how hard she worked to save up to buy that home. Last time Danny and Alex visited us, they raved about all the work she had put into it and how proud she was. The fact that this man was now taking that away from her made me feel murderous. I made eye contact with Brian as we had a silent conversation, swearing we would make this guy pay for everything he has put her through.
“Yeah, baby girl, we can call him together this week and get started on that for you. Whatever you need, we are here for you. We also don’t think he knows that you are here. The likely reason he knows you are in Maine is that he could have been hacking cameras to find how you left the hospital and where you went from there. He must have been able to follow my car to Maine, but there is no way he followed it all the way out here. He lost track of you somewhere along the way. I have a coworker tracking your movements from the night you left to see if we can find where your stalker might be looking.” Logan looks to me so that I can take over from here.
“I will be adding more cameras around the property line and around our house, as well, for added measure. We are going to continue training in the mornings, but Logan will be joining us to show you how to disarm an attacker with a knife and a gun. Brian will be teaching you to shoot this week, as well. We have guns in a safe downstairs and have decided we will be stashing some smaller ones throughout the house. Of course, we will let you know where they are at.” Kelli’s eyes start to fill with fear, her knuckles turning white in her lap. “Don’t worry. These are all just safety precautions. We don’t think they’re really necessary, but it’s in our nature to be overprepared.”
Brian leans into her, stroking a hand down her face, his thumb skating over her cheek. “We will keep you protected at all costs. We just want you to feel confident in your ability to defend yourself, too. There is no way that we will let anything happen to you.”
“Aside from all that, we will also be consulting with Alex and the officers who originally opened your case to talk about how we can try to get this guy to make a mistake or lead him into a trap.” This is the first I am hearing about this myself, so they must have been planning this while I was outside with Kelli. “We’ve got you, baby girl. We will keep you informed of everything, but we don’t want you to worry. Now, I was thinking of steak and twice baked potatoes for dinner. Would you want to help me?”
“Mmm, yes, that sounds incredible. Thank you for everything you have done. I know this has not been easy for you all, but I really appreciate it.” She hugs Brian and Logan before coming over and giving me a kiss on the cheek. I watch her walk to the pantry while avoiding the stare that I can feel from Logan and Brian.
“Well, that’s new,” Logan mutters with a smile in his voice before following Kelli to help get dinner started.
Brian slowly gets up, nodding toward the back porch, so I follow him out. “Want to help me chop some wood?” I look over to the covered side of the shed that is filled with more than enough wood to last us the winter months.
“Sure.” I move to grab some of the logs that need to be cut while he goes to get our axes. The sun is just starting to move behind the trees, a nice breeze making its way off the water. Perfect weather to keep us from overheating while we work in silence until Brian can work out enough of his frustration and get his thoughts in order. There is something he wants to say to me, definitely in relation to Kelli, but he just needs to figure out how to say it.
Two piles of chopped wood later, he finally puts his ax down, sitting on his stump. “We finally talked last night,” he starts.
“About time. Did you tell her everything?”
“No. She still doesn’t know fully what happened on that deployment. I told her I can’t be with her. I’m not the man she needs.” His head hangs low between his shoulders, not looking up.
What the hell? That isn’t what I expected at all. “You still love her, why the hell would you tell her that?”
“I broke her, Josh. Those were her words, ‘you broke me,’ and I won’t do that to her again. I can’t. I see the way she looks at you and Logan. She would be happy with one of you, hell, maybe even both of you.”
“She looks at you the same way. That is not a broken woman, B. That is a damn strong woman who put herself back together and is better for it. Kelli can have anything she wants and I won’t lie, I hope one of the things she wants is me. But one of the things she wants is you, too, and I think she wants that more than anything else. Taking yourself out of the equation for her is only going to hurt her more.”
I know Logan has told her that she can have all of us if that’s what she wants and I am certainly not opposed to it. These guys are my brothers, and it makes sense that we would all fall for the same woman. There’s no jealousy there, at least not from Logan and me.
“She deserves the best. You guys better be that for her, but I just can’t be,” he sighs. I sit down next to him and squeeze his shoulder as I watch the first tear I have seen from him in years fall. “She needs her best friend back, so that is what I will be. She’s going through so much. She just needs that boy back that sat with her under the willow tree when life got hard. I love her enough to table my feelings and be what she needs in this moment.”
Fuck, he was breaking my heart. “Why can’t you be both? Friendship shouldn’t stop when you are with someone; it should only get deeper.”
“What happens if it doesn’t work out? Who does she have then? I abandoned her last time, and I can’t do that again. Her friend is who she needs and who can stay in her life for good. That’s who I have to be.” He wipes his eyes, stands up, and starts walking back toward the house, only to turn around and look me in the eye. “Something changed between you two today. You brought out the man you keep hidden, and that’s the man she deserves. Be that man for her, Josh.”
How the hell did Brian know that? The four of us had a twenty minute conversation that had nothing to do with us and he could tell that things are different between Kelli and I. He isn’t wrong. I poured my heart and soul out to her down by the beach, and she accepted every piece of me. My body craved to be around her, my mind constantly drifting to thoughts of her. She is the sun, and the three of us are happily stuck in her orbit.
Being in her bed tonight is going to be the ultimate test. I want her. Getting the tiny taste last night only made me want her more. The way her body melted into mine, the drag of her hips over Logan’s cock, her sweet whimpers as she got close. Her pussy was so tight, squeezing my fingers in a vice grip. I stand up, having to adjust myself before I can pile up the wood we chopped and put our axes away.
Dinner is delicious, if not a little tense. Brian is quiet, only really joining in the conversation to talk with Kelli. I know he isn’t mad at Logan or I, but I’m sure it will take time for his heart to follow his head and get on board with the thought that the love of his life might get with his best friends. He wouldn’t let this break up our bond, but I could see it putting a strain on it. Logan makes eye contact with me, the question of ‘what’s wrong’ clear in his eyes. I shake my head. That’s a conversation we would have later.
After dinner, Brian excuses himself to go straight to bed. He needs sleep and I hope it will actually happen for him. He’s worn down and exhausted, and we all need to be at our best in the coming weeks as we deal with the stalker situation on top of everything else going on. Kelli is too wound up from the day to go to bed, so she suggests a movie night. Logan races her to the basement, the winner getting to choose the movie. I stay to clean up the kitchen since they cooked.
Their whispered voices and quiet laughs reach me before I make it all the way downstairs. Logan hasn’t been this happy in a long time. He has been lonely for a while, trying to hide it from B and me. We are all different, what with Brian unwilling to move on from Kelli and being okay with that and me never seeing myself as relationship material. Having Kelli around is different, though. Her light shines so bright, it is starting to shine through us and I love seeing my best friends happy.
There’s a romcom playing on the screen, but neither are paying much attention to it. They are sitting in the middle of the couch together, playing rock, paper, scissors. I can’t hide the unbidden smile on my face, Logan has always loved playing games.
“What do you get if you win, baby?” I ask as I walk around the couch taking a seat at her other side.
“Logan has to rub my feet, but if I lose, he gets to be the little spoon for the whole movie. It’s high stakes, so don’t distract me.”
I lean in close to her, moving her hair to one side. Little bumps erupt along her flesh as I whisper into her ear, “he didn’t say who has to be the big spoon. I could take that position for you, but it will cost you.” She draws in a deep breath, then straightens her spine.
“I’m ready! Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!” She makes a scissor with her hands while Logan makes paper. “YES!” she squeals, her little shout of glee accompanied by a shimmy dance on the couch, her hands raised above her head. Damn, she is cute. Her body leans up against mine as she kicks her feet out, settling them in Logan’s lap.
I can’t help but wrap my arm around her and settle her into me while Logan peels off her socks, pushes up her leggings, and starts to rub her feet. Her little sigh of pleasure goes straight to my dick. While my face is no doubt filled with lust, I look over at Logan, his face filled with the softest look of adoration aimed at Kelli. We are so screwed, and I have no idea what it is she wants yet. Does she want me? Logan? Both of us? Hell, maybe neither of us and she’s just making the most of her time here. That should set me at ease since I’m not meant to be a forever guy, but the thought of it sits like a heavy rock in the pit of my stomach. I want her to want us. To want to be here and really be something with us, despite the circumstances.
The movie is nearing the end, and I don’t think any of us have watched a minute of it. My gaze never strayed from Kelli, who has slowly adjusted her position throughout the movie. She’s now laying with her head in my lap while I run my fingers through her hair. Logan never stopped rubbing her, but as time went on his hands wandered. I was enamored as his hands slowly slid up her calves, over her knees, and rubbed small slow circles into her thighs. He knew exactly what he was doing. While Kelli’s eyes never strayed from the movie, it was clear she wasn’t paying attention. Her hands would squeeze into my leg every time his hands would move, her breath hitching every time he used his nails to add a little extra pressure. The erotic slow dance playing out over the last hour was coming to an end as the credits rolled.
Kelli slowly sat up, stretching her hands over her head, revealing a tantalizing bit of skin below her tank top. Logan and I made no effort to move, a quick glance to the side proving he is in the same predicament as me. How I am supposed to share a bed with her tonight and sleep is beyond me. I need a moment alone in the shower, but I have a feeling even that won’t relieve this ache.
Standing and looking us over, Kelli smirks as she goes in search of the remote. “Come on, boys, just stand up. You know how turned on I am, and I felt how hard you both were underneath me already. What’s the use in trying to hide it?” Logan barks out a laugh, loving the mouth on her. Calling things as they are is usually my specialty, though I like not being the one to do it this time.
Logan and I make eye contact and we both stand up, making some quick adjustments as we go. Logan grabs the remote, which was under him, clicking off the projector and we all make our way up the stairs. Watching Kelli’s hips sway as she walks up both sets of stairs makes things tonight even harder. Literally. At the top of the stairs, before heading toward our wing, she leans into Logan, whispering something in his ear. I watch as he snakes his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug, then uses one hand to lift her chin to place a soft kiss on her lips.
The green-eyed monster still doesn’t rear its ugly head, but I do feel a pang of longing. I want that ease with her. Not wanting to ruin their moment, I make my way to the bathroom to shower and take care of my erection. The steam seeps out of the shower as I step in standing under the spray. Will Kelli still want me in her bed tonight, or would she prefer Logan? I let the water wash away my unease at that thought, and reach for my body wash, squirting a little on my palm.
I let my thoughts drift instead to the sexy little vixen in the next room. She has invaded my dreams this week in the little sleep that I have gotten. Would she be as submissive and dirty as I’m hoping? My hand grips my cock, slowly stroking it as I picture her waiting naked in her bed for me tonight. Her blonde hair spilling over the pillows under her head, knees spread wide as she plays with her dripping pussy. She’d use her other hand to motion me over with her finger, and as I climb onto the end of the bed, she removes the two fingers from her pussy and paints her juices on my lips. Grabbing her wrist, I suck her fingers into my mouth, making sure my tongue gets every last sweet drop of her. Licking my lips, I crawl over her body, taking her plump lips with my own, stroking my tongue against hers, making sure she sees how sweet she tastes. Her name leaves my lips on a moan as I begin to stroke faster.
The noise of the shower pounding on my back and my heavy breathing blocks out the sound of the bathroom door opening. I don’t realize I’m not alone until the sound of a metal button hitting the tiles startles me. Peeking over my shoulder, I see Kelli standing naked outside of the shower, eyes glued to where my hand disappears out of her sight.
“You called?” She says, breathless. My heart is pounding in my chest. She chose me tonight, and damn, if it doesn’t feel good. I was never the first choice, especially with women. Yet, here Kelli is, choosing me.
“Kelli,” is all I can manage to rasp out. She steps into the shower, tracing her hands up my back, around my shoulders, then down my arms. She presses her small, wet body against my back to be able to reach all the way down my arm until she can grip my erection with me. Her small hand can’t fully wrap around, but she gives it a good squeeze and strokes from my hand to the tip and back down. “What are you doing to me?” I whisper. It comes out a lot quieter than I was intending, my knees feeling weak as I use my free hand to brace against the shower wall.
Kelli slowly moves around my body until she’s standing in front of me, her eyes wide as they rake down my body. “I want to taste you, daddy,” she breathes. Before I realize what’s happening, she licks her lips and lowers to her knees. I catch her by the throat, pulling her back up to me. My lips a breath away from hers, I stare deep into her eyes, looking for any trace of her being afraid of me. Her pupils are blown wide, but there isn’t an ounce of fear.
“You may run this house, but here, I’m in charge. You want to call me daddy, then be a good girl and listen to me. I will never hurt you, but I’m not good at being gentle.” I squeeze the sides of her throat just slightly, making myself clear. “Do you still want this?”
“Yes, daddy,” she moans, sending a shiver down my spine. I push her up against the wall, molding my body to hers. My mouth crashes against hers in a searing kiss, stealing the breath from my lungs. Her soft lips follow mine, opening on a gasp when I bite her bottom lip. Using that opening, I push my tongue into her mouth, stroking her tongue with my own just as I did in my fantasy. My hands trail down her body, feeling her soft curves melting under my touch. I kiss her until my cock leaks on her stomach, encouraging me to pull back and give it what it wants.
“Get on your fucking knees and suck me like the dirty girl I know you are,”demand. There is no hesitation from her as she drops to her knees, looking up at me as she licks the pre-cum from my tip. A growl rips from my throat as she parts those pouty lips and wraps them around me. Licking the underside as her mouth slides down my dick, she sucks it in until her eyes water, then moves back up and circles the tip with her tongue. I’ve had good head before, but watching her on her knees while moaning around my cock was going to be my undoing.
I pull her hair into my hand so I can see everything as she continues to slide her lips up and down me. Kelli gags when she takes me in fully, but holds me there before moving back to the tip, still swirling her tongue around it every time. “That’s my good girl. Relax your throat for me, and tap my leg if it’s too much.”
She puts a hand on my thigh, relaxing her mouth and throat as I start to rut into her. Her eyes, so pretty with tears, never leave mine as she lets me thrust into her. Every few hard thrusts, she moans and squeezes my leg but never taps. She feels too good, and it has been too long. I’m not going to last. I feel my balls tighten up as heat races down my spine with my impending orgasm. “Gonna… come..” is all I am able to grit out as I try to pull out from her mouth, but she holds me to her. My cum shoots down her throat in waves as she works to swallow it all down, never breaking eye contact. Letting my spent cock gently fall from her mouth, she wipes the edge of her lips, then licks her fingers clean. Fuuuck, I am gone for this girl.
I grab her hand to help her stand up, moving back to let her under the stream of water. Putting a pump of her shampoo in my hand, I massage it into her scalp. “You are incredible,” I breathe. Her pink swollen lips call me to them for a soft kiss before continuing with her hair. I take a deep inhale before rinsing it out, loving the honeysuckle scent and how it calms me.
“I can do this, you know?” Kelli whispers as I move on to washing her body, not making a move to take over for me.
“I know, but I want to.” I slowly drag the loofah down her strong legs, imagining them wrapped around my head. Her sweet bare lips beg for me to taste them. The need to lay her down and spend the night with my head between her thighs is enough to hold me back. Quickly scrubbing myself down after I finish with her, I turn off the shower and wrap Kelli in her towel. With a kiss on her head, I tell her I’m going to get dressed and will be in her room in a moment.
Dressed in just my boxers, I make my way to her room where Kelli is wearing the frog themed pajamas from the night I met her. She sees me staring and winks as she climbs into the bed. “I thought it was appropriate to wear these.” My lips pull up on their own accord, smiling more around her than I have in the last year. I have never found a woman cute and undeniably sexy at the same time, but she pulls it off constantly. I turn off the light and crawl into the bed with her. Her body immediately scooches over as she presses herself into my side.
Everything I thought I wanted in life was starting to shift. I wanted to be selfish for once, and I wanted more for myself than a life alone. She had me believing that maybe I could be in a relationship, I just haven’t met the right person until now. As she shifts to put her head on my chest, her sweet scent wafts up to me again. I wanted to bury my head between her thighs, hearing her scream my name, but I wanted her in my bed every morning, too. These thoughts should scare me, but they don’t. Apprehension grips me, keeping me from taking her now. I need to know what she wants first. Sharing her was no problem if that’s what she wanted, she just needed to tell me what the expectations were before I got in too deep and she ended up with regrets.
“You are living up to your name again, little flame. Thank you for being my spark today when your world was crumbling down around you.” I pull her leg over my body, holding her closer to me. “Can I ask where your head is at with us?”
Looking up, she runs her fingers through my stubble that is turning into a beard. “With you and me, or me and all of you?”
“Both, I suppose.”
“Well, for starters, I am wildly attracted to all of you. Brian has made it clear that friendship is all I can expect from him. I’m working on accepting that, but my heart might need some time to catch up to my head.” She lays her head back on my chest, lying quietly for a moment. “I have had these impenetrable walls in place for the last few years. You and Logan have been tearing them down brick by brick, making your way into my heart and invading my mind. I don’t think I can choose between you two, and if I am completely honest with myself, I don’t think I want to choose. Is that okay with you?”
She keeps her head down, absentmindedly drawing designs on my stomach with her finger. With a finger under her chin, I lift her face to mine. “That is more than okay with me. Those boys are my brothers; their happiness is as important as mine. You, Kelli girl, make us all incredibly happy.”
My lips land softly on hers, the gentle kiss quickly turning into something more. I push Kelli onto her back, crawling over her body as all my blood rushes south. Our tongues tangle together, my hands pushing up her little shirt to run my fingers over her pebbled nipples. My mouth travels down, licking along her collarbone, nipping a path down her chest, stopping to take a nipple into my mouth. When her whimpers hit my ears, I continue to trail south, pulling her shorts down, thrilled to see nothing under them but her pretty pussy.
My mouth waters at the sight as I push her knees further apart, settling my shoulders between them. I kiss my way up her thigh, blowing along the wet trail dripping from her already. “Is this all for me, pretty girl?” She nods as I lean in, licking every last drop, her hands flying to my short hair holding me to her tightly. I circle her clit with my tongue until she’s panting, then spear my tongue deep inside her, repeating this until her body is shaking under me.
“Please, Josh,” she murmurs, my name so sweet falling from her lips. I use two fingers to stroke inside her, then wrap my lips around her clit and suck hard. My name on repeat from her as her orgasm barrels through her, walls clenching around my fingers. I would never tire of watching her come. She was absolutely breathtaking.
“You taste like my favorite meal.” Staying down, I slowly lick every drop from her as she comes down from her orgasm, groans slipping from my throat. She tastes so damn good, like a dessert I could eat forever and never tire of.
When she becomes fully boneless and sinks into the mattress, I kiss my way back up, pulling her body back into mine. Her leg brushes against my erection as she settles back over me. Kissing the top of her head, I grab her hand that is moving toward it, holding it in mine on my chest. “It’s time to sleep now. I’ve got you, nightmare or not. Goodnight, Kelli.”
Her body slowly relaxes into mine and just before her breathing evens out, she whispers, “Goodnight, Josh.” For the first time in a long time, we both sleep through the night, not stirring until her alarm goes off the next morning.