Safe With Us

Chapter 24

24

KELLI

L ogan crawled onto his bed next to me, pulling the comforter down from over my head. “Why are you hiding in here, baby girl?”

“My brain is melted, so I decided I would melt with it in bed all day.”

His goofy smile and piercing blue eyes read me like a book. “We give you one day off of workouts and you become a slug. I like it, but unfortunately, your pajamas today have seahorses, so they aren’t fitting the vibe. It means you have to get out of bed; you should have worn the chubby mermaids. Come on, get up!”

“Chubby mermaids?”

“Yeah, you know, manatees. I mean it, pretty girl, we are getting up.”

My legs kick under the sheets, but then Josh strides in and lays on my other side, trapping me tight under the blankets. “He got a tattoo of us, in our favorite spot. Why can’t he let me love him?” The traitorous wobble in my lips gave away my hurt.

“You can still love him, just in a different way. He will pull his head out of the sand eventually and see that his pain is self-inflicted, but it is going to take a while. Did you know he started a college fund for my future nieces and nephews?” Logan shakes his head as Josh continues on. “He feels guilty over everything that happened to my leg during the ambush. I will never take anything from him, and he knows that. I don’t blame him, I never have. But to ease his guilt, Logan and I discovered he set up accounts in both my sister’s names and has been putting money in it every month with a note that it’s to be used for their children when they come.”

Logan’s fingers trail along my face, tucking an unruly curl behind my ear. “He doesn’t know that we know. He will never be able to heal until he can learn to either drop the guilt or learn to live with it. He’s made progress, and he will get there. He just needs a big push. Until then, we all love him the best that we can in a way that he allows.”

“He loves you so much, Kelli. I was there the day he got that tattoo. He said he got it on his right side because that’s where you always sat. Where you were always meant to be, right by his side. So that’s where you can stay, okay?” Josh’s soft lips press lightly to mine.

The blankets are ripped off me the minute Josh pulls away. “Alright, time to get up! I know exactly what will cheer you up.” Josh scoops me into his arms, carrying me downstairs to plop me on the couch.

“I think I kind of like princess treatment, can you carry me everywhere?”

“Happily, Kel.” He drops a lingering kiss to my forehead before heading to the office.

Logan starts on French toast on the brioche bread we made earlier in the week while Josh comes back to set me up with his tablet to call Danny. I have never been taken care of in the way these two have been doing for me. They always know exactly what I need and go out of their way to make sure I feel safe, happy, and seen. My heart is healing with their presence every day, where they are building back the pieces that were broken.

I still feel like something is missing though, and I know that something is Brian. I don’t know that I will ever feel complete without him loving me as more than a friend, but I have to try. Never did I think I would have two amazing men in my life, both of which I am falling hard for, harder than I thought was possible. My battered heart has the capacity for so much love, and I want to give it to them.

Last night, as we all laid in bed, we talked about what the future could look like for us. This last week, I have been thinking more and more about how Boston didn’t feel like home anymore. The fact that they were also thinking about a future with me almost brought me to tears. I want to be in their life beyond just being their forced roommate, and they felt the same. Life doesn’t always play out how you imagine, and in this instance, I am beyond grateful.

Danny didn’t answer my call, but texted Josh to say we could Facetime tonight. I decided to try and call Natalie to catch up. I haven’t told the boys, but I reached out to the hospital through Alex and put in my resignation. I couldn’t make them hold a position for me when I didn’t want to return there. My work wife was not going to be happy, but she deserved to know. Mercy was the only hospital I have known; I have spent the majority of my days and nights there for the last five years. Writing that resignation email was easier than I thought, though, a sense of peace flowing through me when Alex confirmed it had been sent when we talked two days ago.

Natalie answered on the fourth ring, her tired face filling the screen. “Please tell me you are coming back now. My new work wife sucks.”

Chuckling at her desperate voice, I shook my head. “Sorry, love, I am not coming back now.” I peek behind the couch to make sure no one is nearby. “In fact, I am not coming back at all.”

“You what?!” She shrieked through the tablet at me.

“I put in my resignation. It might have been a little rushed, but I felt such a sense of calm when I made the decision. Boston doesn’t feel like the place for me anymore. My house there will never feel safe again, and something about out here just feels like home.”

“I can understand that. I wouldn’t be able to go back to that home either. What are you going to do now?”

“I have Danny working on moving my things into storage. There is a smaller hospital in the area that has some open nursing positions. It would definitely be a change of pace, a slower one, but it could be a good thing. I would have more of a work-life balance for the first time. I think I might finally have something to be home for that makes me crave that balance.”

“Please tell me it’s the hotties you’re shacking up. Let me live vicariously through you; tell me every juicy detail.” Her eyebrows wiggle at me. “Which one is it? Josh? Your bestie? The sweet funny one?”

I roll my eyes at her. “The sweet funny one’s name is Logan, and it’s actually Josh and Logan. My bestie is still just my bestie.” It hurt saying that out loud, but it was so nice to finally tell someone about my budding relationships. I was going to tell Danny tonight, too, though I think he has an idea since I mentioned looking for a new home in this area. “I am really falling for them, Nat. I have never been cared for the way they care for me. They encourage me, support me, quite literally at the moment, they are open with me, and my god, they are incredible in bed. I’m having the best sex of my life, times two. I have always been a firm believer that you need at least six months with someone before the word love can come into play, but they make me question that. I don’t think love has a timeline anymore. A month with them 24/7 and I can confidently say I am falling in love with them both.”

Natalie stares at me, open mouthed, until a tear slips down her cheek. “My little cynic fell in love. I am so happy for you, Kelli. No one deserves this more than you.”

We spend another twenty minutes talking until Logan comes in to tell me breakfast is ready. I said goodbye to Natalie with promises to call again next week with more details on my sex life because she didn’t get enough this time. Logan’s chuckle behind me told me he heard that part of our goodbyes. I follow him to the kitchen, where he has breakfast spread out on the island. All the guys are sitting there waiting for me, which is really sweet.

“This looks incredible, handsome. Thank you.” I kiss Logan’s cheek before settling into the last open barstool. All three sets of eyes turn to me. “What?”

“That’s the first time you’ve used anything besides our names. Or daddy.” Logan winks, while Brian chokes on a sip of his coffee. “I liked it.”

“Why is he handsome, though? What if I want to be called handsome?” Josh pipes in from next to me.

“Well, you are all handsome, but you can be ‘bear.’ You have this growly demeanor with gigantic muscles, but you are the best cuddler. I’m still calling you daddy in the bedroom, though.”

“HA! She called you fat. We all know I’m the best cuddler,” Brian chimes in.

“False. Josh might not have that trimmed and cut build like you two, but damn, he gives off big boy vibes and he fits it… everywhere,” I say with a wink as I take a bite of my French toast and let out a happy moan. Damn, Logan is such a good cook. “I mean it in the best way; he’s bear and I am sticking to it.”

Josh’s lips brush my ear as he whispers, “I love it, little flame. I’ll be your big boy any day.” He kisses the side of my head and makes sure the guys can hear. “Plus, this big boy can kick your asses, and you both know it.”

“Fine, he can claim best cuddler, and I’ll claim best with my mouth and the title of handsome. Can we all move on now?” Logan, who is on my other side, gives my leg a squeeze. “We didn’t mean to, but we might have overheard part of your conversation with your friend out there.” I could feel the blood drain from my face. Were they going to be upset? I should have told them that I quit. Did they even want me living in the area right away? Had they heard me say that I loved them? Shit.

Logan’s hands cup my face, turning me to face him. “Breathe, baby girl. Breathe with me.” He takes several big breaths with me until the ringing in my ears stops and I feel the color return to my face. “That’s my good girl. Now, erase whatever is going through your pretty head right now and just let us talk, okay?” I nod, not yet trusting my voice to not shake. “Good, now don’t freak out, but I am pretty sure Josh heard the entire conversation.”

Josh has the decency to look guilty about it, but his earnest eyes keep me from getting upset. “I wasn’t intentionally listening. I was sitting at the dining room table, but I don’t think you saw me. When I overheard that you had resigned, I was going to sneak away because I figured this was something you didn’t want me hearing yet, but then you started talking about how you felt at home here, and you were going to look at the local hospital for work. I was rooted to the spot.”

“We want you to know we are really proud of you for following your heart and quitting that job. Whatever we can do to help with getting your stuff sent here, too, we will do it. There was no time for us to talk it over, but I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that we all agree that we want you to stay here. Not just until this stalker business gets sorted either. You don’t need to rush to find a new place. Stay here, in our home, with us.” Brian’s last words were soft, and they shocked the hell out of me. I didn’t think he would want my relationship with his friends continuously shoved in his face.

“He’s right. I know you can’t apply for a job until we find your stalker, but we will help you find something when you can. Move in with us, Kelli. Not just temporarily. It may be fast, and it may be crazy, but you make our house a home.” Josh says as he threads his fingers through mine, brushing my knuckles along his lips.

“We can move some of your stuff up here this weekend to help you feel like this place is yours, too. It could definitely use a woman’s touch. Some color probably wouldn’t hurt either. Make our house your home, too.” Logan’s thumb swipes under my eyes to catch the tears I hadn’t realized I had been letting flow.

They all looked so earnest and eager, like this was the best idea they had ever had. I really don’t know if I’m ready to live with them forever. It has only been a month, and while things are great now, they aren’t guaranteed to stay that way. Would Brian get resentful? Would I be okay if he brought another woman home? Despite my reservations, I wanted to stay. They are right, I feel at home when I’m here with them.

“I will stay, but I want you to know I might still look for my own place once I get a job. This is all so new, and I don’t want you to regret this rash decision. Can we take it a day at a time?”

Josh pipes up, “Yes, absolutely. Brian and I will get as much of your stuff from storage as we can this weekend. You are welcome to put whatever you want in the house. We have a large storage room in the garage you can use, too. We want you here. Today, tomorrow, and every day after.” My lips find his, tender with a hint of salt from my tears. This shy, grumpy man is turning out to be the softest underneath it all.

“It’s settled then! We have a new roomie. We can go shopping next week for any new things you need, too. I know you’ve been getting restless being stuck here. I think a shopping trip in town would be okay. Now, everyone eat, the breakfast I worked hard on is getting cold,” whines Logan.

The rest of the breakfast was spent talking about what things they should grab first from storage, what things we could upgrade for the house, and what positions were open at the local hospital. Not once did they mention anything else from my call with Natalie, specifically the fact that I told her I was falling in love. My breakfast sat like a rock in my stomach the rest of the day. Did Josh not hear that part? If he did, did he tell Logan? Do they not feel the same and don’t want to embarrass me by bringing it up? The questions ran through my head all day, making it hard to focus on anything else.

By the evening, I was a mess of feelings. They didn’t feel the same, and I was okay with that. Logan said that Josh had heard the entire conversation, so he had to have heard me say that I was falling in love. They would have said something if their feelings matched mine. It was really soon; there was no reason for them to feel the same, honestly. Like I told Natalie earlier, I could see now that there was no timeline for love. Yet, my stupid heart hurts. I wanted them to feel the same all-consuming feelings I felt. Their touches left my skin buzzing, their kisses quieted my mind. I could feel their presence when they were near, and felt an ache when we were apart. I spent my days with them, and as if that weren’t enough, they were almost always in my dreams. I didn’t want to be alone in these feelings. I didn’t want to be alone in anything anymore.

I showered in mine and Josh’s bathroom to give myself some space to think. Maybe it was best if I slept in my own bed tonight, alone. Whether they were meant to hear it or not, I had dropped heavy feelings on the guys today. If I was brave enough, I would ask Brian to sleep with me again. I didn’t want to push him; he said he couldn’t do more than friendship with me and it really wouldn’t be fair to ask this of him. But since the guys have started sleeping with me, I have only had two nightmares, and I didn’t want to go back to having them again. Getting fucked to sleep and the all-night cuddles weren’t things I was going to complain about either.

When I got out of the shower, I took my time drying my hair and doing my nightly skin care routine. In my room, I put on my favorite pajama set, the ones with butterflies, and crawled into bed. One night was all I would give myself to wallow in my feelings, and then tomorrow, I would just be grateful that I had two amazing guys that cared for me deeply and a best friend that loved me.

Tucking the blankets up to my face, I let the tears fall. Not even ten minutes passed before my bedroom door swung open with Josh barging in. He tossed my blankets off me, picked me up bridal style, and carried me to Logan’s room. He crawled into the bed with me in his lap and kissed every tear that slid down my cheeks.

“Please don’t cry, you’re killing me.” His arms wrapped tighter around me, as Logan tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Why are you hiding from us, baby girl?”

I was too mortified to answer, but his question just made the tears fall faster. It was such an embarrassing thing to cry over, and I certainly couldn’t admit it to them, so I just shook my head and tucked it in closer to Josh’s chest.

“Well, if you won’t tell us, we have something to tell you. I need you to stop crying, though. You’re breaking my heart here.” I took some deep breaths trying to compose myself while they dried my tears. “That’s better,” Logan said when I got myself together. “We had something special planned for you tonight. Well, it’s actually something for all of us, really.” He looked around the room then, my eyes following. There were candles lit on every available surface in the room. He had even cleaned, not leaving a single sock on the floor or junk on the dresser.

“Last night, we talked about what our future might look like if we pursue this relationship. When you fell asleep, Logan and I talked about how deep we were in this with you. The future we want with you. I love you, Kelli. I am so stupidly in love with you. I have never felt the way I do when I am with you, and the thought of you leaving makes me physically ill. When I heard you tell your friend you were falling in love with us today, I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. I felt a joy beyond anything I’ve ever fathomed. I love you,” Josh proclaimed.

Before I could respond, Logan pulled me onto his lap. “I love you, too, baby girl. I thought I knew what love was before you. I thought I knew what my dream woman would be like. Yet, here you are, being so much more. Making me feel so much more. You are just more, Kelli girl. More than I dreamed of. More than I deserve. More beautiful than the best sunset on the lake after the perfect day. I know it’s only been a month of you in our lives, but damn if you haven’t just stamped yourself onto my soul, onto my heart too. I love you.”

The tears were flowing freely again, and there was no hope of stopping them now. “I love you both, too,” I rasped out before Logan’s mouth crashed down on mine. His kiss bled into my soul, stamping him there to forever be a piece of me. Our salty kiss turned sweet as he pulled back and kissed down my tear-stained cheeks and neck.

“We wanted to try something new tonight, if you are up for it,” Josh murmured in my ear, rubbing his hand down my back.

“Are you finally going to fuck me together?” I ask with an excitement I’ve never experienced. Logan snickers against my skin, still kissing down my neck. I have been asking to try it, but they insisted on taking things slow when it came to taking them both at once. Last night, they took turns fucking me while I had a plug in my ass, and it only intensified my desire to take them both.

“No, Kelli, we are going to make love to you together.” A shiver wracked through me at Logan’s words. Josh pulled off my tank top, freeing my breasts for Logan to lavish. Lifting my hips he pulled my shorts and panties off, one leg at a time, before lying next to us in bed.

“Undress me, Kelli,” Josh said in his deep voice, hooded eyes trailing down my body. I climbed off Logan to slowly pull Josh’s shorts and boxers down his legs. His hard cock sprung free, slapping his stomach. I meant it when I said he was a big boy this morning. He was hard and large everywhere. Thick and long, his purple head already dripping precum was just begging to be sucked. Settling myself between his legs, I leaned down and sucked one ball into my mouth, then the other, letting them pop before licking him from base to tip. My tongue swirled around his head, lapping up his salty release before swallowing him down.

“I love watching your eyes water when my cock hits the back of your throat.” Josh grabs my hair into a makeshift ponytail so he can watch every inch of him sink into my mouth. His green eyes darkened as I gagged every time I reached the base. I might not be a deep throat queen when it came to his large size, but he never seemed to mind. In fact, he seemed to love the fact that he was almost too big to take. “You make such pretty sounds when choking on my fat cock. I told you I would happily be your big boy, Kelli girl.”

I gasp as Logan’s hand slaps my butt, lifting me to my knees. His hot mouth licks me from clit to ass and back again before lavishing my pussy. He happily defended his self-proclaimed title of being the best with his mouth. The way he could fuck me with his tongue was unmatched. Josh’s hips buck, fucking into my mouth while Logan continues his assault on my wet pussy before moving two fingers to my tight hole. He sinks in to stroke my inner walls, never removing his mouth from me.

I could feel my orgasm coming on like a train barreling down the tracks with no brakes. Lights flashed behind my eyes as my body exploded into little pieces. Logan’s fingers stroked me through it as Josh pulled my mouth off him, laying me on his chest. When every last drop of pleasure has been wrung from my body, Logan removed his fingers, licking them clean.

Josh pulls me up further until I am lined up perfectly on him. His hand strokes up and down my back, his piercing green eyes filled with lust. The flickering light from the candles enhances his strong features, drowning me in his raw beauty. “There’s something else we wanted to talk to you about. We both got tested last week when we went out for groceries, and we’re clean. I know you said you are on birth control the first time we were together. Could we…” Josh trails off.

“Yes! I want to feel you inside me with no barrier.”

“Then be our good girl and sit on my dick,” Josh demands as we both let out a collective breath as I slide down his erection, taking him to the hilt.

“Fuck, why is that so hot?” Logan groans from behind me. “Ride him, baby.”

I hold onto Josh’s barrel chest, grinding myself up and down him. He lets me find my rhythm for a few minutes before his hands grip my ass, pulling my cheeks apart. A lid pops open behind me, giving away what Logan is about to do. He gently pushes my back down towards Josh’s chest. His lubed fingers circle around my ass before one slowly pushes in past the tight barrier. He circles that finger around some more before easing a second one in.

The burning sensation is still new to me, and I try to breathe through it. Josh grips my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Relax, baby, let him in.” I suck in another unsteady breath, letting it out slowly while forcing my body to relax. As soon as his finger slips further in, I feel more pressure and less pain.

Josh pulls my chin down for a kiss, his warm lips stroking against mine. He nips my bottom lip, then sucks it into his mouth as I melt further into him. His tongue caresses mine, his hand holding the back of my head, the embrace radiating the passion he is pouring into it. His hips slowly rock into mine. Logan’s fingers slide in and out, scissoring me open in preparation for him. Goosebumps spread across my arms and down my legs at the feel of them working me over.

“You ready, baby?” Logan asks, pulling his fingers from me and lubing up his cock. I nod, incapable of voicing how ready I am for this. Josh’s fingers reach down between us to circle my clit, keeping me relaxed for Logan.

His cock presses into me, stealing the breath from my lungs. “That’s our good girl, taking us both. You’re doing so well.” Josh puts more pressure on my clit as he praises me through it. Logan keeps sliding in until I feel him bottom out against me.

“Holy fuck ,you feel so good, Kelli. So perfect for us.” His hands rub up and down my back, loosening my muscles further. “I’m going to move now, pretty girl.” He slowly pulls out, and as he pushes back in, Josh pulls out. They seesaw back and forth in an agonizingly slow rhythm until the pain is gone and all I can feel is pure bliss.

“More,” I manage to moan out. I feel so full, every nerve on edge as tingles spread throughout my body. They pick up the pace, continuing to drive into me in alternating thrusts, all while praising me. Our sweat slicked skin grinds together, sweet moans being drawn from all of us. I can feel my body moving closer to release, but I want more. I need more.

“Please, I need more,” I grind out. Josh grips my throat, as Logan leans back to give my ass a hard slap.

“Is this more, baby? You like when we are a little rough with you?” Josh’s fingers squeeze at the sides of my neck, adding just enough pressure. Logan’s hips pound into me from behind, another slap cracking down onto my ass. “Your perfect body is squeezing us so tight, that greedy pussy is so wet, sucking me in.” Their rhythm picks up again as heat blazes through my body, the first signs of my impending orgasm flooding my body.

“That’s our good girl, come all over our cocks.” Josh’s raspy voice sends me over the edge. His mouth covers mine, stealing the scream of pleasure as I crash around them. Logan is the first to follow me over that edge, shouting my name as he fills my ass with hot spurts of his cum. My body slowly comes down from my earth-shattering orgasm as he pulls out of me slowly.

Josh flips me over, shoving my knees to the side as he continues to thrust into me. “Look at me, Kelli. Give me one more.”

I shake my head, my body spent. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Come with me, pretty girl.” His fingers find my clit again, driving my body right back to that edge, his hips never faltering. “I can feel you fluttering around me. Come for me.”

Lights flare behind my eyes, my body shattering right over the edge again. Josh’s name finds its way to my lips as he growls out his release, coming with me. My body floats back slowly to reality, and I have become utter mush. My heavy eyelids finally open to Logan’s fingers trailing down my face and neck.

“How are you feeling?”

“So good. So tired.” His soft laugh floats around me before he presses his lips to mine in a delicate kiss. Hands grasp under my knees and shoulders, lifting me from the bed. Logan carries me into the bathroom and straight into the shower where Josh is already waiting. They take turns gently washing every inch of me, trailing kisses along my body the whole time, rubbing out all my sore muscles. I feel cherished by them, loved in every sense of the word. Logan turns off the shower, drying me off gingerly before carrying me back to bed, setting me in the middle.

They blow out all the candles before sliding into bed on either side of me. I turn to Josh first, kissing his kiss-swollen lips. “I love you. You have so much to give, and you have given it all to me. Thank you for trusting me, talking with me, being so patient with me, and being my strength when mine was gone.”

Rolling over, I am met with Logan’s soft gaze and sweet smile. “I love you. I have never smiled as much as I do with you. You light me up from the inside, you’re the joy I have been missing in my life. You cherish me, encourage me, push me. I love who I am with you.” His kiss is feather light, yet holds so much emotion.

Josh pulls me back into him, wrapping his body around mine. “Goodnight, our perfect girl. We love you,” he whispers in my ear before my drained body gives in to sleep.