37. Set In Stone
37
Set In Stone
Violet
Kole is quiet on the drive home. His hand stays tucked between my thighs. His thumb grazes my bare leg, sending goosebumps over my skin.
His stoic expression makes it impossible to read what’s on his mind. I only know that I have plenty on mine.
Liam made a comment to Kole the night he was killed that there were traitors in Sigma House. And if the Westwoods are going after Ian Pierce’s senator seat, I can’t help but wonder if that’s what he was talking about, or why I would have anything to do with it given what Liam planned to do to me to enact his revenge.
Kole trusts Declan. But what if Declan is the one who’s been betraying him all along? If he’s in on it, I’m not any safer now than I was when Liam was alive and planning to use me in his twisted game .
The car rolls to a stop outside my dorm, and I look over at Kole, who’s still gripping the steering wheel. It takes him a moment to turn off the car and climb out. And I’m frozen in place, watching him circle to my side of the car.
Popping the door open, he looks down at me. His eyes stay fixed on mine as I climb out. And once I do, he grabs my hand and closes the car door behind me.
“Are you worried Declan’s keeping something from you?” I ask, breaking the silence, knowing my question might irritate him.
Kole avoids my gaze. “No.”
“Your stepdad said—”
Kole spins me until I’m pinned against the side of my dorm, cutting off my sentence. His hand clutches my jaw while he trails his thumb over the center of my throat.
“Don’t.” It’s half plea and almost silent.
I’m not even sure I know what he’s referring to—my mention of his stepdad or my doubt over Declan’s loyalty. All I know is there’s something broken in his gaze that wasn’t there when he picked me up tonight.
“Liam wanted to hurt me,” I remind Kole, trying to tread carefully when his fingers clench around my throat. “Who says he was the only one in on that plan? The video was going to go somewhere. He can’t be the only person who knew what was going on.”
“I know, okay? But I can’t think about that right now, Violet.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ll never let anything happen to you.” His voice drops .
Doubt.
Pain.
He’s not avoiding my question because he thinks I’m wrong. He’s avoiding it because it scares him. Something I didn’t think possible.
Kole has experienced so much torture in his life that he’s still inflicting it on himself every chance he gets. His fear festers no matter how much he battles for control. His mind is in a cage for his demons to hold him hostage, and he doesn’t think he deserves to escape.
And I’m the trigger. The button that releases all his doubt, fear, and rage.
Reaching up, I cup Kole’s face in my hands and appreciate that he doesn’t pull away.
He doesn’t let people touch him, and even his friends are only allowed so close. But he doesn’t flinch as I hold his cheeks and trace his scar with my thumb.
“Kole.” I trace the scar again—the part of him that was cut open and let his dark side out. “I know you won’t let anything happen. That’s not why I asked.”
His expression softens the slightest at my comment, and he sinks against me.
“If anyone else was in on it, I’ll find them. But it’s not Declan,” Kole says.
“Okay.” I have no choice but to agree when he’s this certain.
Especially when I want him to be right.
I stare into his eyes, brushing my thumb back and forth. Memorizing him like he’s done with me. He’s the only man who has ever really seen me, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m the only person who has ever really seen him.
Up until now, every moment in his life has been a test, and everyone around him has played a part in it. I can’t imagine what that does to a person.
“Can I ask you something?”
Kole nods, not seeming the least bit hesitant.
“Is what they say true?” I run my thumb over the scar again, thinking about all he’s survived. “Did your family really lock you in a psych ward, or were those just rumors?”
I might not have cared before because I knew he was generally unhinged and assumed that was the reason. But after spending tonight with his family, I’m desperate for the details. I need to understand him—to figure him out.
There may be no defining the darkness inside him, but I’ll keep trying.
My back is pressed against the brick, and the cool night air tickles my legs, but Kole shields me like he always does.
“It’s true.”
I press my lips together at his confirmation, even if I already expected his answer. “Why?”
“Because after I killed my father, my mom was scared of me.”
My eyebrows pinch. “I thought no one knew you killed him, even if your grandfather suspected it.”
“No one who would have done anything about it knew or suspected it.” He shakes his head just once, and now his mom’s worried expression tonight makes sense .
The warning shone brightly in her eyes. The fear that struck me each time our gazes connected. His mom might love him, but she’s scared of what he’s capable of.
“Your mom thinks you’ll hurt me.”
“No more than you want me to.” But as he says it, his hand tenses on my throat, tightening when he feels me swallow. “I won’t.”
The more my eyes widen, the tighter he grips.
I should fear him. I should have run that first night. But blood rushes through me as I reach for his wrist and dig my nails in.
I claw into that spot on his arm where my teeth marks live. I mark him like he does me.
“I won’t,” he repeats, but he sounds less sure this time.
Saint is seeping out, always just under the surface. Making Kole doubt what he wants and what he’ll do.
“What if I want you to?”
Kole’s eyes snap to mine.
Not Kole— Saint .
Scalding fire and blistering heat. And I want him to unleash himself on me if only to remind me why I decided all those years ago life is still worth living.
The darkest twitch in the corner of his mouth says I’ve woken the beast. The side of him that wants to hurt me—wants to torture me. Wants to climb inside me and mess everything up.
And it has my blood boiling hot.
Saint shoves me to the ground, not releasing my throat. Someone could stumble upon us if they’re just getting home, but I don’t care. Maybe I want them to see it. I’m his, and there’s no denying it.
He reaches for his pants and starts to undo them. His fingers are so tight I’m struggling for air. My tears cloud my vision as I blink up at him. A man who swears to protect me as often as he promises to tear me to shreds.
“Why do you beg me to hurt you, kitten?” Something about the way he asks makes me wonder how long he’s been struggling with that question.
“Because.” I choke for air, barely able to get the words out. “I need to feel something.”
Saint leans down, hovering his face over mine. He loosens his grip on my throat to offer me a gulp of air, but his mouth seals to my lips as I drink it in. He sucks my tongue into his mouth and bites down on it. The metallic taste of blood leaks into his mouth, and he swallows it down.
He consumes me.
“You’re lucky then.” He licks my mouth, pulling back a breath to stare into my eyes. “Because I love hurting you.”
I love you.
Not that I say it. I don’t think he would know what to do with those words when he’s never been shown what they mean.
But as he pulls back and shoves his jeans down in the front to reveal his hard cock, I’m na?ve enough to convince myself that’s what this is.
Love .
Hurt .
He’s handing me all of him .
He pumps his hand over his length, letting himself leak onto my lips. “Open, kitten. Swallow my cock down that beautiful fucking throat.”
I do as I’m told, and he thrusts himself in. He releases my neck as he does and grabs the back of my head instead. Bottoming out, he holds me there, cutting off my oxygen.
“Swallow.”
I do. My throat constricts, taking him further. And it hurts—his thickness, the lack of air, his grip on my scalp. But I do it again.
Tears stream down my cheeks as he pulls back. A sob rips out of me with relief until he thrusts himself forward again.
While I’ve seen some gentleness in Kole, Saint doesn’t show the same mercy. He’s ruthless. And after tonight, I think he needs this as much as I do. To forget where we came from and where that’s led us.
The decisions we can’t run from, and the consequences we’ll no doubt soon face. This might feel endless, but it’s also never been so temporary, knowing one turned-over secret could tear him away.
But in this moment, it’s just me and Saint. Lost in the forest where he saved me from myself.
Running wild and breaking rules. Giving into our sick pleasure.
Saint fucks my mouth, and his cock starts to pulse, but when I expect him to spill his release down my throat, he pulls back instead .
He tugs me to my feet, spins me around, shoving me against the brick and pulling my dress up over my hips. And in one hard thrust, he impales me, kicking the air from my lungs.
I scratch at the brick, trying to hold on. His fingers find my hair, forcing my back to arch until I’m looking up at him. My chest brushes the wall with each thrust. My body aches with how it bends, but I’m lost in him.
Drowning in the sensation of him filling me as my body clenches.
“So tight for me, kitten.” Saint licks the tears from my cheek, dipping his mouth down to sink his teeth into my neck.
And I’m so desperate for his pain that I don’t try to hold back my scream. It rips from my lungs as he seals a hand over my mouth to silence it.
“No one is going to save you from me.” He hits me deep, over and over. “No one is going to take you from me.”
Confessions.
Manifestations.
He’s willing his statements into existence with each pump of his hips—like it isn’t already set in stone.
My eyes lock on his, and my entire body shivers. He’s so deep there’s no carving him out. And as I shake in his arms, he fucks me harder. He claims my body like he’s reaping my soul.
Saint fills me with his cum until it’s dripping down my legs. Until he releases my hair, and my forehead presses to the brick as I relax .
His hips tighten to my body, but he doesn’t pull out as he presses himself flush against me and drops his mouth to my ear.
“You’re mine, Violet.”
“I know,” I exhale.
I know.