Chapter 1
“Saint, can you come here, please?” Those words still sent a ripple of fear through me, even though they’re now spoken kindly and asked not demanded.
I expect it to be the moment that everything here will be over.
That I’m being sent back to my dad. Nothing this good can last, especially since there are two more kids here.
Knox arrived about four months after I did, he’s a scrawny half-starved, little kid a few years younger than me.
Drake was next, he’s only twelve, and he was a bag of bones and bruises.
His story is worse than mine, but Kip always tells us that it’s not ours to tell.
I moved schools after moving in—it wasn’t safe to keep me in the one near my dad.
Robin has been in charge of all my care issues, and I’m officially emancipated for my dad’s care.
It’s much better at the new school. I haven’t been picked on or laughed at for looking like shit.
Maybe because I have decent clothes now, not ones I had to scrounge from a charity shop.
Robin and Kip are amazing, they don’t shout, threaten me, or just ignore me. They ask about my day, they help me with my homework, and I still get to go to the gym and have my friends there.
I walk into the kitchen. It’s a huge room with a long wooden table that can have about ten people sit there.
This is the heart of the house. It’s warm and comforting, mainly because Robin loves cooking and baking.
It always smells amazing; now it smells of cookies, and I spy a plate of them on the table.
Kip is sitting down with Knox and Drake, and they’re already munching on the chocolate chip cookies.
“Hey, don’t eat them all.” I try to sound jokey, but the words stick in my throat. Kip notices, and he tips his head, gesturing for me to sit down.
When Robin sits next to me, I know it’s going to be bad.
“I don’t want to go back,” I blurt out. Tears prickle my eyes, making me blink them away before they dare to break free.
I’m not going to cry in front of them, but I’m scared to go back.
My dad will be so angry with me. I’ve almost forgotten how much being punched hurts, but right now, I can feel them again.
“I won’t go. I’ll run away if you send me back there.
I’m sixteen now, I can look after myself. ”
It's too late, and a tear slips free, followed by more. Swiping them away just seem to make it worse. When Robin puts his arm around my shoulders, I shrug him away. My chair scrapes over the wood floor as I stand up to leave.
“Saint, stop.” Kip’s voice is firm, making me stop. “Look at me, please.”
Robin is behind me. His hand touches my shoulder gently, and I flinch, not able to look at either of them.
“Saint,” he says again. When I turn to him, he looks sad. “You’re not going anywhere, kiddo. I promised you you’d never have to go back there, and I meant it. You’re stuck with us.”
“So, what’s with the serious faces?” I still don’t make a move to sit back at the table.
“When you sit down, I can tell you.” He waits patiently while I move back to my seat. “We’ll talk about what just happened in a moment, Saint, but for now we have something to discuss as a family.”
The tension drains from my body as I slump down in my chair. Robin’s hand doesn’t leave my shoulder, comforting me.
“We have new kid joining us this afternoon. He’s in hospital at the moment, but I’m going to collect him in a little while.”
“Is he okay? What happened?” Knox asks, worry plastered all over his face. He’s been in hospital, too, and hates them.
“I think we should wait to see if he wants to share his experience. His name is Royal, and he’s fifteen.”
“How long is he staying?” I ask. This seems more serious than when we’ve had other kids stay—they just slipped in and out of our lives.
“He’s going to be here long term. He’ll be in the room next to yours, Saint. Can you make sure that the bathroom is clean and tidy and stocked up?”
I nod and stand up. “I can do that now.”
But Kip shakes his head, then to Knox and Drake, he tells them they can go.
I don’t want to talk about why I was so scared.
Kip and Robin are big on talking through our issues, I’ve always shut down, hiding my emotions.
My dad would’ve given me a slap around my head if I’d tried to talk to him about anything. It was his way or no way.
“I think we need to talk about your reaction, Saint. You’re with us, buddy, and we want you here.
There’s no way we would or could send you away.
If you decided you didn’t want to live here anymore, then we would find you another safe place to live.
” Robin holds my hand as he speaks. Kip reaches over the table to take my other one.
“I don’t want to leave here. I love it with you. But I still get scared. He’s still out there, and he’ll be so pissed off that he’s lost his punching bag. I’m always waiting for the day he grabs me.”
Kip squeezes my hand. “Do you know that we have a court order that stops you from ever having to go back to your father.”
I stare at him, then look at Robin. He smiles as he nods his agreement. “I knew you’d done something, but I didn’t know it was that serious. I’m really here for good?”
“For as long as you want.” Robin chuckles, and our shoulders bump.
I look at the kid when he walks in with Kip, and I know him.
Not him the person, but the pain, humiliation, and a nervousness that’s rolling through his body like a tidal wave.
I know he’s been in hospital, and he’s hurting.
Knox and Drake are behind me; they’ll behave for once.
They’re younger than me and too loud for my liking.
But we all get along; we know it’s a million times better than where we came from.
Robin introduces us. “Royal, this is Saint, Knox, and Drake.” He turns to us. “Boys, this is Royal. He’ll be staying with us for a while.”
Royal looks at me, and there’s a spark of recognition. He’s seen the same kindred spirit in me. He’s going to be my best friend. “Hi, it’s good to meet you.”
He smiles tentatively but steps inside. “Yeah, you too.”
Robin and Kip follow him. “Saint, can you show Royal to his room?”
“This way. Cool name by the way,” I say, and he blushes, shaking his head.
“Says the guy called Saint.”
“It’s an abbreviation of a name you don’t need to know.
I think it was another way of my dad hating me.
” I haven’t thought of my full name or seen my dad in a long time.
The last time was when he showed up at the gym about a month after I got here.
He was steaming drunk, demanding that I went home with him.
That I’d ‘turn gay’ living with Kip and Robin, which was funny since I already knew I was.
“This is my room.” I point to the open door, and Royal steps towards it. “Your room is next to mine, and we’ll have to share a bathroom, but I’m not a shower hog. If you were sharing with Knox, then you’d be waiting forever.”
“I’m not sharing with you?” He speaks quietly, but with surprise.
“No, we all have our own rooms. Sometimes we buddy up if there’s an emergency, but there are a couple more rooms upstairs.”
“I’ve never had my own room.”
We stop walking as I look at him. “You’re going to be okay here, they’re awesome people. There’s always food in the house, and you can have as much as you want. I haven’t been hungry since I got here.”
“How long is that?”
“’Bout a year. My dad’s an arsehole, too quick with his fists and usually drunk.
I had to do some bad shit when I lived with him, but I’m safe now.
” Now that’s a word I never used before coming here, I was always waiting for the police to turn up at our door.
I knew that my dad would let them take me rather than him.
Hell, he’d probably be the one that called it in.
We make the last few steps to a closed door. “This is your room.” I twist the round brass handle to open the door.
Royal looks inside, then at me. “For real?”
“Yep. Every bit of it.” I look at it through his eyes: the neatly made bed, furniture that matches, and desk with a laptop on it.
“But I could take that computer and leave. I mean, I’m not going to, but they don’t know that.” He looks horrified at the idea, but it’s a valid point.
“They trust us, just the way you’re trusting them by coming here. I knew Kip before they took me in. I go to the gym because there’s a club after school. We get to learn how to use all the gym equipment and spar in the boxing ring. It’s good fun. You should come.”
He brightens up a little. “I’d like that.”