17. Saint
Iflipped him partway through, and he offered his wrists crossed behind his back. He hadn’t said it again, but I could hear him saying “Hold me down, don’t let me get away,” in my mind and I did exactly that. I held his wrists together and took him roughly, encouraged by the pleas for more, particularly when I told him he was my gorgeous Osito. Bold claim, but we were both into it and I was going with it.
He finished first and I would have stopped, but he shook his head frantically when I made to pull out. “Keep going– Hold me down and keep going.”
The direction had been unexpected but I was quite happy with where I was and if he wanted more I wasn’t about to complain. He began to squirm but sounded no less enthusiastic after a short time, but I was nearly there, so I held him more firmly and gave him a few hard strokes that tipped me over too. I bent low over his back and smeared kisses on his skin as I shuddered. After I was finished, I mouthed gently at the healing mark from where he had been grazed during the drive-by.
We slowly relaxed down into the bed, and I rolled us a little, just to make sure I didn’t hurt him while I held him. He brought my hand up to his face and kissed the back, still catching his breath, then tucked it under his chin and let out a long, deep breath. It was sweet and needy and made me want to protect and keep him.
After a few minutes, I began to think about how Rio had cared for me after our scene. He had seemed entirely unconcerned that I had been clingy, and had even used the word ‘needy’ and admitted that he was such himself when he submitted. I was seeing that now, with how he was holding my hand, petting my wrist absently. I cuddled him, squeezing him a bit, and he hummed happily, which made me happy. I was glad that I seemed to be doing this right. I had topped, of course, but I had never played at being the dom.
“Saint…” Rio murmured, breaking me out of my reverie.
“Hm? Okay? Do you need something?” I would need to get us into the shower pretty soon, we were messy, but I didn’t want to get him up before he was ready.
“I wish I could be yours,” he said softly. He nuzzled my hand again, running his lips along my knuckles, and I had no idea what to say. In the end, I was saved from having to because he cuddled my hand back under his chin and drifted off. I, on the other hand, stayed up for a long, long while as I pondered what that meant, and whether I wanted Rio to be mine, too.
***
The water stung my back as I let it pound over me, but I didn’t mind. Rio was in my arms in the shower, nuzzling into my neck and kissing me lazily. He certainly seemed to enjoy what I had done to him, and either he didn’t remember what he said or he was ignoring it, but nothing was said of anything more than what we were doing here. I wanted to bring it up, but I didn’t want to hear he hadn’t meant it, because before he had roused a short time ago, I had concluded that I wished he could be mine, too…
I just didn’t know if I would be able to do that. I had never had a proper partner. I’d had some bastards who had used me when I was exploring my submissive side, and once I decided to put that away, I had a couple of decent friends with benefits. After I got the director’s job at the shelter, I let them all know that I wasn’t up to play anymore. I didn’t want to risk anything that would open either me or the shelter up to any scrutiny or danger.
Rio was dangerous, I was completely sure, but not to any of the kids.
The biggest problem was he was dangerous to my heart. I hadn’t given it to anyone before and here he was taking it whether I wanted him to have it or not. Could I fulfill his needs the way he would want me to? And what of the distance? Once Ginny, Greene, and Fernandez were gone, he had a home in Colorado.
Not that I expected them to go away anytime soon. Suddenly the thought of Greene and Ginny’s influence causing me to fall in love with a man made me snort.
“Hm?” Rio asked from his spot, cuddled into my chest.
“Ginny and Greene made it so we are here together,” I said, and Rio lifted his head with a frown. “We wouldn’t have met and spent the time together without them. We wouldn’t be here.”
Rio was clearly not completely on the ball yet, because he simply continued to frown at me, and I laughed. “They’re both homophobic bigots, and they’re the reason I’m standing here with another man I just fucked the daylights out of.”
Rio’s grin grew slowly. “Makes me wanna send her a picture.” He kissed me. “I’ll be sure to thank them if I get the chance to talk to them.”
I chuckled. “Shiloah too, now he’s got Jackson. Shiloah and I should get together and we could all take a Christmas card shot for her.”
Rio’s smile changed, eyes widening just a bit as he processed the implications of what I’d just said without even thinking about it. He nodded slowly after a minute, as I all but struggled to breathe. “Sí,” he said softly before he put his head on my chest again.
We spent a long while in the shower, not getting out until the water began to go cold. I got out first and dried my face, wrapped the towel around my waist, then handed one to Rio. He dried his face and hair, too, and I smiled at the sight of him without his hair done. Usually, he styled it gelled with a gentle swoop, but now it was wet and floppy, covering his forehead towards his right eye. I brushed it aside with my fingers and kissed him, then turned away to go get dressed.
“Hm,” I heard him say from behind me. “Guess I followed your instructions.”
I laughed. “You did, and you certainly earned it, didn’t you?”
Rio rumbled appreciatively. “I did. You’re merciless once you get going.” His tone gave every indication of absolute approval. He came closer and I felt one hand brush my skin lightly. “Good thing I didn’t scratch you too hard. These aren’t bad, just light. Sting though, don’t they?”
“Yeah.” I huffed. “Didn’t expect to like it during but you did that the first time and I could have fucked you right then.”
I turned to see a mischievous smile. “Good to know…” he purred.
The rest of the day was quiet. We went back to bed and Rio arranged me partly on top of him so he could kiss me when he felt like it, but we could also watch TV. He seemed to be completely comfortable with how he felt, seeking what he needed from me and – perhaps even more mind blowing to me – apparently trusting that I would provide it. I kissed him and cuddled him, the operation a little strange but perfectly enjoyable.
We got up long enough to eat, sharing a pizza that had pepperoni, olives, and onion all over it, sausage on one half, and ghost peppers on the other. I tried it but it was too spicy for my taste, though it was actually pretty good. He laughed at me as I had several quick chugs of my Coke and I retaliated by putting a piece of sausage on his half. He laughed harder and tossed it back, wrapped his hand into my hair and kissed me. When it broke I followed his mouth and kissed back, and the spice of ghost pepper in his mouth was actually rather lovely.
After dinner we went back to bed, scrolling our phones as we lazed. It was another example of my grabbing onto a piece of peace while it lasted. I knew we couldn’t stay here long, and despite my earlier comment about Christmas photos of Shiloah and I with our partners, I didn’t actually think I would still have Rio by the time the holidays came. I wished I could, but I didn’t believe that I would.
We put on a movie eventually and began to kiss midway through. We missed the end because we were wrapped up in mutual blowjobs, but I didn’t care because what we were doing was better than any movie.
***
Rishi kept a close eye on Roland Cunningham, and also on Ken. He provided as much information on them as he could get, and Clay had several of the kids watching too. Rishi indicated that Clay had spoken to him about Cunningham and his suspicions, and they were organizing a small spy ring of sorts.
Young Mr. Greene says that if they”re going to spy on them, they”re going to spy back,Rishi said in a text to Rio.
I wasn’t surprised that Clay would do something like that, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t impressed. Rishi spoke highly of him, and I got a few texts from Clay too. He shared that Cunningham had been asking which of the kids had experienced certain things like physical abuse or modified versions of conversion therapy. Clay had told them all to give basic, generic answers and most of them were doing so. They were all smart and they had developed reasonably good instincts for who to trust and who not to trust through the unfortunate life experiences that had brought them to True Colors to begin with. Clay reported that he hadn’t heard Cunningham using blatantly anti-LGBTQA statements, but he did make several of the kids uncomfortable. I reiterated that they didn’t need to speak to someone if they didn’t want to, and if they got into trouble with the interim director, I would handle it. I had left instructions in no uncertain terms that even if there was unmistakable proof of an offense that would normally result in eviction, I was to be contacted to take care of it.
I texted Cas, who had met with the prosthetic specialist, and reported that he was hoping to get started with it as soon as possible. It seemed to me that it was really fast after the surgery but he was glad that they were being proactive and I was happy that he was good with it. Casimir was used to making his way when everyone else was telling him he couldn”t, I had no doubt that he would be on two legs before I knew it. I wondered if he would return to the force once he had completed his physical therapy and was adept with the prosthetic, but I wouldn”t say anything like that to him. I suspected that if he couldn”t go back on the beat, he would switch to social work. I hoped that he wouldn”t have to leave LA while he healed, I knew he wouldn”t want to do that at all.
Rio was watching me. I didn’t realize it at first, but he was definitely watching me. Once I noticed, I spent a few hours wondering what I had done, then decided that nothing was gained by guessing and I should put my big boy pants on and ask.
I waited until after dinner. Rio took the trash out and I took the five minutes alone to psych myself up. When he came back I was on my feet pacing, playing with a pencil between my fingers, and he knew something was up immediately. How he had come to read my tells was another thing I found that I liked about him. “Saint?”
“Has something been bothering you?” I asked, planting myself in front of him. “I noticed you’ve been…” I trailed off, realizing just then that ‘staring at me’ didn’t sound the best.
One brow went up and his body shifted. He had been about to cross his arms, I thought and then caught himself at the last moment. He shook his head instead. “No, nothing is bothering me. Is something bothering you?”
I shook my head too. “No. I just– Since we had the scene, you’ve been watching me like I’m about to– Well I don’t know. Did I screw something up? Was it the Christmas comment? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable especially when you were feeling like that after we–”
Rio’s hands on my shoulders cut me off. “No… I’ve been watching you because I’ve been worried about what I said. I know I said I wished I could keep you, which isn’t what we’re doing here. I know– I know this is temporary and I know you don’t do relationships, and I know you said that thing about Christmas but–” He did cross his arms then, drawing in, raising his defenses.
“That was a lot of mixed signals and hormones,” I agreed. “And there’s your job. We won’t be running forever, whatever the outcome. It has to end eventually.”
Rio nodded. “Sí… Then I’ll be going back to Colorado,” he said quietly.
I nodded slowly. “I know… And being happy now, knowing a broken heart is coming…” I swallowed. “Do you want to do that?”
Rio’s dark eyes searched my face, my body, then dropped to the floor. “Yes. I do want to do that.” He raised his eyes again. “Or maybe not the broken heart? I would be open to long distance, if you are? Or… or something. There is work in California if we knew we were serious, maybe–”
I stared at Rio. I hadn’t expected an offer like that and I had no idea what to say in return. His frown grew as he watched me and just before he spoke again I nodded. “Yes. Yes, we can try that. We’ll try.” I pulled him into my arms and kissed him deeply. I had someone who wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with them.