Chapter 10
The mood returned to a steady calm as the school day carried on as if my semi-breakdown hadn’t occurred that morning.
I was going to make the best of Meadow Grove, even if the place was completely boring so far.
“Geez!”
Spoke too soon.
I practically jumped back as I shut my locker and discovered Cameron and Vanity waiting for me.
Taking in each girl, I found Vanity to be disgruntled while Cameron appeared to be pinched as well.
“Hey,” I let out cautiously.
Cameron placed her hand on my shoulder. “Girl talk?”
Having no choice, I fell in step with her toward the girls’ restroom instead of my fourth period class.
Once inside, Cameron went and checked each stall before facing me, prepared to get down to business.
“O-kay, someone want to clue me in on why I’m about to miss English?” I asked.
Cameron faced her friend and her expression softened. “Ebram and Vanity are over.”
I studied the girl by the door. “No offense, but the guy seemed like a dick.”
“Not helping.” Cameron swatted at me. “He cheated on her…again.”
“What an asshole,” I sympathized. When we were at the bowling alley, I thought it’d been in my head about him checking out other girls. “Good riddance.”
Vanity’s shoulders began to shake as her face twisted in anguish. The floodgates were about to break. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh, V.” Cameron was quick to go and comfort her. “There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s him. He’s a pig.”
I watched as Vanity continued to sob over the boy. I could almost relate, though I’d never cried over Kevin.
“The first time I thought he was weak and had a slip, and the second time he was mad at me because I couldn’t make it to his game, and the third…” Vanity stopped to wipe at her eyes and nose. “I thought…I thought if I stuck it out, he’d see that I loved him and he’d change.”
For a moment, I wondered if I would’ve stayed if Kevin hadn’t abandoned me. At sixteen, maybe.
“I thought if Ebram saw that I was willing to be here and ‘hold him down’ that I was better than the other girls. I kept blaming them for his ‘slips’ instead of seeing it for what it was.” Vanity made her way over to the mirror and began to fix what was left of her appearance.
She looked a little dramatic with her runny mascara.
In her words, I saw myself the day I caught Kevin with that girl at the bar.
“Girls blame the other woman because they don’t want to believe that the person they love and put their trust into would ever betray them, or see something in someone that’s not them.
It’s easier to blame the outside source for corrupting their union.
” I hugged myself. “I’ve been in your shoes.
My first and only sorta just abandoned ship without even letting me know. ”
Vanity peered over at me, pouting as she reached out. “I’m sorry. God, guys are such assholes. I caught him and he didn’t even apologize.”
Maybe that was just the male way. They felt entitled to hurt you without so much as an I’m Sorry to pacify their wrongs.
“Fuck him,” I insisted as I linked hands with her. “You’re better off without him. In time you’ll be strong, trust me.”
I wasn’t sure why, but I felt a kinship with Vanity just then.
“I’d feel better if I ran him over with my car,” Vanity huffed.
Cameron blinked. “Well, let’s not catch a felony, now.”
I almost laughed. I could tell Vanity was beginning to feel better.
Somehow, it sorta felt good to cheer her up.
“You’ll get through this,” Cameron said as she rubbed her back. “And someday, an even better guy will come along.”
Vanity frowned. “I should’ve just gone for Dreux.”
“Dreux?” I found myself repeating.
Vanity shrugged as she primped her hair. “He asked me out last year.”
It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I could see why he’d like her. She was pretty, confident, and seemed fun to be around from what I saw in class. They’d be cute together I guessed.
Vanity faced me. “At the time I thought he was too…together. Shit, I mean, I always thought Aidan was boring too, but maybe that’s what I should try next. Aidan and Dreux are the good ones.”
Cameron gave a tightlipped smile that Vanity didn’t catch. “In the meantime, we can grab smoothies after school to celebrate your being single and independent.”
This they agreed on, with my opting out due to my grounded status.
With one last look in the mirror, Vanity fixed herself up. She adjusted her breasts, pushing them up more to expose a little cleavage in her tight black top. After touching her hair one last time she was ready to go.
“Let’s get to class, I know Ames is going to throw a fit about our tardy,” Vanity said as she went over to the door.
Cameron reached out and tapped my shoulder. “We’ll catch up, I gotta talk to Saylor about something.”
Vanity nodded, her eyes meeting mine. “Thanks for the support.”
I raised my fist a little. “Girl power, babe.”
God, was that cheesy or what?
I’d only been friends with guys back in LA, and despite our differences, I didn’t mind switching things up here in Meadow Grove. Neither Cameron nor Vanity seemed like the sanctimonious girls back home who judged me because I wasn’t like them. We could be different and still get on.
I hung back with Cameron, finding her nervous before me. “What’s up?”
“It’s just that… You know what, we’re going to be tardy.” Cameron forced out a light laugh as she attempted to wave the whole thing off. Something was up.
“No, spill, I don’t give a shit about Hemingway anyway.” I rolled my eyes at the thought of suffering through more of his work.
Cameron chewed on her lip as she examined a ring on her ring finger. It held a gold band with a tiny solitaire stone. “People look at me and Aidan and think we’ve got this perfect romance.”
“Don’t you?” I wondered.
Cameron frowned sheepishly. “He’s amazing, and I love him to bits.”
“But?”
“How did you know when you were sure about…you know, sex,” she whispered scandalously.
Oh, a virgin.
With Kevin, we weren’t in love or super romantic. “I didn’t really think about it,” I admitted. “I really liked him, and it kinda just happened. You know when you know, I guess.”
Cameron sighed, sweeping a stray hair behind her ear. “Lately, he’s been hinting that he wants to take things there. We’ve been together for a while, and he swears he loves me. I…I’m not ready yet. I love Aidan, and I get that he has needs—”
I felt my face scrunch up. “Fuck his needs, it’s your body.”
Cameron blushed. “I know, it’s just…”
“Just nothing. If you’re not ready, that’s that. Tell him to go piss off.”
She wouldn’t look at me. “I wish I could be like you, Saylor. All confident and what not.”
“It’s not about confidence. It’s about your right. If Aidan can’t wait and understand you’re not ready, then drop him. His needs aren’t more important than you.”
Cameron didn’t like the idea of dumping her boyfriend. “It’s not a huge thing. It just comes up sometimes.”
“I’m holding true to what I said,” I told her with a shrug. “Don’t let him guilt you into giving up your virginity. He can go shove his dick through a shredder if he wants to stick it somewhere so bad.”
Cameron’s cheeks inflamed as she began to laugh. “Saylor!”
“I’m serious.” I suddenly thought of Bonham and how he was totally into her.
Somehow, I knew he’d never pressure her for sex either.
We’d been drunk and high that night at his place, and he didn’t try anything.
He even went as far as to sleep elsewhere when I passed out.
Guys like Bonham got a bad rep because of his reckless deeds, but where it counted, he wasn’t bad at all.
Cameron leaned into me for support as we headed for the exit. “Thanks, Saylor. You really know how to put things into perspective.”
This was all very new to me, being this friendly girl who gave advice and nurtured those who were down. The weird thing was, it actually felt good to be nice.
“No problem,” I said.
“My parents, they’re ideal, you know? My dad’s always had this rock star fantasy, and no matter what, my mom’s always been supportive.
My dad looks at my mom like she’s the moon and the stars, and my mom is insanely protective of my dad.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen them fight,” Cameron said.
“Even when I’m wrong, they don’t get too mad.
They’re there for me to help me. I guess I want that, and I know Aidan’s capable.
I just need a little more time before I’m sure about sex. ”
Her parents sounded old school, or storybook. A part of me wondered what my own parents were like when they were together.
It was while talking to Cameron that I realized something that should’ve been obvious.
I’d been ungrateful—with all of it. With my mother for practically my whole life, and maybe even with Scott.
Maybe I would apologize for staying out all night, but then, I wasn’t so sure.
I could act all cool and careless, but it gnawed at me: why hadn’t he ever been there, and why was he here now?
As I walked with Cameron through the empty hallway for class, I attempted to bury these questions that kept plaguing me as I consoled who was probably my first friend in town.
To my dismay, I found that I’d forgotten my lunch at home when my lunch period came around.
I didn’t too much care for the meal of the day: chicken patty with french fries.
Instead, I grabbed a helping of macaroni and cheese before carrying my tray over to the condiment and utensil stand.
I was just grabbing a couple packets of hot sauce when Dreux came over.
“Hey,” he said to me, trying to be friendly.
“ ’Sup,” I responded as I grabbed a napkin.
“What’s the hot sauce for?” Dreux questioned as he observed my tray.
“My mac and cheese.”
He frowned in disgust. “Gross.”
“Don’t judge.” Cameron swooped by to grab a plastic fork. “You eat ketchup on your fish.”
Dreux’s mouth hung open. “I told you that in confidence.”
Cameron shrugged, smirking as he walked off.
“Freckled freak,” I joked as I gathered my tray.
Cameron chuckled. “We all have our quirks, Saylor.”
Usually I sat with Cameron at lunch, despite my wanting to be alone, but today I marched over to Bonham’s table of misfits and made myself comfortable.
He was lounging back in his seat, eating a french fry and carrying a conversation with Bug and their friend Sloan.
Bonham tipped his head toward me in a greeting. “Afternoon.”
“What’s the topic of conversation?” I asked as I opened my hot sauce and squirted it over my mac and cheese.
Bonham kinked up his nose at my meal. “Who’s the most notorious serial killer?”
“Ah, Bundy all the way,” I answered.
Sloan made a show to roll his eyes. “So cliché.”
I gave him the finger and nodded toward Bonham. “You?”
“Elizabeth Báthory,” he said with ease. “All those virgins, talk about femme fatale.”
“That’s rumored to be bullshit,” I noted.
Bonham smirked. “I say it’s not.”
Bug went next, citing, “Charles Manson.”
Bonham scowled. “He didn’t even physically do anything.”
“Doesn’t matter, man. He influenced those murders. The guy was a god.”
As dark as the conversation was, it was nice to know I wasn’t the only one intrigued by serial killer documentaries.
Half a beat later, Dreux came by, stopping at my side. “Meet me at my car after school, okay? We’ll head straight to my mom’s shop.”
I was going to dread this, I was sure. “Looking forward to it.”
Dreux offered a small smile. “It won’t be so bad.”
He squeezed my shoulder before attempting to leave. It was only after he had his back turned to go that I realized how silent my table had gotten.
Bonham sat back coolly. “Hey, Dreux?”
Dreux regarded him curiously.
“Don’t ever walk over to my table and not speak to me again, okay?” It was a veiled threat, one that Dreux was smart enough to catch on to.
Dreux didn’t react, though. With a grimace on his face, he turned on his heel and stalked off.
I faced Bonham. “What the hell’s up with you two?”
Bonham shrugged. “Ask the boy scout.”
I heaved a sigh, wondering just when I’d unravel the mystery that had them at odds.
As I dug into my mac and cheese, I let it go and focused on having lunch with the misfits before me.