Chapter 4 #2
Jeremy had grown up with his parents together. He had been off to college by the time that Eleanor and Brian had split up. Indeed, one of the main reasons that Eleanor had felt empowered to move away from Indianapolis and start a new life had been because her son was already out of the house.
How would he react to her life separate from that of his father? She’d even gone back to using her maiden name. Would Jeremy feel like that was a rejection, since they didn’t have the same last name any longer?
And, most of all, she worried what he would think about Garrett.
In the absence of all other considerations, Eleanor thought that her boyfriend and her son would probably get along.
But even grown up, mature kids were allowed to have feelings about their parents getting divorced, and Jeremy had been so understanding this past year that Eleanor figured he was overdue for an emotional reaction.
Once she started worrying, she found that she couldn’t stop.
Because there was Garrett’s perspective to consider too.
He only knew the post-divorce version of Eleanor, not the part of her that had parented a child.
It was all part of her, but she felt suddenly vulnerable about showing that part to the man she loved.
What would happen if Garrett and Jeremy didn’t get along?
She still didn’t have an answer for that question when her friends started filtering in for that night’s meeting.
Eleanor pushed her worries away, since she wasn’t ready to discuss them yet.
She preferred to think through this a little more before she tried to put it into words, not that she doubted her friends’ ability to comfort her.
She just wanted to know what she thought before seeking others’ input.
The bookstore hummed with cheerful conversation as Eleanor’s friends trickled in.
Miriam arrived first, bringing with her a few bottles of wine and a box of chocolates that she’d purchased from a new candy store that had opened a few towns away.
Eleanor oohed over the selection, as did Diana, who arrived only a few minutes after Miriam.
“Oh, man, these make my contributions look like garbage,” Diana moaned around a mouthful of chocolate.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Eleanor scoffed as she plated Diana’s snack, which was pretzel twists drizzled with chocolate and sprinkled with flecks of freeze-dried raspberries. “These look incredible.”
“I might have purchased more chocolates than we needed,” Miriam admitted, looking at the box a little sheepishly. “It was just so cute in there that I got overwhelmed. Next thing I knew, I had chosen about a billion.”
“I’m sorry,” Eleanor said teasingly, looking between the two. “But who are you and what have you done with my friends? Because the real Diana and Miriam would know that there’s no such thing as too much chocolate.”
“You’ve got that right!” Cadence called as she entered the store, quickly closing the door against the gust of wind that tried to follow her inside. “I don’t know what we’re talking about, but I will always co-sign ‘never too much chocolate.’”
Fortunately for their sugar intake, Cadence had brought something a little more savory: mini quiches with potato and sage inside. Winnie too, when she arrived a little later, had something on the saltier side of the spectrum. She produced a charcuterie board.
“I know I’ve done this one before,” she said, scrunching her nose apologetically. “But I got pulled in to run a tour this afternoon, so I didn’t have time to prepare anything more complicated.”
June, too, was sheepish about her hummus and crudité.
“Okay, new rule, people,” Eleanor said sternly. “No apologizing when you bring snacks. Snacks are good. We do not have a hierarchy of snacks.”
“Sorry, Mom,” Cadence said teasingly, which made Eleanor smile. Maybe her “mom mode” wasn’t so rusty, after all. “We’ll be good. We’ll talk about the book. So, team.” She clapped her hands. “Team Jared or Team Derek?”
The book club ended up being unusually divided when it came to choosing between the two potential love interests. They engaged in merry debate that had the whole group laughing.
The whole group, Eleanor noticed after a moment, except for Miriam.
“Are you okay, honey?” Eleanor asked, reaching out to pat her friend’s hand gently.
Miriam smiled, but there was a sadness to it.
“Oh, yes,” she said. “I just keep thinking about the part where the heroine is reflecting on her past, when she thinks about all the mistakes with her ex. And how she can still remember it all with fondness, no matter those mistakes. It was just… lovely. And a little sad.”
Everyone was listening quietly to Miriam, as this was something of a more sedate comment than the ones she usually made. Miriam was a classic spitfire, always more prone to laughter than tears.
When Miriam stopped talking, she gave them all a smile that was a little bit more like her regular self.
“A little maudlin for me, I grant you,” she said with a chuckle. “I guess I’m still just thinking about those photos I found of Harold when I was going through my attic at the end of last year.”
Harold was Miriam’s late husband, and though he had passed away many years prior, Eleanor knew that her older friend still missed him dearly. Finding the old photographs of the two of them had to have been bittersweet for Miriam.
“Grief really sneaks up on you, huh?” June asked with a rueful shake of her head. Cadence, who was sitting closest to June, reached out and grabbed her hand, her pose a mirror of the one that Eleanor had adopted toward Miriam.
“Yeah, who decided that was okay?” Miriam quipped back.
Then she let out a little sigh, tilting her head to one side.
“I know he would’ve wanted me to move on, but I feel like I’ve been a bit stuck in the past. Lately I’ve been thinking, though.
I’m not getting any younger, and I… I suppose I wouldn’t mind having someone in my life again.
Someone to share those little moments with, you know? To share life with.”
All of the ladies shared a look, and Eleanor gave Miriam’s hand a little squeeze. “I think Harold would be very proud of you. You’re an amazing woman, and if you want to get back out there? Well, any man would be lucky to have you.”
Diana and June nodded emphatically as Cadence said, “Hear, hear.”
The mood soon shifted back to their regular, cheerful debates about the content of the book, but Eleanor didn’t forget the wistfulness in Miriam’s expression as she thought about the love whom she had lost. Eleanor was strongly of the opinion that it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before, but seeing Miriam’s emotions still affected her.
It reminded her that she was so, so lucky to have found love again in her life. And that reminded her to be grateful for everything she’d had.
She would figure out matters between Garrett and Jeremy. Her life was full of love, and she would find a way to keep it that way. It would all be just fine.
Even if there was a little bit of worry still tugging at the back of her brain…