Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
June hung up the phone with a wince and turned to face her son.
“Okay, change of plans, buddy,” she said. “Miriam has a cold, so you and I are hosting our guest together.”
“Cool,” Benjamin said, not even bothering to look up from his Rubix cube.
June had been astonished when her son had come home from school claiming that the “spinny pattern boxes” were all the rage among his classmates, and could he please, please, please have one?
It had turned out that June had found one kicking around in Keith’s old things, and Benjamin was enamored with the item, not just because of its popularity, but because it provided a connection to his father.
Benjamin hadn’t solved the thing yet, but that hadn’t stopped him from spending hours with the toy. Apparently classics really did endure.
Normally June, like any parent, was thrilled to have her son so engaged in something that didn’t involve screens, but right now she needed his attention.
“Benjamin,” she said, pausing until he tore his eyes from the brightly colored cube. “The person who is coming over is named Levi Hawkins.”
“Oh yeah,” he said, his attention already returning to the cube. “The guy from the video.”
“Yes, exactly,” June said, then hesitated. She wasn’t entirely certain how she should address the idea that she was dating with her son. Should she bring it up at all? Was it crazy of her not to cancel with Levi when her babysitter fell through?
She was mostly relieved that Benjamin would be staying home with her tonight, although of course she felt bad that Miriam had a case of the sniffles.
She just didn’t feel good about leaving him after the incident the other day, even though she knew, of course, that it wasn’t something Miriam could control—or even something that June herself would be able to prevent, if she had been there.
Maternal instinct demanded that she clutch Benjamin close, at least for a little while. And maybe that meant she should have put off dinner.
But she didn’t want to. And Benjamin didn’t seem traumatized by Levi coming over, at least if the way he stuck out his tongue in concentration while he played his game was any indication. He didn’t even seem to realize that there was anything romantic about their association.
Or, at least that was what June told herself until, not even looking at her, Benjamin said, “Is Levi your boyfriend?”
June had been grabbing a bag of lentils to make a diabetic- and kid-friendly lentil Sloppy Joe recipe…
and nearly dropped the whole thing, which would have made quite a mess to clean up.
Fortunately, she saved it in just the nick of time, then placed it calmly on the counter before turning to face Benjamin.
“No,” she said, which she reasoned was true, even if it did sort of sidestep the spirit of the question he was asking. “No, he’s a new friend.”
“Oh,” Benjamin said, still in that totally unbothered way that kids had when talking about something that shook their parents to the core. “That’s too bad.”
June tried to match his tone.
“Why is that?”
Now, Benjamin put down his toy and gave June an intense look.
“Do you know Marjorie from my class? Her mom got a boyfriend, and they went to the trampoline park. I want to go to the trampoline park.” His intensity ratcheted up, as June struggled not to laugh. “Trampoline parks are so cool.”
“You and I could go to the trampoline park together,” she suggested.
He looked uncertain. “I don’t know, Mommy. I think we’ll have to wait until you get a boyfriend.”
“We’ll revisit it,” June said, because if she tried to break down this kid logic right now, she would burst out laughing, and she didn’t want her son to think she was laughing at him.
Besides, if she turned her back and started to cook, she could chuckle to herself, as long as she did so quietly.
She had the lentils simmering in their requisite spices when the doorbell rang.
June quickly put a lid on the food, checked her hair in the hallway mirror, decided it was as good as it was going to get in the next few minutes, and opened the door to find Levi standing there with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
His face lit up when he saw her.
“I am very sorry,” she said.
His face fell.
“You have to cancel?” he asked, sounding disappointed but not judgmental.
“No!” His face lifted again. “No, I just… couldn’t get a babysitter. So it’s not just you and me for dinner. It’s you and me and—”
“Hi! I’m Benjamin!”
Like most children of his age, Benjamin had no sense of personal space when it came to his mother, so he wrapped himself around June’s legs from behind and peeked his head around her hip to grin a gap-toothed smile up at Levi.
“Hello, Benjamin,” Levi said, offering his hand to shake. “I’m Levi. I’m not sure if you remember me driving your mom home the other day when you weren’t feeling well.”
“No, I wasn’t paying attention that day,” Benjamin said without a hint of self-consciousness. “But I remember you from when my mommy and Cadence watched a video of you on the internet.”
June’s face went so hot that she was certain she looked like a stop sign. Levi, meanwhile, looked delighted.
“Didn’t you come to this town specifically so people would stop gawking at you?” she demanded to distract from the flutter in her stomach she got when he beamed at her.
Levi’s cheerful expression didn’t so much as flicker. “That is super different, and I think you know that,” he said. “Did you watch a lot of videos?”
“Not that many,” she grumbled. This was only partially true, depending on someone’s definition of a lot.
“This is already an awesome evening,” Levi said, splitting the sunshine of his smile between mother and son. “Benjamin, you seem also very awesome. It is a huge pleasure to finally meet you for real.”
“Thanks!” Benjamin said brightly. “Do you like trains?”
Levi barely blinked at this non sequitur. “I do.”
“Do you want to see my trains?”
“Yes, definitely.”
Benjamin lunged for Levi’s hand and dragged him to the living room, where he kept his model train set.
June paused long enough to exchange a meaningful glance with Levi, just to confirm that he was truly all right with their date getting diverted this way, then ducked briefly into the kitchen to make sure that dinner wasn’t burning.
By the time she made it back to the living room, Levi and Benjamin had already set up a large section of tracks and were carefully positioning trees and signs to create their own little town.
When June heard them talking as they worked, she paused in the doorway to listen.
“Did my mom tell you that I have diabetes?” Benjamin asked as he handed Levi a bridge piece.
Levi’s hands paused only briefly before he kept at their task.
“She did,” he said calmly, keeping his attention on his task.
“I didn’t have it before,” Benjamin continued.
He didn’t sound particularly upset, but June listened keenly for any signs that he was putting on a brave face.
It was one of the things she worried about most, that her son was hiding his true feelings for her benefit.
“But I have it now. And I’m going to always have it. That’s what my doctor says.”
Levi hummed thoughtfully. “It’s weird how that can happen, isn’t it? That something can be true not before, but then stay true forever?”
Benjamin’s eyes went wide as though Levi had said something wonderfully profound.
“Yeah,” he agreed breathlessly. “It’s so weird. But I’m kind of glad that we know now, because I felt really sick a lot before my doctor figured out that it was because my body gets confused by sugar. Now, I don’t feel sick as much.” He paused. “I do miss cookies, though.”
“That makes a lot of sense,” Levi said. “Do you think it’s a good trade, though? Feeling good but not getting cookies?”
Benjamin paused, thinking this over.
“Yeah, I guess so,” he said. Then, more brightly, he added, “Also, I can have special cookies that they make for kids with diabetes. They’re not as good, but they’re still pretty good.”
“That’s a pretty impressive skill you’ve got there,” Levi praised.
Benjamin scrunched his nose at Levi, who was still diligently focusing on the train, even though he’d moved the same toy tree three times. “Eating cookies?”
Levi laughed, a friendly sound, not a mocking one. “Well, I’d have to see how good you are at that before I can judge,” he said. “But no, I meant looking on the bright side. That’s really impressive, especially for someone your age.”
Benjamin’s happiness at this praise was evident even without June being able to see his face, and she felt a pang at the sight of the way her son soaked up this positive attention from an older man.
She did the best she could with her son, and she didn’t doubt her capabilities as a mother.
But Benjamin had spent too long without a father figure in his life.
It made sense that he was latching on to Levi at the first chance.
June returned to the kitchen, confident that Benjamin and Levi would be fine playing for a little while longer. She needed a moment to sort through her feelings too.
If her eyes prickled with tears as she worked on dinner, she blamed it on the onions she was chopping.
Deep down though, she didn’t believe that lie. She was wonderfully touched by the kind, open-hearted way that Levi had listened to Benjamin’s concerns, the way he had validated Benjamin’s worries and praised his resilience.
But…
But June had already known that there was no real future between her and Levi, not when his future was so up in the air and hers needed to be planted firmly in Magnolia Shore’s soil.
And that meant that she couldn’t afford to let her son get attached to him.
Tonight was one thing. Tonight was just dinner.
But anything further, and Benjamin’s heart would be at risk.