Chapter 20 #2
“I promise that I will eat that banana pudding with enough excitement to merit your efforts,” she said, meaning it.
“Oh, I’m not worried about that,” he said. “Have you had banana pudding? It’s the greatest food on earth, probably. But I made everything sugar-free, so if it tastes weird, that’s not because I am a bad cook.”
“You seem very worried about me thinking you’re a good cook,” she observed. “Do you think this is my criteria for saying yes to a date with you? Because, I have to say… you thinking to make a sugar-free dessert to be safe for Benjamin means way more.”
The whole meal was actually diabetic-friendly, she realized. Yes, there were sandwiches, and bread was something that was more of an ‘in moderation’ food than ‘however much you want’ food for diabetics, but the rest of it was all the kinds of things that she bought to feed Benjamin on a normal day.
But Levi was looking at her as though all this effort was no big deal.
“I just think you’re great, June,” he said, as though it was as simple as that. “I just want to show you that.”
And maybe it was that easy. It felt easy, at least for the next little while, as they snacked and chatted and watched Benjamin play.
He darted over to eat a bite of food every now and again before running back to his games, and his smile when he found out that he could have some of the dessert Levi had brought practically brought tears to June’s eyes.
They lingered at the park long enough that Benjamin played himself out, something June hadn’t even realized was possible. Eventually though, he retreated to the blanket, curled up next to June, and fell right asleep.
“You might be a sorcerer,” June told Levi. “He wasn’t even a good napper when he was little, let alone now.”
Levi chuckled. He looked fond when he gazed at Benjamin, and June’s heart lurched.
“We should have stuck a pedometer on him before we let him loose,” Levi joked. “I’m crazy curious to see how far he ran during all that. My bet is on, I don’t know, a hundred miles?”
“At least,” June teased back, running her fingers gently through her son’s hair.
There was a comfortable quiet between them for a while, as they all basked in the warm sun that cut through the lingering winter chill.
“You know,” Levi observed after a while, tapping the toe of his boot lightly against the side of June’s sneaker to get her attention without waking Benjamin. “I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you look so relaxed. Is that okay to say?”
The smile on her face felt contented and calm.
“You know,” she said, still stroking Benjamin’s hair lightly, “I feel better. I had this moment earlier when everything with Benjamin’s diagnosis still felt so huge, like this obstacle I couldn’t overcome.
But then instead of that panic building and staying with me for days, I just breathed through it.
” She looked at Levi squarely. He deserved to know how much she meant her next words, especially after she’d pushed him away.
“You have helped me with that. Recording that song with you, yeah, but also just… this.”
She waved an arm to encompass their picnic and the quiet time they were enjoying together.
“I will confess that sometimes I still have to pinch myself to ask if it’s all real,” she said with a laugh.
“I mean, how is it possible that you really want me to sing with you? And not just out of pity? How is it possible that you, with all your handsomeness and talent and cool job, actually like me, June Caldwell, small town mom?”
Levi’s lips had tipped up when June had complimented him, but that smile disappeared into a more thoughtful look when she admitted her self-doubt.
“You have to know,” he said, reaching out to hold her free hand in his. They’d shed their gloves to eat, so now she could feel the warmth of his fingers, and the calluses he’d earned from years of playing guitar. This actually made her feel even more like a blushing maid from a historical romance.
“You have to know,” he repeated, seemingly choosing his words carefully, “that that’s not how I see you.
Like, at all. I mean, yes, you’re a mom, and yes, you live in a small town.
But singing with you made me feel the way music is supposed to make me feel.
Your voice makes me feel the way music is supposed to make me feel.
And that’s a rare gift, June. It’s special. ”
She couldn’t quite find words around the lump in her throat.
“But it’s more than that,” he went on, his eyes burning with sincerity.
“Being around you… it makes me feel at home. And I knew that I wasn’t feeling the right way about my career any longer.
But I don’t think I knew that I didn’t feel…
at home. In Nashville. In my life. And you gave me that back. And it is such a gift.”
“Levi,” she murmured, blinking back tears at his kindness.
But he wasn’t finished.
“And you have the greatest kid, June,” he said, shaking his head as though he couldn’t even believe it. “And you make me laugh. And I can’t get you out of my head, and I don’t want to.”
“Don’t make me cry in the park,” she said wetly.
He smiled gently. “Yeah, your eyes will freeze shut,” he teased, providing some much-needed levity.
She laughed. “We’ll harden you up to the forces of winter eventually,” she promised.
“I look forward to it.” Then his expression grew more playful. “Want to try the swings? Benjamin made them look really fun.”
Now that he mentioned it… that did sound fun.
She tried to ask Benjamin if he wanted to join them, but he grumbled at her, rolled over, and went back to sleep. The swings were within clear distance of the picnic blanket, so she just tucked the edges around her son and she and Levi skipped over to the swing set.
Well, June skipped. Levi did what he seemed to think was skipping but definitely was not.
By the time they made it to the swings, June could barely stand she was laughing so hard.
“How are you so bad at that?” she asked as she sank down onto the cold plastic seat. Oof, these were narrower than she’d remembered, and she had to shift a few times to get comfortable.
“Don’t kick a man when he’s down, June,” he chided. “I have other talents.”
“He can’t skip, he claims he can cook…” Her words trailed off in a laugh as he pushed her swing and she grabbed for the chains. Her legs started to pump, muscle memory kicking in, as he gave her a few more pushes.
For just those few moments, she felt like a kid again. It felt… free. Simple. Wonderful.
And then Levi crossed to the front of her swing and caught the chains, bringing her to a halt.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” he said.
“You stopped my swing,” she observed.
“I did,” he agreed. “Mostly because you can’t swing and do this at the same time.”
And then he bent down and kissed her.
June didn’t feel like a little kid any longer. She felt like a woman in her prime, with a whole lot of life left to live.
But that felt pretty darn wonderful too.