Chapter 18 - Connor #3
When the video ends, I tap replay, then I tap replay again. I watch it over and over and wonder if this is the first time I’ve seen myself like this. Vulnerable and sensual.
I open mine and Mom’s text thread, compelled to confess what all I’ve been keeping from her and Dad during our daily chats. That things have changed. That I’ve changed.
But I can’t.
I can’t even text Tommy and confess the lie I told him earlier today.
After peeking to make sure Thalia’s still out cold, I slip out of bed and find my way to the bathroom in the dark, then to Dane’s bedroom door. He answers after a soft series of taps on the wood and wearing only a pair of basketball shorts.
“Hey,” I whisper.
He’s already taking my hand and guiding me past the threshold. He doesn’t ask me to explain, only shuts and locks the door, takes my face into his hands and murmurs, “Come here,” before kissing me the way I’m growing accustomed to. Like a drug fusing with my body chemistry.
A game left paused on Dane’s PC monitor is the only semblance of light in the room when we fall onto his bed together. Kissing, groping, rolling each other over, and tugging down each other’s shorts.
We don’t speak. My mouth is too busy and my mind too focused.
My body is too in-the-moment, supplicating to Dane’s every whim.
He presses me onto my back and pushes my shirt up under my pits, mouth on my nipple while jerking my cock.
Despite my earlier orgasm, my cock swells quickly.
I grab Dane’s hand and roll him onto his back.
After whipping my shirt off, I hunker down and find Dane’s erection with my mouth.
I’m hungry and uncontrolled, desperate to pleasure him as well as he did me, with rhythmic strokes as deep as my throat can handle.
Dane’s fingers in my hair remind me to slow down—to savor his cock the way I savored his tongue in that diner booth.
The slower I go, the more in tune I am to Dane’s responses.
The subtle quiver in his thigh, the tremble in his fingertips, and his steady breaths that almost sound like moans.
I kiss the entirety of him, from the salted head down to the furry base, before painting him with my tongue.
I lick a fresh bead of pre-cum from his tip, then close my lips around him.
Keeping my mouth wide enough and my throat lax enough gives me the most trouble, but I ease my way down methodically, keeping track of how far I make it before I gag.
Back in high school, cocksucker was the ultimate insult. Gay was whatever, but cocksucker was as harsh as it comes, reserved for the worst of the worst. I think about that now as I kiss my way up Dane’s body to whisper in his ear how delicious he tastes.
His head turns, and our mouths are back together.
He grabs my hips and fits me on top of him, hip to hip.
Shifting. Grinding. Trading sweat and breath and pleasure while our cocks grow slippery between our bodies.
His arms sling around me, holding my head and my ass.
I brace my elbows on the mattress, hugging his shoulders and humping him like we’re fucking.
Dane’s fingers sink into my flesh, and he rolls us over with a quick buck of his hips.
“Put your legs around me,” he murmurs.
I become vulnerable in this new position. On my back, legs spread and hooked around Dane’s hips. When Dane’s cock slips down along my ass crack, I flinch.
“This is how I’ll fuck you one day,” Dane says, humid breath tickling my face. “Just like this. So I can look into your eyes.”
Fresh anxiety rushes through me, swelling my cock to a desperate strength and forcing more pre-cum from my tip.
“Fuck,” I whimper. “I wanna come so bad.”
“Be honest, puppy. Do you like it when I play with your ass?”
“Yes.”
“Turn over.”
Those two hard-whispered words trigger my eager obedience. As soon as I have the breadth, I flip onto my chest and stick my ass in the air.
Big hands spread my cheeks apart. A dribble of fluid touches my hole a moment before Dane’s tongue draws swirls into my flesh.
He eats me the way he kisses me, tender and devouring, while he pays my cock featherlight strokes.
Saliva drips down my balls. I grab Dane’s pillow and give it the moans I can’t choke back.
I come amid a full body convulsion—curled toes, tight muscles, and cum spurting out of me through torrents of euphoria. I’m still shaking when Dane maneuvers me onto my back.
He sits between my thighs, jerking himself with intention. I replace his hand with mine, rolling his foreskin up and down until his hard breaths turn to grunts, and he unloads all over my cock and pelvis. A glob reaches my navel. The last of it dribbles onto my thumb.
We don’t clean up.
Dane flops beside me, kisses my head, then drapes an arm across my belly and a leg across my thigh.
I roll onto my side and wrap my limbs around him, stamping him with his own release.
Heads on the same pillow, he kisses my nose while I stroke the expanse of his back.
I rub his ass, too, and wonder if Dane could ever trust me with it after what happened to him in high school.
I nuzzle my face against Dane’s, grazing my lips across his when I begrudgingly murmur, “I have to go back.”
“No.” Dane pulls me in tighter, hugging me stronger. “Stay.”
“I can’t.”
“If I make your dick hard again, you have to stay.”
“I don’t think I can do that either.”
Cheek to cheek, I feel Dane’s quiet moan vibrating inside me. “Wanna bet?”
“You know, when I break up with her, I won’t be able to stay. I’ll have to leave. Crash with Margot or something. I won’t be able to sleep with you.”
His hold loosens, head resting back onto the pillow. The whites of his eyes stare into me with indiscernible emotion. “What if we get a place together, just the two of us?”
“Really?” The initial flutter in my chest is dashed by logical thought. “Apartments are expensive down here.”
“Well, ya know, a one-bedroom would be cheaper than a two-bedroom. A studio would be even cheaper. Or we could rent a room in one of those queer communal houses with all the flags out front. We’d only need someplace to sleep, fuck, and play video games.
The rest of the time, we’ll be out. School, soccer, the stupid gym, seeing movies, going skating, teaching you how to swim, teaching you how to surf… ”
I’ve been grinning since “sleep, fuck, and play video games,” but there are nerves behind my excitement too.
As appealing as the fantasy is, what if I don’t like being fucked?
Would that be a deal-breaker? I think I could survive a relationship without fucking so long as we’re having some kind of sex. Like this kind of sex.
Wait…
A relationship.
That’s what a place together is. A place to be together. Dane’s not just talking about sleeping, fucking, and playing video games. He’s talking about us being…boyfriends.
“What do you think?” Dane asks.
I breathe in and try not to overthink. “I think that sounds amazing.”
He sparkles in the dark before his long body flops me over and his wet mouth goes for my tongue.
Our bodies quickly resume their earlier workout, and while I’m not sure it’s the sort of workout that’s going to help Dane win his match on Saturday, it might be the sort to get me hard twice in one night.