Chapter 28 Dane #2
We walk hand-in-hand through the neighborhood that raised my boyfriend, and I inhale each breath like it’s all brand new. We don’t say much, but I peek at Connor from time to time to find a peaceful smile on his face. Not blissful like he was, but happy still, I hope.
“Hey.” I bump my shoulder against his until he points that smile at me. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? I mean it. I’m locked in.”
Squeezing my hand, he says, “I’m locked in too.”
“And I think you’re right about Sacramento. The air does taste different.”
“Not so salty, right?”
I stop him in the middle of the sidewalk, put my free hand behind his head, and kiss him under a starry sky.
It takes until Tuesday for Lori to show up at the Whitlock’s house, asking if I’m around. I learn she’s waiting for me in the foyer when Mrs. Whitlock announces it through Connor’s bedroom door, startling our mouths apart.
“What?!” Connor hollers toward his door while his hand still hugs my cock.
“Dane’s mother is here to see him!” Mrs. Whitlock’s voice stuns my heart and shrinks my dick despite Connor’s warming touch.
I back out of his hold and scoot off his creaky bed. “I’ll be down in a sec!” I answer Mrs. Whitlock while searching frantically for my pants.
It isn’t until Connor is standing before me, holding my shoulders and asking if I’m okay with this, that I realize I don’t have to be.
Shit, why is she even here?
Because my perfect boyfriend said I was staying with him, and of course Lori knows where Connor’s folks live, since their kids used to date.
Actually, their kids are still dating, just swapped one Calvo out for the other.
I won’t be able to give Connor’s parents any grandkids, but I can change a lightbulb without a ladder, and that seems to please Mrs. Whitlock enough.
I can tell Lori to leave, or even ask Mrs. Whitlock to do it for me.
Talk about embarrassing. I can see if Connor will get rid of her, but I don’t want all my problems becoming his problems too.
Even if I need him just as much as he needs me, there are certain things a man ought to handle on his own.
“I’ll be fine,” I say. “Just gonna see what she wants and get rid of her.”
“Do you want me to come with you? You don’t have to be alone with her if you don’t want.”
“Don’t worry.” I kiss his pretty head then dress in clothes that are half-mine and half-Connor’s.
Lori’s voice mixes with the voices of Connor’s folks, chatting in the entryway about this or that while I creep down the stairs, careful not to make the boards squeak under my shoes.
It harkens memories of old times when Lori would pick me up from playdates gone awry or sleepovers that ended early, but in all those memories, the parents never spoke so friendly to her.
I could always tell how badly I fucked up from how quiet Lori was on the drive home.
Sometimes I’d kick the back of her seat just to hear her speak, even if it was only to shout, “Do you want me to run us off the road, Dane?! Is that what you’re trying to do? !”
Eventually, my presence becomes known, and three sets of eyes fall on me. It’s hard to meet any of them.
“Hi, Dane,” Lori says.
“‘Sup?” I answer, because what the fuck else is there to say?
“Have you eaten yet? I thought maybe we could go somewhere together and…” Her voice trails off, quickly filled by Mrs. Whitlock announcing I haven’t had dinner yet.
“Um…” My thoughts fail as I scratch at the back of my neck. Quick clomping steps behind me result in Connor joining me at the base of the stairs, his hand on my back.
“We were sorta making plans to go see a movie,” he blurts out, a lie so forced and adorable I can’t help but smile.
“Connor,” his mom says, “they have movie theaters in San Diego. Dane should visit with his mother while he’s up here.”
The tension coming off Connor is hot, but he doesn’t speak.
His parents don’t know much about my family, and I’m content to keep it that way.
Lord knows it would only paint me in a worse light.
I know Connor would love to tell his parents everything, because that’s what good sons do, but he’s been keeping my family drama hushed for my benefit.
Finally, I find some words in my thick skull. “I’m not that hungry. But…maybe coffee, or something?”
When I take a chance on eye contact, I find Lori smiling like I’ve made her day. “Coffee sounds great.”
I leave the house with her, where a nippy chill awaits, and Lori asks if I have a coat. With my hands shoved into the front pocket of Connor’s Sac State sweatshirt, I tell her I'll be fine.
It’s a few miles’ drive to the coffee shop Lori has in mind.
We talk about the weather here, about the weather in San Diego, and speculate on how long it’ll be until Yosemite sees snow.
It’s awkward and excruciating, and I keep my eyes glued to the windshield, tracking our route in case I need to call Connor to pick me up.
When Lori’s all out of things to say about the weather, she asks how tall I am now. I’ve never been less enthusiastic to answer that question in my life.
At the coffee shop, I order an iced coffee because, while it’s cold as shit outside, it’s hot as blazes in here.
The barista is flamboyant and cute, and I think he checks me out while I strip out of Connor’s sweatshirt, but I’m negative-percent interested.
All I want to do is crawl back into bed with my boyfriend.
Once our orders are in, we take over a vacant table in the corner, where the nearest person is wearing big headphones while typing away on his MacBook.
Lori hangs her coat on the back of her chair before sitting, then it’s a full minute of silence before she asks, “Did you decide how long you’ll be in town for?”
“We’re leaving tomorrow morning. We both have class.”
The barista calls out our order, and Lori zips to the counter and zips back quicker than I can think of anything to say next.
“That guy is kinda cute,” Lori says, nodding her head toward the counter and eyeing me like I ought to agree.
“Looking to replace Martin?” Just speaking that man’s name agitates me. I know he didn’t steal Mom from Artie—can’t steal something that isn’t wanted. But Martin stole Mom from me. He took a job in Sacramento, and he took my mother with him.
She sends me a funny look like we’re both teasing around, but I don’t know what we’re doing here. I don’t know what the point of this is. “He’s a little young for me.”
“Too much hair?”
“Martin is a very good man,” she says. “He’s a good husband.
A good father. I wish you had come over.
He was really looking forward to finally getting to know you.
He has two kids. Boy and a girl. They’re both older than you by a good bit, but they live nearby and visit often. I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”
“I don’t give a shit about Martin or his kids.”
I sip from my straw while Lori’s countenance shifts down. Part of me feels guilty for it, like I should try harder. The other part of me wants to get up and leave.
“Right. Of course.” She clears her throat. “Can you tell me about yourself? How have you been? How’s San Diego? I know you’re still playing soccer. I bet that’s how you and Connor became friends.”
“Yeah.” I look at the dude in the big headphones and wonder what he’s working on that his fingers are moving so fast. Writing a thesis paper, maybe. What’s it about?
Lori tugs my focus back to our pitiful conversation with another question. “How have things been between you and your father? You’re still living there?”
“Not anymore. Connor and I are gonna get a place together. His mom doesn’t think it’s a good idea, though.”
“Why not?”
“I dunno. Probably thinks I’m a bad influence, or something. They’re very Hallmark-y over there. Protective.”
“Connor’s an adult. They know that.” When I don’t respond, Lori adds, “What do you two like to do together?”
I study her face, wondering if she knows more than she’s letting on, but it doesn’t really matter if she does. “Hang out. Watch movies, play video games, work out, go to the beach. He was helping me with soccer for a while.”
“You always used to love the beach. Scared the crap out of me nearly every time. I lost you more than once. Do you remember that? I’d have every lifeguard on the beach looking for you, but you always turned up.
You were independent like that. Hard to keep an eye on.
And God forbid we go anyplace where there was a cute boy.
Do you remember when you were about six years old, and I took you to one of those Symphony in the Park events?
There was this boy there. Blond kid. Probably around eleven or twelve.
You spent the entire hour following that boy around like his shadow.
He didn’t enjoy that very much, but I thought it was precious.
You spit on him at one point, though. His parents weren’t too happy about that. ”
An inexplicable sadness weighs down my chest, making my lungs heavy and my heart hurt. Frowning down at my coffee, I ask, “When did you know?”
“When did I know what?”
“That I’m gay.”
Her head cocks a bit to the side. “I suppose I suspected it when you were a toddler. By the time you were in preschool, I was pretty certain. I’d gotten several phone calls about you trying to kiss the other boys. Again, I thought it was cute, but no one else did.”
“Boundaries have never been my strong suit.”
Lori smiles at that. I don’t know why.
“Did you talk to Thalia?” I ask, and Lori’s brow lifts.
“We spoke the other day.”
“What did she tell you?”
Lori’s hesitation says all I need to know. “Your sister doesn’t hate you, if that’s what—”
“I don’t care if she hates me. Do you think I should care?”
She turns her chin toward the window, looking out at the street for a short while before looking back at me and answering, “I wish you would, but I understand if you don’t.”