Chapter 32
Rory
Declan broke the silence first. “Go find out what the fuck is wrong with her,” he said.
I stood and looked at him, not believing how he couldn’t know. But then again, he didn’t know Kat like I did. “What do you think is wrong with her Declan? She came here under the assumption that her family was normal. Nothing about this family is normal.”
He took a step back and looked at me, realizing something about me that I had known for weeks. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
I hesitated for a moment, torn between loyalty to him and my feelings for her. But in that instant, I knew there was no choice to make.
“Yes,” I said firmly, meeting Declan’s gaze. “I am in love with her. And I won’t let you or anyone else put her in danger again. ”
Declan’s expression softened slightly. “Rory, you know as well as I do that danger is part of this life. We can’t shield her from it forever.”
“Maybe not,” I conceded. “But we don’t have to throw her into the deep end either. She’s been through enough.”
I turned to leave, but his voice stopped me. “And what are you going to do if she decides to leave?”
I paused, my hand on the doorknob. I never wanted to be Captain. I was happy being Declan’s right-hand man. And I still didn’t want the job. But we were family. And this family was about loyalty. “I don’t know.”
∞∞∞
I found her outside standing in the moonlight, her arms resting on the fence as she gazed out over the pasture.
“I don’t want to talk about it Rory,” she said, sighing heavily.
“How did you know it was me?” I asked, coming to stop beside her.
“Your cologne.”
I smiled, despite the tension in the air. “I didn’t realize you paid such close attention to how I smell.”
Kat turned to face me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “There’s a lot about you I’ve noticed, Rory. More than I probably should have.”
My heart raced at her words, but I forced myself to focus on why I’d come out here. “Kat, I know this isn’t what you expected when you came here. But you have to understand, this family—”
“This isn’t a family, Rory,” she interrupted, her voice sharp. “It’s a criminal organization. And I don’t know if I can be a part of it.”
I reached out and took her hand, relieved when she didn’t pull away. “It’s both, Kat. Yes, we do things that aren’t exactly legal, but we take care of our own. We protect each other.”
“At what cost?” She shook her head and turned to look at me, her expression unreadable in the moonlight. “Rory, I—” she began, then stopped, and bit her lip.
“What is it?” I pressed gently, sensing her hesitation.
She took a deep breath, as if steeling herself. “I’m leaving tomorrow,” she said in a rush. “Going back to Nevada.”
The words hit me like a blow to the balls, knocking the air from my lungs. “What?” I managed to choke out.
She met my gaze, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I can’t do this anymore, Rory. The lies, the danger, the constant fear. It’s not the life I want.”
I felt my world start to spin, everything I thought I knew suddenly thrown into chaos. “Kat, please,” I began, reaching for her hand. “We can figure this out. We don’t have to—”
“I want you to come with me,” she interrupted, her voice barely above a whisper.
I froze, my heart pounding in my chest. “What?”
She turned to face me fully, her expression a mixture of hope and resignation. “Come with me, Rory. Help me run the bar, I’ll make you part owner.”
The offer hung in the air between us, tempting and terrifying in equal measure. I thought of Declan, of the Clan, of everything I’d ever known. And then I thought of Kat, of the future we could have together.
“I—I…” I felt my heart breaking as I looked intoher hopeful eyes. The thought of leaving everything behind to start a new life with her was intoxicating. For a moment, I let myself imagine it - waking up next to her every morning, working side by side at the bar, building a life together far away from the dangers and complications of the Clan.
But as tempting as that vision was, I knew deep down that I couldn’t do it. This life, this family - for better or worse - was a part of me. I couldn’t just walk away, no matter how much I wanted to.
“Kat,” I said softly, reaching out to cup her face in my hands. “I can’t tell you how much I want to say yes. The thought of waking up next to you every day, of building a life together – is something I want. You don’t know how badly I want that.”
I saw the hope flicker in her eyes, and it made what I had to say next even harder.
“But I can’t,” I continued, my voice thick with emotion. “This life, this family - it’s not just what I do, it’s who I am. I’ve been part of this Clan for so long. Declan and the others, they welcomed me like we were brothers. I can’t abandon them.”
Kat’s face fell, and she pulled away from me. I felt the loss of her warmth deeply.
“So that’s it then?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re choosing them over me?”
I shook my head vehemently. “No, Kat. I’m not choosing them over you. I’m choosing to stay true to who I am. I can’t be something I’m not, and I want you to stay here.”
She turned away from me, staring out over the moonlit fields. I could see the tension in her shoulders, the slight trembling of her hands.
“I understand,” she said finally, her voice flat. “You need to do what is best for you, just like I do.”
I stepped closer, wanting desperately to take her in my arms but unsure if my touch would be welcome. “Kat, please. You don’t have to leave. We can figure this out together. I promise I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe, to make this life work for both of us.”
She turned back to me, tears slipping down her cheeks. “And what happens the next time Declan sends us on a mission? Or when one of your enemies decides to use me to get to you? What then Rory?”
I had no answer for her. The dangers of this life were real, and we both knew it.
“I love you. Despite swearing off men after what happened to me, I love you,” Kat said softly, reaching up to touch my face. “But I can’t live like this. I’m sorry.”
“If you’re Captain, you won’t have to. You’re protected at all costs,” I said, trying to reason with her. But I could tell it didn’t matter.
“Will you be staying with me tonight or… in your own room?” she asked.
I was tempted to tell her my room, but I knew in my heart, it would be the last time I held her in my arms. “With you.”
With that, she turned and walked back towards the house, leaving me standing alone. It took every ounce of my willpower to not follow her.
As I watched as she retreated to the house, my heart was heavy with the weight of our talk. Part of me wanted to run after her, to beg her to stay, to promise her the world if only she would reconsider. But I knew it wouldn’t change anything. She had made her decision, and I had to respect it, no matter how it gutted me to do so.
With a heavy sigh, I turned back to the moonlit pasture, trying to gather my thoughts. The night air was cool against my skin, carrying with it the scent of grass and distant rain. It was peaceful out here, a stark contrast to the turmoil in my heart.
I don’t know how long I stood there, lost in thought, before I heard footsteps approaching. For a moment, I hoped it might be Kat, coming back to tell me she’d changed her mind. But the heavy tread told me it was someone else entirely.
“Rory,” Declan’s voice was uncharacteristically gentle. “You alright?”
I turned to face him, not bothering to hide the pain in my eyes. “No,” I admitted. “I’m not.”
He nodded, coming to stand beside me at the fence. For a long moment, we stood in silence, both staring out at the night.
“She’s leaving,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “Going back to Nevada.”
Declan sighed heavily. “I figured as much. This life... it’s not for everyone.”
I turned to look at him, anger suddenly flaring in my chest. “You knew this would happen, didn’t you?”
To his credit, he didn’t flinch from my accusation. “I hoped she would stay,” he said quietly. “But I knew there was a chance she wouldn’t. It’s why I wanted you both as Captains. I thought if she had a real stake in the Clan, if she felt truly part of something...”
“But she doesn’t,” I finished for him. “She never did.”
Declan placed a hand on my shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring. “I’m sorry, Rory. Truly I am.”
I nodded, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. We stood there for a while longer, the silence between us heavy with unspoken words.
Finally, Declan spoke again. “What will you do now?”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “I’ll stay,” I said, my voice stronger than I felt. “This is my family, my life. I can’t walk away from that. ”
He squeezed my shoulder. “You’re a good man, Rory. The Clan is lucky to have you.”
“Declan?” I called out as he turned to leave.
He paused, looking back at me.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to say. “I don’t want to be Captain.”
His brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean? After everything we’ve been through, everything you’ve proven—”
“I know,” I interrupted. “And I’m honored that you think I’m worthy of the position. But it’s not what I want.”
He turned to face me fully, his expression a mixture of concern and disappointment. “Rory, you’re one of the best men we have. The Clan needs a leader like you.”
I shook my head. “The Clan needs me where I am. As your right-hand man, as someone who can work in the shadows and get things done. Being Captain... it’s not who I am.”
Declan was silent for a long moment, studying me intently. Finally, he nodded. “I understand. And I respect your decision. But know this - the offer will always be there, if you ever change your mind.”
“Thank you,” I said, feeling a weight lift from my shoulders .
As he walked away, I turned back to the moonlit fields, my thoughts drifting back to Kat. Tomorrow, she would be gone, and I would have to find a way to move forward without her. The path ahead seemed darker and more uncertain than ever before.
But for now, I had one last night with her. One last chance to hold her in my arms, to memorize every detail of her face, every curve of her body. To say goodbye to the future we might have had.
With a heavy heart, I made my way back to the house, to the woman I loved, and to the bittersweet hours we had left together.
∞∞∞
I found her in bed, curled up in a ball, her auburn hair splayed across the pillow. For a moment, I just stood there, drinking in the sight of her. Even in sleep, she was breathtaking.
Quietly, I shed my clothes and slipped under the covers beside her. She stirred, her eyes fluttering open as I wrapped my arms around her.
“Rory,” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep. “I was worried you wouldn’t come.”
“I’ll always come to you,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Whenever you ask. ”
She snuggled closer, burying her face in my chest. “But not when I ask you to leave with me,” she said, her words muffled against my skin.
I dragged her on top of me. “Don’t. Don’t ruin what precious time we have left,” I murmured against her throat.
Kat lifted her head, her green eyes shimmering with unshed tears in the dim light. “Promise me you’ll be careful. Promise me you won’t do anything reckless after I’m gone.”
I cupped her face in my hands, my thumb tracing the curve of her cheek. “I promise,” I said solemnly. “As long as you promise to stay safe too. No unnecessary risks.”
She nodded, a sad smile tugging at her lips. “We don’t have much time left, do we?”
My throat tightened. “No,” I managed to say. “We don’t.”
She traced my jaw with her fingertips, her touch feather-light. “Then let’s make the most of it,” she whispered, before pressing her lips to mine.
I kissed her back with everything I had. Our tears mingled as I poured all my love, all my longing, all my grief into that kiss. We made love slowly, savoring every touch, every caress, knowing it would be the last time.
Afterwards, as we lay tangled together, I held her close and silently prayed for the sun never to rise.