Chapter 34
Rory
“Please explain to me why you aren’t going after her?” Wren said, for the third time.
I sighed heavily, running a hand through my hair as I looked at her. The concern in her eyes was evident, but it did nothing to soothe the ache in my chest.
“Because it’s what she wanted, Wren,” I said, my voice low and tired. “And... it’s what I want too.”
Wren’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “You don’t want her in your life? After everything you two have been through?”
I shook my head, turning to look out the window. The estate grounds stretched out before me, lush and green in the early evening light. But all I could see was Kat’s face, the mix of love and sorrow in her eyes as I held her last night. She didn’t give me the opportunity to beg her to stay one more time, as she snuck out before I awoke.
“Of course I didn’t want her to leave,” I said softly. “But I want her to be happy, to be safe. And she can’t have that here, not with this life anyway.”
I could feel Wren’s eyes on me, studying me intently. “And what about your happiness, Rory? Doesn’t that count for anything?”
I turned back to face her, a sad smile tugging at my lips. “My happiness isn’t more important than her safety. You didn’t see her face when she talked about leaving, Wren. She needed this. She needed to get away from all of this.”
I gestured around us, encompassing the grand house. “We’ve been living in a bubble, pretending we could have a normal life. But we can’t. Not really. Every day she was here, she was in danger.”
Wren stepped closer, placing a hand on my arm. “But you love her. Isn’t that worth fighting for?”
I closed my eyes, remembering the feel of Kat in my arms, the sound of her laughter, the way her eyes lit up when she smiled. “Love isn’t always enough,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “Sometimes, loving someone means letting them go.”
I moved away from her, walking over to the liquor cabinet and pouring myself a generous measure of whiskey. The amber liquid burned as I swallowed, a welcome distraction from the pain in my chest.
“You know what the worst part is?” I said, not really expecting an answer. “A part of me is relieved. Relieved that she’s out of danger, that I don’t have to worry about her getting caught in the crossfire.”
I turned back to Wren, seeing the mixture of sympathy and frustration in her eyes. “But that same part of me feels like a coward. Like I should have fought harder, found a way to make it work.”
She shook her head. “You’re not a coward Rory. You’re one of the bravest men I know. And sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is let go of what we love most. But you’re still an idiot for letting her walk away.”
I chuckled, grateful for her understanding. We stood in silence for a moment, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy between us.
“So, what now?” she asked finally.
I drained the last of my whiskey, feeling the burn all the way down to my stomach. Christ, I really needed to stop drinking. “Now, I do what I’ve always done. Protect the family, do my jobs, and try to stay alive.”
Wren raised an eyebrow. “And Kat? ”
I set the glass down, my jaw clenching. “Kat is gone. We leave her alone, let her live the life she wants.”
“And if she comes back?”
The question hit me like a brick. I’d been trying not to think about that possibility, knowing it would only lead to more heartache.
“She won’t,” I said firmly, more to convince myself than Wren.
She opened her mouth as if to argue but seemed to think better of it. Instead, she simply nodded and headed for the door.
“For what it’s worth,” she said, pausing in the doorway, “I think you’re both making a mistake. But I hope you find peace with your decision.”
As the door closed behind her, I turned back to the window, watching the sun sink lower in the sky.
I should have felt relieved, knowing she was safe. Instead, all I felt was an emptiness, a hole in my life that I wasn’t sure could ever be filled.
With a heavy sigh, I reached for the bottle again. It was going to be a long night.
∞∞ ∞
Days passed in a haze and my nights were restless, always filled with nightmares that something had happened to her. I found myself staring at my phone, willing it to ring in hopes that she would call me. Calling her was out of the question, she had made her choice and there was no way I would beg her to come back. But the silence stretched on, feeding my growing unease. What if Xavier had found her? What if he was hurting her again, right now?
I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind, and I knew I had to do something about it.
It took some digging, but I managed to track him down to a grimy bar on the outskirts of Rock Springs, Wyoming. I told Declan that I needed some time off and headed out west.
When I found his apartment, I watched him for a week, getting to know his habits. Which wasn’t hard. He left and went straight to this dump of a bar each morning at 11 am sharp. He would then stay the entire day, working until 7 pm. Then instead of leaving, he would stay as a patron until closing, when he would get behind the wheel and swerve his way home for the night. But not tonight. Tonight, I watched from my truck as Xavier stumbled out of the bar, fumbling with his keys. My hands tightened on the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white .
When he pulled out onto the lonely desert highway, I followed at a safe distance. My heart pounded in my ears, drowning out the truck’s engine. Miles of scrubland and red rock flew by in a blur, when finally, Xavier’s truck veered off onto a dirt road. I cut the headlights and crept after him. When he stopped to relieve himself by the side of the road, I made my move.
I pushed open my door and grabbed the shovel I’d thrown in the bed of my truck earlier and made my way towards him. The song he’d been singing froze in his throat as I cracked the shovel against his skull just enough to knock him out, but it was sickeningly loud in the still desert night.
I worked quickly; my movements deliberate. Soon, Xavier was bound and gagged like a stuffed pig, and then I delivered the piece de resistance. I shackled an ankle iron to his leg and attached the chain to the trailer hitch to the back of his truck. Walking over to my vehicle, I took a jug of water from the bed of it, unscrewing the cap as I headed back over to him. I poured it directly onto his face and watched with satisfaction as he sputtered awake.
He peered up at me then squinted. Around his gag, he chocked out, “Who the fuck are you?”
I sneered at him. “I’m your worst nightmare buddy. Just call me the reaper. ”
As he stumbled to his feet, he started to scream as he realized his leg was hooked up to the truck. “That bitch sent you, didn’t she?!”
I narrowed my eyes on him. “What bitch might that be?”
“Katrina! She hired you, didn’t she?”
I pursed my lips and shook my head. “Nope. But this is for her.”
I headed towards the driver’s door and climbed onto the seat, a grim smile twisting my features. I may not get Kat back, but at least my nightmares would end.
I gunned the engine and took off down the dusty road, dragging Xavier behind me. His muffled screams were lost to the howling wind and the roar of the engine until they stopped completely.
Mile after mile, I drove on, my eyes flicking constantly to the rearview mirror. I watched dispassionately as his body bounced and scraped against the unforgiving earth, just as Kat’s had. An eye for an eye.
When it was done, I stood over his broken, lifeless form. The desert would take care of the rest. As the first pale fingers of dawn crept across the sky, I turned and walked back to my truck, leaving Xavier to the mercy of the vultures that were already circling overhead.