Chapter 51
Rachel
After bringing Bee home from school, she asked if it would be okay for her to help Steph walk the dogs, and I happily agreed. Anything to get her out of her bedroom and out of her own thoughts.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew that my actions hadn’t solved anything.
I was well aware of the damage words could do—my tongue was my strongest weapon.
And for Bee, the damage was done. She was still healing.
All I had done was put a bandage over her wounds, but they were still under there, waiting to be addressed.
However, we were doing things at her pace, and it had already been a hectic few hours for her.
She had things to process, and she deserved this time to relax.
So, after catching Steph up on what had happened, I took Axel to visit Kitty.
In for a penny, in for a pound. I had already tried to solve one problem area of this family today; I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try another one. I was always a fucking glutton for punishment.
“Are you looking forward to seeing your nanny?” I asked Axel, holding his hand down the hallway as we made our way to Kitty’s bedroom.
“Brum.”
“Soon, darling. We’ll go for a drive in the car soon.” I grinned, knocking on the door to Kitty’s bedroom and pushing it open before she could decline the visit.
“Look who’s come to see you,” I told her when she turned her head to look in our direction. “Axel has missed you, haven’t you, baby?”
“Can you come back later, Rachel? I’m not in the mood for visitors.”
“No,” I said simply.
“I said—”
“I heard what you said, but I’m not leaving. In fact, I will be leaving, but you’ll be coming with me.”
“I—”
“I know. You’re not in the mood,” I mimicked, rolling my eyes. “But unfortunately for you, I’ve gone past caring. Bee will be back here in minutes. You can get yourself dressed, and you can come and spend time with your family.”
“Another day.”
“And when I come back another day, you’ll say the same thing. And the cycle will continue, over and over again, until one of us dies. I’m breaking that cycle before the cycle breaks you. It’s not healthy to be cooped up in here day in, day out.”
“I’m fine,” she tutted and then sighed as though she was utterly exasperated.
Oh, how dare people care! Can you imagine being so inconsiderate as to care about someone? Won’t someone please call the church elders!
I wisely did not give voice to my sarcastic thoughts.
“And that’s how you want to live your life, is it?
‘Fine’? Because there’s a whole range of emotions out there that absolutely destroy fine .
You’re going to start experiencing them all again, Kitty.
Ahh look,” I grinned at her. “There’s a new one already.
Anger. What a brilliant start. Capitalise on that feeling and use it as motivation to get the fuck out of that bed.
I’m not above dragging you out of it myself. ”
“I need a shower.”
“I’m not above assisting with that, either. You and I both know how deeply uncomfortable that will be, so do us both a favour and get up, pronto.”
She didn’t move, so I pushed open the door to her en suite, turned on the shower and then stood in the doorway, rolling up my sleeves. “Make your mind up, Kitty. Because I can’t promise I won’t waterboard you whilst we’re in there. You’ve got five seconds.”
She locked eyes with me and then sighed heavily once more. “You’re a pain in my fucking ass,” she snapped, swinging her legs off the bed. She stormed past me, shoulder barging me as she did so, and then slammed the door behind her.
Axel looked up at the noise, and I gave him a mischievous grin.
“Nanny is being grumpy today. I know what would cheer her up. Let’s get her some cookies. You can even eat them in her bed. How does that sound?”
He shot me a gummy smile.
“I’ll take that as a yes. And I bet Nanny would really love it if you left cookies on her pillow, crumbs and all. Come on,” I said, holding my hand out to him. “Let’s hurry before she’s finished.”
Half an hour later, Kitty was sat in the front room, watching as Bee spun around in circles and then tried to catch Axel as he ran across the room.
Every so often, Kitty would throw me a nasty look, and I bit down on my inner cheek to suppress my grins.
She had caught me and Axel red handed with the cookies.
It wasn’t so much that she minded Axel eating cookies in her bed. She had definitely minded me stood on the bed crumbling the cookies between my fingers and sprinkling the dust all over her sheets. In my defence, I thought her shower would last longer.
Kitty said that was a pathetic excuse, but that was the only one she was getting, so I guess it sucked to be her.
“Steady, Bee!” I laughed as she spun faster, almost falling over in the process.
She had written down on her tablet that she was making it fair. Axel couldn’t walk properly, so she was evening things out. She was talking more and more, but she still relied on her tablet a lot of the time.
She bumped into the door, causing Axel to break out into fits of laughter, and a huge grin split across her face.
“Maybe you would be better hopping on one leg, rather than spinning around?”
“Why?” she breathed, squealing in mock fear as Axel came tottering towards her, trying to smack her on the head again.
I watched as she took my advice and hopped to the other end of the room, sticking her tongue out at her brother as he tried to chase her. He dropped to a crawl and flew across the floor, making Mama laugh out loud as he chased after her lightning quick.
My neck almost snapped with the speed I looked at her, just about dying with shock to hear the laughter on her lips.
I looked back at my children and felt a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time slip over me.
I was content.
I was happy.
I had my children together. They were laughing. Bee was talking. Axel was in his element. Kitty was laughing.
It was perfect.
I couldn’t help but feel that a large portion of this was thanks to the whirlwind that was my son. He was healing hearts he hadn’t even broken.
Mine was healed the day I held him in my arms, and I was privileged to watch him heal the hearts of each person here, one by one.
“All my favourite people in one room,” I heard Dante murmur from behind me. I twisted my head and watched as he crossed the room and crouched down behind me, leaning over the back of the sofa to place a kiss on my temple.
“Good day?” I asked.
“It is now.” he shifted slightly and massaged my shoulders.
“Mm, that’s nice,” I breathed, leaning into his touch. He continued for a few minutes before kissing the top of my head and coming to sit on the arm of the sofa.
“Did you get it sorted?” He asked, taking my hand in his.
“I think so,” I replied, linking my fingers with his. “Did you?”
“I think so,” he smiled. “Have you eaten?”
“I was going to order a Chinese. Are you eating with us or do you have club business?”
“Nothing that can’t wait,” his eyes locked with mine, and a million unspoken words passed between us.
I had so much I wanted to say, and yet nothing came.
I both loved and hated where we were at right now.
We were so peaceful and calm with each other, but I knew if I said the wrong thing, the illusion would be shattered.
And I hated not being able to be honest with him, of having to watch every word I spoke, just in case.
“Dad…dy,” came the voice of Axel, sounding absolutely deranged as his words broke up into syllables, breathed out between puffs of his insane little laughter.
“Hey, little man,” Dante grinned, holding his arms out to him as Axel slowly walked towards him. Dante leant forward and scooped him up into his arms and Bee came running at us, throwing herself between me and Kitty on the sofa.
“Moana!” she beamed, making Dante groan out loud.
“Not again, Bee, please,” he begged, rolling his eyes.
“Moana! Moana! Moana!” she chanted, banging her fists on her knees. Axel joined in with a garbled “Anna!” accompanied by small punches to Dante’s chin.
“Your children have spoken, Dante,” Kitty said softly, her eyes brimming with tears for reasons I couldn’t quite understand.
I wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on with her, but I was also too selfish to get into it tonight.
I didn’t want to ruin the lovely evening this was promising to be.
So instead, I grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa, picked Axel out of Dante’s arms, and covered the four of us.
“Looks like you’re outvoted, Daddy,” I winked at him. “You go and order that Chinese. We’re watching Moana.”