28. Carter
28
Carter
RUSSIA
S aying goodbye to Ivy and Miri this time didn’t wreck my heart like it did two years ago, probably because it wouldn’t be long before I saw them again. I couldn’t stay away; terrible things would happen if I did. We made plans to get together for Christmas next month, and even if it would take some massaging my schedule, I’d do whatever I could to make it happen.
Poppy, on the other hand, needed to disappear. Unlike my spouses, I truly didn’t know when or if I’d see her again. I’d only met the child two days ago, but my fate had become as intrinsically linked to hers as it was to the others.
She kicked her feet over the seat of the charter plane Lex rented, resting her chin on her crossed arms as she watched the clouds go by out the window. She seemed lost in thought, biting her bottom lip between her teeth. Lex sat opposite us, his attention on his laptop as he caught up on school.
It had been a rough couple of days.
Hearing ghosts in the woods. Having sex in Faerie. Meeting a fairy queen only to have her ambushed by the fairy king. And now, we had a gifted child in our care.
What a fucked-up tale. Who would believe it? I barely could, and I’d lived it.
If Poppy was curious about anything she saw, she didn’t mention it. She hardly said anything, which I figured was appropriate considering what she’d been through, what we’d all been through.
I tugged on a blond pigtail, and she looked at me.
“Flying is so long and boring,” she said. “Why can’t you show me a picture of where we’re going and I’ll take us?”
I laughed. “Remember our promise? No one can know. You need to stop using it so much.”
She rolled her big doe eyes like I was an idiot. For only being ten, she’d read me like a book.
“I need to tell you something,” I said.
“Okay.” She seemed unsure.
“I’m really lucky,” I said. “I never lose a game of cards. I once gambled twenty bucks and made over a million dollars in three hours.”
She pulled her lips in between her teeth and looked down to the ground between us.
“Lex over there,” I said. “He can make anyone tell him the truth. I mean anyone.”
“Really?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Miri can make plants grow with her hands.”
“Like the thistles,” Poppy said, seeming to understand.
I nodded. “And Ivy can get inside anyone’s head, know what they’re thinking, talk to them.”
She sighed and rubbed her tiny hands over her face.
“You’re not alone,” I said, trying not to overwhelm her. “We’re special. No one else on earth is like us. At least, not that I know of.”
“Which is why you need to keep it to yourself,” Lex said. “My family, they’re good people. They’ll look after you. But they don’t know about this.”
“No one knows,” I said.
“Okay,” she said, exasperated. “I already pinky swore.”
I snorted and wrapped my arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer to me, relishing the connection for as long as I had it left.
We stepped off the plane to a bitterly cold wind that pierced my wool jacket, flurries of snow floating in the air. Even in the middle of November, it was a true Russian winter morning. An older gentleman wearing a calf-length peacoat greeted us from in front of a limo. Two men flanked him on either side, their hands linked together in front of them. Another person stood immediately to his right, holding up an umbrella. Everything about him gave off a don’t-fuck-with-me vibe, and I wondered if he was mob or government.
Would it have made a difference?
Lex warned me his uncle Dmitri was a brutal man, but loyal. Dmitri was his mother’s brother, and blood meant everything in Russia. It had saved them after the fall of the Empire, and it had shuttled Lex’s great-great-grandmother, Anastasia, and her little brother out of the country before they could be executed with the rest of their family. They’d risen up a few years later and taken back their birthright, reinstating a parliament with an honorific monarchy, kind of like England.
But Russia had always been more open about its corruption, and even if the Stuarts were no better than the Romanovs, the British royal family had shoved their heads in the sand about that bad PR ages ago. It didn’t matter if Uncle Dmitri ran the mob or the royal household. They likely were one and the same here in the Motherland.
“Alexeeeiiii,” Dmitri called, holding out his arms to either side. He looked exactly how one might imagine for a Russian mobster—thick gold chains hanging from his neck, big matching rings on his tattooed fingers, a tailored suit, and unblemished loafers. Eastern European aristocracy at its finest.
“ Djadja ,” Lex said, embracing his uncle in a tight hug.
They spoke to each other in boisterous tones I didn’t understand, undercut with laughs and claps on the shoulder. Dmitri pointed to me and Poppy.
“My friend, Carter,” Lex said. “Like a brother to me. And his… niece , Poppy.”
“Niece?” Dmitri said, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Lex said. “Niece.”
Dmitri nodded, understanding dawning on him. “This is the one?”
“This is the one,” Lex agreed.
I held Poppy’s hand tighter, and she ducked behind my leg when Dmitri squatted to get a better look at her.
“She’s skinny,” Dmitri said. “She won’t last the winter.”
“Guess Tjotja will have to fatten her up, huh?” Lex teased, shooting a wink in our direction.
“You know she will,” Dmitri said. “I can’t get that woman out of the kitchen. She was born with flour on her nose.” He muttered something to himself in Russian that made everyone else laugh. One of the guards opened the door to the limo, and Dmitri ducked to climb inside. Lex looked back at us and nodded, gesturing for us to get in with him.
Poppy sat tucked into my side, clutching a stuffed animal bear Miri had purchased for her in Dublin. Lex and Dmitri talked to each other in Russian, and based on the names Lex threw out, I assumed they were catching up on family.
“You okay?” I asked Poppy, tugging on her jacket to grab her attention.
She nodded, eyes glued to the white scenery outside. Winter was well on its way in Moscow, and the farther we got out of the city, the more barren the landscape became. I, too, found myself fascinated by the sights. I’d never been here before.
After about an hour, the car finally stopped in front of a huge log cabin estate with a maroon slate roof. It sat tucked into the woods, like it was always meant to be a part of nature, like you could blink and miss it if you drove past it on the highway. The bodyguard opened the door for us and an older woman wearing an apron barreled out of the house with her arms spread wide.
“Alexei, malysh,” she said. “Come here. Come here.”
Lex embraced his aunt and introduced us. Once Vera’s eyes landed on Poppy, the anxious tension in my gut lifted. She had a glowing warm aura that gave off “momma bear” vibes. Nothing would come for her den of cubs while Vera stood watch. She muttered something in Russian before switching to English.
“Look at you.” She put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. “Do you like lemon bars?”
Poppy shrugged.
“Well, let’s find out, huh?” She nodded toward her house and gestured for us to follow. We went, and I tried to keep my shit on straight at the decadence of this place. The foyer opened into a large great room on one side and a parlor on the other. Up ahead, the hallway led into a dining room, where I could only see half of the long table before it disappeared behind the wall. The chandelier overhead screamed opulence, somehow more shimmering and shiny than the one at Miri’s Malibu dream house.
Vera shoved sugary sweet decadence in our direction and my amazement at their house disappeared in favor of watching Poppy’s face light up as she took one. She licked her lips and smiled, sucking the lemon bits off her fingers.
“That was delicious, thank you,” she said.
“There is more, my dear,” Vera said. “Come. Come.” Poppy followed her down the hallway and into the dining room, but Dmitri waved his fingers to beckon us down a long, dark corridor to our right. He pushed open a door on the left, a study judging by the enormous desk by the window and the two sofas facing each other in front of it. He walked to the dumbwaiter in the far corner so he could pour three shots of vodka before handing one to each of us and holding his up in the air.
“Zdrarovye!” he said. Lex and I echoed the sentiment and tipped them over our heads. I shivered as it burned down my throat, warming my belly, but it was the best vodka I’d ever had. Fresh from the source, or whatever.
“Tell me,” Dmitri said, lowering into a big recliner next to one of the couches. “Where did this child come from?”
“Her family abandoned her.” Lex sat on the couch next to his uncle as he spoke. “Carter’s all she has left.”
Dmitri nodded and reached for a cigar, clipping the end before offering it to Lex. He did the same to another and handed it to me. Cigars usually made me want to vomit, but I couldn’t politely refuse. I didn’t want to piss off Uncle Dmitri before we’d secured his help. When he lit it, I puffed on it and swallowed down my reflex, pretending not to be bothered.
“You are a fancy TV star, yeah?” Dmitri lit his cigar and leaned back in the seat. “Why isn’t she going home with you?”
“Her family was in big to some asshole calling himself King Alberich,” Lex explained before I could say anything.
Dmitri rolled his eyes, muttering something in Russian that sounded demeaning. “Every day, a new idiot comes up with something ridiculous to call himself. King Alberich.” He made a noise of disgust. “Figures.”
“We need to keep her safe,” Lex said, “and hidden until we can deal with him.”
Dmitri rolled the cigar between his index finger and his thumb. “Deal with him, how?”
“We’re still working on that,” I cut in.
Dmitri bit the end of his cigar and inhaled on it before saying something in Russian that made Lex’s attention snap up, something meant for me not to understand. Lex flashed his uncle a devilish, charming grin and winked, answering in the same language, purposely excluding me.
Dmitri gazed back and forth between us before he laughed and clapped his knee, leaning forward so he could choke and wheeze even harder. I narrowed my eyes and opened my mouth to question what was going on, but Lex shook his head to stop me.
“I’ll hide her as long as I can,” Dmitri said, wiping at his eyes, finally calming. “She will be safe with me. You have my word. No harm will come to her under my watch.”
“Thank you, Djadja ,” Lex said. “Please let me know how I can repay you.”
“Bahhhhh,” Dmitri said, waving him away. “We’re family. Blood is more important than debt, yeah?” He tapped his cigar and looked back at us. “Now…tell me. Are you still dating that beautiful English princess?”
Lex laughed, and the conversation drifted to other things, my initial discomfort easing. Dmitri and Vera seemed like kind people, even if Lex assured me they were George and Evelyn Washington without the need to hide their evil deeds from a public that adored them. The public already knew (or suspected) the Romanovs were dirty.
When I found Poppy playing dolls with one of Lex’s cousins, I lost the rest of my opposition. I believed Dmitri when he gave me his word she’d be safe. And I believed Vera had that spark that meant she’d mother anything that needed it, whether they wanted her nurturing or not.
Poppy needed it in a big way.
“You doing okay?” I asked her when Lex wanted to take our stuff to our rooms.
She nodded and smiled, snacking on some cheese and crackers, returning to her game with her new friend. I followed my husband through the mansion, hoping to catch a shower before dinner.
* * *
We stayed there for a few days while Poppy settled in to make sure she was comfortable. Dmitri obtained an American passport for her with a new name, Penelope Smith, just in case she needed to run at a moment’s notice. He gave her a room next to Lex’s cousin, Ursula, and during those few days, Poppy came to life.
Sure, she had a long road ahead of her and every day, she’d have to live in fear Alberich might show up. But she knew what to do if that happened. We’d made a game plan.
“You have the picture of Ivy’s house in DC,” I told her, giving her the burner phone and showing her how to pull up the photos. “Go there immediately, okay?”
“Thank you for this, Carter,” she said with a nod, grabbing my hand with her miniature one. God, she was so small, so little. She shouldn’t have been able to understand as much as she did. She shouldn’t have seen all that she had. “Thank you for keeping me safe.”
“I promise I always will,” I told her, holding up my pinky finger. “Pinky swear.”
She laughed and squeezed it. “Pinky swear.”
What warmed me the most, what replayed in my mind before I fell asleep, was the way Lex had bonded with her. I found them whispering to each other in dark corners, laughing and giggling.
“She thinks I didn’t want her,” Lex said when I asked, pinching a cigarette between his fingers and running the other hand through his hair. “And she’s right. Now I’m trying to show her that maybe I was wrong.”
Fuck, my heart melted for him. If I didn’t love him before, I’d fall for him all over again. But Lex reminded me homosexuality was illegal in Russia, and if we were found out, his uncle would toss me and Poppy on the first flight home. He’d likely beat Lex to hell for besmirching the family name in his own house. Either way, we were careful with our PDA.
About a week after we arrived, I received word from my agent that one of my auditions had been pushed up and, if I wanted to do it, I had to come home soon.
“How you feeling, kiddo?” I asked Poppy on our walk in the woods behind their estate. She had never seen snow before, so after outfitting her with an appropriate suit to keep her warm, I showed her what the stuff was all about. Snowballs. Snowmen. Snow forts. All of it. But she seemed content to wander and try to catch the flakes on her tongue.
“I’m better,” she said.
“Do you like it here?” I shoved my hands in my pockets, bracing myself against the bitter chill in the air.
“Oh, yes,” she said. “Very much. Vera is nice, and Dmitri seemed scary at first, but he’s a big softy like Lex.”
I stiffened. He only seemed like a big softy to her. I’d heard the rumors, and I didn’t need to ask to know that most of them were probably true. But Poppy was part of the family now. Vera had seen to that. Dmitri treated her the same way he treated any of their other children.
“Would you be okay hiding here for a while?”
She didn’t answer at first, but then she nodded and pursed her lips. “I can come to Ivy’s house whenever I want?”
I squatted down to be at eye level with her. “You should try to stay here if you can. It’s safer.”
She nodded.
“But yes,” I answered, “Ivy’s house. My house. I gave you the addresses. You have the photos.”
“Does this mean you’re leaving?” She stared up at me with big, curious eyes, reminding me so much of Lizzie.
I sighed and adjusted her jacket, wrapping it tighter around her neck. “Yeah. I have to work.”
She took a deep breath, resigning herself to this next chapter of her life. “Okay.”
“I wish you could come with me,” I said, standing again. “And one day, you will. When it’s safe.”
She grabbed my hand while we walked. “When will that be?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But one day.”
“Do you think I’ll ever be able to get back to Faerie? Back to my lady?” She squinted up at me, perhaps hoping I’d be able to tell her she could.
“I hope so.” That was the best I could offer.
Ursula came out of the woods and threw a snowball at Poppy’s chest, beaming her right in the shoulder. Poppy gasped and then burst into giggles, chasing after her new friend.
“Ursula! Poppy!” Vera called from beyond the tree line. She followed with something in Russian that I suspected asked them to come back for lunch. They both ran laughing in that direction. I turned to follow, but a big body hit me from the right and took me down to the ground with a loud grunt.
The smell hit me next.
Lex.
I wrestled with him, pushing his shoulders so I was on top. He countered, and we crested a hill, rolling in the snow until we stopped in the valley at the bottom, me on top of Lex, his legs bent on either side of my hips. His cock dug into my pelvis, already hard despite the cold, and I shivered with anticipation.
I pinned his arms above his head, chuckling low and deep in my throat as he thrashed against me. We’d both gotten bigger with age, but I worked out for a living. My job was to look powerful for the camera. I outweighed him by at least thirty pounds of muscle.
“Well, well, well,” I said. “What do we have here?”
“Don’t gloat just because you’re a stupid fucking meathead now.”
I laughed, dragging my nose along the side of his face to take another long inhale of my favorite man. The air was cool and the snow around my legs started to melt, but I didn’t care. All I could feel was my heart pounding, the heat from his body so fucking close to mine.
It had been a week since I’d touched him, a week since that night in Faerie. I didn’t know if it was the curse or the forbidden nature of it, but I wanted him more than I ever had. My skin ached for his touch. My tongue yearned for his cock. Whenever I caught him staring at me in that seductive Lex way, it took all my willpower not to drop to my knees and open my mouth in blatant expectation.
But now I had him alone in the woods. All to myself.
What’s a boy to do?
Everyone else was eating lunch. Our absence would be noted, but they’d suspect Lex was showing me the grounds on our last day here. And oh…how right they were.
“A meathead you want to rail your tight little ass,” I whispered, biting his earlobe between my teeth. My cock twitched when he trembled and tried to hide it. I’d always been able to break Lex to pieces, and that kind of power boosted a guy’s ego.
“I’d rather you swallow my dick,” he said, leaning up so he could swipe his warm, wet tongue across my bottom lip. The touch rattled all the way down in my toes, and my balls clenched.
Fuck, I’d always have it bad for him. One touch. One kiss. One look. I was his, and that would never change.
“You never did know when to stop running your mouth,” I said. “Here you are, trapped under someone who could flip you over and pound you into the snow, and you still can’t shut the fuck up.”
I rolled my hips into him, grinding my dick against his between our pants.
“More threats?” he said. “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Do you know who I am in this country? I could tie you up and flog you in front of a live audience. No one would bat an eye.”
“Oh.” I let out a sardonic chuckle. “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”
“Good thing we’re friends, right?” he continued, biting my bottom lip between his teeth. God damn it, he was so hot.
“Friends? We’ve never been friends, DC.” I rolled my hips again, causing a deep groan to tumble out of his chest, inflating my sense of pride. “Not when I’ve only ever wanted to fuck you. Not when that’s all you’ve ever wanted, too.”
He laughed, trying to tease me and get in my head. “Why do you think I give a damn about you? I know how this story ends. You’ll go back to Hollywood and forget about me again. Forget about her. ”
This might have started as play, but those words edged too close to the truth to be fake. I heard a sliver of doubt in his tone.
“Is that what you think?” I hissed, my temper starting to rise. “That I forgot about you? That I forgot about her?”
“Why should I trust a damn word you say?” He was trying to rile me up. He liked angry sex the best, and he especially liked it with me.
He wanted it like that? Fine.
I’d fuck that blue-blood smirk right into this goddamn blizzard. I didn’t give a damn who saw us.
“Why should you trust me? Because I love you, Lex,” I said. “I loved you first. I’ve always loved you.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but I pressed my lips to his to finally silence him. God, they felt so good. I melted against him, moaning as my cock sought his, rubbing against it, urging it to respond. His fists dug into my jacket, yanking me to him tighter, and when I broke the kiss, he panted to try to catch his breath.
“Chicago,” he started to say.
“Enough, DC.” I sat back and flipped him around so he was on his belly, his knees under his hips, ass up in front of me.
I wrapped my fingers over his mouth to keep him quiet and whispered, “Warm my hand up for me.” I tugged his pants down just enough so his ass was exposed. “So when I finally let you fuck my fist, your cock doesn’t freeze off.” He chuckled and the hot air of his breath surged between my fingers.
Then I dug in his pocket to find the lube. Because, of course, he tackled me with the sole purpose of fucking me out here in these quiet woods. He’d planned this. Though, I was sure my fucking him was not how he saw this going. Most of the time, I bottomed for Lex. But every now and then, Lex needed the reminder I, too, could take care of him. And that he, too, needed a good fucking to put him back in his place. I was all too eager to oblige.
I squeezed lube in his ass and worked my finger inside him. One finger became two, and soon, he was bucking back on me, mewling against my palm.
Fuck. Yeah.
To see Lex at his most vulnerable gave me the biggest hard-on in the world. Yeah, I loved being with Ivy, and fucking Miri was amazing. But Lex?
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
Slipping inside him was always a reunion of souls, a hot, tight reminder that we were a match made in the stars. I couldn’t wait any longer. I unzipped my pants and lined my cock up at his entrance, slowly easing the tip inside.
Fuuucck, he was so perfect. He relaxed into me, sagging into the contact, like it felt better for him than it did for me. I understood the feeling. When Lex fucked me, my legs shook for hours afterward.
“Good goddamned hell,” he grumbled, his words muffled by my fingers.
“Shhh,” I whispered next to his ear, my body pressed against his. “Wouldn’t want Djadja overhearing his malysh getting railed like a filthy whore, would we?”
Lex let out a sick, twisted noise, and I buried myself deeper inside of him, hitting that spot that drove him wild. I froze and rolled my hips, and he trembled. That made me shiver, too.
“I love you, Lex,” I whispered. “I’ve always loved you, and no matter what you do or what you say, that won’t change. I can’t forget you. Don’t you know that by now?” I pressed my forehead to the back of his hair, inhaling his scent deep in my lungs, wishing I could bottle it up and carry it around with me so I could smell it whenever I wanted.
He made a sound kind of like a sob, and he collapsed under me, his whole body going limp at the confession. Maybe he’d come already. Maybe he was realizing how deep my feelings for him truly went. Either way, I needed him to remember it.
I pushed up on my knees behind him, one hand pressing his head into the snow, the other pinning his shoulders down. I took him harder and deeper, marking him, claiming him as deeply as he’d ever claimed me.
“Years and miles may separate us,” I said. “But you’re mine. Understand? Always.”
I thrust harder now, deeper, curling my fist in his hair. My cock swelled inside of him, my climax hitting me right between the eyes, splintering down my spine and into my legs.
“Fuck,” I moaned, spilling deep inside him, my orgasm rocketing through my veins. I stayed like that, letting my dick have its way, not knowing when it’d get another chance.
This moment is pure euphoria . I could live in it forever.
Eventually, I eased out of him, taking special care to run my hands over his spine before giving his ass a quick pat. I pulled his pants up so when I flipped him around, he didn’t have his bare ass on the snow. Because I planned to suck his cock just like he wanted, and when he came in my throat, I wanted him to be comfortable.
See? I’m a gentleman, too.
He pouted and his cheeks blushed, making him look like the sex-soaked hedonist I’d always known. I freed his cock, and his lips parted to say something probably shitty and degrading, but this was my scene. This was my show. So I covered his mouth again and pushed him to lie flat, leaning down to get to work.
I teased him by licking the tip, making him groan and let out a deep exhale. When I sucked him the way he liked, licking and flicking the spot just under his head, I had to shove a forearm in his gut to keep him still. He tried to grab for my hair, but I circled his wrists and pinned him down again. When I finally let him come, it was with my fingers down his throat, my lips wrapped around his dick, and my name on his tongue.
I absolutely lived to unravel him.
When we were done, I rolled to the side and threw an arm over my eyes, breathing down the dopamine rush, panting into the frigid air.
“Christmas,” he finally said, his voice gravelly like he’d swallowed a sandblaster. “Promise me Christmas.”
I looked at him, taking a deep inhale before nodding. “I think I can swing it.”
He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. “I have a secret I need to tell you.”
“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow. “Go on.”
“You know I love Miri,” he said, rolling on his side so he could face me. “And Ivy and me…well…it’s complicated, but I do love her.”
I snorted. After all these years, I was happy he could finally admit it.
“But you…” He shook his head, finding and lighting two cigarettes, one for each of us. “There’s something about you, Chicago.” His voice dropped so he could whisper the next bit so low that only I could hear it.
It seemed sweet, right? To be craved by someone you loved, someone you also craved. But his face grew more somber when he realized I was being too romantic about it.
He rubbed a hand over his hair, brushing it out of his face. “Those two years I didn’t see you felt like I’d quit smoking cold turkey. And now that I fell off the wagon—” His eyes widened, and he inhaled his cigarette, blowing it out in a thick puff of gray smoke. “I can’t go another two years, Carter. I’ll fucking lose my mind.”
“I promise, DC,” I said, leaning in to kiss him.
“Whatever this magic is,” he said. “It’s affecting me in really fucked-up ways. Carter, I could feel you getting closer. I knew when you were in DC. I don’t know how I knew, but I did.” It flickered behind his eyes, the first real bite of fear. Up until now, he’d hardly flinched. Running from a fairy king? No big deal to Lex fucking Fairfax. Cursed by a trickster fae? Rolls right off the Russian prince’s back.
But for one brief second, he looked like a little boy, small and terrified. It made him seem fallible for the first time since I’d known him.
And that scared the living shit out of me.
“Christmas,” I said again, reassuring him. “I promise.”