Chapter Nine
Sammy
After Will left that night, I started a new sketchbook, one that we found while going through the cabin.
My guess was my grandfather had picked it up for me at some point because on the front cover was a teddy bear.
He had a habit of buying presents and losing them.
More than once, I got a Christmas present on my birthday or later.
I drew through that night. I drew Will showing me how to secure the boat. I drew the chocolate milk from the diner. I drew the fairy tree. I kept adding new memories, the inspiration hitting me one image after another.
It had been a long time since I’ve been that focused, and when I went to bed that night, I fell asleep easily. I wanted to tell him all about my new sketchbook and my accomplishments that weekend after we parted ways, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so.
Will had given me his number. It would be easy to call him, but he’d said, “In case you need it,” when he did. Technically, I didn’t need to call him. I wanted to, and those were two very different things.
When I got home from the weekend, I kept thinking about how I wanted to ask Rowan all about the trip and Will, and to tell him all about my time with Daddy.
But Rowan and his daddy were spending a night at a B it was a thank-you gift for Will.
Originally, I’d offered to pay him. He flat-out refused.
He didn’t even let me buy his pancakes. But a drawing from somebody whose art wasn’t worth more than a couple bucks at a flea market, how could he refuse that?
Drawing the picture was one thing. It flowed easily and I loved the final result. But writing the thank-you card? That was another.
There was so much to say that couldn’t be summarized in a simple thank-you, but also oversharing would mean that he had to listen to my emotional baggage once more.
After overthinking it for too long, I kept the card very simple: “Thank you for being my daddy when I needed one.” Sweet and to the point.
Or at least, that was what I was going for.
I slid both into a manila envelope and waited for Rowan to return so I could beg a favor. When I told him I spent the day with Will, he acted like it was a surprise. It wasn’t, and raced over for a playdate.
He came in wearing oversized sweats and a hoodie, stripping them the second the door closed behind him, revealing his dinosaur jams underneath. “Okay, tell me all the details first, then we can play.”
“There aren’t a lot of details. He returned my boat and then helped me around the cabin, took me to dinner, gave me chocolate milk. That was that.”
“What you mean is, you don’t want to share all the details.” He wagged his finger at me and shook his head like in an old sitcom. “We’ll get back to those in a minute. First, tell me when are you seeing him again?”
“I’m not. He gave me his number in case I needed him.”
“And you’re taking that at face value…obviously,” Rowan said.
“If he wanted more than that, he would have said.”
“It’s like you’re oblivious sometimes. Does he go to Chained a lot?”
“Don’t really know. I only see him there on days I go with Daddy, and only then when we’re meeting him.”
Rowan still went to Chained with me from time to time, but he usually went with his daddy, and often they went with other couples. He never left me out, but couples’ nights when you weren’t a couple didn’t sound like the best idea to me.
“How about this? Next time I’m there, I’ll slip him your number?”
“Will there be a little do you like him check yes or no box too?” I probably shouldn’t have given him the idea. Knowing Rowan, he might just do it.
“You think you’re so funny, but seriously, can I give him your number?”
“Only if he asks for it.” I handed him the envelope. “And give him this, please.”
“This looks like interoffice mail.”
“Don’t mock the envelope. It’s a present.”
That was two weeks ago, and every day, I waited for the time Rowan could deliver it.
Tonight was officially it. He was going to Chained with his daddy, and they were meeting Will and some others.
He invited me to come along, but that felt like super imposing on them all.
I declined, opting instead to sit home, wrapped in my blankie and listening to music, crossing my fingers and toes that Daddy liked the picture, and playing out all the scenarios in my head.
In one, Will said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” giving it back to Rowan.
In another, he opened it and said, “Oh yeah, that’s nice,” and forgot it on the sofa there.
In yet another, he opened it, gushed, took it home, framed it, and it became his favorite thing.
If there was a scenario, it played in my head.
I was happy to be drawing a lot and feeling so much more inspired since being at the cabin, and thrilled to be able to share it with someone. Now that I had, I was second-guessing it. Not everybody wanted a random person’s drawing.
And really, I should’ve just asked him if I could call him when he gave me his number.
That was what I’d normally have done. Heck, that was what I would’ve told Rowan to do when he met his daddy if they had been in a situation.
But I hadn’t, and using that phone number didn’t feel right, which led to me spending a miserable night waiting and waiting and waiting, hoping for an update from Rowan.
When the phone rang, I was sure it was my little friend. It wasn’t. It was Will.
“I love the drawing. Thank you.”
“You can’t thank people for thank-you gifts.” If he saw me, he’d know I was beaming, but he couldn’t, and I tried to play it off cool, despite basking in his praise.
“You’re really talented.”
“Thanks. Sorry, it took long to get to you. The Rowan delivery service doesn’t run daily.”
“No, I suppose it doesn’t. I’m glad it ran tonight. I’ve been wondering if you were free on Saturday, or if you had to go back up to the cabin.”
“I do have to go up there again, but I was thinking of staying in town this Saturday. Why? Are you asking me out?”
He chuckled. “I was trying to, but you beat me to it. What do you say?”
“I’d like that.” I’d like that very much.