Chapter 16
Sixteen
“ I am never going to get the hang of this stupid program!”
Sam slammed his coffee cup down on the desk and ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Easy there, Cowboy. It’s honestly not all that complicated.” Evie pushed back from her desk, where boxes of old paperwork were scattered about her feet. They’d fucking fought over her moving them around earlier that morning, but she’d been being stubborn and he let it go. He’d just move them back to storage when she was done for the day.
“Watch out for those boxes.”
“I know they’re there Sam, I brought them in this morning, remember?”
He didn’t bother responding. Sometimes it was best just to let his woman think she’d won.
“Now, what are you getting stuck on?”
“This part here.” Sam pointed to the expenses column on the screen. “It’s not letting me enter these numbers.”
“Ah. Are you forgetting to put in the cents?”
“There are no cents. It’s whole dollar amounts. ”
“Then type the period and put two zeros after it. The column requires it to be in that format.”
Sam huffed. “You’d think that a computer program would be smart enough to figure it out.”
“And I’d like to think a cowboy would be smart enough to follow directions.”
Sam laughed. The back and forth they constantly had just felt right.
“Good thing I have a smart office manager to keep me in line.”
“That is good news.” Evie stood and reached for the binder on the edge of his desk. His eyes drifted to the soft curves of her ass. Jesus. “Because I definitely can help wit—” A gasp hit his ears and Sam jumped from his chair, reaching for Evie the next second. Her hand flew to her belly and her face crumpled. His arm landed on her back as she swayed.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” He didn’t care how worried he sounded. Her face had drained of its color and she still had her hand pressed low on her belly.
“I-I don’t know. That was so strange. I’ve never felt something like that before.”
Her words came out breathless and Sam resisted every urge to scoop her up and run her to his truck.
“Was it Jellybean?”
“Maybe? I think I just need to move.”
Evie started to straighten her back, but the second she got somewhat upright, her face crinkled in pain again as she inhaled sharply. Sam grabbed her elbow and helped her sit in his chair.
“Shit. Are you okay?”
Her wide eyes blinked, uncertainty staring back at him. “I think so.”
“What does it feel like? ”
“There’s like this sharp pain when I try to move.”
“Where?”
Evie grabbed his hand and placed it low on her belly, on her left side.
Sam reached over and grabbed the keyboard with his free hand, typing the symptom into the online search engine.
Christ. Alarm bells were ringing in his head and he felt so fucking lost. Evie sat with her eyes closed as he spiraled through the list of complications on the screen.
“Do you feel nauseous? Or dizzy?”
“No. It was just that sharp pain.”
“Are you having other cramping with it?”
“Suddenly decided to study for your OBGYN boards, Cowboy?”
He looked away from the computer to see Evie’s eyes now open, studying his face.
“It’s not funny, Bluebell. There’s a list a mile long of what could be happening and I’m trying to decide if this is a ‘call 9-1-1’ situation or just a ‘bring you into town to see your doctor’ type of situation.”
She shifted in the chair, but he didn’t move his hand. Jellybean hadn’t moved yet. He wasn’t about to miss it. “It’s definitely just a ‘take a deep breath and wait’ situation.”
“I’m not good at that.”
“Tell me what it’s saying this could be.”
“Well… It could be round-ligament pain. Have you heard of that before?”
Evie shook her head.
“Looks like it’s pain caused from your ligaments stretching as Jellybean gets bigger.”
“That makes sense. It was so sharp, but only when I moved a certain way. Is it dangerous?”
“No. But you’re still going to sit there for a bit until we can make sure it’s not something else. ”
Jellybean rolled, and Evie’s belly vibrated with her laughter.
“She seems to be enjoying the attention.” Evie smiled. “I think she might have a flair for the dramatics.”
“Hey, little one. Listen up. Don’t be scaring your mom and me like that, okay?”
Evie’s phone pinged at her desk and he watched her eyes drift closed again.
“Do you want me to get that for you?”
“No. Leave it. I’m sure it isn’t anything important.”
Sam stepped out of the barn, his eyes scanning the land until he landed on Evie, pacing under the oak tree. He shook his head. That was the very first place he should have expected to see her. The minute he got close enough to see the terror written on her face, he took off at a run. He was still a few feet away when he heard someone yelling at her through the phone.
“You fucking disgusting bitch. You think you can steal from me and then try to frame me? You have the fucking audacity to tell the police to look into me?”
“Dr. Bowman, what was I supposed to do? I gave the police the evidence that cleared my name. I did not tell them to look into you. If you are a suspect, that is not my fault.” Her eyes bounced up and she held her hand out, stopping Sam from walking any closer. “I hope they find the person responsible, but that is not me. I’ve left your practice. I expect that you won’t contact me again.”
“If you think I’m going to let a fucking slut who turned ME down like she’s the fucking queen of England ruin my name and shred my business apart ? —”
Sam pulled the phone away from Evie’s ear and fought the urge to snap her phone in half.
“Who the fuck do you think you are speaking to Evie like that?” Sam growled.
The phone clicked and Sam looked at the screen. The bastard had hung up. One person stood up for Evie and the man turned into a coward. Why hadn’t anyone stepped up for her in Wisconsin? Just one person, and she might not have had to uproot her entire life. But wasn’t he thankful that she had? If she’d stayed there, then he never would have met her…
Evie paced back and forth in front of him. “How dare he! How can he say those things? To try and take this away from me. He’s going to try and ruin my reputation here after what he did to me before, and that’s going to come back on the ranch and, oh god. On you, Sam. I can’t have that. I can’t let him ruin what your family has worked so hard for. Not when you’re already struggling. And then where will I go? I’m getting huge.” She gestured to her belly, closing her eyes on a sigh. “It’s not like I’d be able to hide Jellybean like I was able to when I showed up here. And if you wanted to fire me right after finding out about her, there’s no way I’ll be able to get another job….and I can’t have that kind of instability. She doesn’t deserve that. This is her home. Our home. I can’t lose that. I can’t…” Evie clawed at the collar of her shirt. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be?—”
Her eyes, wide with panic, locked onto his. “I can’t breathe, Sam. I can’t…”
“Whoa. Yes you can.” Sam reached for her hands, pulling them away from her neck, where she’d left raw red scratch marks across her peach flesh.
“No. It’s too t-tight. I can’t breathe. My chest…”
“Evie.” She was too far into the panic. Her eyes were wide open, but unfocused. Lost to the fear. Sam grabbed her arms, turning her so that her back was pressed into his chest, and lowered them both to the ground. In an instant, she was sitting curled up on his lap.
While he’d hoped the contact would settle her, Evie’s breathing was still too rapid.
“Slow down your breathing. You’re hyperventilating.” Her breathing didn’t change. Shit. He needed to try something else. Sam grabbed her chin and turned her face right towards his. “Baby. Tell me something you can see.”
She shook her head. “Yes. Something you can see. Now.”
Her eyes drifted over his shoulder. “The house,” she whispered.
“Good. Now what can you hear?”
Her body shook in his arms, but he watched as a little line of concentration formed between her eyebrows. She snuggled her head down into his chest. “Your heartbeat.”
Fuck. He’d never been so happy to have someone listening to that.
“Good. What else can you hear?”
“Shep. He’s barking.” A smile pulled at the corner of her lips.
“Probably trying to find you,” Sam chuckled. “And what can you feel?”
His breath stilled as her fists unwound and her hands slipped onto his arms.
“You.”
“There you are. Good girl.”
Her breath was still choppy, but it was slowing, and some of the color that had drained out of her cheeks was returning.
They stayed like that, with Sam holding her and directing her breathing, for a few painfully silent moments. “I’m sorry. I don’t know…”
“How long have you had panic attacks for?” he asked as he brushed his thumb across her cheek.
“How do you know that wasn’ t my first?”
Sam shrugged. “I get them, too.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. A few months ago, they just started happening and I haven’t been able to shake them.”
“If you need someone to talk to?—”
“I’m fine, Bluebell. I’m not worried about me.”
Her hand reached up and traced along his jawline. “I just guess I’ll have to be then, won’t I, Cowboy?”
“You’ve already got enough on your plate. No need to fuss over me. How long have these been happening to you?”
She shook her head. “I’ve had them since my parents died. Storms are usually the trigger, so I know to sort of tuck myself away if a bad one is going to come. I’ve never had someone around when they… when I’ve had one before. Thank you for helping me.”
He nodded. “That asshole on the phone was your former boss, right? What did he say to you before I came over?”
Her eyes danced between his, a fresh batch of tears flooding them as he watched her search for the words.
“Okay, you don’t have to tell me right now. Just breathe, Evie. Let it out and breathe.”
Sam twisted his body so his back was now against the trunk of the tree. One arm wrapped around her back, the other slid beneath her legs, before he lifted her into his arms. He sat with Evie in his lap, his hand cradling her belly.
“It’s the baby.”
Her whispered cry had his stomach bottoming out.
“Something’s wrong with the baby? Are you having more of those pains like this morning?”
“No.” Her watery laugh eased some of the worry, but not enough that his chest stopped aching. “The baby’s fine. I meant she’s the reason I’m crying. I’m so angry I could hit something, but the baby hormones are turning my anger into tears. I hate that. I hate feeling so out of control. ”
“I think you’ve had a perfectly reasonable response to the things I overheard that asshole say to you.”
Her cheeks finally got some color back into them as splotches of red blossomed over her face. “I’m overreacting. Oh, God. I’m sorry. I let myself spiral. I’m so embarrassed.”
She tried to push away from his chest, but Sam tightened his arms around her.
“Why don’t you just let me hold you for a second longer, and we can go from there?”
He closed his eyes and waited to feel her settle back against him. It only took one heartbeat before her head was tucked back under his chin.
“You’re always so strong, Evie. You don’t have to be that way around me.”
“Yeah, well. A lot of good it’s done me.” She lifted her head and wiped at her cheeks.
God, it gutted him to see her this upset and he still didn’t know what that asshole originally said to her. His mind was bringing up every horrible thing possible.
“Your shirt is soaked through.” She gave him a watery half smile that had his heart going crazy. “I’m so sorry I cried all over you.”
“It’s just a shirt, Bluebell. It’ll dry.” He brought his thumb up to her cheek and swept away a tear.
“No, don’t be sweet to me right now. I’m barely hanging on.”
“Are you ready to tell me what he said?”
She groaned. “It’s not that big of a deal. I shouldn’t have reacted like this. I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. I want to know what he said. Mainly so I can shoot the asshole if he ever comes around here but?—”
“You don’t think… oh my god. No. He wouldn’t come here, would he?”
“Can’t ever be too careful. But we all carry here. You know that. He steps foot on this property, uninvited and making you uncomfortable, I’ll shoot him. No questions asked.”
“You cannot do that,” she groaned.
“I can, and I will.”
“Sam, he won’t come here. My mind just got away from me after he said…” her whole body shivered. Fuck. Whatever that bastard had said was bad. Sam knew it in his gut.
“What? After he said what?”
“He told me he should have taken what was his when he had the chance. Then I wouldn’t have had to go to a fertility clinic to get pregnant, because the baby would be his.” Every muscle in his body tensed.
“Evie. He’s a dead man.”
“I can take care of myself. He’s not going to show up here, but even if he did, I could handle it.”
“I know you could, but you don’t have to. You don’t always have to fight every battle all alone.”
“I’ve always known I would be okay on my own, even raising a child without a community behind me.”
“And when you meet someone? Someone who wants to be Jellybean’s dad. Someone who wants to give you more babies one day. What would you do then?”
Her pupils dilated and her breath hitched as a rosy blush bloomed across her face. He knew she understood what he was saying.
“Sam… I?—”
“Why do you sit under this tree every day?”
“What?”
“I see you out here. Always under this tree. It’s not the closest tree to the office. It doesn’t even have that great of a view. But there you are, under the cover of its canopy, every day.”
“I don’t know. It’s just beautiful. Solid. I imagine a lot of kids have climbed those branches over the years. I like to think about Jellybean being a little older. How she’ll try to climb it… It feels like it’s seen the entire history of this ranch, of your family. There’s some sort of magic in its roots.”
“It’s been here since my great-great-grandfather started the ranch. I’m sure all nine of his children played in it at one point or another.”
“Really?”
“He planted it in the ground the very first day he owned the land. Then he turned around and asked my great-great-grandma to marry him. He’d branded her name onto the inside of his cowboy hat. Got down on one knee and handed it to her.”
“That’s the hat hanging in the office.”
He nodded. “My grandad and my old man proposed the same way. Mom still has Dad’s hat up in her room with her. My great-great-grandma had eight kids right in that farmhouse.”
“I thought you told me they had nine kids?
“They did. After Lyle asked Ginny for her hand in marriage, he turned to her son and asked if he could be his daddy.”
“That’s why the hat says Ginny and Ezra. Because he asked both of them to be his family?”
“Exactly. Ginny’s first husband ran off on her before my great-grandpa was even born. He never knew any other dad, except Lyle.”
“And Lyle passed the ranch on to Ezra even though he wasn’t biologically his?”
“That’s just it, Evie. He did. Because he was his dad in every way that mattered. And my great-grandpa kept the traditions of our family alive. Genetics are important. But they aren’t everything. ”
“Why are you telling me this?” she whispered.
“Because, you’ve earned your place here. You’re right. This is your home. And Jellybean’s too.”
At the ranch, and in my heart.
My girls.