Chapter 19
Nineteen
“ A re you okay?” Abby asked as Evie finally rejoined them. “Who was that?”
“I’m fine. My former boss thought he’d come harass me in person. Apparently, I really screwed him over when I didn’t allow him to frame me for stealing from his business. Oh, and he’s really against me having a baby on my own. He called Jellybean a bastard.” Anger stuck in her throat.
“Oh my gosh, Evie! That’s awful,” Grace said.
“Yeah. I feel a little shaken up, but I know Hank is handling things with Sam. Sorry I took your man away from you, Daisy.”
“Eh, I wasn’t ready to have him back quiet yet,” she laughed. “The men tend to hover when we are out in a crowd like this. It’s nice to just get in some girl talk without all that testosterone around.
“I think some girl talk is exactly what Evie needs to forget about her creep of a former boss. Can we talk about how much you upgraded with your cowboy? I bet that eye candy makes for a great boss! ”
“Actually, Em. Seb is technically Evie’s boss…” Abby let the words hang in the air.
“Alright, only I am allowed to talk about how hot and handsome Evie’s actual boss is! But, at this moment, let’s pretend her boss is Sam, because I’m totally in my boss-employee forbidden romance era and I need to live vicariously through her.”
“Oh, god.” Evie groaned as she buried her head into her hands.
She appreciated the change of subject, but holy hell, she needed to stop being the center of attention.
“What is that?” Evie asked, pointing to the vibrant pink liquid in Emma’s glass.
“It’s a sugar cookie. Emma invented them. And they are to thank for my current predicament.” Grace smiled as she sat back and let her hand caress her belly.
“And… you’re welcome! Normally, it’s a shot that we all do to kick things off right on girls’ night, but I’ve been working on a cocktail version that isn’t quite as strong.” Emma took another sip before handing it to Daisy. “What do you think?”
Daisy took a tiny sip and started coughing, her eyes watering as she gave a thumbs-up. “Yeah, Em. I don’t think that’s less strong than the shot.”
“Oh well. Seb will get lucky tonight.” Her shrug had the girls all laughing.
“I think all the guys know that tonight is going to end in them getting lucky.”
Evie immediately regretted taking a sip of her water. Her lungs burned as she choked on the cold liquid.
“Oh my god, are you alright?” Abby patted her back.
“Fine,” she gasped. “Sam and I have… I mean there’s been one time…”
“Oh, I think we just assumed he was helping you out with your…needs. If you two are dating, what’s the hold up?” Daisy chuckled into her drink.
Why was it so hot in the dang building all of a sudden?
“Is it weird that we’re together?”
“Evie, are you kidding me?” Abby grabbed her hand and squeezed. “I love that you are with Sam. You’re exactly what I’ve been hoping he’d have in his life. The only thing you have to promise me is that if it doesn’t work out, we get custody of you.”
“Custody of me?”
“Oh yeah,” Grace giggled. “Don’t you remember? Once you’re in our girl group, there is no getting out. You’re part of the sisterhood. Stuck with us for the long run.”
“But Sam is your brother. And you all are friends with him.”
“Eh, he has the guys. He’ll be fine.” Abby shrugged. “Besides, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Hell, I heard it in his voice the very first time I saw him after you started working at the ranch. That man is in just about as deep as he can get and I doubt he’ll ever let go.”
“Speaking of being in deep,” Emma smiled. “Tell us more about how he helped take care of your frustrations ?”
“Oh god, Em!” Abby’s face flushed. “I’m all for it, but maybe I don’t want to hear all about it .”
“I would never share…”
“No! You have to!” Emma interrupted. “It’s like law number one in this group. Abby can do a drink run for us if she can’t deal. Besides, she had no problem spilling the beans about her man and his piercings, and poor Grace had to listen to it.”
“That is a little different, Em. I’m not John’s sister. And Jackson has told me every embarrassing story ever involving John. I probably have a few I could tell Abby that she hasn’t heard yet. ”
“Potatoes, tomatoes.”
“That’s not the saying.” Grace snorted into her lemonade.
“I’ll say this. Sam is incredible. He makes me feel seen in a way I haven’t ever felt before. He’s so protective of me. He stocked the office with my favorite snacks. He insists on driving me anywhere I need to go. And he’s been making me take my shoes off in the office so I don’t trip on things. It makes me laugh, but honestly, I feel so lucky.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“Are you giving away all my secrets over here?” Sam whispered into her ear. She jumped at the closeness, earning a slight chuckle from him. “Sorry, Bluebell. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s fine.”
“Here,” he held out his hand. “Stand up for a second.”
She threaded her fingers through his as he helped her stand, then watched as he sat in her seat. The next thing she knew, he was tugging her hand down, her body falling on top of his.
“How are you feeling?” he whispered into her ear.
“I’m okay. The girls helped take my mind off of… what happened.”
“Hank said he’s going to be in lockup for the rest of the week and he’ll hold him over the weekend. There’s enough there from him putting his hands on you tonight to do it. But I told him you’d be okay showing him your phone tomorrow.”
“Whatever he needs. I just want to make sure he can’t come around again.”
“I’ll make sure he can’t, Bluebell. I promise.”
Evie’s body relaxed as he wrapped his arms around her, letting his palms rest on her belly.
“Aw, you two are so cute together!” Emma cooed. “Where is my man? I want him to do that to me! ”
“No,” Daisy laughed. “You sit on his lap and we all know how that will end!”
Evie felt her face flush.
Emma rolled her eyes at her best friend. “Oh hush. Like you and Hank haven’t had your share of frisky moments in public?”
“I should have known better than to come over here without the other guys,” Sam groaned.
“So, tell us more about how chivalrous our favorite cowboy is.”
“He has a thing for carrying me.” Evie let her hand rest on Sam’s arm, but he went stiff beneath her touch. When she turned to look at his face, he was staring straight at his sister, who looked ashen all of a sudden.
“Sam…”
“Abby. Don’t say another word,” he growled.
The women all grew quiet.
What in the world was going on? The look on Sam’s face was nothing short of pure fury. She’d never seen him look that angry. Not when his cattle had been killed. Not when she’d showed him the discrepancies in the accounting books. Not just a few minutes before, when Dr. Bowman had cornered her.
“Are you okay?” She asked, covering his hands with hers.
“I’m fine. My little sister sometimes just doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut.”
“I don’t think you need to speak to her like that.” John stepped up next to Abby. The tension between everyone was almost unbearable.
“What she’s about to say isn’t her story to tell.”
“I was there that damn day, Sam. Remember? And I know for a fact that after everything, you know you’re not supposed to be doing anything too strenuous. Your heart?— ”
“Abby. I swear to God, I will walk out of here right now if you don’t quit it.”
“What about your heart?” Evie asked. It felt like the entire bar had gone quiet as she waited for the answer, her own blood whooshing in her ears. Daisy and Grace gave her sympathetic smiles, while Emma sat back and shook her head. “What’s going on? What about his heart, Abby?”
“You haven’t told her?”
“It’s my business to tell her when I’m ready.”
“Knowing you, you’ll never be ready. She works with you all day every day, Sam. You’re saying the two of you are dating! If your heart stops again, you need her to know what to do.”
Your heart stops again.
Your heart stops… again.
The words repeated in her mind so fast she felt dizzy.
His heart stopped beating. His heart stopped beating and it could happen again. He’d told her how his father passed. But Sam was healthy. He’d promised her.
“What does that mean?” she whispered.
“Evie, I’m fine.”
Nausea overwhelmed her. How many times had he put himself at risk when he was helping her? How many times had she felt cherished when his love for carrying her could have put so much strain on his heart that he…what? Died? Died again?
She’d told him about her parents. About the way they kept her dad’s illness hidden from her. How she’d been blindsided when they died. The heat of every eye in the room being on her made her chest painfully tight.
Her mouth went dry, save for the sick feeling making her swallow thickly. She pushed off his chest, hating the way her whole body felt the absence of his touch. “I…will you excuse me, please? I need to use the restroom.”
“Evie, I should have told you—” Sam’s hand landed on her arm, but unlike all the other times he’d touched her, it no longer felt safe. She pulled away again, afraid to look him in the eye.
“Don’t touch me.” Her words felt bitter on her own tongue. “I just need a minute, Sam. Please.”
“I can’t believe you just did that.”
There were more times in his life than he could count where his younger sister had made him mad. But he’d never felt like he was feeling then. Like all his blood had drained from his body and was replaced with fire that was eating him alive from the inside.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell her yet! You’re fucking her and she doesn’t even know about the precautions you need to take. About the risks you’re taking to be with her!”
“Abby!” Grace gasped.
“You had no right, Dove. None at all. You better hope like hell she’s okay, because I won’t ever be able to look at you again if she isn’t.” Sam pushed away from the table at the same time John moved towards him.
“Sam, it wasn?—”
“I get that you love my sister. And I know that you only want to protect her, but she is in the wrong here. Not me. Go make sure she’s okay. I’m going to do the same for my woman.”
John nodded, clearly wanting to say more, but choosing to walk away. That was the best decision. Sam’s vision was nearly red with how pissed he was at Abby, but he knew he owned a lot of the blame for how upset Evie had looked as she scurried away from him.
No. He owned all of the blame.
Fuck! She’d looked downright terrified when he reached out to stop her from walking away. It flipped his stomach and made him even more desperate to put things back into place after his sister had decided to blow it all up.
He stood outside the women’s restroom door waiting for Evie to come out.
And he waited.
And waited.
Twenty fucking minutes went by, and Sam fought against every instinct screaming through his body to go in there and check on her. The only thing keeping him tethered to the Earth was knowing that women kept going in and coming out. Surely, if something was wrong with Evie, someone would be calling for help.
So he waited some more, chewing the inside corner of his mouth raw. Praying with each passing moment that the next time the door opened, his Bluebell would be the one to walk out.
And when it finally happened, his heart fell through his body all the way to his feet.
Shit, she looked so fucking upset. And he hated himself for being the reason for it. Her eyes were red, and her face puffy. She’d clearly been crying, all because he’d been too afraid to be vulnerable and just tell her the truth.
Her gaze drifted to the floor. “I don’t want to make this a big thing, Sam, but I’d like to go home.” She shook her head. “Back to the ranch.”
“I’ll take you.”
“No. These are all your friends here, you should stay. I’ll go by myself.”
“I’m not letting you leave upset, especially after what happened earlier and then with what Abby said. Come here.” Sam pushed gently on her back and headed down the darkened hallway towards the employee exit. Once outside the door, he walked her over to a bench on the side of the building. “Sit. ”
“I don’t want to be out here with you,” she whispered. “But I have to know. Are you okay now? Will you be okay in the future?”
“Yes. I’m fine now.”
She nodded. “I’m happy to hear that. Now, I need to go.”
“You’re upset. Sit, please. I won’t try to hold your hand. Hell, I’ll stand ten feet away if you want me to, but I owe you an apology and I’d like you to sit so we can talk about what Abby said in there without everyone else listening in.”
“No.” There was no emotion behind the words. Nothing. She refused to even look at him.
Evie typed something furiously into her phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Derrick’s in town. I asked him for a ride back to the ranch. I’m just waiting for him to reply.”
Like hell was he going to let Evie leave with another man.
“You’re not going back to the ranch with Derrick.”
“You don’t get to hold me hostage here, Sam.”
“Yell at me.” He shut his eyes, letting the words come out no louder than a whisper.
“What? No.”
“Yes. Yell at me. Tell me I’m a bastard for keeping this from you. But don’t just leave. Don’t stop talking to me. Let me fix this.”
“Fix something built on incomplete truths?” she scoffed. “I’m not going to yell at you when you have a heart condition, Samuel. One that, from the sounds of it, is very serious. I’d just like to go back to the ranch now, please.”
“Evie…”
“You don’t have any idea, do you?” she whimpered.
“I—”
“You don’t see how humiliating that was for me. The only person without all the information. You know, that first time Sylvie invited me to dinner, Abby asked her how much salt she put in the meat. Saying something about how it wasn’t good for ‘his heart’. I was so worried about John. God, I’m such a fool.”
Sam sat back, hating the pain that washed over Evie’s stunning features.
“All my life, I’ve been the girl who goes out of her way to make everyone a priority. But I’m never the priority, because I’m not worthy of that. Who would ever pick me ? I mean, I had to go and get pregnant on my own. If that doesn’t scream forever alone I don’t know what would.”
She swiped at a tear. He wanted to stop her there. To kiss those tears off her face and promise to never be the cause of any more. But he couldn’t. Sam knew she needed to get through whatever she was about to say.
“I’m finally okay with being all alone in life. I finally decide to make my dreams come true on my own and then my world falls apart. I lost my job. My reputation is destroyed. I get this insane idea to move to Texas, where this cranky cowboy hires me and… surprise! He warms up to me. I hate being vulnerable. I hate relying on other people, but I lean into it with him. For once in my life, I let him treat me like I’m precious. Like I’m a treasure. Like I’m something breakable. I trust him with things I’ve never told another soul. I start to give him my heart.”
Her voice shook as she continued. “Except, come to find out, I could have literally stopped his. I could have killed him every time he swept me up into his arms. Because he kept a secret from me. Just like my parents did.”
The cold slap of her words poured over him. Fuck, he felt like the biggest asshole in the world. Of course, he’d seen the parallels between what Evie’s parents had done and what he was hiding, but he was selfish. He just wanted one person in his life to treat him the way the world saw him before his heart changed everything .
“Do you know how embarrassing it was to hear your sister gasp when I mentioned you like to carry me? She gasped like it was the most horrific thing she’d ever heard. You carrying me.”
“Evie. No. No. That isn’t?—”
“Yes, Sam.” The tears that had been sparkling in her eyes since she started speaking broke free, and he had to fight the urge to try and wipe them from her face. “God. We had sex ! I could have killed you then, too.”
She was spiraling, burying her face in her hands with the embarrassment and shame that he deserved to be carrying. Not her.
“I’ll tell you everything about my heart, but you have to promise not to ever talk that way about yourself again. Never, Evie. You are precious. You are breakable. You are a treasure. I want you as my partner. I want you to know you are safe to be vulnerable around me. I fucked up because of my own issues. Because I didn’t want to be seen as weak, or lacking. None of this was because of you.”
“I clearly thought ‘moving towards forever’ meant something different.”
He swallowed down his nerves. “You and the baby are so important to me.”
She shook her head. “I’m such a fool for thinking it would ever be different for me. For us. I’m just a fool…”
His hands moved to frame her face. They were shaking with the rage he felt at himself for hurting her so deeply. There was no part of him that ever wanted to be the reason why tears were in her eyes.
“You’re not a fool because I was a coward. Let me make this as clear as I can, Bluebell. Carrying you has never been a problem. My sister’s overreaction is her own issue. I’ve been cleared for every normal activity in my life. Every. Single. One. So don’t sit there for a second and think me carrying you was ever putting my life at risk. That having the best fucking sex of my life was ever a threat to my health. It wasn’t. I’ve never even been a lick out of breath from the physical exertion. Out of breath because you’re so goddamn beautiful? Yes. Out of breath because you let me feel Jellybean kick and wiggle in your belly and it’s the most special thing I’ve ever experienced before?” He nodded, the truth in his words searing into his mind. “Out of breath because you and I were moving towards something exciting and beautiful? Something that made me want to get out of bed in the morning? Absolutely.”
“We can’t ever do that again. I don’t want…” She moved and winced, her hand rubbing over her belly. Sam placed his hand over top of hers.
“Is it Jellybean?”
“Yeah.” She moved her hand and pushed Sam’s away.
“Evie, I?—”
A familiar black truck with the Red River Ranch logo on the side pulled into the parking lot and Sam wanted to curse. Fucking Derrick taking Evie home. At least he knew she would be safe, but she shouldn’t be going anywhere with him. Sam had royally fucked everything up.
“There’s Derrick.” She stood and moved away from Sam, plastering a smile on her face as the truck approached.
“You don’t have to go back with him. I’ll take you back myself right now. There’s still so much we need to talk about.”
“We’ve already been over this. Your sister wants you here. All your friends are back inside waiting on you. Go. It’ll just keep being awkward if I’m there. And it’ll be even worse if you leave with me right now. Go, Sam. I’m fine.”
Everything about her, from the way she was standing too rigid, to how the corners of her eyes crinkled like she was in pain, screamed that she was anything but fine.
The truck pulled to a stop in front of them and Derrick hopped out of the driver's seat, his eyes darting between Sam and Evie, clearly picking up on the strained atmosphere between the two of them.
“Sam.” Derrick removed his hat and smoothed a hand through his hair. At least his ranch hand had the decency to look nervous.
“Derrick. Thanks for giving Evie a ride back to the ranch. You make sure she gets back safe and sound.”
“Of course, Boss Man. It’s no problem. You ready to go, Evie? I just need to finish sending off this text and we can take off.”
Evie turned towards the truck, not looking at Sam again before she started walking away. “I’ll see you tomorrow in the office, Sam.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow.”