Chapter 17
Cameron
For Juli’s sake, the breakfast had a variety of food, including all the things on her list of must-haves. While she stuffed her face at the feast, she made it clear she needed steak fries, a brownie, and a Bushwacker—not necessarily in that order—before she leaves.
Tomorrow.
My heart twists at the thought. I can’t decode her thoughts about her leaving tomorrow, though there have been statements of not wanting to return to reality. That could have everything to do with being on vacation or being at the resort itself. Which stings a little.
Erica’s message rings loudly in my head: “She doesn’t do casual.” I can’t make head nor tail of it. Does that mean she—Juli—is more than a fling? Does it mean she—Erica—knows what this actually is? How could she? I’m half of it and haven’t the faintest idea.
Thing is, I’m good with casual. Casual is my middle name.
I don’t have much time for a relationship, especially one of a long-distance nature.
On top of that, things would never work between Juli and me.
She deserves someone who can give her the world, someone who will treat her like the princess she is, even if she doesn’t believe it herself.
I can’t be that guy. I’ve got nothing to offer her.
I’m only now getting to a place of being comfortable with not having to worry about my finances.
“Penny for your thoughts.” Juli’s sweet voice draws me out of my head. Good thing too, because I need a reprieve.
“We’ve got a lot of daylight left. We should take advantage of it. Considering we’re abstaining from sex until later.”
My comments intrigue Juli. “What did you have in mind?”
“Hadn’t gotten further than suggesting it. What are you in the mood for?”
She ponders the question, her brows creasing in concentration, making her more adorable than usual. I can’t help but smile, wondering what’s going through her mind.
“I don’t have a preference. I have to pack later tonight. Among other things on the agenda we’ve previously discussed.”
If tomorrow weren’t the end of whatever this is, I’d take her sightseeing at all my favorite places. Show her the rest of the island. But right now, none of that matters, seeing as she’s leaving. Unless she suggests it.
“Let’s say goodbye and go for a walk. Start there.”
So we do.
It’s tearful between her and Erica, who won’t see each other for a while. Jonah thanks me profusely again for my assistance yesterday. When I hug Erica, she lets me off easy, and by that I mean with no comments or suggestions, which I very much appreciate.
I wave to the staff as we scoot out of the restaurant. Outside on the sidewalk, Juli fits her hand into mine. Goose bumps jump up and down my arm at the perfect fit.
It means nothing. Don’t read into it.
For over an hour, we walk around the outer grounds of the resort, onto one of the walking trails.
Our conversation is low-key, talk of what’s coming up in the next few weeks for each of us in our jobs.
She’ll be diving into new projects once she’s home.
Since it’s not our busy time, I’ll have some downtime, something I usually cherish. Come tomorrow, not so much.
The third time we loop around the building where she’s staying, she leads us over to it.
“Want to sit on the balcony? We could bring out my laptop and watch a movie.”
“Sounds great.”
Sounds more like torture.
A small smile graces her lips. Even she’s not convinced it’s a great idea.
Upstairs, Juli steals into the bedroom, returning in comfy shorts and one of my Whispering Tide T-shirts, her laptop in her hand. My cock weeps because he wants action. Fuck the consequences.
“We should have grabbed some beer or a bottle of wine or something on our way up. All we have is boring water.”
“Trying to get me drunk, cutie?”
She points her finger my way, an excited gleam in her eye. “I approve.”
My brows furrow. “To getting drunk?”
Her head shakes. “No, the other thing.”
I scroll back to what else I said. “Cutie?”
Excited, she claps her hands. “Yep. Bingo. That will work.”
It kind of slipped out, sort of the way the original one did the first time. At this point, I’m not sure it matters. However, I won’t let her know that.
“Cutie it is.”
After a small debate, we settle on The Greatest Showman. In no way was I in the mood for anything romantic or comedic. A musical is the perfect middle ground.
“We should order popcorn and drinks,” she comments as we’re setting up the balcony. The laptop rests on the small table, our chairs positioned to view it.
“I think you have a plan to get drunk today.”
She brought a blanket from the bed and draped it over her chair. Adding a pillow for comfort, she’s quiet for a moment as she settles into her chair. “Maybe booze will take away the sting,” she finally murmurs so softly I almost miss it.
“The sting of what?” I don’t mean to voice the question, but it discharges anyway.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Her arms cross over her chest. “Do liquor stores deliver? Maybe something different than what room service might serve, and like one or two for now because we have a date with a Bushwacker later tonight.”
“If you can find condoms, you can find liquor.” I make myself comfortable in the chair, but soon realize her idea of the blanket and pillow is great. Even with the cushion, this outdoor balcony chair isn’t meant for watching movies.
“I am savvy like that. Can I borrow your phone?”
Standing up, I hand it over. “Oh, don’t forget to remove your credit card from the delivery app.
Otherwise, sorry, not sorry if you get billed for random deliveries.
” I shrug nonchalantly. “Be right back. Get us something good.” The heavy slider slinks open, the cool air a direct contrast to the humid air on the balcony, perhaps a metaphor for the crossroads of my life.
Juli’s taken the only blanket, so I settle for a few pillows, a hoodie, and a towel. It’s not like I need anything for warmth.
Back outside, Juli’s attention is lost in my phone, her brow wrinkled in concentration. “Find anything good?”
“Yep, though it’s going to be a little while. I say we queue it up, and when it gets here, we’ll pause for drinks and snacks.”
“I like the way you think.” She hands me back my phone, which I put down on the table by the laptop. Making my chair as comfortable as possible, I relax into it.
“Come closer.” The demand is subtle, but I obey anyway. Being closer to her isn’t any burden. When I’m in place, she smiles, mumbling, “Much better.”
While I agree wholeheartedly, my heart aches knowing that after tomorrow, “close” and Juli Langley won’t be a reality.
Forty minutes later, the alert sounds for our delivery. Juli hops out of her chair, pauses the movie, and ventures inside. A few minutes later, she pops her head out of the door. “I gotta make the popcorn, so it’ll be a few minutes.”
“‘Kay.”
The image of Zac Efron and Zendaya pauses on the screen. The part when they sing about being together behind closed doors. It’s oddly fitting, even if their situation hardly rivals ours. But there’s a lot of truth in it as well.
While Juli’s been at the resort, we’ve fit.
Had the best time hanging out, laughing, enjoying each other’s company.
Connected on every level. However, when she leaves tomorrow, the fantasy dies.
Because that’s exactly what this is—a weeklong fantasy while she’s been on vacation.
Our relationship has no roots in reality, and the sooner I accept it, the sooner I’ll be able to push this week out of my head.
Exactly like I had to do over a decade ago.
Let go of the one time I had Juliana Langley.
This repeat performance was better than I could have imagined if I had entertained thoughts of us being together again. And no doubt, if we find ourselves in a similar situation in the future, it would be as explosive. It’s easy to pretend with Juli.
“Why are you scowling?” Juli stands in front of my chair, a bowl of delicious popcorn in her hand.
Schooling my expression, I gaze up at her. And try not to fall deeper for the woman I’ve crushed on for the better part of my life. Swallowing, I attempt to dislodge the lump of emotion gathering in my throat, matching the weight of dread in my abdomen. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Her shoulders slump as she sighs. “There weren’t any expectations on it, and yet I can’t seem to think the end is going to be easy.”
Am I a selfish bastard to be delighted she feels the same way?
Yes. Absolutely.
Does that mean I’ll change my thinking?
Nope.
With the bowl of popcorn in my lap, I watch as she pushes a strand of wayward blond hair behind her ears.
The joy has been drained from her, and for that, I feel guilty.
Maybe it was a mistake to spend this week together.
Maybe we should have left the past in the past and been adults and not gotten naked together.
“You got drinks?” I wonder instead of addressing the elephant in the room.
Her expression lights up. “Oh, yeah. Be right back.” She scurries off inside again, leaving me with popcorn and a heavy heart.
Suck it up, Fairbanks. Juliana Langley won’t ever be more than a pipe dream. Accept it.
“But I don’t want to.” The acidic words leave an unpleasant taste in my mouth. Thankfully, Juli reappears, two bottles of beer dangling from her fingers.
“Back in Georgia, this is my go-to when I need to drown my sorrows.”
Not addressing her comment directly, I utter, “That’s a big ask of such a small bottle.”
Her eyes shift between me and her chair, she mumbles, “Fuck it all,” and the next thing I know, she’s climbing on my lap.
I have to readjust the bowl of popcorn and my legs to accommodate her, but you won’t hear me complaining.
It’s uncomfortable as hell, but also the only place in the world I want to be right now.
Somewhat settled into place, she leans down and unpauses the movie, her back leaning against my chest.