42. Ezra
Ezra
To be honest, I didn’t know what the fuck just happened. I promised I would never leave Eshe, and I meant it. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to follow her. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, comfort her.
My world was slowly orbiting Eshe more and more. I followed her to my chamber, and once we passed my threshold, I closed the heavy door with a lock.
The towel was on the floor as Eshe lifted a brown dress over her head. Three long strides and I found myself behind her, tearing the dress from her hands.
“You won’t be needing this.”
She twirled around, her body still glistening from the bath. “Why not?”
“Waste of fabric. I’ll rip it off you if there’s anything but my hands on you.”
A shudder ran down her spine, and I took a step further, snaking my hands around her naked waist. She let out a soft gasp, and I could feel her trembling where she stood.
Her breasts were hard points toward me, and I stood with one hand around her waist and the other palm barely grazing over her nipples.
It’d been too long. They fit perfectly in my palm, molded just for me.
Her lips parted, and I took her mouth in mine.
It was like finally arriving home. She let out a sigh as if she felt it too, and I brushed my lips down her jaw, her neck, her wet, glistening shoulder.
Her arms went around my neck, pulling me closer.
I felt like I could finally breathe, knowing she was in my arms again.
She was warm. Naked. Safe. Bending her slightly backward, I leaned further, taking her right breast into my mouth.
Eshe cried out as I bit down, her hand pulling my head closer to her, and my tongue danced around her tip.
She was so perfect. The way she responded so well to me.
She wanted me, even though she never admitted it all those nights ago in Tranah.
I released my teeth and pressed gentle kisses on the pain I had caused. Her breath became shaky.
Dropping to my knees, my lips and hands trailed the length of her body down to her calves.
I watched her from below, her lowered eyes on mine. Her hands caressed my head as if she couldn’t get enough of me.
“I adore you, Eshe.” I swallowed the vulnerability. I’d never been so raw before. And I felt raw. Exposed.
Her eyes glistened, and her brows crumpled.
My hand wrapped around her right foot, and I placed more kisses up her inner leg, my stubble only adding more effect to her breathing. I raised myself slightly, lifting her leg over my shoulder as I continued trailing my affection on her inner thigh.
I whispered between kisses, “You are perfect.”
I allowed my tongue to move closer. I could feel her heartbeat against my lips, and she writhed above me.
The moment my lips pulled her into me, barely grazing her with my teeth, she arched against the tapestry on the stone wall.
Tongue searching, teeth biting, sucking anything for the little whimpers she let out in my room.
They were perfect. Everything about her was.
I was getting hard just by the sound of her voice, just by her taste, and watching her squirm in pleasure.
“Ezra,” she moaned. “Ezra, I—”
I kept her from moving away, wrapping my tongue around her, her thighs clenching me as she cried out.
I didn’t let go until she was nearly limp with heavy breathing.
Her arms wrapped around my neck as I pulled her close and brought her to my bed.
This woman was a stark contrast to the woman fighting for revenge.
In here, her guard was down. In here, she trusted me.
But this woman wasn’t satiated. She bit her lower lip, watching me as if she wanted to devour me.
“You don’t get anything more until you admit it.”
Admit you want me, my eyes told her. I already knew the answer, but this little game was over.
Her breath quickened, and she couldn’t hide her smile.
“Say it.”
“I do want you. I want all of you,” she admitted, her eyes trailing down my body. My trousers tightened around my hips as she pulled my arms closer to her. “I demand all of you, Ezra.”
“Be careful what you demand, little warrior. There’s a beast inside of me that wants to tear into you.”
Ruin you, devour you, and release what I’d been thinking of doing to you thousands of times over the past years was what I didn’t say.
Wondering what it would be like to feel Eshe’s entire body.
The nights I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t get her out of my head.
The anger I felt within myself was released in years of fighting because of that tragic night.
I reluctantly decided I wanted her safe instead of with me.
And I thought she was safe, away from the desert countries, away from me.
I didn’t think I’d ever forgive myself for making such a foolish mistake of letting her go to her enemy.
“Unleash him. Unleash every part of him that wants me.” She trailed her kisses down my neck and whispered into my ear. She tucked her fingers into the seam of my waistband.
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Eshe.” I placed my hands beneath her thighs, pulled her onto my waist, and hesitated for a moment.
“I know exactly what I’m asking for,” she whispered against my lips, and then hers fell on mine. With the warmth of her mouth, feeling like sweet honey, I let out a groan.
I dropped us down on my bed. Her fingers grazed along my head, causing shudders to run down my body. I feasted on her swollen lips.
Eshe exhaled and pulled me even closer. The air was turning electric, hot, and heavy.
Her nails raked down my shoulders and down my spine, clawing me, leaving shivers in their wake. I felt her need, her every want, her obsessive possessiveness, and I matched her on every touch. She let out a moan when I pressed my hips against her, and I almost came apart.
It felt too unreal. Here, now. With her.
Hold it together, Ezra.
I placed my hands on both sides of her shoulders, my fingers pressed on the sheepskins. I cleared my throat.
“Have you ever…?”
Her kisses froze, and her hands slipped from my body. I could feel her legs wanting to close. This was vulnerable for her. More than what we were just doing.
Fuck.
The column of her throat moved up and down. She shook her head. “No, I’ve never.” Even with the fire glowing dimly to the side of us, I could see the redness in her flushed face.
I took a deep breath, and my head hung above hers. I could just—
No, I couldn’t. Not like this. Not now.
Eshe sensed my thoughts because she lifted my chin and caught my eye. “I want this.”
I bit her finger, and she gripped me forward. Her lips took mine again, but I pulled myself back.
“No, Eshe. You deserve more than this. I’m going to hate myself for doing it, but maybe—”
“Don’t act like you know what’s best for me.
” Her voice cracked, and she paused. “It’s always been you.
In a way, hating you and believing you had killed my family kept you alive in my head—justified the reasons why you lived in there with me, every day.
But there was a part of me that prayed you didn’t…
You think you have missed eight years of my life?
I’m here to tell you that you haven’t missed a day inside my head since then.
A part of me hoped that somehow, someway, you’d be mine despite everything I believed.
You were behind every thought, every dream of mine, Ezra.
You’ve wrapped yourself around my mind…” She paused, and I realized I was holding my breath.
“Please don’t push me away. I don’t think—” She swallowed audibly.
“—I can’t handle it if you do it again.”
I’d been pushing her away since the moment we met.
Her words were doing something funny to my chest, causing it to ache.
I lowered my lips and pressed them on hers gently.
She opened her mouth, and I touched her tongue with mine.
My throat had closed up, and I couldn’t say a word after what she had said.
No one has ever expressed such vulnerability or care for me like this before.
Her words breathed fire into my blood, and I needed to show her that I felt the same way. That everything made sense to me when she came back into my life. I was lost without her for so long. I lived a life I couldn’t even recognize myself in.
For the first time in my life, I couldn’t find the words to tell her that I could never push her away, that she was never going to live without me.
ESHE
My heart never felt so free as when Ezra pressed his mouth to mine.
I felt dizzy with his gentleness. I never imagined it would be quite like this, not in all the years I had kept him tucked away in my mind.
My admiration for him was locked in chains, something I couldn’t be free to explore and touch.
It was always out of reach. Not possible.
But here he was now, his hand brushing up my naked thigh. I could feel my heart beating in my throat as electricity shot up my core.
We fought hard. We argued relentlessly, but right now it didn’t feel that way. Right now, our bodies were in perfect harmony with each other.
He was touching me so softly, and at this rate, he was going to take me tomorrow.
“Ezra, please,” I begged as he took his time under my ear, sending thousands of sensations down my body. Down my legs.
I braced my leg between his and flipped us onto his back. My lessons with Garamgai were finally paying off with Ezra. I lie on him now, bracing his warm body underneath mine.
Much better.
Now that I was in control, I lowered my face to his chest. His hands glided on my hips.
I straddled him between my legs, and my core felt more alive than it ever had been.
I could feel his length beneath me, and Ezra pushed slightly, and a moan slipped past my lips. My head fell forward onto his shoulder.
I could feel his smile pressed against my cheek. “So breakable.”