Chapter 11
"I'm standing here asking you to love me anyway."
Asha stood still, his hands palming Sarah's face, his eyes locked with hers, her words echoing in his head.
"I can do that."
And he could. He could love this woman until his last breath. He wasn't quite there yet but...
"I was half in love with you before this trip Sarah, and I've only gotten closer to all the way in love since we first stood in this room with you in nothing but a towel."
Her gaze bore into his. He saw the moment she believed him. And then he saw her smile. "I know you wanted to take our time, get to know each other before we took things to the next level, but I want you to make love to me Asha. I want to know what it's like to be loved by you that way."
"Are you sure? I'm happy to wait—"
"Get in the shower and wash that stink off. We're staying in." She gave him a shove toward the bathroom. "We can order room service later."
He took the hint and ducked into the bathroom.
He'd planned to wait until they were back in Winter Lake before he moved them passed a few kisses to a deeper physical relationship.
Asha knew Sarah was serious about him—about them—but he feared the fact they were essentially trapped on a ship on the ocean and sharing a cabin they could be rushing.
Then again, they'd been moving toward this point for close to three years. He had to take her words, her wants, for what they were, hers. Even if he wanted to keep pushing the brakes so he could check she was okay with where they were, what they were doing.
He was protecting her. And by protecting her, he was protecting himself.
It was instinct, this need to take care of her. He'd never forgive himself if he hurt her in any way and he already had one failed marriage under his belt. A repeat would not be acceptable. Especially with Sarah.
Which meant he needed to be careful but also, he needed to be open.
He'd tell her his fears because he expected her to tell him hers.
"Are you in the shower yet? I don't hear the water running!" Sarah yelled as she banged on the door.
Chuckling, he stripped and stepped into the shower.
Turning the tap with one hand, he grabbed a squirt of body wash with the other.
Lathering up his hands he made quick work of washing away the days sweat and dirt.
His cock was hard, had been the majority of the last two weeks but he ignored it and finished cleaning up.
He hadn't had this many erections since he was a teenager. Hopefully the prolonged sexual frustration hadn't done any damage. The last thing he wanted was to have erectile issues when he finally climbed into bed with Sarah.
Switching off the water, he reached for a towel when the bathroom door opened. He stopped mid-stretch when Sarah walked in, naked as the day she was born and hung up her towel.
"Oh, good, you're done. Here." She passed him a towel and left.
"Ah, thanks?" She hadn't even looked at him. Not really. A cursory glance at most. Asha wasn't sure if he was impressed with her restraint or offended.
She'd asked him to make love to her and when she finally got to see him sans clothes she hadn't even looked. Frowning, he ran the towel over his chest.
Laughter coming for the cabin had him looking through the still open door. Sarah stood just outside the bathroom laughing herself to tears.
"Your face," she choked out through her cackles. "Priceless."
Narrowing his eyes, he realized she hadn't looked at him directly, but she would have gotten a good look through the mirror that took up one whole wall of the bathroom. "You think it's funny?"
Finally getting herself under control, she asked, "You honestly think I wouldn't look at you now you're finally naked in front of me?"
"No. Which was why I was confused." He stepped out of the shower cubicle and tossed the towel onto the basin. With measured steps, he left the bathroom and stalked the naked woman he'd wanted to get his hands on for years. "Are you sure?"
In answer, she hopped up on the bed and laid back. "More than."
"Fuck!" He stopped, only a foot away from where he wanted to be but it felt like miles. "I don't have—"
"I'm on the pill and had a full medical in July. I haven't been with anyone since before I moved to Winter Lake. If you're okay with going without condoms we can."
"Sarah."
He'd thought about hooking up while on this trip, but he hadn't done anything about protection. That spoke volumes for how much he wanted to be with anyone other than Sarah. And now she was offering him the ultimate trust.
"I'm clean. It's been about the same length of time for me too."
"Okay. So, the birth control and health talk are done. Now." She opened her arms, her hands making a come here gesture. "Let's get to the good stuff."
Asha laughed. She'd turned what could have been a difficult or strained conversation into a simple exchange of information and added a dose of humor on top. Every minute he spent with her he fell deeper.
He hadn't lied. He was almost all the way in love with her and he couldn't explain it—didn't want to explain it—he wanted to live it.
Wanted to live his life with her.
Wanted to marry her.
Wanted to give her those babies she wanted.
He hadn't even been inside her yet and he knew what would happen once he'd had her this first time. He'd never be able to let her go. He'd be all the way in love with her.
Hell, he was probably lying to himself and was already all the way in love with her.
"Marry me." The words fell from his lips before they formed in his head.
"W-what?" She pushed herself up onto her elbows. "Did you just—"
"Yes." He placed one knee on the bed and leaned over her. "Marry me. Have babies with me."
"Asha. We haven't even—"
“Fucking you won't change how I feel, what I want.
" He cupped her face with one hand, pressed the other into the bed beside her and lowered his head until their lips with a breath apart.
"I love you. I think I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I want to build a family with you and raise them in Winter Lake. Sarah Adair, will you marry me?"
"I. You're serious." Her gaze went from shocked to happy. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you and have babies with you."
"I'm not getting any younger. I want those babies now."
"You want—" Laughter knocked her back on the bed and he followed her down. Pressed the length of his body over hers.
"We can fly home via Vegas."
"No. We can talk to someone. Get married here. On the ship."
"I'm tempted to drag you out of bed and go do it before you change your mind." He brushed her lips with his. "But I think we'll seal the deal here first then go find out what we have to do to get married tomorrow."
"New Year's Eve."
"Perfect. We'll start the new year how we mean to spend it. Together."