Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Christmas Morning
Jerome
It’s only been a few days since I found my boy, and yet, I struggle with thinking about what life was like before him.
He fits so perfectly into every piece of my life.
While we haven’t gone back to work yet, we’ve already discussed shared lunches, after work dates, and nights snuggled up in one of our places.
Though, if I have it my way, we won’t have to be apart too far into the new year. My lease will be up in the spring. If all goes well, then I intend to see if my boy is okay with gaining a live-in Daddy.
“Merry Christmas, Daddy.” His raspy voice shoots through me as I turn to my side to face him. I’ve been up for a while, but I didn’t want to wake him just yet. For a while I watched him sleep. Then I got lost in my thoughts about our future and how to make it all come together.
Now, I realize none of it is as important as the groggy, adorable man in bed with me. All the planning in the world can wait. I want to be in this moment with him. Want to soak it all up.
“Merry Christmas, cookie.”
He giggles. “Christmas cookie… You so silly, Daddy.”
I pepper his face with kisses, which of course, only makes him laugh harder. The sound fills me with a sense of contentment. This is where I’m supposed to be. This is my future.
“Ready to get some food in your belly and open some presents?”
My words send him shooting up in bed. The sheet falls away, revealing a chest covered in love bites and beard burn. There’s no stopping how hard I get at the sight.
Claimed.
Mine.
FUCK.
“How did you get me presents? We’ve… we’ve been together all the time. You didn’t have time to get anything. I mean, I didn’t get you anything, Daddy.” His lips tilt down in the cutest frown I’ve ever seen.
“Cookie,” I say softly, making sure his focus is on me before I continue. “Remember how I said I got your letter to Santa?”
He nods.
“I thought about your letter before I approached you at the party. There were hints in there about who you were. I made a few assumptions based on them. The presents were purchased before we even met.”
“What if things hadn’t worked out though? Then you’d have spent your money for nothing.”
Moving up onto my knees, I position myself in front of him. He needs to hear everything I’m saying so there’s no mistaking how I feel. No mistaking how much I’ve already come to care.
“It wouldn’t have mattered to me outside of the loss I’d feel at not getting the chance to be your Daddy.
You captivated me from the first line of your letter.
If all I’d ever been was a Secret Santa type of figure in your life, then that would have been fine too.
Sure, I wanted—still want— more. I won’t ever force you though. ”
“You’re not forcing me!” His hands lift to cup my cheeks. “You’d never force me. I know that.”
Relief moves though me, a gentle breeze of calm after the sea of chaos. It will forever be his choice if we’re together. Still, it doesn’t make the words any easier, or less nerve-racking, to say.
“I’m glad you know that already, cookie.
Daddy only wants what’s best for you. As for the money aspect, you don’t need to fuss over that.
Chance taught me a few things about investing eons ago.
Thanks to having no one else to spend my money on, I’ve managed to grow enough to not hurt.
I work because I’m not the type to sit at home doing nothing. I need activity and focus.”
“Oh,” he replies, voice barely above a whisper.
“Now let’s go back to the original question: Are you ready to get some food in your tummy and open your presents?”
He takes a deep breath in, closing his eyes for a moment before he nods. “Yes, Daddy. Let’s do it.”
After a very quick breakfast of sugary cereal—an apparent staple on Christmas morning for my boy—I settle him on the living room couch while I go grab the bag I had Chance drop off late last night.
I’d gotten up to use the bathroom and decided to text my friend for the favor.
He’d left the bag outside the front door for me a few hours later.
I’ll definitely owe him one for that. A problem for later. Right now, I’m more excited to see my boy’s reaction to his gifts.
There’s a gasp behind me when I open the door. I don’t have to look to know my boy is surprised at the reveal. My smile is wide when I turn with the large canvas bag in hand. It’s got the words “For Cookie” printed on the side.
“Oh, Daddy! I love it. That’s for me? It looks big!”
I close the door before making my way to him. “There’s more than one in here. It’s not just one giant present.”
He hums, his gaze never moving from the bag itself. Don’t be jealous of a bag. Don’t be jealous of a bag.
As if he can hear my thoughts, my boy’s eyes move over to me when I reach his side. There’s a smile, then he’s making a grabbing motion toward the items.
“Eager, are we?”
“Yes, Daddy. Everything about you makes me that way.”
I shiver at the double meaning of those words. He’s not purposefully teasing me. It’s still not the most convenient thing to get a boner when we’re supposed to be sharing a nice Christmas moment together.
“Start from smallest to largest,” I instruct as I situate the bag between his spread legs.
He gives me a quick nod, then he dives in.
The gifts are stacked together to make it easy on him.
The second he has the first in hand, I settle back to watch him.
I’m pretty confident I got everything right.
If not, then we’ll just have to go to the store to exchange it all.
I’m not too prideful to return it all if I need to.
My boy’s happiness is the most important thing.
“Ohmygosh!”
The spluttered words draw me back to the moment. Eyes wide, chest heaving, my sweet cookie stares at the object in his hands with awe. I grin, happy to know I hit the mark.
“I guess that means you like it?”
“Like it?” He shakes his head. “Daddy, I love it.”
As he speaks, he lifts the small necklace up to look at it. It’s then he notes the engraving on the back. When his gaze whips my way, I shrug. There’s no explaining to him how right I knew this would be from the start. No explaining away the gut feeling that told me he’d be mine.
“Will you put it on me? I want to wear it right now.”
Easing into a kneeling position, I take the necklace from his trembling hands. The cookie-shaped sterling silver pendant is a cute, modest thing if you glance at it quickly. It’s the tiny J&J in the center that truly personalized it.
Add in where I had them put Daddy’s Sweet Cookie on the back, and well, it’s very much a symbol of ownership.
It’s a symbol of submission. My boy can wear the cute necklace without anyone knowing it’s his way of broadcasting to the world he has a Daddy who would tear the world apart to make him happy.
The second I latch the clasp, he sighs. “Thank you, Daddy. I love it.”
I kiss his temple. “I’m glad you do. Now open the rest.”
He doesn’t hesitate to do as asked. Each new gift brings about more elated reactions.
The candy-cane-printed knee-high socks are a big hit, as are the matching pajama sets I got us—his with the word cookie printed all over and mine with Daddy.
After that, he opens a bundle of coloring books and art supplies.
Those seem to please him as much as everything before it.
Then we’re at the big gift. The one I’m most nervous for.
It’s not because I worry he won’t like it. More like I’m worried it’ll be too much too soon.
The second he opens the large box, I know I shouldn’t have worried. My cookie lights up, eyes and mouth wide as he takes in the present.
“Daddy…”
“Is it too much? I don’t want to overwhelm you. It’s just that when I asked around, there was one thing people made abundantly clear about you.”
I don’t keep going. He can infer what I mean from the gift itself. I put in several baking cookbooks, a new apron with his name stitched to it, new baking supplies, and a printout of the itinerary of a night with world-renowned pastry chef, Pierre Balton.
“This is the best, most thoughtful gift ever. It’s like you reached in my brain and pulled out all the stuff I love. Daddy—” He chokes up, tears filling his eyes.
I pull him onto my lap, holding him close as he soaks my shirt. These tears feel like a cleansing of sorts. Like my boy is purging something and coming out new. At least, I hope it’s that type of cry.
“It’s ok, cookie. Daddy has you. Let it all out. I’m all yours. I’ll hold you as long as you need.” I rock him as I whisper the promises against the top of his head. The words aren’t meant to quiet the tears. They’re more so about reassuring him.
When he calms some time later, I’m rewarded with a bright smile. “Thank you, Daddy. I… I feel better now.”
I wipe away the last of his tears. “Good.”
“You’re not mad I started crying at your gift?”
“No, baby. Of course not.” I pause, letting him see the sincerity in my expression.
“Just like sad or bad things can overwhelm us, so can good things. You told me you loved the gift. If you needed a minute to let out your feelings after, there’s no reason for me to be upset.
If anything, I’m thankful to have given you the opportunity to feel. ”
He sighs, sinking back against my chest. “You’re the best, Daddy. I’m so glad Santa granted my wish, and you found me.”
“Me too, cookie.”
It’s amazing how one little letter can change everything.