Chapter 32
CLARA
Iwas helping backstage at the school. While Mrs. Fletcher ran the actors through their scenes in front of the curtain, I was running the crew through their roles in the show. Sets had to be changed between scenes and things could pile up quickly if they weren’t careful.
To the kids’ credit, they listened attentively, beyond impressed once Mrs. Fletcher told them I’d worked in Hollywood for a bit.
Sure, it had led to some awkward questions about what I was doing back here in Harrison City, but I had kept my cool instead of telling the little shit to mind her own business.
And to never believe a man who says he loves you.
With a fair amount of effort, I swallowed down my bitterness and focused on the show prep.
Things back here were nowhere near as complicated as a Ganymede Raye production, but everyone had to start somewhere.
Every single person working on Ganymede’s shows had once been one of these little theater nerds, and if I could inspire a few of these kids, it would be a nice silver lining to my misfortunes.
The big metal doors leading into the seating area banged open. A strong, masculine voice boomed through the theater, which had great acoustics. “Ho, ho, ho. Never fear. Santa is here!”
Santa sounded like a real cocky prick. I wasn’t sure why he was walking in here like he was the star of the show. I’d gone over the scripts for all the scenes. Santa didn’t even have a speaking role.
Honestly, it was a lot like the simplified role Mrs. Fletcher had given Luke ten years back. The thought lit a spark of suspicion in me. I peeked my head around the curtain to see if I was correct.
I was. Luke swaggered up the aisle with a huge smile on his face. All of the air was sucked from my lungs and I gripped the curtain’s edge in my fists so hard I thought I might rip the fabric.
What the hell was he doing here? Had he followed me to Texas? I took a breath and forced myself to think clearly. No, he was in town visiting for Christmas. But what was he doing at the high school theater for play practice, hoeing around like he was Santa Claus?
Did he know I was helping out with the play? No, nobody knew about it. I wasn’t sure how he could have found out. Oh, my God, he was so obsessed with me. A part of me was flattered, liking that he was chasing after me. But the rest of me was not pleased.
I wasn’t ready to talk to him about the way things had gone down with us. Maybe I would never be ready to have a conversation with him, but one way or another, today was not the day for it.
I was barely keeping it together getting the backstage crew organized. Luke was just going to make me cry. If I fell apart, I wouldn’t be able to face these kids again.
Mrs. Fletcher met him in the aisle and thanked him for coming, which sounded like she had been the one to invite him.
So he wasn’t here for me. That tracked because his smile was pasted on.
It was the one he used when he was on camera.
I knew him well enough to see through it.
Luke didn’t want to be here but he was being nice.
It seemed he wasn’t there to see me at all. That was good. I could go hide somewhere until he left. I ducked back behind the curtain, looking for an exit.
“Clara?” I heard him say a second later. Even without seeing him, I could hear the confusion in his voice.
Fuck. Run.
I hauled ass through the closest door. It led out into the breezeway between the classroom buildings. A chill wind sent a shiver through me, and I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing I’d thought to grab my coat.
The school was closed for the holidays, and classes weren’t in session.
The only people on campus were working on the play.
On the plus side, no one was around to see how distressed I was.
On the negative side, all of the hallway doors were locked.
There was nowhere for me to veer off and hide from the jerk who pretended to care about me.
Footsteps pounded down the hall behind me and I kept walking without looking over my shoulder. I didn’t want to encourage him. With any luck, someone would have left one of these doors open and I would be able give him the slip.
“Clara, can we please talk?” Luke called after me.
The cloudy sky made the breezeway dim. Dull lockers lined the walls between the hallway doors. We were all alone.
“Please, stop. Just for a second. Please.”
“What part of ‘I need space’ do you not understand?” I said.
“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” he told me. “It feels like fate.”
“I doubt it,” I said, turning to face him. “There’s nothing to say. You made everything very clear before I left New York.”
“Did I make it clear? Because you didn’t give me a chance to even speak,” he said hotly.
I flinched. Luke pulled away. He looked hurt now. I refused to let it affect me.
“Don’t follow me.” Instead of turning around, I strode past him back toward the theater. It took all my strength to walk away.
I grabbed my jacket from the seatback where I’d left it, then mumbled some lame excuse to Mrs. Fletcher and circled back to the parking lot.
My shitty car was waiting for me, years older than anyone else’s vehicle in the lot, including the students’.
Whatever. It might be shitty, but it was dependable, and I needed stable things in my life.
The engine didn’t start when I turned the key in the ignition. So much for stable. Stupid fucking car.
I would have punched my steering wheel but I was pretty sure it would set off the airbag. Getting smacked in the face with an inflated punching bag didn’t seem like it would improve my mood. I couldn’t imagine anything helping me calm down after the shock of seeing Luke like that.
Finally, my car started, saving me the embarrassment of having to go back inside and ask someone for help. Luke would volunteer and try saving me again. Then I would have no choice but to listen to his excuses. And I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to keep resisting him.
I drove away, blasting Christmas music. Maybe it would restore some of the holiday cheer I was missing. If not, it might drown out my swirling thoughts. My head was a snow globe and Luke had shaken it up by strutting into the theater without warning.
My plan for the day had been to spend the next few hours at play rehearsal. The performance was soon. They were putting the last polish on things before the big show. Now, I had nowhere I needed to be.
Going home didn’t appeal to me. I didn’t want to have to explain why I was back early with my tail between my legs. It would just lead to more pity, and I couldn’t handle any more of that. When I reached the turnoff to my parents’ neighborhood, I went left instead of right.
Maggie’s Diner was pretty empty at that time of day, halfway between noon and dinnertime. I grabbed a corner booth and sat facing away from the rest of the dining room. Eating out alone was something I generally avoided, but from the look of things, I needed to get used to flying solo.
The waitress was a young girl I didn’t recognize. I asked her for a greasy double cheeseburger with a side of tater tots. Crispy. The poor kid must have seen the despair in my eyes because she hurried away and my food came out fast.
The first bite was bliss, reminding why I would never be supermodel skinny. Because cheeseburgers existed. And the tater tots, a delicious gift from the potato gods.
The burger didn’t cure my blues but it allowed me to lose myself in one of life’s simple pleasures. No one bothered me while I devoured my feast. If anyone heard the obscene moans I was making, they had the decency not to comment on it.
I got a giant coffee to go and left feeling more capable of facing the day. My phone buzzed with a text. It was from Luke, and I barely even freaked out at all.
Luke: Fletcher asked me to be Santa again. I didn’t know you were there. I told her I had to bow out. It’s safe to go back. I won’t bother you.
It was a pleasant surprise. As I had suspected, Luke hadn’t shown up at the school looking for me. It was just the universe messing with us. Or Mrs. Fletcher.
Warmth rippled through me knowing Luke cared enough about my feelings to turn down the Santa role.
I didn’t have a lot going on, and the chance to work on the school play had seemed like a great opportunity to take a baby step back into restarting my life.
Luke showing up had felt like I would never be able to escape him.
I might have felt guilty for costing him the role, but I sincerely doubted Luke had really wanted the part in the first place. He had looked like he didn’t want to be there at all. If anything, I had given him a decent excuse to decline.
Still, it was nice to know I had been wrong about him. I asked for space and he was trying to give it to me. It counted for something. I wasn’t sure how much, but it wasn’t nothing.
I cruised back over to the school and headed into the theater. Luke was nowhere to be seen, staying true to his word. I breathed a sigh of relief and found Mrs. Fletcher. She walked me away from the rehearsing kids so we could talk in semi-privacy.
“Sorry about leaving earlier,” I said to her.
She waved the words away dismissively. “No, not at all. I’m the one who needs to apologize.
I asked you to help out as a favor. I had no idea you and Luke didn’t want to see each other.
Quite the contrary, I asked him to be Santa again after you told me you would help.
I thought it would be a nice reunion. I mean, how long’s it been? Ten years?”
“More like two days,” I said quietly, shaking my head.
“I’m sorry, did you say two days?” Mrs. Fletcher blinked at me with her big owl eyes. “Clara, what year is it?”
I laughed and patted her shoulder. “You haven’t traveled through time. Luke and I reconnected over Thanksgiving and things got really… interesting really fast.”
She rubbed my arm sweetly. “If you need to talk about it, I’m here. Technically, I’m an English teacher, but you know I specialize in drama.”
I snorted a laugh. “I’ve got plenty of that in my life, no doubt. But I don’t think talking about this will help anything.”
“You never know. Sometimes we tell ourselves a story in our heads without realizing we have it wrong. Talking helps to figure out what’s real and what’s just anxiety.” She shrugged. “And sometimes it just helps to get it all out. It’s cleansing.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Fletcher.” I smiled at her. “I appreciate your kindness. For now, I think the best thing I can do is get back to work. Wrangling these little energy balls is no joke. I don’t know how you do it.”
Mrs. Fletcher smiled. “Just wait until the actual performance. Everybody loses their minds. It’s hilarious.”
“Well, I’ll be here for sure. Right now, this play is the only thing keeping me going.”
“Oh, sweetie.” She wrapped me in her arms and held me.
A few tears managed to escape, but I kept it together for the most part. No matter how badly life kept trying to beat me down, I needed to keep getting back up and keep moving forward.