Nine
Candace
Though it had been cold and snowy on our way home, the annual Christmas Party, in the neighborhood where our families lived, was held outdoors. In the way of Michigan weather, over the span of a day, temperatures could swing from frigid to nearly balmy. That was the case for Christmas day that year.
The six houses on the cul-de-sac all had their garage doors open, propane patio heaters abounded in each driveway and along sidewalk, and the Ward family, who owned a DJ business, had Christmas music blasting through a big sound system. The end of the court was blocked off, allowing only foot traffic, and each home featured a different array of food and small gifts for visitors. A dance floor had been set up in the middle of the street.
The whole area was busy, with visitors from all over the subdivision partying with us at what had been an annual affair for the past fifteen years. Though it had the feel of a summer block party, everyone dressed up in their holiday best.
Pax looked amazing in a tailored black suit with a red tie, and my mom had indeed bought me a fancy dress because the pants and blouse I’d planned would not do . My dress was black, too, but the full skirt had a petticoat and red lace flares, and the fitted bodice was crisscrossed with ribbons in the same shade of red. The fabric shooshed with each move I made, and I found I didn’t hate how ultra-feminine it made me feel. Pax’s eyes going dark and the hungry look on his face when he’d seen me in it hadn’t hurt, either.
His arm had been a near constant presence around my waist. It made me antsy in several ways. His warmth and familiar spicy scent held me in a secure bubble, and I wanted him again, even though we’d made good use of our hotel room during the small window of free time we’d had earlier today. I still wasn’t used to this public intimacy between us, though. Neither were all the people who’d known us for years.
“About time,” Mrs. Ward said as she passed by with a cup of the spiked eggnog punch from the Plinkerton’s house. “I was thinking you two would never figure this thing out.”
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Ward,” Pax returned. “Good to see you.”
“Yes, Merry Christmas,” I echoed.
“How long are you two home?” she asked, and I knew she was asking for the whole cul-de-sac. There were no secrets around here. I was actually surprised she didn’t already know since she was friends with our moms.
“Until the fourth. We have to be back the following Monday.”
“You’re still teaching together at the same school?”
“Yes,” Pax answered, his arm tightening. “Where Candace goes, I go.”
“Haven’t you always?” she said cheerfully. “We’re all so happy for you two. Merry Christmas!”
Happy for us for what? How many of those spiked drinks had she had?
Pax kissed the top of my head as she walked away. “Have I told you how beautiful you are?”
I snuggled closer to him. “A few times.”
“Well, look at you two getting all cozy.”
I tensed, looking over at the guy who’d spoken—Adrian, one of the guys Pax had played football with in high school. He wasn’t a jerk, but his knowing tone made me uncomfortable. Beside me, Pax tensed.
“Adrian,” he said.
“I see you finally sacked up and went for it,” his schoolmate continued, unaware of the undercurrent his words had ignited.
“Yeah,” Pax bit out.
Suddenly, I had to get out of there. Not because of Adrian, but because he had to be at least the thirty-seventh person to say something about us.
“It’s good to see you, Adrian,” I said with a forced smile. “Merry Christmas. Pax, I’m going inside for a few minutes while you visit.”
Without waiting for his response, I ducked out of his hold while Adrian started talking to him about the coaching he was doing at their old high school. Dodging everyone, I headed into my parents’ house.
I couldn’t hide in my old room since that was now their gym, and there was a chance of my parents or extended family popping in and out of the main floor. I detoured downstairs, past the family room and laundry room and into the storage room, the only place for privacy today. I sank onto the old, lumpy fainting couch stashed there, waiting for my mom to refurbish it, one of her many hobbies.
Crossing my forearms, I leaned forward and rested them on my knees, taking a deep breath.
Everyone around Pax and I had known. They’d either seen how I felt about Pax, or they’d realized his desire for me. Everyone thought we were meant to be together—everyone but me. Not a single person today had been surprised to see us touching, his arm around me, me leaning into him… Except, maybe, my dad who still thought of me as three years old and definitely didn’t see me as old enough for a grown up relationship. But he liked Pax, so that would make things easier, because from here out that’s how it would be—me and Pax.
Slipping off my shoes, I curled my feet under me and leaned against the curved end of the seat while I thought about everything people had said to us today. More importantly, a Technicolor B-roll of every moment between Pax and me played through my thoughts.
And it hit me. I loved him.
I loved him, and I needed to take a leap. It had always been Pax—always him for me and always him who’d been sure of us, never giving up on me. It was my turn to show him how I felt.
“Candace!”
I jerked upright at Pax’s worried call. He burst into the room before I could respond. The door snapped shut behind him, and he crossed his arms, intense fury rolling off him, and I knew my Santa had emerged to deal with his little elf.
His anger was reminiscent of the rage that had birthed my fear way back when I was seven, but I wasn’t afraid of him. I’d never been afraid Pax would hurt me. I’d only ever worried that allowing his control would break my promise and make me weak.
He closed the space between us and dropped to his knees before me, but as his arms caged me in on either side, there was nothing submissive about his position.
His eyes bored into me, his feral determination clear. “You are not running away again.”