11. MILA
11
MILA
A fter wrapping my silk gown around me, I scramble into my bed beside Nick, the exhaustion of the night quickly claiming me, but as long as he’s here, I’ll fight it. I won’t waste a single second of the night by accidentally falling asleep.
I nuzzle into Nick’s side, desperately wishing that things could be like this all the time, and while we’ve ticked plenty of things off our list, I can’t help but feel as though our time together is quickly coming to an end.
“What do we have left?” he questions, though something tells me he knows exactly what’s on this list. He doesn’t need the reminder, he’s just trying to keep my mind from going somewhere it shouldn’t.
“Let’s see, shall we?”
Reaching over Nick, I get the list and pen off my bedside table and try to work out how it got there when I was positive I left them on the couch, but at some point, I have to remember that when I’m with Nick, the impossible tends to happen.
Glancing over the list, I tick off the few things we just accomplished on my coffee table.
May - A perfect mold of my veiny dick, preferably in bright Christmas red. Don’t forget the veins! Batteries not included.
August - Bend her over and take her from behind, hand in her hair, and don’t dare hold back. Be rough with her. Then let her ride the replica cock while I fuck her mouth.
September - Claim that sweet ass if she’s up for it. Take it slow. She’s new at this.
October - Surprise her. Give her something she’s not expecting. One pearl necklace coming right up.
“You really didn’t hold back with that pearl necklace, huh?”
“No, I can’t say that I did, but you asked for a surprise, and I figured what better surprise than a pearl necklace?”
“Good point,” I say, before pausing, my hand hovering over the list. “Wait. I ticked August’s wish for bending me over and doing me from behind, but like . . . what just happened on the coffee table still counts, right? Even though I was intending on that being a pussy taking and not an ass claiming?”
“Uhhhh, I think it still counts,” he says, glancing over the list again. “I mean, I still bent you over and took you from behind, and there was nothing in the wish that specified which hole that was intended for.”
“Ahh, perfect.”
Don’t get me wrong, if it didn’t count, I’m more than happy to do it again until we can mark it off properly, but I simply don’t have enough energy right now. Especially considering there’s still one more ride for me to take.
“So, in July when you wished to get to know me better, what kind of things were you wanting to know?”
“Oh, ummm . . . wow. Talk about pressure, huh? I feel like there’s so much I want to know about you, but not enough time to cover everything.”
“What do you feel is most important to you?”
“I want to know your heart,” I tell him. “What kind of man are you? What was your childhood like? Do the people back home actually like you or do they tolerate you just because you’re the big man in red? What are your parents like? Oh, and how do you know how to fuck so well? Have you been doing all the little elves because that’s kinda weird, right?”
“Woah,” he laughs. “Slow down.”
I can’t help but laugh too, and I find myself sitting up beside him, just like I did last year, eager to know everything about him.
“I don’t really know where to start with all of that, but I suppose as for the kind of man I am. I guess only you can answer that. You’re the only one I’ve ever allowed to get close enough.”
My brows furrow, surprised by that considering how little I already know of him, which speaks volumes about the relationships he has with other people. “What about your parents?”
“They see me as the fuck-up child I always was, and to be honest, I was only that way because I was angry with the world. I wanted to be here with you. Being isolated sent me down a dark spiral. I was an asshole for a long time and a real dick to those who didn’t deserve it. So yeah, I suppose that answers your other question. Most people just tolerate me because they’re scared I’m going to be an asshole, which is fair, but over these past twelve months, I’d dare say things have gotten better.”
“So your parents only tolerate you.”
“No. Mom and Dad have always been great. Mom sees the best in people and is pretty much exactly who all those bullshit Christmas movies make her out to be. She’s a sweet old lady who just wants to bake shortbread.”
“And your dad?”
“He’s a little more complicated. He sees me as the black sheep of the family and has trouble trusting me not to fuck things up. But I’ve more than proven to him that I can still do my job and have you too.”
“Oh, so he knows you’ve been coming here?”
Nick nods. “He doesn’t just know that I’m here, he’s read through your list of wishes.”
My eyes bulge out of my head. I know he mentioned that his father saw my wish last year, but that doesn’t seem as horrifying as the detailed wishes I made this year. “Oh my god,” I say, squishing my hands over my face as my cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment. “He must think I’m a skank trying to corrupt his son.”
“No,” Nick laughs. “If anything, he thinks I’m the big asshole who’s corrupted this sweet little girl he used to gift dolls to.”
“Holy shit.”
I collapse into the sheets beside him, burying my face into the pillows as he laughs. “It’s fine, he really doesn’t care that much. He knows we have an . . . odd relationship, and he’s okay with it. As long as I don’t fall behind in my duties, then we’re all good.”
“Okay,” I murmur, getting comfortable against his chest. “And as for all those little whore elves you’ve been screwing.”
Nick laughs. “Am I going to break your heart if I tell you there are no elves in the North Pole? That’s just some ridiculous myth the media made up, and the rest of the world ran with it. The workshop has thousands of helpers, who are human, by the way. And yes, on occasion, I’ve found myself having a little fun with a few of them. But not since having you.”
“Just been you and your hand then?”
“Your letters certainly helped with some visualization.”
A laugh bubbles up my throat, and I place my hand on his chest, feeling the thrum of his heart beneath. “I don’t want you to go,” I tell him, fearing what comes next.
“I know,” he says, reaching over to me and lifting me until I’m straddled over him. “It’s only a year before I see you again.”
“A year is a very long time.”
He nods, and I know he feels it just as much as I do.
“I wish things could always be like this.”
Tears form in my eyes, and he pulls me in closer, closing the gap between us as his lips come down on mine. He kisses me deeply, and just like before, I can’t help but feel as though it’s some kind of fucked-up goodbye. “If there were a way,” he says against my lips, letting his sentence fall flat.
“I know,” I whisper.
A single tear rolls down my cheek, and Nick quickly captures it before wiping it away. “We have now, Mila,” he tells me, seeming conflicted about something, but aren’t we both?
He’s right though. We have now, and I don’t want to waste it crying over missing him when he hasn’t even left yet. I should be making the most of it, and that’s exactly what I do when I crush my lips back to his. I kiss him deeper, this time being the one to take control as my tongue sweeps into his mouth.
He hardens beneath me, and I grind down against him, feeling myself getting wetter by the second. Only something tells me this one is going to be different. It’s not going to be the wild, animalistic fucking from out in the living room and against the wall. This one is just him and me with our hearts both on the line.
His lips move to my neck and I close my eyes, feeling the raw pleasure pulsing through my veins. “I’m not ready to miss you,” I tell him, feeling my eyes begin to fill with tears all over again.
“Then don’t miss me, Mila. Be happy knowing I will come back. Don’t grieve me leaving, anticipate my next arrival.”
His words make it sound so simple, but we both know it’s really not. He’s been right where I am. He knows how it feels to say goodbye knowing that you won’t see the other for another twelve months. And yet, all I can do is smile against his lips as he kisses me. “You’re so full of shit.”
Nick laughs, and I rise up onto my knees. His arm locks around my back, holding me to him, and as he takes his cock in his other hand, I slowly sink down onto him. I groan, feeling a slight ache from the already crazy night of sex, but I’m not about to give in now.
My list specifies that I need to ride him until he comes, and I’m not about to give up on that one. After all, making him come deep inside of me is my favorite thing to do.
I rock my hips and grind against him as our lips fuse together, each of us soaking in the moment, not willing to let this go just yet. Our bodies move in unison, both of us panting as he grips my hips, but he knows the rules for this one. He’s not allowed to take control. He can only lay back and take it until he falls apart.
I take him the way I like, clenching my walls around him and letting him feel just how desperately I want him as I rise and fall over his cock. Then grabbing the headboard, I lean into him, and when he captures my nipple in his mouth over my silk gown, I should have known better. Nick admitted that he’s a natural rule breaker. I should have seen this coming. Hell, I should be grateful he’s allowed me to maintain control, but I don’t doubt that soon enough, he’s going to take that control for himself.
Nick flicks his tongue over my nipple, and I feel the hot pulses right down to my core. I can’t help but arch into him, silently asking for more. He gives in, giving me exactly what I’ve asked for, and as he does it again, I let out a desperate moan. “Fuck, Nick. You’re everything I need.”
I bounce over his cock, clenching with each rise and fall, and as his hand drops between us and torments my clit with his sweet fingers, I feel that familiar tightening deep inside of me. “Oh God.”
Nick’s hands tighten on my body, and as I circle my hips, his kisses become more frantic. “Fuck, Mila. I have to take you.”
I grin against his lips, loving the way my pussy is tormenting him. “Ask nicely.”
“Mila,” he growls, on the fucking edge.
I grin again, and this time he knows it’s my way of giving in, and within the blink of an eye, I’m on my back with Nick’s arm scooped beneath my knee, hitching it up as high as it’ll go. He rolls his hips back and in a flash, he’s thrusting deep inside of me, taking me at a whole new angle. “Oh God,” I groan, sucking in a deep gasp.
He closes his eyes, and I watch as his jaw tightens. “Fuck, Mila. I will never get enough of being inside of you.”
“More,” I beg.
He pulls back and thrusts again, and this time we both lose our minds. My legs start to shake, and I wrap my arms around his strong back, digging my nails into his beautiful skin. His lips come down on my neck as his other hand slips inside my gown and cups my breast, his thumb and forefinger gently rolling over my nipple.
The pleasure is too much, and as it all comes together, I come one final time, my orgasm pulsing through me like molten lava, claiming every single inch of me. Nick comes with me, shooting his hot load deep inside me, and as we both come down from our high, the heaviness comes along with it, and all I can do is hold him against me.
He rolls us so that I lay over his chest, his big arms wrapped so securely around me that I never want to let go. We lay in silence, both of us lost in thought, and when I reach for the crumpled list on the sheets, I let out a heavy sigh.
Pushing up onto Nick’s chest, I lay the list on his chest and try to flatten out the crumpled paper. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad we were able to do all the wild and exciting things on this list, but a part of me wishes it was so much longer so that he never had to leave. I could keep him chained up here for the rest of time as a sex slave. I mean, sure, it might be frowned upon to keep a sex slave chained to your bed, maybe slightly illegal, but I’m sure if I ran the idea past Nick, he’d be down for it. As long as I offer the occasional meal to keep those energy levels up, then we should be good.
Finding the pen somewhere under the pillow, I mark off the two final proper wishes before letting my gaze sail over the very last one.
June - Let her ride me until I fall apart. I have no choice but to lay back and take it. Floor, couch, or rooftop beside the reindeer. (Preferably not the rooftop. Tucker’s a horny little reindeer. I don’t need him bricking up while watching my girl fuck me.)
July - Get to know me better. Open up. Let her know the man that I am. Let her understand me and feel the person she’s been waiting for isn’t going to break her heart.
October - Be with me forever. Going to need clarification on this one.
Be with me forever. It’s not a realistic wish, and I think we both know that. To be honest, I barely remember making the wish. It’s just one of those things that roll off the tongue. And in this case, rolled off the pen. I was simply writing the thoughts running rampant in my mind, but it doesn’t make it any less true. But how could it ever be? He’s Santa Claus for fuck’s sake.
His world is . . . I don’t even know where his world is. Is the North Pole supposed to be somewhere near Antarctica? No, wait. That’s the southern hemisphere. Surely the North Pole is somewhere, well . . . north. Right?
“What’s going through your mind, Mila?”
“Where is the North Pole?” I ask. “Can I maybe . . . I don’t know, visit? Is that weird?”
Nick laughs, his hand lowering down my back until his large palm is resting against my ass. “It’s the most northern point on earth, in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. It’s not exactly . . . easy to get to. Hence why I require a sleigh and reindeer to get in and out.”
“Oh,” I say with a heavy sigh, more disappointment coming down over me.
He takes the list off his chest and glances at all the boxes ticked off, all except one, and I can’t help but wonder if his mind has gone to the same place mine has. “I’m sorry, Mila,” he rumbles. “This list was never intended to break your heart.”
“I know. I’m the one who should be sorry,” I tell him. “I shouldn’t have made a wish for something I knew we could never have. It’s just, being away from you for so long, I start to think that maybe things could be different.”
“I . . .” he lets out a breath as he sits up, devastation flashing in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I have to go, Mila. Your wishes are complete, and I’ve been here much longer than I should be allowed.”
I suck in a breath, flying to my feet as the sheer panic begins to settle in. “How can it already be time? You’ve barely been here a few hours,” I say, but as my gaze shoots to the window, I realize the sun has already lightened the horizon.
Nick gets up, his eyes softening as he steps into me, his hands finding my waist. “I’m sorry, Mila.”
“No. No, no, no. This can’t be it already. I only just got you back. I . . . I—”
Nick pulls me in against his chest, holding me tight, his arm curled around my body and his hand in my hair. I cry against his warm chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart—a heart I fear I won’t get the chance to see again. What if this is goodbye? What if something happens during the year and one of us realizes it’s time to move on? He promises it won’t happen, that I’ll always be it for him, that when a soul finds its person, it sticks. But how can that truly be real? How can I hold onto this love from someone who I only ever see once a year? He’ll soon enough forget me the moment he meets someone new, someone not so far away, someone far less complicated than me.
“Don’t,” he says. “I know where your head has gone. This isn’t it, Mila. I’ll come back for you again. Wish me here, just like you did this year.”
I pull back, hating the tears staining my cheeks, and as I look up into those dark eyes, I see the same pain in my heart reflected in his eyes. He wants to stay just as much as I need him to, but how am I ever supposed to make this work?
He’s going to walk away and my heart will tear to shreds.
Nick takes my hand and leads me out into my living room where he reluctantly gets dressed. He pulls his red coat back on and fixes the belt into place before stepping into his black boots. He’s the perfect sexy Santa, and despite having sat with his identity for a year now, it’s still crazy to try and wrap my head around.
The moment he’s dressed, he takes my hand again, and we make our way to the living room window, just as we had last time. He helps me out onto the fire escape, only this time, the walk up to the roof is silent and filled with deep sorrow. I can’t keep the tears from coming, knowing just how hard a year without him truly is.
Reaching the roof, I’m met with the sight of the beautiful reindeer, and just like last December, they completely blow me away. The sleigh is a crazy sight, but the reindeer are what truly hold my attention. We walk toward them, and with each of them awake and ready for their trek back home, I can’t help but notice how I hold their attention.
Nick stops just shy of the reindeer, and as he turns to meet my stare, there’s a strange reluctance in his eyes, something dark, but I can’t quite put my finger on why. “This is really it?” I ask.
He nods. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you all of your wishes.”
“I know,” I murmur, stepping into him again and feeling the way his strong arms wrap around me. “You don’t need to be sorry. I understand. I shouldn’t have asked for it. I just . . . I so badly wish that I could be yours. To be with you every day. To have this every day.”
That strange darkness flashes in his eyes again. “You don’t understand what you’re asking for,” he says. “Do you know what a life with me would mean?”
“No,” I admit. “But I don’t even care. I want it. Anything is better than the life I have here without you.”
Nick takes a breath, and he looks at me like he’s truly struggling to walk away and leave me here broken just as he did last year. His hands ball into tight fists, his jaw clenching and unclenching. He closes his eyes again, and when he opens them, they’re somehow even darker. Something within his stare warns me it’s time to walk away, but I can’t.
“Let me hear you wish it,” he murmurs, the pain clear in his deep tone.
I let out a sigh, my hand falling to his and holding it tight, realizing he needs to hear the words just as much as I do. To know that when he leaves, my heart will still belong to him, and with that, I step in even closer and tilt my chin up. “Nick, I wish to be only yours. I wish to fully belong to you, to have your heart every single day of the rest of our lives. I wish to be where you are and start a life with you.”
“Are you sure?” he rumbles, his jaw clenching again as his eyes flicker with that terrifying darkness.
“Yes, Nick,” I say, willing him to truly hear me. “I’ve never been so sure. I’m crazy in love with you, and I never want to be away from you like this again. I’m yours, Nick. And I will spend every day of the rest of my life wishing things could be different.”
And not a moment later, his hand comes up around the back of my neck, and everything goes black.