Chapter 4
Jasper
My hair was still damp when I pulled into the hospital parking lot.
The nap didn’t happen, but I managed to choke down a couple of scrambled eggs before coming back. For maybe the first time ever, I was dreading work. Tonight I started my next twenty-four-hour shift. That meant twenty-four hours away from Vincent.
I shook off the negativity. At least I could get some quality time in now.
I wedged the vase of flowers into the crook of my arm and headed for the sliding doors. Jenn had helped me with the arrangement, thank God. This early in the season, we didn’t have much, but our tulips were beautiful, and she’d added a little greenery she’d cut to make it look good.
As I took the elevator up to the third floor, I focused on breathing. It was time to lock into dad mode.
My knees were back to trembling when I knocked on the door of room 312.
But inside, the moment I laid eyes on my son, I cracked into a huge smile.
Vincent was sleeping in that weird plastic thing on wheels the hospital provided.
That kid needed a real crib. Or was it a bassinet?
Hopefully tonight would be a slow night at the station and I’d have time to google all the baby shit we’d need.
Evie looked at me from behind heavy lids, her eyes still ringed in dark circles.
Smiling, I held up the flowers.
Her face barely moved, but she nodded.
When I handed her a brown paper bag from Bean There, Sipped That next and she eyed the croissant inside, her lips finally tipped up.
“And a Vermont-style cold brew,” I said, putting the cup on her table. “My sister said you drink it year-round?”
She nodded and reached for the drink. I felt a strange surge of pride, bringing her coffee and breakfast. Silly, yes, but after the events of the last twenty-four hours, it felt good to contribute.
Quietly, I approached Vincent and hovered over him. His tiny body was swaddled in the hospital-issued scratchy blanket, the blue hat in place. He was captivating.
My son. My child. I’ll never get over this feeling.
After taking a few pics, I navigated to my sibling group chat.
Ignoring the messages related to damage control and the frantic instructions about police investigations, I sent them all.
I’d read their messages at the station later.
I wouldn’t let anything pull me away from this moment.
So I pocketed the device and looked back at Vincent.
Forget the farm, forget the firehouse, forget everything else. This little guy is the only thing that matters right now.
“Can I get you anything?” I whispered to Evie. “Tissues? Water? A margarita?”
Her responding smile was stiff. “No, this is great. Thank you.”
Unease swirled through me. She wasn’t engaging, and if I wasn’t careful, I’d be oversharing in a heartbeat, probably driving her nuts while she needed to rest. So I dragged a chair over to the bassinet and sat, focusing on the baby.
“I didn’t realize you’d be back so soon,” she said after a few minutes of painful silence.
I dipped my chin. “Got a twenty-four-hour shift in a bit, so I wanted to check on you two beforehand.”
“We’re fine.” Her tone was a little sharp. The warmth and vulnerability she showed during our last conversation was nowhere to be found.
“You don’t have to stop by all the time,” she continued, her fingers laced in her lap. “You’ve got your job, the farm, your family… and all your late-night activities. Don’t add us to your list of responsibilities.”
Her words hit me like a knife to the chest. Did she really think I wouldn’t be here to help? That I wouldn’t take parenting seriously?
My siblings’ voices echoed in my head. Comments about paternity tests and custody papers.
It all made me want to throw up. They meant well, and they weren’t completely wrong, but for now I was too raw and too vulnerable to broach those subjects.
All I could manage was to hold back tears when I looked at my son.
Vincent stirred, making cute baby noises, and instantly, the turmoil in my head calmed. None of that would deter me. Neither would Evie’s dismissive attitude. I wouldn’t let anything dampen the love and joy I already felt for this precious baby.
The world could doubt me, underestimate me. I was used to it. But I knew who I was and what I was capable of.
Between one heartbeat and the next, Vincent’s sweet noises turned into sharp cries.
I leaped to my feet, taking in his scrunched-up face, hands hovering over him. That when I was hit with a… let’s say pungent odor.
“I’ve got it.” Evie swung her legs over the side of the hospital bed.
I held up a hand. “I can handle a diaper.”
How such a tiny person could produce such a mess was beyond me. I focused on cleaning him up, talking to him in low tones as I went. I’d changed diapers, so I wasn’t totally clueless, but it had been a long time since any of my nieces or nephews were this tiny.
I snapped up his onesie and pulled his left sock up, since it had worked its way down his foot and was barely hanging on. Then I wrapped him loosely in a fresh blanket.
Cuddling him to my chest, I kissed the top of his head. “He’s already got my ears. Poor kid.”
Rather than a smile, Evie gave me a sharp look.
Okay. That did not land the way I’d intended.
A sinking feeling settled into my gut. I barely knew her. I had no clue what she liked. What made her laugh. Who she was beneath the prickly, intense exterior.
Vincent deserved better.
“We should establish some ground rules,” Evie said.
“There’s plenty of time for that.” I cuddled him close to my chest. “The kid’s a day old.”
“We need a plan. We’re being discharged tomorrow afternoon.”
My spine snapped straight, and Vincent let out a tiny whimper. “That’s it? They just let you walk out with a baby?” I blurted out.
God, I sounded like an idiot.
Rather than give me another reproachful look, she chuckled. An honest-to-goodness laugh. Huh.
“Apparently.” She shrugged. “I’m nowhere near prepared, and I have no idea what I’m doing, but they’re kicking us out, so I’ll have to figure out how to keep him alive.”
With every word, her defensiveness faded away. Instead, her tone was full of genuine worry.
As I studied her, an idea came to me. “I’ll take care of it,” I said firmly. “And I’ll take you home tomorrow.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket once, twice, then again and again.
Evie cocked a brow, reaching for Vincent. So with a sigh, I gently handed him to her. Immediately, he started to root. God, this kid already had his dad’s appetite.
I dug out my phone and frowned down at the screen filled with text notifications from my siblings, Gabe, and Chief Ashburn, my boss.
It seemed as though everyone had information about the murder or road closures or the loss of business.
It was difficult to fathom. Will McManus, gone. Such a hardworking, eager kid.
It was so fucking unfair.
And in this town? A place that prided itself on small-town values and helping our neighbors? Just the thought that there was danger out there sent a chill down my spine.
I surveyed Evie and Vincent. I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to them.
Josh needed me to replace lines and manage deliveries.
We were limiting the people who came onto our property for now, so we were shorthanded.
And I’d probably be picking up extra shifts with the road closures and the townsfolk in a tizzy like they had been for the last couple of days.
How did parents find time to work and take care of other responsibilities while their kids existed?
Just the thought of leaving made my chest ache and a wave of guilt sweep through me. But a whole slew of people needed me.
One by one, I responded to messages, tapping the screen quickly, not bothering to double check that I hadn’t made typos. I’d hit Send, then quickly move on to the next.
“Looks like you’ve got a lot to worry about.”
I peeked up at Evie, shrugging. “I’ve got it handled.”
She tilted her head. “It’s okay. This is a lot. And Vincent and I don’t need you here to play house with us.”
There it was again. This time I didn’t let the blow land the way it had earlier. I was onto her. She went on offense to avoid playing defense.
“I’m a Lawrence,” I said cooly. “Emotional defense mechanisms are a family specialty. So I see what you’re doing.”
She lowered her head, fussing over Vincent, who was happily suckling.
I flexed my fists, trying to quell the storm brewing in my brain. I had so much to learn and so much to do. It was overwhelming, knowing how different everyday life would be now that Vincent was here.
But my biggest worry? How Evie and I were going to make this work.
Obviously the two of us were different. But she was the mother of my child.
She may not believe me now, but I’d make it my mission to prove her wrong. If there was one thing I was good at, it was showing up. And she’d realize sooner or later that I wasn’t going anywhere.
I brushed my knuckles along his tiny fist. “See you tomorrow, buddy,” I said softly. Then I straightened, meeting Evie’s wary eyes.
“Tomorrow,” I said. “I’m taking you home.”
She inhaled, like she was preparing to argue.
Before she could shoot me down, I said, “I’ve already got a car seat, so I’m taking you home.”
Maybe that wasn’t technically true, but I’d send the rookie to Walmart tonight. He could FaceTime me from there, and I’d find the safest model and have it installed and ready by morning.
For a split second, emotion flickered across her face. Or maybe it was surprise. It could have been my imagination, but I swore she even looked a bit impressed.
Good. Because I was just getting started.
Outside in the parking lot, as I strode to my car, my chest ached with equal parts exhaustion and adrenaline. I’d activate the entire Maplewood network, pull every single string I had. If Evie thought she was doing this alone, she was sorely mistaken.