Chapter 9
Evie
Eyes squeezed shut, hand on Vincent’s back, I ran through the mile-long to do list in my head.
With a breath out, I kissed the top of my sweet boy’s head.
This little guy had really thrown a live grenade into my life.
Work was chaotic, since I hadn’t planned on taking maternity leave.
I hadn’t technically returned to work, and my team had stepped in to help, but there were always fires waiting for me to put out.
As director of marketing at Sugar Moon Syrup, I coordinated all corporate communications and worked with research and development to review all claims and labeling language, all while keeping legal off my back.
The environmental audit we were waist-deep in right now required a lot of careful messaging and emails, especially to our investors, meaning the entire company had been working nonstop.
As I opened my laptop, I prayed Vincent would snooze so I could at least go through my inbox.
My three-month maternity leave was almost half over, yet I could still barely manage showering most days or keeping the house stocked with groceries.
How the hell was I going to survive once I went back to work?
Closing my eyes, I forced a deep breath. For now, my top priority was time with Vincent. I could tackle everything else later.
Jasper would be proud of that mentality.
Not that I’d mention any of this to him.
He’d been so patient and kind, even when I was a raging bitch and pushed him away.
Yes, I should let him help more, allow him to parent more.
But the thought of letting go of Vincent for even a minute filled me with dread.
Before I could spiral again, a car pulled into the driveway, its tires crunching on the loose asphalt.
I popped up and peered out the window. Jasper was out front, stepping out of a truck that said Lawrence Farm on the side rather than his usual green Bronco.
Why was he here? He’d texted earlier, saying he was off work, but I’d told him we were fine and not to come by until tomorrow.
As irritation stirred to life inside me, I draped a blanket around Vincent and tucked it into the sides of the baby sling. Then I shoved my feet into my shoes and stomped outside.
Jasper was unloading a large item from the bed of the truck. He set it on the ground and went back for another.
Was that… a sleeping bag?
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice harsher than it should have been.
“Good evening, Evie.” He broke into a charming grin. “And Vincent.”
He was wearing a blue T-shirt without a damn coat, when any sane person would be zipped up in a down parka right now.
I gritted my teeth at the sight of him. Why did he have to be all muscular and tattooed? It was annoying.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I’m camping,” he replied, his ever-present smile making my stomach warm. Damn him.
“Camping?”
“Yes. This.” He pointed at the rectangular item in a black zippered case he’d set on the driveway. “Is a tent.”
“Where are you camping?”
“I was thinking the lawn.” He put his hands on his hips, eyes bright. “If it’s okay with you.”
Confusion swirled in my head. “Why in God’s name are you camping here?”
“Because I want to be close by for you and Vincent.”
“Close by, like on my lawn?” What was his problem? This was ridiculous.
He shrugged. “It’s only trespassing if you don’t give me permission. So if you want me to move to the sidewalk, I can.”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, searching for the logic in his words. I came up empty.
“No,” I said. It was the easiest answer. “Why do you want to sleep on my lawn? It’s freezing out.”
He scanned the yard, an almost dopey look on his face, like he hadn’t noticed the temperature. “Eh, it’s May. I’m good.”
I blew out a loud breath. “Are you some kind of survivalist?”
He shook his head, his messy hair falling into his face. “Nah. I’m more of a softcore outdoorsman.”
“Softcore?” What the hell did that mean?
“Yup. I like my creature comforts, like tents and sleeping bags and warm mugs of hot cocoa around a campfire.”
Huh. That sounded pretty good, actually. Not that I would admit it.
“I still don’t understand why you’re here.”
“I’m here because I want to be close. To participate.
To help.” He yanked a backpack out of the bed of his truck and set it at his feet.
“I respect you and what you’re doing, and I don’t want to pressure you.
Promise. But I can’t help but feel like I can be of use here.
Vincent is my son, and I want to experience this phase of his life too. ”
My heart sank. I couldn’t argue with him. He was entitled to see Vincent, and I understood the pull to be with him at all times.
“It’s okay that you don’t like having me in your house. But the farm is twenty minutes away. Response time is important.”
Now the guilt kicked in. Shit. Of course he didn’t think I liked having him in the house. Because honestly, I didn’t. I couldn’t handle the proximity.
I sighed. His reasoning made sense. He was a firefighter and paramedic, it was natural for him to be concerned about response time.
“So I’ll be here. Unless I’m working. If you need me, just yell.”
I adjusted the blanket covering Vincent, pulling it up a little higher. The air was cool and crisp, a pretty great spring night, actually.
Sure, the farm wasn’t all that close, but this seemed like overkill. But I was too weary to protest.
“I couldn’t sleep there,” he said softly, his shoulders drooping. “I kept worrying that you two would need me. This way, I can be close by, so if you think of something, just crack a window and call my name. I’m a light sleeper, so I’ll be fine.”
My chest panged. It was both sweet and ridiculous.
“I won’t push you. I swear. Our situation is…” He paused. “Unique. So it calls for a unique solution. And I told you, I’m in this 100 percent.”
His words held weight. They were maybe the most serious he’d ever spoken to me.
Legally he was entitled to time with his son. But the thought of being away from Vincent for even ten minutes caused panic to course through me.
At some point we’d need lawyers. A parenting plan and schedule.
But for now, I couldn’t go there. Not when he was so little and helpless.
I’d fought so hard to successfully breastfeed, to decipher his cries and meet his needs.
I didn’t want to stop now. I wouldn’t say anything about our situation was easy, but it was getting less impossible.
He was growing and gaining weight and sleeping a bit longer. The thought of Jasper taking him off to the farm made me sick. Not because Jasper couldn’t care for him, but because he needed me. And I needed him too.
“I just want to be close,” Jasper said, eyes pleading. “Things are scary right now.”
He was referring to the murder. I’d been out of the loop, but Ruby had told me that his family farm was being searched and that they still hadn’t caught anyone.
“And I need this,” he pleaded. “I need to protect you and Vincent. I need to provide, in my own weird way.”
His words hit me square in the chest. Dammit. It was time to face reality. I could put up walls and ice him out all day long, but there was no getting rid of Jasper Lawrence. He was on his own parenting journey, and it was wrong of me to get in his way.
“Fine,” I said. “But please set up your campsite in the backyard.” The last thing I needed was the Maple Street Mafia coming by on one of their morning power walks and finding Jasper in a tent on the front lawn.
“Got it.” He swung his backpack onto his back and hefted the tent and sleeping bag up, then headed around the house.
Vincent was stirring, and pressed this close to my chest, my body was reacting naturally. I’d have to feed him again soon.
But I was hit with another wave of determination, so I followed Jasper in hopes that I could talk him out of his plan this time. “This isn’t bizarre to you?”
“Nah.” He dropped the bags and found a flat patch of grass. “It actually makes sense. We’re short-staffed, the budget’s been slashed, and I work a lot. Now that we’re into May, I’m not needed at the farm as much. My time is better spent here.”
I sighed. “But you’re sleeping on the ground.”
“I’ve got an inflatable sleeping pad. It’s great.”
I shook my head, equal parts annoyed and impressed by his attitude toward primitive conditions. I could only sleep when equipped with a sound machine, an eye mask, and a fancy pillow.
“I want to be close without invading your home, so this is an easy solution. I was living in my childhood bedroom anyway. About time I got my own place.”
“Your own place?” I scoffed. Unbelievable. “It’s a tent.”
He waggled his brows. “This thing is top of the line, with two rooms. It’s swanky.”
With a roll of my eyes, I turned toward the house. Fine. If he wanted to sleep on the ground and freeze his ass off, who was I to argue? “I’m going to go feed Vincent.”
Inside, I settled into the rocking chair in his room and got Vincent latched. Six weeks in, and this kid was a pro. Maybe it hadn’t been easy, but it was incredible, the way my body could feed and sustain him.
As I rocked, I picked up my phone and debated calling my friends. This entire situation was ridiculous.
But zipping in behind that thought was another one. This one unexpected. Maybe Jasper was serious. Maybe he would be a great dad and prove the gossipy old bags wrong.
Eyes squeeze shut, I quickly extinguished the idea. I couldn’t let myself get hopeful that he’d step up.
He was a virtual stranger, a playboy, and, if the town rumor mill was to be believed, not the most reliable guy.
But he was Vincent’s dad. There was no changing that.