Chapter 36
Evie
Ihad no idea a family trip to Costmart could be so much fun.
We’d piled into the car, eager to escape the drama of the day before, and headed out of town, despite the rain.
My phone had been blowing up nonstop with texts and calls from my coworkers.
No one had heard anything more. We didn’t even know if Louisa had been arrested or if the encounter had been related to Will’s murder.
My stomach had churned all morning.
When Jasper had suggested taking a ride to Costmart to stock up on diapers and pick out a few new outfits for our little meatball of a baby, I jumped at the opportunity.
It had never occurred to me that a mundane task like picking up necessities with the person I loved could be so cozy and fun.
Arguing over the playlist on the drive and pushing the cart around the store?
More enjoyable than I could have imagined.
And that was before we freaked out over all the infant Halloween costumes on display.
I was giddy the whole way home. Jasper’s trunk was stuffed full. We’d even picked out a highchair, since we’d started dabbling in solid foods. It felt like a massive new mom milestone.
As we pulled into my driveway, I couldn’t help but grin at Jasper.
Dimple popping, he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
I was instantly consumed by a wave of peace. Safety and contentment had somehow become my companions, and I hadn’t really noticed until now. Was this what I had been missing my entire life? This feeling, the ease that came with knowing that I wasn’t in it alone?
He leaned in to kiss me, but I pulled back before he could. We’d been snacking on kettle corn, and I was certain I had a piece stuck between my teeth. Still grinning at him, I flipped down the visor to check myself in the mirror.
As I turned toward it, a dark brown folder slid out, startling me, and landed in my lap. I picked it up to put it back but froze when the words typed on the label at the top registered. Evangelina Marino and Vincent Marino.
My stomach dropped and my vision went a little blurry, but I blinked rapidly, clearing it, and opened the folder.
Jasper tensed. “Evie, wait—”
Ignoring him, I pulled out a stack of neatly organized papers.
The first line of the first page caused bile to rise in my throat.
Petition for a Paternity Test?
The next was labeled Sample Parenting Plan.
Then Custody Agreement Draft and Child Support Calculation Guidelines.
Despite the heat outside, the temperature in the car plummeted. The only sound was the pounding of my pulse and the rustling of the papers.
A rush of humiliation flooded me, and my eyes filled with tears. Dropping the documents, I covered my face.
How could I have been so na?ve? I thought he loved me. That what we had was real. That we’d bonded and grown. That we were doing life together.
“Evie,” he rasped. “Let me explain.”
I dropped my hands and turned to him, red crowding my vision.
“Was all this part of the plan?” I unbuckled my seat belt and shifted, needing to put distance between myself and this man.
“Was all this”—I gestured between us—“just a legal strategy? Make me comfortable so you can catch me off guard and take my son from me?”
Without waiting for him to respond, I threw the door open and climbed out, then I unhooked Vincent’s car seat from its base with a violent jerk.
The sharp movement startled him awake, and he wailed.
Dammit. I really was a shit mom.
Jasper had already rounded the car and was standing next to me as I fumbled to put Vincent’s binkie in his mouth.
“Nothing has been filed,” he said. “Gabe and Brian drafted those for me weeks ago. I forgot they were even there.”
I shook my head. A person didn’t draw up legal paperwork to litigate the well-being of their infant casually and then forget about it.
I’d foolishly trusted him. And here he was, making choices for me, not with me.
“You know me better than that,” he pleaded. “Have I ever done anything to jeopardize Vincent’s well-being? Or yours?”
“It’s hard to say when I don’t really even know you.” My stomach churned. “You slept in my yard for months and have been sleeping in my bed for weeks, but we’re still practically strangers. This is a messy situation filled with too many unanswered questions.”
He stepped closer and crossed his arms over his chest. “Ask me anything. I’m an open book.”
“What are we even doing?” Tears streamed down my face. Shit. Crying was the fastest way to lose an argument, but I couldn’t help myself. “This feels temporary.”
He reeled back like he had been hit. “Nothing about my feelings for you or Vincent are temporary,” he said, his voice a low growl. “You asked to go slow. You kept demanding space. I gave it to you. You were the one with the trust issues.”
My stomach twisted. He wasn’t wrong. It had been me. I was the problem. Always had been.
“And you can’t blame me for exploring my legal rights,” he tacked on. “In the early stages, you could barely even stand to let me inside your home.”
His sudden anger was unnerving. Jasper was always so calm and easygoing, yet in a matter of seconds, he was close to yelling.
“Custody has always been the elephant in the room,” he said, his shoulders deflating. “These are standard things. Look them over if you like. If you do, you’ll see that this isn’t an ambush. I’m not trying to take Vincent from you.”
My hands shook and my heart raced. Those papers, which, admitted, I’d only skimmed, were proof that it was possible for Jasper to take Vincent. And I wouldn’t survive it if he did.
“I think you should go back to the farm,” I said, willing my tears to stop.
“I’m his dad,” he gritted out. “I deserve to be here. But that’s not why I stayed. I stayed because I love you both.”
Eyes closed, I racked my brain for a way to make him understand my concerns. But the adrenaline flowing through my veins had made rational thought impossible. I needed space. I needed to think. But I couldn’t do that with him standing here, looking at me with kindness I wasn’t sure I deserved.
My fears were ruining everything. Just like they always had. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to ask him to stay. To sit down and calmly discuss this like rational, mature adults. But that wasn’t possible right now.
“Jasper,” I said coldly. “We have a lot to discuss. But I’m hurt, and it’s hard for me to find the right words. The thought that you could take him from me? I can’t explain how badly it terrifies me. And for now, I need to be alone so I can get a handle on all of this.”
He dropped his head, lacing his fingers at his nape. “I understand,” he murmured. “I’ll be back in the morning to stay with Vincent while you go to the office.”
My chest tightened. I appreciated those words more than he knew. After the police had showed up for Louisa and had taken her away, I didn’t know what to expect. And I had to be at work to talk to the board. I had to check in with several teams and try to figure out this mess.
Jasper spent Mondays with Vincent, which meant I didn’t have to stress about daycare pickup times, allowing me to start the week off strong.
He crouched and kissed Vincent’s forehead, then ran his fingers over his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow, bud,” he said. Without looking at me, he popped the trunk and started unloading the things we’d bought.
He set the bags on the porch, all without saying a word, while I remained where I was, frozen in the middle of the driveway.
As he drove away, I couldn’t take my eyes off his car, even as my vision blurred and my heart cracked in two.
Hours later, as I cleaned up Vincent’s toys and put all his new belongings away, a thought niggled at the back of my brain.
I tried to ignore it, even focusing on what I had to do tomorrow, but it wouldn’t leave me alone.
Because maybe I wasn’t scared of losing Vincent.
Maybe my real fear was what it would mean if I let Jasper stay.