Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
Clementine arrived home and found Rosalind pacing the front foyer, a distressed look upon her visage. She passed her cloak and gloves to a waiting footman quickly and went to her sister.
“What is wrong? You seem distressed.” A chill ran through her at the sight of Rosalind so unsettled, her composure rarely shaken.
“Lord William is in with Ravensmere right as we speak. They both wish to speak to you. I shall come with you, dearest, for support,” she said, throwing her a small smile.
Clementine frowned, dread pooling in her stomach.
“Is something the matter?” Had her family already found out she’d met one of their illegitimate sisters and were angry?
Surely not. Not even London gossip could work so fast, still…
“Do you know what they wish to speak to me about?” Her heart began to beat faster, a sense of foreboding settling deep within her chest.
“Come, dearest, and we’ll have a conversation in private,” she said, looking about as if the staff were leaning in on their conversation, just waiting to run off and speak of it elsewhere.
They entered the library. Ravensmere and William both stood, but where her sweet brother-in-law smiled in welcome, William could barely meet her eyes. “Come, sit, Clementine, there is much to discuss.” The air in the room felt heavy, thick with tension that pressed against her skin.
Clementine sat on a chair before Ravensmere’s desk, her sister sitting beside her, before both gentlemen joined them. Silence ensued, along with a bout of nerves she could not stomach. Whatever had happened? Whatever was wrong with everyone?
The quiet stretched too long, each passing second tightening the knot in her stomach. “Has someone passed away?” she asked, hoping that was not true, but why else would everyone look as if someone had? She looked to William, who still would not meet her eye.
The distance in his demeanor struck her harder than any words could have. Rosalind reached for her hand and clasped it.
“Clementine, it has come to our understanding that your father was indeed far more scandalous than we first thought. I have just finished explaining to Lord William how we came to find out about your illegitimate sisters living in Cheapside, but that is not why we’re here.
Recently, Lord Hartwell came across old correspondence between their deceased sister Lady Sarah and the duke.
It seems that he was supplying her with laudanum, her preferred substance, and in return, she was giving his grace favors no young woman ought to be gifting. ”
“Careful, Ravensmere,” William growled. “No matter what the letters said, Sarah would not gift anything she had not been bribed into. There were no favors. No gifting.”
“Apologies, Lord William, I mean no disrespect, I merely speak as I find.”
Clementine looked at everyone assembled, unable to fathom why this had anything to do with her. “I don’t understand what this has to do with me. Am I in some sort of trouble?” she asked. Her voice wavered despite her effort to remain composed.
“No, not at all,” Ravensmere said. “But unfortunately, Lord Hartwell has leaked these letters to the papers, which were printed today. The marquess has also penned a statement condemning our family, the late duke, and demanding that the engagement between his brother and Lady Clementine be called off. He’s stated he does not wish the Hartwell name to be associated with that of Ravensmere, and no family should consider an alliance after this day. ”
The room spun, and Clementine clutched her stomach, unable to fathom that their father could do something so cruel, and yet, in truth, she could.
He had left them to rot in the country, no plans for their coming out, to announce them to society and have them marry.
His own children, no less. Even the children he bore with his mistress were left with nothing.
Not until dearest Nathaniel had taken over the ducal title had their fortunes improved.
The past, once distant, now felt suffocatingly close.
But what would that mean for the family now? “Will we not be ruined if we’re to call off the wedding?” She glanced at William, willing him to look at her. She needed to see that he did not want this. That they would overcome the horrors of the past and be happy.
“There will be a scandal, yes, a much bigger one that is already brewing in the ton.”
“Lord Hartwell has done this because he is bitter I did not marry him. He was courting me, as we all know, but I have chosen William, and he is hitting out at us.”
“It doesn’t change the truth that your father ruined my sister, who is now dead because of the choices she and others made for her.” Williams words cut through her like a blade. He met her eyes, and shame washed through Clementine.
“And I’m terribly sorry for what happened to Lady Sarah, truly.
” She paused. “I do not want to sound insensitive, but do you agree with your brother? Do you wish to call off the engagement because of something neither of us had a hand in?” Her heart pounded as she waited for his answer, every hope hanging upon his next words.
William turned to the duke. “Will you give us a few minutes alone? I wish to speak to Lady Clementine if you’ll allow.”
“Of course,” the duke said, standing. He came around the desk, took Rosalind’s hand, and left the room.
Clementine turned to William. “Are you not going to marry me?” she asked, swallowing the lump in her throat at the thought of William no longer being hers.
While they had not had the smoothest start to their friendship, she now couldn’t see herself with anyone else.
“William?” she asked when he did not answer.
The silence between them felt unbearable, stretching thin with uncertainty.
He cleared his throat and met her eyes. Finally.
“When I first learned of your father’s treatment of my sister, I could not blame you for it.
I still don’t, but I’m angry and growing ever more so each day that I know this truth.
I thought by coming here today, seeing you, that I would soothe this anger, this resentment that’s coursing through my blood, but seeing you, and having known your father, all I see is His Grace looking back at me through your eyes, and I cannot…
I cannot… I don’t know how to navigate that. ”
She stared at him, unable to fathom what he was saying. Surely he did not mean that. “I’m not my father. You cannot punish me for what he did when I was but a young woman. That is unfair.” Hurt flared sharp and sudden, stealing her breath.
He nodded, a muscle working in his jaw. He ran a hand over his mouth and stared at her.
“I know it’s not. And I know what I’m saying is cruel and wrong, but I’m angry that he dared to ruin a young woman’s life, just so he could have use of her body.
Your father seemed well-versed in using others to slake his needs, his mistress bore three children to His Grace. There was no stopping his vulgarity.”
Clementine stood, striding over to the window, needing space.
“I do not blame you for the crimes of your brother, drugging me with that very same medication in the hopes of gaining favors. In fact, his kissing me was also taking liberties he was not welcome to have, and yet I still want to marry you, love you as I do.” The admission escaped her before she could stop it, raw and honest.
He looked at her quickly, before standing and striding over to her. “That is not the same as you are well aware.”
“It is the same, William. Had you not come out onto the terrace, I don’t know what he would have done.
He could have dragged me out into the gardens and ruined me, and you would never have known, and I would not have been able to fight him off.
But still, I do not blame you for your sibling’s actions, for that would be cruel and unkind, and uncalled for.
Just as you blaming me for my father's actions is the same.” She paused.
“You must see reason and not do this. I want to marry you, even with everything between us now, things that are not of our doing should not change what we feel.” She reached for him, but he pushed her away, striding over to the nearby decanter.
He poured himself a whisky and downed it in one swallow.
The rejection stung deeply.
“I need to think upon things and decide. We will remain engaged until I have worked through all that we’ve learned these past few days.”
“Well, when you’re ready, my lord, I would be pleased to know the answer first. Try not to announce it in the papers like your brother, and do come here first. Give me that respect at least.”
He frowned at her, and she glared back.
“I did not mean it like that.”
“Of course you did not. You’re innocent in all this, but I’m the villain, yes.
” She stared at the door. “Mayhap we ought not to marry after all. I don’t think I can love a man who blames me for the actions of others.
Both our kin have been cruel. I do not want a husband who’s fickle, who is influenced and reactive to such activities. ”
Her heart cracked with each word, but she refused to let him see how deeply he had wounded her.
“Clementine,” he called, coming after her when she went to leave. He clasped the door handle just as she reached for it.
“Let me out. There is nothing further to say between us. If you get to choose your brother, I will choose my father. As wrong as both those actions are, that is what you’re doing right now, and it’s unforgivable.”
“I have not sided with Hartwell, I merely need time to think.”
“Well, you may think all you like. I will not marry you. Not now.” She pushed his hand away from the door and wrenched it open. It slammed into William, and she ignored his curse as she started up the stairs. Each step felt heavier than the last, her composure slipping with every movement.
Tears pooled in her eyes, and by the time she made the top landing, they were falling freely down her cheeks. How could he do something like this to her? He was no better than his sibling. No better than her father.
And yet, despite everything, her heart still ached for what she had just lost.