Chapter Four
………………………….
Henri
I LOST TRACK OF TIME AND sanity.
The deeper the cave system swallowed me, the worse I lost myself.
The cave—with an altar, cupboard full of skulls, and carved seating for devils to watch fucked-up ceremonies—chilled my bones until I turned numb.
The energy in that place coated my skin with goosebumps.
I wanted to leave as soon as I stepped foot inside it and only stayed long enough to ransack the boxes and cupboards, looking for something to help me do whatever it was that I would do.
Nothing.
Nothing but a torch with half-dead batteries.
I had no idea what my plan was.
I was barefoot, freezing, and frankly, I feared myself.
Feared how fucking good it’d felt to squeeze the life out of Charles.
How empty my mind was as I added yet another soul to my tally.
I felt no guilt.
No remorse.
Nothing but single-minded determination to find Ily.
Fisting the torch, I eyed up the crevices leading from the large cave where death dripped down the walls. The one to the right was the largest. The one slightly to my left utterly uninviting with its ill-fitting crack and jagged rocks.
I chose that one.
If I wanted to hide, I’d probably go that way. Choosing the least inviting direction to dissuade those chasing me.
Twisting a little, I stepped into the dank, damp chill.
My stolen paintball gun whacked and cracked against the narrow walls, hindering me a little as I clicked on the torch and left behind fake sconces and a blood-stained altar.
I stopped counting minutes as I followed the long seam, heading deeper and deeper into the earth.
Every step, the blackness inside me billowed, matching the blackness swallowing me whole.
I feared the beast within me.
The thirst for blood.
The hunger for carnage.
All around me, heavy rock suffocated the sounds of existence, making it feel as if I’d been buried alive. I walked in a grave with no ending, laid to eternal damnation beneath soil full of saltwater.
On and on, I walked.
Heard no one.
Saw nothing.
Flashes of what I’d done to Charles popped like holograms in the gloom.
His eyes as I snuffed them out.
His lips as they turned blue.
His death had been satisfying but also…hollow.
It hadn’t granted me peace.
If anything, it’d opened a clawing, rabid hunger inside to do it again. And again. To eradicate every son of a bitch on this island until I was the only one.
I sniffed back the whiff of paint on my soggy clothes as I travelled through perpetual cave-dark night.
The journey acted like a sedative on the snarling mayhem in my veins.
It gave me space to think instead of act impulsively, and by the time the narrow pathway spat me out into another cave, I bordered human once again.
The click of my torch as I turned it off echoed in the rock-wrapped chamber. I didn’t need any light as the cave had electricity—burning brightly from exposed light bulbs suspended from the ceiling by thick plastic-wrapped wire.
Glancing around, I spied a few things of interest.
The uneven ground was soaked with the black-crimson of dried blood. A heavy wooden box tucked to the side looked like a treasure chest of murder. A heavy-duty hose hung, coiled and sleeping against the wall. The whiff of ocean filled the space, doing its best to tease my nose with wild water instead of the lingering stench of viscera.
Whatever went on in here would make even the sickest serial killer blanch.
It looked like a butcher’s workshop—an abattoir to chop up meat.
Swallowing hard, I stepped toward the box. With gritted teeth, I lifted the lid and found things that made my spine shiver.
A bone saw.
A small axe.
Heavy-duty scissors, filleting blades, even a small battery-powered chainsaw.
If I wasn’t so numb, I might’ve done something foolish like throw up.
But the blackness kept me anesthetised.
The darkness kept me shielded.
Running my fingers over the tools of dismemberment, I chose the small axe and continued on my way.
Another crack to the right.
A short, muffled scream echoing down its path.
My hands curled around the torch and axe as I squeezed into the chasm. My toes turned to ice, and the stupid gun slung across my back kept catching on jagged rocks.
I hoped Kyle was up ahead.
I’d teach him a lesson of what it felt like to be sliced and diced.
Ducking beneath a low outcropping of stone, I scowled as my torch flickered and dimmed.
Victor will murder you if you go on a killing spree.
My steps slowed.
The faintest nudges of commonsense acted like shards of light through the dark fog of my mind.
I was a guest and governed by certain laws.
I couldn’t let myself go.
I still had to live here. Still had nowhere else to go—
Another scream.
Followed by a masculine laugh.
My jaw clenched.
The urge to join in the pain almost consumed me again.
The fog grew thicker. My heart turned blacker.
But…reality made me pause.
I could explain away Charles.
I didn’t have to explain anything at all.
No one had seen me kill him.
Anyone could’ve done it.
No cameras out here—
At least, I don’t think so.
My eyes shot to the craggy roof as I followed the snaking stone path and stepped into yet another cave. No blinking red lights recorded my every move. No signs of cameras anywhere.
My torch beam skimmed this new cave, dancing over salt-encrusted stalagmites and sweeping over shadowy pockets. Seemed Victor hadn’t brought electricity any farther—
A bloodcurdling scream pierced my eardrums.
I froze.
“That’s a good girl,” a man crooned. “I love it when you succumb. Such a good, wonderful girl.” A man. A psychopath.
“Don’t!” a woman begged. “Stop. Please don’t—”
I moved before I could stop myself.
Dodging a few boulders, I followed the natural shape of the cave into another chamber.
My feet slammed to a stop as I stumbled onto a scene straight out of a dirty BDSM porno.
Two jewels. Two Masters. Coarse rope binding their prey to conveniently tall stalagmites. Neither of the jewels were shot with paintballs. In fact, they looked remarkably unbruised.
The strawberry-blonde jerked as she noticed me. Her golden collar twinkled against her throat thanks to unusable cellphone torches that the men had arranged as uplights against the cave walls.
“What the fuck are you staring at?” a bald Master spat. He stood before the pretty strawberry-blonde with his hand in his undone slacks and his hard cock in his fist. Shirtless, he showed off a gym-toned body all while his annoyance faded beneath smug arrogance. “Like what you see?”
Keeping the axe hidden behind my right thigh, I shrugged. “Where did you get the rope?”
“Always come prepared.” The other Master with receding black hair and piercing ebony eyes tapped his nose. “Once a Boy Scout. Always a Boy Scout.”
Strolling forward, ensuring I kept my posture intrigued instead of threatening, I cocked my chin at the surprisingly calm jewels. “How will you determine who’s the winner? None of them are covered in paint.”
“Meh.” The bald one shrugged. “We’re not really into competition. Penny and Abigail know they’ve got it good with us. They came to find us, didn’t you, girls?”
The strawberry-blonde, who’d practically begged at Victor’s feet for redemption before Emerald Bruises started, nodded. “We know we’re lucky.” She glanced at the auburn-haired girl. “Don’t we, Pen?”
“Master S and Master B are very good to us.” Penny nodded with a soft smile. “We’re grateful we found them so easily. We’re safe with them.”
My ears pricked for lies.
I found none.
Strange…
“Which one was screaming?” I asked quietly.
The blonde blushed. “I was, Master H. But…it’s a game, you see—”
“A game?” My eyes widened.
“A game where we’re the big bad assholes, and they’re our meek little toys.” The bald guy released his dick and pointed at his friend. “We indulge in all sorts. Have you never heard of mutual fun without pain?” He scoffed. “Stewart and I like to stick to ourselves, alright? It was pure luck we stumbled onto our girls, and we have no intention of giving them up, so run along and—”
“Did I say I wanted a piece?”
“You’re certainly watching them like you do.”
“I’m looking for my own.” My voice turned thick as I asked the blonde, “Where’s Ily?”
She flinched. “W-We separated. I’m not sure which way they would’ve gone after we left.”
“They?”
“She was with Peter and Rachel and a bunch of others,” Penny answered.
“Fuck’s sake, you’re ruining the mood, man,” Stewart muttered. “Go away.”
The urge for bloodshed rushed up my gullet.
These men were just as bad as all the rest.
I should exterminate them. Slaughter them. Save the jewels and—
Condemn myself to Victor’s wrath.
I’d already pushed my limits where he was concerned.
What if he snapped and killed me, and Ily was left all alone? Alone and at the mercy of Kyle?
Swallowing hard, I stepped back.
It wasn’t my job to save these jewels.
It didn’t even look like they wanted to be saved.
I wouldn’t interfere, but I would threaten them…just a little.
Casually holding up the axe, I made eye contact with the two Masters. “I’m not sure if you’ve heard the castle gossip, but I killed Daxton Hall and permanently disabled a guy called Roger. Instead of punishing me, Victor gave me a job.”
“Yeah, we heard.” Stewart nodded with a wince. “You’re his in-house exterminator.” He glanced at his partner. “Ben and I are fully aware how strict Victor runs his home, and we’ve never given him any reason to discipline us.” He crossed his arms. “We pay our membership fees, come for some R and R, and leave.”
Stewart took over. “Like we said, we, eh…we’re not like the others.”
I laughed under my breath. “Bullshit.”
“It’s true,” Ben, the bald guy, jumped in. “We have tamer tastes than the rest.” His eyes narrowed. “Compared to you and the rumours circulating about your love of blood, we’re probably pathetic, but…we run a stressful company together. We’re the bitch of every board member we stupidly appointed, and this is the only time we get to de-stress.”
“By fucking slaves.” I sniffed. “If you’re rich enough to visit Victor, then you could afford a good fuck out in the real world.” Stepping forward, I lowered my voice. “You’re fooling yourself that you aren’t one of us.”
“We’re not fooling anyone,” Stewart said. “We know our limits. Ben and I don’t have time to date, and we can’t hire prostitutes if that’s what you’re getting at. Our company is public and of a sensitive nature. We’re watched every fucking moment. The board would steal our company if there was even a whisper of controversy. In fact, they’ve been trying to do exactly that for years. The one time I risked going on Tinder, the girl I matched with was one of their spies. So…fuck you and your judgement. We want companionship as much as the next guy. It sucks we’ve had to resort to this, but…Victor provides us a safe space to play and—”
“What Stewart is trying to say,” Ben said with a sharp edge, “is…fuck off and leave us alone.”
Lowering the axe, I glanced at the jewels.
I studied their trusting eyes.
I vibrated with both man and beast and felt the nudges of that idiotic hero who’d come here hoping to save them.
But…that wasn’t my path anymore.
Without a word, I turned on my heel and left.
* * * * *
My torch stopped working in the fourth hour.
Four fucking hours and I still hadn’t found her.
I trembled with a deep-seated chill, and my ancient Casio hinted the morning had well and truly bled into afternoon.
I’d heard nothing.
Seen no one.
Just me in this ancient tomb, slowly dying in the dark.
Every crevice led to a blacker cave.
Every alley spat me out into emptiness.
I was lost and turned around and—
Pinpricks of light.
I stopped moving and peered at the cold ceiling above.
My eyes slowly adjusted to the claustrophobic blackness, aching with the need to see.
And…bit by bit, glow by glow…I did.
Raising my arm, I touched the forever-wet rock and stroked the faint luminescence.
A rustle of legs. A wriggle of insects. The light glowed brighter, then vanished as the critter scrambled behind a crag.
More light blinked on around me—like bluish stars falling from the heavens.
For the first time in my miserable existence, I stood in awe as more and more dots began to glow, following the contours of the cave, lighting up the space with cool teal radiance.
It felt as if I’d stepped into another dimension.
Found a portal and fallen through.
Glow worms.
The name popped into my head, followed by a stabbing memory of sitting on the rug in my childhood lounge and watching David Attenborough. He’d bewitched me with his iconic voice, filling my young mind with facts about all sorts of animals. His documentaries were the highlight of my weekends, all while my mother stayed locked in her room.
I’d been lonely and lost and living without any kind of guidance.
I was raised by the TV and consoled by the radio.
Enough!
Shaking my head, I pressed my fingers to the lump on my temple from the blowhole sucker-punching me.
I had to have a concussion.
No way would such a pointless, ridiculous memory dare trespass otherwise.
No way would the pathetic little boy inside me dare, fucking dare, make himself known.
Hefting the axe, I tossed away the useless torch and followed the path of glow worms.
* * * * *
I heard them before I found them.
Laughter and grunts.
Glee and despair.
Stepping from the seam that’d grown so narrow I’d had to travel sideways, I blinked at the brightness of lanterns. The four Masters didn’t notice me as two of them fucked two jewels on the ground while the other two watched.
Their paintball guns were tossed in the corner, forgotten. My stolen one clung to my back, occasionally pressing against a bruise. My jeans and t-shirt hadn’t dried. My feet were blocks of ice. And I had no doubt I was now filthy as well as orange.
Five hours I’d been stuck in this hellhole.
Five hours was a long fucking time to stay sane when every bend and shadow whispered with nightmares.
A jewel screamed as a Master rutted into her like an animal.
The cries from these jewels weren’t like the ones with Stewart and Ben. They weren’t given with an edge of acceptance or trust that their Masters wouldn’t go too far.
These men weren’t here just because they had nowhere else to go.
These men were here for pain.
Seconds ticked past as I watched.
The longer I witnessed their monstrosity, the less control I had over my sanity.
Their thrusts scrambled my mind.
Their lust seeped through me like a disease.
The loneliness of my childhood twisted into a toxic thing.
I didn’t know if it was the silence down here. The burial down here. The vacuum of everything I thought I knew and all the hauntings of memories I daren’t recall, but I’d never felt so…adrift. So lost. So fucking confused.
I’d been alone for so long.
But now I’d found men who shared my sins.
My bare feet shifted to join in.
I grew hard.
My heart pumped for the first time in hours.
I wanted Ily.
I wanted her on her back.
I wanted her heat, her fight, her kiss.
Fuck, that goddamn kiss.
I wanted to lick her again, taste her again.
I needed her to yank me back from this abyss.
This timeless, endless abyss where I became nothing more than death.
My hands balled.
The axe grew heavy.
I backed deeper into the shadows as my instincts roared into power.
As one Master came with a snarl and another moved to take his place, I fell.
Deeper into darkness.
Harder into sickness.
I no longer knew who I was.
Boy or man. Saint or sinner. Good or bad.
Watching these men…seeing myself in them…it enraged me, corrupted me, gutted me, redeemed me.
Why was I fighting it?
Why exist in such suffering?
I could be free if I—
Stop it.
Wedging a fist in my belly, I rode out the sadistic urges.
You need to get out.
I needed sunlight to banish this nightmare.
I needed open skies to resurrect me from this crypt.
I need…
I need—
Blood.
And pain.
And her.
I crashed against the wall as my floodgates smashed wide.
My teeth ached. My senses heightened. I lost myself to a creature with no name, no rules, no master.
Ily.
I have to find Ily.
I’d made the mistake of walking in darkness.
Of killing in darkness.
We were one and the same now.
Bonded by all the bad things I had done.
While Masters raped and celebrated, I stared into the black, and the black stared back, and it was over.
It opened its jaws and swallowed me down.
I sank into its belly and…ran.
Threading myself back through the chasm, I scuttled like a crab, sideways and breathing hard.
I had to get away.
I have to get the fuck out of here!
I wriggled and burrowed, desperation rising, claustrophobia clawing.
Desperate to taste fresh air.
Gasping for freedom.
Panic.
Fuck, panic.
It vised around my chest, gluing my ribcage to my heart so every breath wrenched and suffocated.
I tripped and stumbled.
Fumbled at the black wall.
Blinked with blind eyes.
With a groan that sounded as if it came from a tortured, pitiful thing, I tumbled out of the alley and back into the cave of wonders.
The glow worms flickered with indignation at my arrival.
They judged me as I collapsed to my knees like a pauper and gasped for redemption like a thief.
Pressing my sweaty forehead to the damp cave floor, I fell to my side and flopped onto my back.
Darkness.
Everywhere.
Fucking everywhere.
In me. On me. Around me.
But pinpricks.
Staring back.
Glittering like glowing sapphires, forming an entire galaxy above me.
I focused on them.
I clung to their light.
The angelical luminescence wasn’t strong enough to forgive or absolve me.
I was unforgivable.
Unredeemable.
I was nothing but blackness and death.