Chapter 6
ZARINA
Iyank down the visor mirror again, double-checking that my hair didn’t magically mess up in the last five minutes.
Tamayo’s hand on my thigh rubs soothing circles, her other hand steering the car into the parking lot.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen her drive before today, and thank god, because my pussy clenched each time she turned the damn wheel with one hand. Why is that so hot?
She puts it in park, and I flip up the visor with a snap. Now is not the time for sexy thoughts. Not when I’m moments away from visiting Alphabet House for the first time, where the woman who changed Tamayo’s life (her words, verbatim) works. It’s like going home to meet the parents.
I should check my hair again.
“You look beautiful,” Tamayo says, and I wonder if she can read my mind.
“Do I look like a mafia princess or a fashionable lesbian?” I ask.
She squeezes my thigh as if the act is more comforting than stirring. “You look like you.”
“Ugh, that doesn’t help!” I flip the visor down again, smoothing down my hair despite the fact it hasn’t moved nor changed in the last minute. Maybe I should have taken Tamayo up on the training room instead.
Tamayo chuckles, pulling the keys out of the ignition. “Why are you so nervous? You met Rita last night.”
I swallow down the words on the tip of my tongue—because she means a lot to you. That would be too vulnerable. I settle for circumvention. “I want her to like me.”
“She already does.” She leans across the console and plants a kiss on my temple like it’s totally normal for her to kiss me in private for a purpose other than mutual pleasure, and not a very new development.
I would like to physically clamp down on my heart so it stops trying to jump out of my chest.
Tamayo opens her door and steps out, popping the trunk with her key fob as she rounds the car to open my door. I take her offered hand and try not to melt into the pavement. Seriously, heart, calm the fuck down. The thing is almost worse than my pussy at this point.
I force myself to straighten my spine and not drop a single gift as we carry them from the trunk to the door. I press the automatic door button with my hip at the same moment it flies open far too fast to be anything but—
“You’re here!” Jaime skids to a stop in front of us, barely managing to keep from tackling me to the ground. They clap their hands and start taking boxes from me without prompting. “Ramona’s gonna be so happy you brought a real girl with you.”
“A real girl?” Tamayo arches a brow.
“Sorry, a femme girl,” Jaime amends. “She’s been trying to figure out makeup.”
“Oh my god, Jaime. Please learn when to stop talking.” A girl holds open the inside door, her long black hair tied back in a bouncy pony tail and the bronze skin of her face reddening with embarrassment. “Ignore them, I do.”
“Ramona, this is Zarina.” Tamayo nudges the back of Jaime’s thigh to get them moving.
I smile over my now much less precarious pile of gifts. “I’m pretty sure we got you the perfect thing. I can show you what I like to do later, if you want.”
Ramona tries to tamp down a smile. “Oh, you don’t have to. I have TikTok, it’s okay—”
“But I want to.” And I mean it.
Her face reddens, and she half-smiles at her shoes. “Um, okay. Yeah, I’d like that.”
“These boxes are heavy, can we put them down now?” Jaime whines.
“You’ve carried them five feet.” Tamayo snorts, leading us to the left down a long hallway.
Windows line the wall looking out onto the lawn and the parking lot, while the opposite has doors leading to the main office, the nurse, the library.
Jaime chatters happily as we walk, blissfully unaware of the danger they were almost in last night.
A kid dressed in baggy jeans and a hoodie steps out of the doorway at the end of the hall and stops when they see us, a wide smile splitting their face. They turn around and yell into the room. “Tamayo’s here with presents!”
The effect is instantaneous. A veritable gang of teenagers rushes out of the room and mobs us, yanking the gifts out of our hands without ceremony.
It’s a mess of yelling, pulling, ripping, and exclaiming until everything is handed out to its respective recipients or set aside for them to collect when they return.
And then all of them surround Tamayo with a chorus of thank yous, toppling her to the tile floor and giggling so madly they sound more like a gaggle of tiny school children than a horde of pubescent teens.
All the while, my heart threatens to burst out of my chest.
I wait against the wall, watching Tamayo beam and laugh and tease, watching the kids reciprocate with obvious comfort.
Like they do this often. Like Tamayo is a fixture in their lives that helps them shine a little brighter.
Each of them is here because they couldn’t stay home or struggle at school or simply want queer community.
The Alphabet House is open to any queer youth who needs it.
I wonder if Tamayo ever needed it. I know I did.
“Gracious, what is this?” Rita stands in the middle of the hallway, hands on hips and barely disguised smile on her face as she shakes her head. “My kids acting like fools? It must be a day that ends in Y.”
They all laugh, Ramona blushing furiously as she pushes off Tamayo.
Jaime tries to lie on top of her and wiggle her into the floor, but Tamayo manages to tickle them into submission and free herself.
She pops up, hair a mess and face happier than I’ve ever seen it.
I press my fingers to my chest to stop the ache. It doesn’t work.
“Look! Tamayo got me the new Zelda!” says the kid in the oversize fit who brought on the horde.
Rita arches a brow at Tamayo. “More video games for you to do instead of your homework, Harriet?”
Harriet groans. “Don’t remind me.”
Rita sighs. “That’s my job.”
“I thought your job was to make sure we don’t die,” Ramona teases.
“And y’all test me in that every day.” Rita starts herding the group, allowing Tamayo some space. “Climbing gutters to sneak out—”
“That was one time!” Mais yells.
“Break your dang necks if it wasn’t for me.” Rita shakes her head and then claps her hands. “Up and at ’em, Tamayo and Zarina are here for more than presents.”
Tamayo brushes off her pants and fixes her hair. “Hear that, guys? I’m more than a gift dispensary!”
The whole group boos as they begin to disperse, some heading back into the recreation room from whence they came and some back down the hall.
Tamayo clutches her chest like she’s been stabbed. “Wow. See what I bring y’all next time. Bunch of coal.”
“You say that every time.” Harriet rolls their eyes.
Tamayo peers at them in mock threat. “You never know, I could do it next time.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” They skip into the rec room, calling over their shoulder, “Theo, wanna play Zelda?”
“Yeah!” A kid with a mop of poorly dyed lime-green hair shaped into a mullet scurries after Harriet.
“Homework!” Rita calls after them. Neither acknowledge hearing her. She heaves an even bigger sigh than before then holds her arms out to Tamayo. “Glad to see you.”
Tamayo accepts the embrace, patting her back. “Always happy to stop by.”
Rita pulls back and half-heartedly smacks her arm. “You’ve got to stop bringing gifts. They’re getting spoiled.”
Tamayo shrugs. “It’s what they deserve.”
And then Rita’s turning to me, and I’m not ready. Last night, she was my guest and we met amongst a crowd of overdressed people right before mafia politics threatened to spill over into her world. All because of me. She must hate me. I would.
But she offers me the same embrace she did Tamayo, the same soft smile. And I accept.
“Welcome,” she says as she pats my back.
I squeeze her tight. It’s been a very long time since I was hugged for the sake of hugging. The comfort of her arms is soothing and full of acceptance, making my eyes prick. I blink it back as quick as I can.
Rita pulls back to hold me at arm’s length, studying me. “How are you doing?”
I half-smile. “All right. Thank you for asking.”
“Tamayo’s taking good care of you?”
Behind Rita, Tamayo winks with a wide smirk. I scowl back at her before turning back to Rita. “You could say that.”
“I know she’s involved in… things.” Rita frowns in distaste at the implication of those things. If she only knew the half of it. “I hope she’s not dragging you down with her.”
I want to laugh and clutch Rita closer at the same time. How quaint to think anyone but myself is the bad influence here. How quaint to think the best of me at all. I pat her arm in reassurance. “She’s not dragging me down. If anything, she’s the only thing keeping me afloat.”
“Good, good.” Rita smiles warmly at that and turns to face Tamayo. “Go help Harriet with their homework. Theo, too.”
“But I’m the fun, gay uncle figure. Not the stern mother figure.”
All Rita has to do is raise a single brow for Tamayo to break, her shoulders slumping. “Zarina?”
“Oh no.” Rita loops her arm through the crook of my elbow. “I’m stealing her.”
Tamayo groans. “I hate homework.”
“If I come back to find you three playing Zelda and no homework done, you won’t like the consequences.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Git.” Rita shoos her down the hall.
Tamayo grumbles as she trudges to the recreation room, throwing a pout at me, her bottom lip begging me to abandon Rita in favor of her. As if I have more of a choice in this than she does.
Rita tugs on my arm. “Come on. I want to show you something.”