TWENTY
I keep thinking back to my university days.
It feels like a lifetime ago.
During my first and fifth year of studying chemical engineering, Ray allowed me to focus on studying only. I was barely active and not keeping up with the business. It was rough, but it still gave me some sense of comfort, knowing that I had one less responsibility to deal with.
During all the years in the middle, Dylan was right there. He was cheering me on, oftentimes helping me with perfecting my mindset and offering his full support when needed.
When I was frustrated because I nearly missed my target, he tracked them down for me. I wouldn’t have missed but at that point, I’d been running on coffee and no sleep for around three days. It was exhausting and as soon as the target was dealt with, I collapsed.
Dylan was right there to catch me.
No matter how many partners I had, he never cared. He only wanted me to be loyal once we were officially married and to keep my affairs tidy and under wraps. And when all the pressure became too much, it was Dylan who managed to break me out of the darkness that consumed my mind.
So, why?
The man who I leaned on and cared about lied to me. Why did he lie? Why did he inflict so much pain on his body only to lie to me? It’s bound to leave scars for life.
None of this makes sense.
Two months ago, I wouldn’t have suspected anything to be wrong with his story. Yet, here I am, questioning the entire course of our relationship. He told me, numerous times, how much he cared about me.
So, why?
My chest is burning, spreading wildfire inside of my body. It prickles, like I’m being internally stabbed with a million tiny needles that pierce through my organs, deeper and deeper.
Oh.
I peel my eyes open, and it stings.
I’m underwater in my bathtub. It’s been a while since I got in here. A bubble appears as I blow some air out of my mouth, but there’s not much air left.
It hurts.
But I don’t want to move, to raise my head above the surface.
It’s easier to sit here and torment myself until I pass out from pain and the lack of oxygen than to deal with the possibility of what is happening with Dylan. I’m not an idiot; I connected the dots quickly.
Yet there’s no proof. My mind is racing, but my heart is aching. I don’t want this to be the truth. If there’s a different explanation, I’m the only person Dylan will ever tell.
It’s as if someone is sitting down on my chest, forcing me to stay underwater. I’m not struggling, and, after a few seconds, all thoughts vanish from my head, and I’m left to feel empty.
My eyes close, and I welcome the darkness.
I don’t hear anything except for my heartbeat that starts to beat slower. It’s ringing in my ears. It’s loud, compelling, and it starts to be the only thing I can focus on.
Suddenly, two hands grab my forearms and pull me out of the water. I take in a sharp, deep breath before coughing up all the water that was in my lungs. It hurts like hell to breathe again, my heart rapidly picking up the pace.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I’m met with a sharp stare from Lucas. He’s looking at me with disbelief, anger, and worry. He clutches my forearms harder, his hands trembling. All I can do is swallow and lie.
“I fell asleep.”
A scoff slips from his mouth, eyes widening. “You fell asleep,” he repeats with distaste.
That’s when I glance behind him and see Cecilia. She’s frozen in place, eyes teary and hands over her mouth. Her hands are shaking, but the rest of her body remains unmoving.
She stands like that for what feels like an hour until something snaps inside of her. Cecilia walks over, her heels clicking behind her on the tiled floor until she reaches the bathtub.
An echo fills the bathroom, and my head is turned to the side.
My right cheek stings from the impact, and even Lucas is left in a state of disbelief. The room falls silent as I cup my cheek, my flesh burning from the harsh slap.
When I turn to look at her, Cecilia doesn’t hide her tears. They’re sliding down her cheeks, lips thinned into a line and brows narrowed at me. She’s angry and isn’t hiding it.
“Your life was always like this.” Her voice is just above a whisper. “It’s been chaotic and filled with blood and danger. But it’s nothing new. Why now? What pushed you that hard over the edge for you to want to kill yourself?”
“I wasn’t!”
Defending myself only earns me an eye roll from her. Lucas hurries to bring me a big, fluffy towel. After he helps me stand up, he wraps it around me and leads me slowly toward my living room.
“You want me to believe you were just sleeping? You? A trained assassin?”
I bite my lip and try to think of an answer.
“Listen, Cecilia—”
“I’ve been listening, Noelle.” Hearing her call me by my full name instead of my nickname stings. “I’m your friend. If Lucas and I were two minutes later, you would’ve been dead!”
I lower my head in shame.
I’m not sure what I wanted to do in the first place. Cecilia’s words are correct; it looked like I was trying to drown myself. But all I wanted was for my mind to stop spinning and to think about nothing, even for a while.
“Cecilia, calm down.” Lucas tries to keep the peace, though Cecilia is still resistant.
“Calm down? Lucas, she was trying to kill herself. Don’t tell me you believe in the I-fell-asleep bullshit?”
“No.” He snorts, and I lose the only person who can help Cecilia calm down. “But she’s shaken up, and yelling at her won’t help her. You’re a doctor. Shouldn’t you know this? And we’re here to discuss something else.”
“Did something happen?”
Lucas glances between Cecilia and me. She’s reluctant, but, after a few moments, she nods her head, and Lucas turns his attention to me.
“You saw the note I gave you, right?”
I nod. “It’s just coordinates. I have them memorized and the note burned. Why?”
“Cecilia had her sister ask around. The future Italian Donna has more connections than me, and she was able to find us those coordinates. It’s an abandoned warehouse in the middle of the forest in the west.”
I furrow my brows. “In the middle of the forest?”
“Yes.” Cecilia adds and sits on the arm of the chair across from me. She’s still pissed, and I know there’s a lecture coming soon. “It’s been abandoned for the past two, three decades. It used to be a weapon warehouse for the military. It’s no longer in use, though. The state of it is decent. I don’t doubt they’ll fix it up.”
“Fix it up for what?”
Lucas swallows. “Two months from now, there will be an auction. It’s just a rumor at this point. But unless someone snitches, it will happen.”
The blood drains from my face.
“And how do I get in?”
Cecilia sighs. “There is a woman who goes by the name Madam Giselle. There’s little to no information on her origins, her whereabouts, and who she really is. All I know are the rumors.”
“Okay? Go on.”
Cecilia takes a deep breath.
“She’s no stranger to human trafficking. She always has a veil over her face and a partner for those… events. They’re always on a leash with a muzzle. Her victims are always young men, between eighteen and twenty. She’s probably in her forties, though. I’m assuming you know all of this.”
My brows crease as I blink. “No. How and why would I know this?”
Cecilia goes to the hallway and returns with a small box in her hands. She slowly opens it and pulls out the contents.
“This is why. I assumed you knew and were going to pretend to be her.”
An uncontrollable laugh slips my lips. My body trembles, and my stomach aches. Tears fill my eyes at the sight, and I can’t stop myself.
Cecilia is holding a pink collar, a pink chain, and a pink muzzle.
When I threatened Hudson to put him in those, I impulsively ordered them online. I didn’t think about it after, and I forgot that it was supposed to arrive today.
“No.” I chuckle and wipe away tears. “That was meant for, uh… Hudson.”
Cecilia looks puzzled whereas Lucas stares at me dumbfounded and with a look filled with judgment.
“I don’t even want to know.” She sighs.
“Right.” I nod. “But hey, now I can actually do that. But how should I make sure that Giselle chick doesn’t appear? Since we know nothing about her, she might make an appearance.”
“The word on the street is that she’s dead, but that’s also a rumor. Chances are fifty-fifty, though. You might as well try it.”
“There’s just one problem left.”
I don’t mind trying it out and getting caught. I’ll figure out something if it comes to that. I’m no stranger to unpredictable situations, so this shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out.
“What is it now?” Lucas sighs and slumps into the couch.
“Who do I take with me?”
Cecilia blinks. “Hudson? I mean, is there anyone else, really? No offense, but Dylan would be useless.”
I wince at the mention of his name. It’s been four days since I saw the wounds on his back, and he’s been calling and texting relentlessly. I always find an excuse not to see him, but I talk to him as if everything was perfectly fine.
It’s all Lucas and Cecilia need to see for them to glance at each other with doubt.
“Alright, spit it out. What is happening?”
I lie again. “Nothing.”
“Oh, come on.” Cecilia rolls her eyes. “You winced at the mention of Dylan’s name.”
“Let’s just say I’m having some doubts about marrying him.”
A sigh of relief comes from both of them at the same time.
“Finally. What took you so long?”
“What?” I’m baffled.
Lucas tries to take a soft approach but fails miserably. He takes my hand in his and strokes the back of it. “You see, sweetie, as good as he is, he’s not someone who deserves a woman of your caliber.”
I blink. “I’ve known you for years, and you tell me this now ?”
“Something obviously happened. Would you have listened if I told you this earlier?”
“No,” I confirm.
“There you have it.” He nods. “For what it’s worth, I knew you’d realize your worth some day.”
It couldn’t be further from the truth, but I don’t say it. Instead, I continue to talk to them about what I’ll need them to do in the near future. Cecilia continues to stare at me, angry, but she doesn’t try to lecture me. Not now, at least.
I don’t know what I’d tell her. It was an accident. But subconsciously, I had to have known I would’ve drowned, right?
The more I think about it, the less it makes sense. Rationally, I should be figuring out what Dylan is hiding. But for some reason, I can’t allow myself to do so. It means that the fantasy I have of him in my head would shatter to pieces.
Everything I know will burn to ashes in the blink of an eye, and I’m not ready to light the match.
Was I always this big of a coward?
“There’s just one problem, though.”
Lucas and Cecilia turn to look at me, waiting to hear me out.
“Hudson seems to be avoiding me.”
Lucas frowns. “Really? That man is avoiding you ? How strange.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He lifts a shoulder. “You’ll get there. But it is a problem, since you do need him. Figure it out, okay? We have two months.”
He’s right.
This isn’t the time to allow Hudson to go missing on me. I need answers regarding Dylan, and I need him. The more I think about it, the more I abhor the idea of having to need Hudson.
But at this point, that's all I have.
The hope of him being helpful in taking down that organization.
I’ve been drowning in self-pity for long enough. It’s already been too long since Hudson started ignoring me. It shouldn’t bother me. In fact, it shouldn’t even be a priority right now, but it is, and I don’t know how to stop it.
Slowly, it’s becoming an obsession.
Well, the obsession with his family has been deeply rooted inside of my mind, body, and soul since the day I was born. Yet, it never felt quite like this. The fact that all calls are going straight to voicemail and he isn’t responding to the many texts I’ve sent is starting to piss me off beyond words.
Cecilia has practically moved in. Unless she’s at work, she’s with me twenty-four hours a day. She’s even following me to the bathroom and is always with me while I take a bath. While I understand her concern, it’s suffocating.
Lucas is out there doing God knows what. He’s supposed to call any day now to check in; in the meantime, I’m supposed to be sitting still and trying to reach Hudson, who better be dead at this point.
Because if he’s ignoring me, he’ll wish he was dead.
“It’s Saturday.” Cecilia strolls into my bedroom, and I frown.
“Are you going somewhere?” I bite my tongue before the word finally slips out.
“We are going out. I found this cute little club an hour away.”
My brows shoot up. “An hour away? Why so far?”
She lifts a shoulder. “A change of scenery will do you good.”
“May I ask why you’re dragging me out?”
“For the past few months, you haven’t really been yourself. So, let’s bring you back. And of course, I want to check the club out, but I can’t leave you all alone.”
“Don’t you have a morning shift tomorrow?”
“Eh, who cares? Go get ready. You have an hour.”
I glance at the clock and notice that it’s already nine in the evening. We had dinner not too long ago. With a sigh, I walk over to the bathroom to take a shower. Cecilia is on my heels, sitting on the chair she personally put in my bathroom.
“Go on,” she urges. “I’m just standing guard.”
“I won’t do it again, you know. No need to be here.”
“So you do admit it was done deliberately?”
“No.” I sigh. “It wasn’t.”
She snorts. “Then, yes, I’ll be here. Now, shower. You’re running out of time.”
God, someone save me.