SAVAGE
“That didn’t sound good.”
“Cause it wasn’t. It wasn’t good at all.” I ran my hand down my clenched jaw. “I’ve got a kid.”
“Say what?”
“You heard me… I got a fucking kid.” Rooster looked as stunned as I felt.
Hell, after hearing the news from Londyn, my head was all over the place.
I didn’t know what to think or do. I leaned my head back against the seat.
“He’s four years old, and I never even knew he existed.
I wouldn’t know now if I hadn’t come here tonight. ”
“Is that what all the fussing was about?”
“You could say that.”
“Damn, brother. What are you gonna do?”
“I wish I knew.” I turned and looked out the window as I told him, “Just take me to the clubhouse.”
“You got it, brother.”
Knowing I needed a minute to collect myself, Rooster kept quiet as he drove me to the clubhouse.
As soon as we got there, I went straight to my room and started rummaging through all of my drawers, searching everywhere until I found the letters that she’d written me.
I sat down on my bed and opened the last one she’d sent.
Dear Malcomb,
I hope you are doing well, or at least better than I am these days. It’s been almost a year since we last spoke, and I’m still dealing with a heavy heart and a head full of questions. I’ve tried to make sense of what happened between us, but I keep coming up at a complete loss.
When you ended things, it felt like the ground was pulled from beneath me.
I still feel that way. I know it might seem stupid to you, but I never saw it coming.
I thought things were good between us. I've replayed our last conversation over and over, searching for clues or hints as to why you decided to break things off. But I've come up empty-handed.
I really wanted to talk to you—not just about the breakup, but something else important. I tried calling and coming by the clubhouse, but I was always turned away. I’ve written letter after letter. I have no idea if you knew I was pregnant or not. I tried to tell you. Countless times.
Anyway, I had him. His name is Dalton, and he’s beautiful, Malcomb.
He’s the most beautiful baby. He’s got my lips and rounded nose, but he has your eyes and lopsided grin.
He’s strong and healthy, and he has such a soft temperament—I think he gets that from me.
I wish so much that you could see him and hold him.
I just know you would love him the way I do.
I still don’t know how we got here. I don’t know how to fix it, but I do know that you’ve never lied to me, Malcomb.
Never once. I have no reason to believe that you lied to me that day, but I do.
I think you lied about everything. I think you still love me, and if that is the case, please answer me.
If I’m wrong and you really meant all those things you said, then I’ll find a way to move on. If I don’t hear back from you, I will consider that your answer. I will stop trying to reach out and let you live your life.
But please know, my heart is still yours.
I fear it always will be.
Sincerely,
Londyn
Fuck me.
I’d been such a goddamn fool. She knew me better than anyone. Of course, she knew I still loved her and wanted her—even when I did everything in my power to prove otherwise. My silence had made her think I’d turned my back on her and our kid.
But that wasn’t the case.
Not even close.
Londyn had always been the one for me. I knew that. Hell, everyone knew it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see her or talk to her or read her letters. I couldn’t. I knew it would only make it that much harder to keep myself from trying to get her back.
But she didn’t know that.
She just knew I wouldn’t talk to her.
The thought made me think of Candace and the asshole who’d left her in the lurch.
She barely knew the guy, but it still fucked her up that he’d cut her off.
And I blamed him one hundred percent. I didn’t know him.
I didn’t know his story. Didn’t care to know.
I just knew he’d fucked over my friend and left her to deal with a pregnancy scare on her own.
And without even knowing what I was doing, I’d done the same to Londyn.
Damn.
I swallowed hard, feeling the lump in my throat grow as I read another letter. Each one left me engulfed with emotion. I’d missed so much, years with her and time with Dalton, and I only had myself to blame. I had to fix it, and I have to fix it now. And there was only one way to do that.
I needed to see her.
There was just one problem.
I had no idea where she lived.
I needed Bones—the club’s hacker. I would’ve just gone down to his room, but it was late. He was more than likely with Elsie, so I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and dialed his number. After a couple of rings, he answered, “You got Bones.”
“Hey, brother. I hate to call so late, but I need you to do something for me.”
“Yeah, no problem.” He cleared his throat, then asked, “What do ya need?”
“I need you to find some information on someone.”
“Okay. Give me a second.” I could hear him shuffling around, and moments later, he was back. “What’s the name?”
“Londyn Hollings. She lives in the city, but I have no idea where.”
“Okay. Shouldn’t be too hard to track her down.”
“I need everything you can find on her, brother. And I mean everything, especially over the last five years.”
“I’m on it," Bones replied, his fingers already clacking away on his keyboard.
I didn’t want to waste time, so I changed out of my suit and put on a T-shirt and jeans I had stashed in my dresser. I grabbed my spare boots from the closet, and I’d just slipped them on when Bones announced, “Okay. I think I found it.”
“Good. What’d you find?”
“Looks like she’s been living in an apartment on 5th Street for almost a year. Before that, she lived near campus. Looks like she’s working as a legal aid or something at the Richland firm on South. Other than that, there's not much else on her, but I can keep digging.”
“Thanks, brother. Text me her number and address and email me the rest.”
“You got it.”
I hung up the phone, and in a blink, a message came through from Bones. I got the number and used it to send Londyn a message, then shoved my phone in my back pocket and started out the door. I was just about to reach the back door when I heard Rooster call out to me, “Where ya headed, brother?”
“I gotta go talk to her.”
“Figured that was coming... You need a ride?”
“Nah, I’ll just take Betty.”
I had two bikes—a newer Street Glide Harley and Betty. Betty was my ol’ man’s Tour Glide. He’d gotten right after he and my mother married, and I’d been working for the past couple of years to get her back in pristine shape. And I’d done it. She was up and running, and I was eager to get rolling.
Rooster must’ve sensed my impatience and didn’t bother arguing. He simply nodded and said, “Just let me know if you need me.”
“You know I will.”
I headed out to the parking lot, and once I got over to my bike, I kicked my leg over the seat and slipped on my helmet.
Seconds later, I was through the gate and driving towards the address Bones had sent me.
I had so many things I wanted to say to her, but I had to be careful with my words.
I couldn't just show up on her doorstep and expect her to just forget the past and welcome me with open arms.
It was going to take time—for both of us.
When I got to her place, I took a deep breath and got off my bike, then made my way up to Londyn’s front door.
I took a deep breath and raised my hand to knock, hesitating only for a moment before finally making contact with the door.
After what felt like an eternity, Londyn opened the door, and she looked absolutely stunning.
She was wearing a simple white nightgown that hugged her curves in all the right places, and her hair was pulled back in a messy bun.
“Malcomb.” Her brows furrowed with a mix of anger and confusion. “What are you doing here.”
“I told you. We need to talk.”
“It’s three in the morning.”
“I know what time it is, Londyn, and I don’t care. I’m not waiting another second.”
On impulse, I stepped forward, closing the distance between us, then slipped my arms around her, pulling her close.
She didn’t resist as I lowered my mouth to hers, kissing her with a passion that words could never express.
As our lips parted, Londyn let out a soft moan, giving me all the encouragement I needed.
I ran my hands down the sides of her body, feeling the curves of her hips and the softness of her thighs.
She pressed herself against me, her body molding perfectly to mine.
I could feel her heat even through the fabric of her nightgown.
I released her mouth as I stepped forward, pinning her back against the wall. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”
She looked up at me with a look of longing in her eyes as she muttered, “I’ve missed you, too but...”
“Before you say anything, I need to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry about it all.”
“But it’s not that simple.” She took a step back, breaking our embrace. “I know about Dad and what he said to you.”
“What?” I gasped, unable to hide my surprise.
“He finally broke down and told me tonight.” I could see the anguish in her eyes as she told me, “He should’ve never said those things to you, Malcomb. They weren’t true... I wasn’t better off without you. Please tell me you know that.”
“I don’t know. Maybe you were... maybe you still are, but it doesn’t matter.” I placed my hands on her hips, pulling her close once again. “Not anymore.”
Tears filled her eyes as she said, “There’s so much, Malcomb.”
“I know... We’ll get through it. We have to.” Her eyes remained locked on mine as I told her, “I’m not losing you, Londyn. Not again.”
I lowered my mouth to hers, kissing her with passion and hunger as I pulled her even closer. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the sensation of her touch. Having her in my arms again made me forget about everything else. It was just her and me.
Her arms wrapped around my neck, her fingers tangled in my hair as I delved deeper into her mouth, and when she inched closer, pressing her warm body against mine, I could feel the blood rushing to my already throbbing erection. My need for her consumed me, making it impossible to think.
“Dalton.”
And just like that, I felt like I’d been doused with ice water.
I took a step back, leaving her in a flustered daze.
Her eyes were filled with hunger, leaving no doubt that she didn’t want me to stop, and in all honesty, I didn’t want to either.
But we weren’t alone, and there was no way in hell I was going to take a chance on him walking in on us. “Damn, I wasn’t fucking thinking.”
A soft smile slipped across her face. “We were both caught up in the moment. Besides, he’s sound asleep.”
It was still hard to believe that I had a four-year-old son. It was even harder to believe that he was just in the next room. “Can I see him?”
She hesitated for a moment, then sighed and told me, “He had a hard time getting to sleep. We both did.”
“I’ll be careful not to wake him.”
She nodded, then led me down the hall and into her bedroom. A nightlight illuminated the space, casting a warm glow over the room. In the center of the bed, nestled under the covers, was a small figure nestled in the bed, his chest rising and falling with each breath.
I couldn't help but feel a pang of regret and guilt as I looked at my son. I hadn't been there for him, hadn't been there for his mother when she needed me the most. But now I was here, and I was going to do everything in my power to make it up to him and to Londyn.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and studied my son's face.
He had curly blond hair and a nose that was too big for his face, but he was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
I reached out and brushed a loose strand of hair from his forehead, and he stirred slightly in his sleep.
My emotions were starting to get the best of me as I whispered, “Is he really mine?”
“Yes, he’s most definitely yours.”
Even as I heard her say the words, I couldn’t believe it.
He was beautiful and healthy, and he was mine.
Five years earlier, my world had been turned upside down, and tonight, I’d been given the chance to right it once again. It wouldn’t be easy, but for him, I would move mountains.