Chapter 25
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I ignore the blasted device and slam the trunk down. The hinges soften the slam, which only increases my desire to ram my fist into the car. Or the windshield. The side of the goddamn villa. Anywhere.
My phone vibrates again. I whip it out of my pocket, ready to explode on whoever is calling me yet again. I’ll call you fucking back, asshole. The words are right there, waiting to be unleashed on whatever unsuspecting prick is calling.
And it’s my mom.
I take a few breaths, stare at the ocean beyond the dunes, exhale deeply, and pick up. “Mom.”
“Max. Hey, honey. Did I catch you at a bad time?”
I swipe my hand over my forehead and lean back against the car, facing the villa. “Nah. It’s as good a time as any. What’s up?”
“Is something wrong, honey?”
“No, Mom. I’m sorry, I’m just… The project here is wrapping up. I’m preparing to head out.”
“Oh. So, you”re heading back home? To Ginger?”
“To—No. I’m not headed back to her. How did you even know she’s at my house?”
“Well, she called me. She wanted to check to see how you were doing.”
“She called you?”
“Don’t be mad at her. She was worried about you. But you say you’re not going back for her?”
“No, Mom.”
“That’s good.” In the background I hear my dad say, “Riva, what’re you doing?”
“I’m not doing anything. I just…I think it’s best that he not get involved with someone going through a separation.”
My head falls back, and my gaze lifts to the sky.
Dad says to Mom, “Riva, don’t meddle.”
“I’m not meddling. He said he wasn’t going back to her, anyway. And I’m his mother. I’ll never stop worrying. Worrying differs from meddling.”
“You called him. He’s out of the country on a project.”
“He said it’s a good time. It’s a good time, right, sweetie?”
“Yes, Mom. Tell Dad I said hi.”
“I’m so glad you’re not going back to Ginger. I like her. She’s a very nice young woman, don’t get me wrong. But you two were not right for each other?—”
“Riva!”
“All I’m saying is she’s not what you need.”
“Mom, you don’t have to worry. I promise you. I’m not interested in Ginger.”
“Good. She’s not what you need.”
“Riva!”
“What do I need, Mom?”
“You need someone who challenges you in a good way. You’ve always liked a challenge. And you need someone who sees past your football fame or SEAL team persona. You need someone who is real. You’ve got a big heart. I mean, I’m your mom. But you always put your guard up if someone is into you for anything other than you.”
“Riva, for god’s sake, just let him tell you about his day and hang up the phone.”
“He asked me.” She’s speaking to my dad, and I can’t help but grin. It’s surprising Dad hasn’t picked up a handset to join in the conversation. “The fact that you let Ginger stay at your apartment shows what a big heart you have. You’ll never turn your back on someone, no matter what. What you need is someone who will do the same for you.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll take it under advisement.”
The call continues with her giving me updates on her neighbors, my cousins, and a couple of people from my hometown I don’t remember. I halfway listen because I’m evidently a glutton for punishment. But at the forefront of my thoughts is Sloane.
Do I think she lied to me? No. If I take a beat, and give it consideration, it’s not in her chemical makeup. She’s straightforward, and I like that about her. She doesn’t care at all that I was in special forces. I doubt she watches football, and if I told her I turned down a pro football career, she wouldn’t look at me any differently. And she has a big heart. She’ll do anything for her sister. Even when she knows it’s wrong.
When she falls for someone, that person will be a lucky son of a bitch. Because she loves with her whole heart.
Meeting up with Dr. Kallio felt like a gut punch. Blindsided me with a wicked jab. But, hurting me wasn’t her intention. Apparently, we were wrong about Dr. Kallio. If we’d been right, she wouldn’t have let Sloane go. She wouldn’t be rehiring her.
After the call with Mom ends, I press Erik’s name.
“Erik,” he says over the faint sound of computer keys clicking.
“I’m calmer now. She’s staying. Should I stay?” There’s a private jet waiting for us.
“No. Come on back. You can go to the debriefing in D.C.”
“Is she safe here?”
“We’ve got two contract guys close by. They can get to her fast if needed. Let her go back. Spread that report of hers far and wide. I’ll keep a team monitoring the building.”
“Should we maybe get our contract guys to watch her?” The clicking of keys continues. He really pounds his keys. “It’s…it’d be safest right?”
“Jack says he’ll get Stella on it. Matteo will step in today.”
“What about at night?”
“I don’t know. Reach out to Stella. Maybe they’ll have her stay in the villa.”
I don’t particularly treasure the idea of someone else taking over the room across from hers, the room I stayed in initially, but it’s safest. Erik ends the call. I’ll touch base with Stella later. My brain feels a little numb after riding a wave of fury.
Inside the villa, the hallway is cleared except for Sloane’s bags. Since she’s staying, I left all her stuff in the hallway. I can’t exactly leave without saying goodbye, so, calmer now, I trudge up the stairs to find her. I hate goodbyes.
When I reach the landing, my hand falls to the railing for balance.
Sloane sits in the middle of the bedroom floor, face blotchy and red, and a roll of toilet paper beside her with spent tissues littering the floor. Something inside my chest cracks. Not only does she have a big heart, but when she cares, she cares deeply. She might not easily show it, but she does. The evidence is all around her.
At least, that’s if she’s crying for me. For us.
The floor creaks under my weight, and she glances up. Her face crumbles, and she puts her hands over her eyes.
In a flash, I’m on the floor beside her, pulling her into my lap.
“Shh.” I soothe her like I would a child, and she buries her damp face into my neck.
“I didn’t lie.” Her voice cracks, and she sniffles and then shifts and rubs her nose on my shirt. I don’t even mind the snot. I just hold her, rub her back, and kiss the top of her head.
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Doesn’t mean I understand at all what’s going on. But I believe you.”
“Sage is going to have a kid.” She picks up a tissue and presses it against her cheek, absorbing tears.
“Is that why you’re crying?” Am I that big of a fool?
“Yes. No. Maybe.” Her arm snakes around my middle and curves around my back, up to my shoulders, and I find myself embraced in a fireman’s hold. And damn if it doesn’t feel good to have her cling to me. “I’m happy for her, I guess.”
“Does Knox know she’s pregnant?”
“Oh. She’s not pregnant. She just checked with a doctor to make sure she…you know, with her heart.”
“And the doctor cleared her?”
“Yes. I mean, I’d prefer she take no risks. But I understand it. And I don’t know why I’m so emotional. I really hate being this emotional.”
“Well, we had our first fight.”
“I don’t like yelling, and I don’t like fights.”
“Me neither.”
“I don’t want you to be angry at me. I feel like I should say I’m sorry, but I don’t say I’m sorry unless I have a reason to be. And I don’t think I have a reason to be. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Shh.” It’s meant to quiet her sobs, but the low rumble soothes my ruffled heart, too.
“I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that, right?”
I take a second to reflect on her question. “Yeah, I do.”
I lift her chin, forcing her to give me those glistening, tear-filled brown eyes. “Ditto, ya know?”
She sniffs. “I’m not ready to say goodbye to you.”
She looks me right in the eye when she says it, and that crack splits wide open. I’m done. Sure, I’ve got a plane this afternoon, and there’s a lot to figure out, but it’s not going to be goodbye forever.
My lips fall to hers as I cradle her against my side. Her fingers thread through my hair, and all the anger from earlier, all that loaded frustration and hurt, morphs into something bigger. Something that was there earlier, but I just hadn’t accepted. Warmth effuses from every pore. It spills out of my split heart. I’ve felt this before. It’s love. I swore I’d never fall again, and yet here we are.
The bed is all of four feet away from us, and we’re both completely undressed before I even think about moving us to it. But the hardwood floor digging into my knee hurts like a mother, and I lift her up to the middle of the bed.
I take it slow. Kissing her with all the love I feel inside. Licking her. Adoring her. Bringing her to orgasm with my fingers, my tongue, and then, finally, sinking inside her.
It’s slow, languid, and perfect. I love this woman.
It’s on the tip of my lips to say it, to tell her as she quivers below me. But then my body convulses, losing control, releasing everything into her and robbing me of thought and words. It’s when I collapse beside her, kissing her, lifting errant strands off her still swollen cheeks, that I admit it. “I love you.”
She smiles. It’s a timid smile. I only get a glimpse before she rolls into me and buries her face once again in my neck. She drapes her body over mine, and I swear I could stay like this forever.
“I’ve never loved anyone before. I don’t know what it feels like. But I read about it in books. The ones Sage and I read. I believed it was fiction, and even if it was real, it wouldn’t happen to me. Because I’m different.”
“I’d take your different over anyone else’s normal any day of the week. Never doubt it.”
“You don’t have to say that.” She presses her lips to my chest and nibbles. I pinch her ass, and we settle down, holding on to each other.
“You know, I think I fell for you because of your differences. You’re refreshing. Honest. Dedicated. Passionate. And not like anyone else I’ve ever known. It takes work to get close to you, but it’s the most rewarding work I’ve ever done.”
“I think I love you, too.”
“Yeah?” She presses her lips to my throat. I’ll take that as a yes. “Well, it’s a good thing, because I don’t plan on letting you go.”
“You’re not going back?”
“No, I have to go back. The plane’s scheduled. There are still a lot of open questions. Someone did this, someone with a lot of financial backing, and we need to find out who. But I’ll be back.” My hand wanders from her hip back down and cups her bare ass, and I squeeze. God, I love this. It feels so fucking right being here with her. “I suppose we’re going to have to lay out some ground rules for long distance.”
“Long distance?”
“Yeah. But luckily, it’s not such a long flight.”
“And maybe you could move here? Sage said it might be an option.”
“You talked to Sage about me?”
“Knox is going to ask you why you think I lied.”
I chuckle. Knox will probably be some kind of peeved that I ignored his warning about future family gatherings. Tough shit.
The pad of her thumb circles my nipple, and her thigh rubs over mine. This is heaven.
Her company may not be responsible for her abduction, for coming after Sage, and for Felix, but I don’t buy for a minute that no one within her company is involved. Maybe her direct boss isn’t in on it, but someone is. Was. They may not have a reason to come after her now that we’ve accessed her servers and have the data, but we still have reasons to find the guilty parties.
I don’t want to think about it anymore. I just want to hold her. She’s mine. In this moment, she’s all mine.