6. Rory
Chapter 6
Rory
The minute the door closes, I turn Ryan to face me. I look over his little body, searching for injuries. Just because King believes Ryan is his, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt him. King would hurt anyone or anything— and has.
“Ryan? Are you okay?” I ask, running my hands over him, just to make sure.
“Daddy,” Ryan cries. “I want, Daddy.” He collapses against me, letting his silent sobs change into a sound so full of pain they hurt.
“I know you do sweet boy. I know you do.”
“I tried to do what Daddy told me, but I got lost,” he says, in between gulping breaths.
“What did he tell you to do, honey?” I ask, my heart breaking for him, for me…for the baby inside of me—even if Noah didn’t believe it was his…
“He told me to go to you. He said you’d take care of me,” Ryan says, his voice now muffled because he’s buried his face tightly into my stomach. My hand is brushing his soft hair, my other hand wrapped tightly around his back, holding him and trying to bring him comfort.
His words cut me. I thought Noah hated me, but according to Ryan one of the last things he ever did was tell his son to go to me. What do I do with that? How do I even process it? Did he trust me in the end? Did he care—even just a little? Did he know I’d do anything to keep Ryan safe? I have so many questions, but I know they will never have answers. How could they?
Noah is gone.
I’m lost in my thoughts. I don’t know how long I hold Ryan, I lose sight of time. I just hold him tight and absorb his misery and take it inside of me, letting it settle deep into my own.
“Rory?” Ryan asks, when his sobs have finally calmed. His voice is raw, the tears have taken their toll on him—just like mine have to me.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Where’s Daddy?”
It’s a simple question. Two words that should be so easy to answer.
They’re not.
Simple words shouldn’t scald you—burn you so deep that each syllable robs you of breath.
Where’s Daddy?
I chicken out. I shouldn’t…
But… I do.
“I don’t know baby. I really don’t know.”
Truth and lies are sometimes so fucking close together they destroy you. I let them, but I can’t let them destroy Ryan. I just can’t.
“He’ll find us,” Ryan whispers. “He’ll come for us.”
“Ryan, I… don’t…”
“Every time someone tried to hurt me Rory, my daddy would come for me. He’d save me.”
“Ryan…”
“He’ll come for me this time too.”
“Ryan…”
“He’ll come for me.”
“Okay, baby,” I finally say, holding him close and putting the side of my face against the top of his head, trying to envelope him… protect him.
“He’ll come for me,” he repeats.
“Okay, baby.”
“He’ll come for you too, Rory.”
“Okay, baby.”
“I know he will,” Ryan whispers, his fingers getting so tight when they bite into my skin that I know he’s scared. He’s worried this time his Dad won’t be there.
I can’t let the truth destroy him.
“Okay,” I whisper, rocking him, ignoring the silent tears that run down my face. “Okay.”