14. Crusher
Chapter 14
Crusher
“What did I miss?” Rebel asks coming in the waiting room an hour later.
Agent Lodge left to crash in a hotel. I hate to admit it but I kind of like that asshole. He’s not like cops in suits I’ve met—especially the federal kind. He’s showing an unhealthy interest in Rory McDaniels and since I don’t know what that woman means—if anything—to Diesel, that could be a problem. I also have no fucking clue if I can trust her. I’d like to think I can, especially since Ryan is apparently with her, but I have no fucking clue. I rub the back of my neck. Feeling older than the fucking hills and missing Hellcat so bad it hurts. I should have brought her here with me, I just wasn’t sure what we’d find. She hates that I do it, but I still try everything I can to keep her out of harm’s way.
“Gun, you head back to the hotel. Get some shut eye now that Rebel is here. We’ll meet up for dinner and discuss what we’re doing,” I tell him.
“What about you?”
“I’m not leaving until I know if Diesel is out of the woods.”
“That might be a while, Crush,” Gunner responds and maybe it’s just me, but in my head, I hear him add… or not at all.
“Then, I’ll be here a while. I’ll grab a nap on this chair, but I need at least one of you assholes alert to have my back,” I joke—only half lying.
“I’ll stay,” Gunner says obstinately.
“Suit yourself,” I say with a shrug, leaning my head back on the seat.
“Will someone answer my question? What happened while I was gone?” Rebel grumbles.
“Visit from the FBI,” I tell him, without opening my eyes, refusing to talk about the other.
“Diesel’s kidneys quit working,” Gunner answers, and I want to punch him in his damn face. It’s not a normal reaction and Gunner isn’t doing anything other than repeating the God’s honest truth, but that’s still how I feel.
“Motherfucker.”
“They’re hooking him up to dialysis,” Gunner adds and I sit up, intent only on punching Gunner in the mouth to make him shut up. That’s when my phone rings. I pick it up without checking the caller ID, and hoping it’s Dani. I need something to take me away from this shit before I snap.
“Hello?” I growl, wincing because my frustration bleeds through the greeting. Dani will understand though. She gets me when no one else does.
“Uh… Mr. Dawson?”
“Ms. McDaniels?” I ask, clearing my throat. I stand up immediately. I look over at Gunner and motion with my hand. He immediately nods and takes out his phone.
“I wanted to follow up and make sure you contacted the hospital and Agent Lodge,” she says, her voice sounding nervous and borderline panicked.
I look over at Gunner and I can hear him talking to the boys at the club, running a trace on my phone. I just need to keep Rory on the phone long enough for it to stick.
“Are you there?”
“Yes. Sorry I was distracted for a moment. I’m at the hospital now, Ms. McDaniels. You didn’t tell me that Diesel was?—”
“If you knew he was dead you wouldn’t have come. I needed you to claim the body, to protect him so that Ryan has somewhere to say goodbye to his father.”
“You’re not disputing that Ryan belongs to Diesel?”
“Diesel is the only father that Ryan will ever claim,” she says her voice almost angry and that makes me relax. Perhaps this Lodge was right about Rory. That bodes well for my brother if he just manages to hold on.
“I think you and I will get along just fine, Ms. McDaniels.”
“I doubt that, since we’ll never see each other,” she says surprising me.
“Rory—I can call you, Rory?”
“Whatever,” she mutters and for some reason that makes me grin.
“Rory, Diesel is going to want his boy back and from what I hear, he’s with you.”
“Diesel…” she gasps and goes silent.
“Rory? Are you okay?” I ask her, worrying that maybe King has gotten to her before I can.
“Are you…” she stops.
“Rory?” I prompt her when she doesn’t keep talking.
“Are you saying that Noah is alive?” she whispers. It sounds like those words are full of… hope.
“Very much so.”
“But I saw… I… Oh God,” she whispers and this time I hear tears.
“Ms. McDaniels?”
“Noah’s alive,” she says through the tears, her voice still whispering.
“That means something to you,” I respond, definitely feeling better about Rory McDaniels.
“No, Mr. Dawson that doesn’t mean anything,” she says.
“I’m afraid I don’t?—”
“It means everything,” she replies, cutting me off.
“You care about my brother,” I acknowledge and let that information sink deep inside of me.
“I want to speak to him.”
“Rory—”
“No, wait. Ryan needs to speak to his father. Can I call back and you make that happen?” she asks.
“Ryan’s not with you?”
“I can’t… I can’t have him with me like this, it would be too dangerous, but he’ll be with me when I call back. Oh my God, I can’t believe Noah is alive. I didn’t tell Ryan about his father. I couldn’t handle seeing it crush him. He’s too fragile right now. I felt so guilty, but now…” she stops talking as a sob rakes through her body and I hear it and the sound makes me feel like a major asshole. I should tell her the truth, but I can’t risk her running.
“Ms. McDaniels, tell me where you’re at. We’ll come get you.”
“I… I can’t do that. If King finds out…”
“He’s looking for you now. You need to get safe—Ryan needs to be safe. Tell me where you are and I’ll come to you.”
“I… I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I don’t know you Mr. Dawson.”
“Diesel—”
“Went out on his own for some reason. How can I be sure he didn’t leave because of you? Or someone else? Ryan said Noah didn’t feel safe at his home anymore. I don’t know how these biker gangs work, but I don’t think it’s supposed to work that way.”
“We’re not a gang, Rory.”
“Whatever,” she mutters and damn it, I really do think I like her.
“Tell me where you are, and I’ll come to you personally. Ryan will tell you that you can trust me.”
She starts to answer and then I hear someone talking to her. I frown. If she feels like she’s in danger, who would she be talking to?
“I’ll talk to him. I’ll give you my decision when I call back… but it will be tomorrow. My boss just told me that I have to work late tonight. I want Ryan to talk to his Dad tomorrow though. If he doesn’t then all deals are off the table,” she declares.
“Rory—”
“And if you are playing me Mr. Dawson you need to know that I will kill you personally. I don’t have much left in life now…not now,” she whispers. “But I have Ryan and I will not let anyone hurt that little boy. Are we clear?”
“We’re clear, Rory. I promise you, if you give me a chance I’ll make sure you and Ryan both are safe and happy.”
“I’ll never be that again, but if Ryan gets his father back, he will be happy and that’s all that matters. I have to go back to work now. I’ll call you tomorrow about seven p.m., eastern standard time,” she says and then before I can respond, hangs up.
I look over at Gunner, putting my phone away.
“Tell me that Scorpion managed to get a trace,” I mutter.
“Got it. No, hold up. We’ll get back with you,” Gunner says into the phone. He hangs up and turns to look at me.
“Where is she?”
“You aren’t going to believe this shit,” Gunner mutters.
“What?”
“Boss she’s at a diner in Hazard, Kentucky.”
“You’re shitting me,” I respond, almost laughing. Hazard is probably just a little over an hour from London—which is where I used to live.
“You think she was bringing Ryan home herself?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t think she trusts anyone but Diesel with the boy, but this works to our advantage for sure.”
“Want me to call Dragon and the boys?”
I start to answer, but then I remember my conversation with Rory. Will she think I’m fucking her over? I look toward the doors where Diesel is breathing through a tube with the help from a machine. Not even pissing on his own anymore and having to have a machine clean the toxins out of his body. She thinks my brother is okay… me sending one of my former crew to pick her up will be the least she’ll be mad about.
“Do it,” I tell him. I would like to do it myself, but I can’t leave Diesel. I’m going to watch his back until there’s nothing left to watch.
“You got it, man,” Gunner says.
I nod, walking by him and Rebel and ring the intercom. They let me back into the private section of the ICU without delay. I ignore the nurses, doctors and anyone I pass. I go straight to my brother’s room.
It fucking hurts to see him like this. There’s a nurse there, sponging him off and I frown. Diesel would enjoy that any other time. Maybe… I got a feeling Rory McDaniels might be a game changer.
“Mr. Dawson,” the nurse says, looking nervous.
“Can I have a moment alone with my brother?” I ask, but my tone makes it sound like anything other than a question.
She gathers her pan and supplies, then hurries out of the room without responding. I pull up a seat and lean down to look at my brother. The doctor’s explained that he had lost so much blood and his body had been through so much trauma being out in the elements that he slipped into a coma. He could lay like this forever. There’s brain activity, but with each day that passes…
There are two things that I know about Diesel. He loves his son more than anything in this world and he wouldn’t want to continue to live like this. Those two things keep warring in my head.
I reach down and grab my brother’s hand, clearing my throat.
“Diesel,” I start, wondering how in the hell to talk to a man who probably can’t even hear me. I ignore the urge to feel like a dumbass and push through. “Years ago, you had my back when I desperately needed it. You helped me start over, you helped my woman heal. I owe you the world man and right now…” I stop, raking my hand through my hair. “ Fuck, man ,” I growl. “Right now, I just don’t know how to help you. I’ve found your son and I think this Rory means something to you and I’ve found her too. I’m going to bring them to you, man. I’m going to do that, but there’s something you have to do. Diesel… Christ. ” I stumble over the words, each one getting harder to say than the others. I take a breath and start again. “Brother, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through and I don’t know how you survived, but you did survive. You fought for a reason and brother… I know it sucks, but you need to keep fighting. You need to reach deep and see if you want to keep fighting; be here for Ryan and maybe for something more with your woman. I’m at a loss man. There’s nothing more I can do, other than get revenge on the fucker that put you here and I will do that. I swear to God man that I’m going to do that. He will not continue breathing air, his death is all but mine. But, you have to decide if you want to keep fighting and come back to us. After Ryan sees you… I’m going to let the doctors begin to unhook you. Son of a bitch, I don’t want to do that. I really don’t. But, I know you being tied to machines to breathe, to eat… to fucking piss… that’s not what you want. That’s not how you want to go down. So, I’m doing that for you too. If you’re in there somewhere man,” I tell him, squeezing his damn hand and choking on tears that I refuse to fucking shed. “If you’re in there… I need you to fight. Dani and I, brother, we will take care of Ryan and you know me, brother. That kid will not want for a single thing. Anything I can physically give him, I will. You know that, too. But he’s going to miss you every damn day of his life. He’s going to need you. You feel comfortable leaving him to me, I will try to fill that void. I swear to fucking God man that I will do my best,” I tell him, pain and anger warring inside of me.
I guess I hoped my speech would reach him. That he would somehow show me that he was alive in there. I get nothing but the sounds of the equipment that’s keeping him alive.
I get nothing.
I stand up with a sigh and remember one last thing. I’m flying in the dark on this issue, but I need to say it just in case he can hear me… Just in case this helps bring him closure too.
“I don’t know what this Rory means to you, but I promise I’ll protect her too and make sure she’s good and out of King’s reach. She seems like a good woman and you should know she’s been through hell to protect Ryan. I wasn’t there, but there’s an FBI guy involved and he seems to… really admire her. Hell, I think the man might be half in love with her. He’s been trying to help her and he’s told me some of it. You need to know that I’ll keep her safe and see she’s good to live free and without the shadow of King hurting her anymore. So, if you’re worried about her… you don’t have to be.”
Silence.
I rub my jaw and then my chin as I walk to the door. Disappointed I can’t just have a conversation with Diesel… hurting that I can’t just laugh and shoot the shit with him… even if it’s one more time. Pissed off that I’m making decisions a brother never wants to make about one of his own and hating that I can’t just fix it all.
“Love you brother. You know that, too, I guess. But, I never said it and I need to even if you can’t hear me, man. Only been a handful of people in my life I’d die for. Right now, I’d fucking take your place if I could.”
With those words I leave the room. I walk out and I go through to the waiting room. I do that not looking at Gun or Rebel.
“Crush?” I hear one of them ask and I’m not even sure which.
“Going to get some coffee,” I growl, my voice hoarse with unshed tears and sadness so deep it will never leave me.
Fuck.