26. Lachlan
26
LACHLAN
I T WAS AFTER midnight when I slipped out of bed and quietly got dressed. Cooper didn’t move, dead to the world, and I envied the way he could sleep so hard. I didn’t think I’d ever been able to do that, not since I was a kid. Was it because he felt safe with me? Anyone who actually knew me would laugh at that. I wasn’t the man people ran to; I was the man they ran from .
But Cooper hadn’t done that. Not even when I’d been fully covered in the alley. I’d had to tell him to run.
I put my tie on, then left the room before I was tempted to stay. The sheets had fallen down to his hips, giving me an incredible view of his body that made me want to wake him up with my tongue.
Glancing down at my watch, I inwardly cursed and grabbed my suit jacket from the closet. The last thing I needed was a bitch-fest from Alessio for being late, so I made my way underground to meet the others.
They were all waiting in the shadows of the hallway, and when Alessio held up the watch on his wrist, I said, “I know. I’m here.”
“Late. And with bedhead.”
For fuck’s sake. I ran my fingers through my hair as the others, dressed impeccably, led the way through the tunnels beneath the city. Even Alessio, who hated wearing a suit, was wearing one, calling it a respect thing. Same with being on time.
But Alessio didn’t have a hot body in his bed that he’d had to drag himself away from.
He fell back in step with me to bring up the rear and shook his head. “Wearing yesterday’s old suit. You couldn’t dig up a fresh one?”
“Don’t start with me.” I tugged at the cuffs, straightening them. “I look fine.”
“You look like someone who’s been rolling around in the sheets.”
“Well, it’s not like Father Vitale would know that now, would he? If that’s what I’d been doing.”
A frown pulled between Alessio’s brows. “You trying to tell me it’s not?”
“Hey,” Theo called back to us. “You two going to stop gossiping like a couple of high schoolers? Or do you need a minute?”
“Alessio was just reading me the riot act,” I said, and started toward the rest of the group. “You know how it goes—nothing’s ever good enough for the father.”
Shep gave me a once-over and scoffed. “You do look like you just rolled out of bed. What happened? Did you forget you had a meeting to save your soul? I figured if any of us needed to set an alarm clock this month, it would be you.”
“At least I’ve done more to help this city than shake a few clammy palms at the governor’s mansion.”
He smirked. “We all have our strengths. You exterminate rats in alleys. I swim with sharks in ballrooms. Want to swap?”
“Not on your fucking life.”
Shep chuckled and clapped my shoulder. “I figured.”
“Okay, let’s keep moving,” King said, eyeing the rest of us. “We don’t want to keep Father Vitale waiting.”
As we continued through the tunnels and deep into the heart of the city, Alessio and I fell back behind the rest of the guys, a usual position for us when we were making this monthly trek.
The sound of footsteps up ahead was the only other noise this far under the city, and as we moved through the familiar shadows on our way to St. Andrews, I glanced at the man beside me.
Alessio Trentacapelli was, as always, making this trek like he was at the head of a funeral march, the somber expression on his face one of pain and suffering that had nothing to do with death and everything to do with our final destination.
It was ironic, really, considering he was the one who was so adamant we attend monthly confessional to save our souls, yet his seemed to be the truly tortured one, and he wouldn’t set foot in a confessional booth.
“You okay over there?” I said as we rounded a corner. “You stare any harder at the ground and you might cause a sinkhole.”
“I’m fine. I just hate being late.”
“We’re not going to be late. And even if we are, Father Vitale won’t care.”
Alessio grunted and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Can we talk about something other than him?”
And there it was, the reason for the clenched jaw and surly attitude—Father Rafael Vitale.
“Sure, you got a topic in mind?”
Alessio’s eyes found mine in the shadows. “Yeah. How about your journalist? And don’t tell me there’s nothing going on there.”
Of course he went right back to that topic. He was the king of deflection.
“Tell me, are you fixated on what’s happening in my love life because you don’t have one of your own, or?—”
“So you admit it, then.” He raised a brow, and I knew there was no use in denying it. Like I’d told Cooper, there were eyes on every inch of Libertine, and if it pertained to any of the Kings, it was usually this guy’s eyes.
“You saw us, didn’t you?”
“On level five? Yeah. So don’t even try to play dumb with me.”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. On the plus side, at least I’d had the forethought to get Cooper out of there before I had his pants off and my dick inside him.
Something I probably shouldn’t think about while on my way to church.
I glanced at my best friend, my brother, and for the first time in as long as I could remember, I found myself saying, “I think I’m in trouble with him.”
“Oh?”
I rubbed a hand over my jaw and looked up at the rest of the guys chatting amongst themselves. “Have you ever found yourself wanting to let someone in? To talk to someone other than the seven of us about who you are and what you do?”
Alessio stared, and I could’ve whacked myself upside the head, because of course he had. The only problem was that he wasn’t allowed to talk to that person the way he wanted to.
“How about we stay focused on you. Do you want that?” he asked.
“I never have before, but lately…”
“Lately?”
“My worlds are colliding. One minute he was a stranger I saved in an alley, and now he’s the gorgeous guy sleeping in one of the beds upstairs?—”
“A bed you’re sharing with him.”
“—and asking questions I can’t answer.”
Alessio looked up at the head of the group where King was chatting with Benoit. “Well, he’s gotten past the first hurdle.”
“Which is?”
“King. How often has he let a non-vetted journalist into Libertine?”
“Never.”
“Exactly. So maybe he sees that , sees that you’re looking for more here, and now that he’s happy, he’s of the frame of mind to give you a chance to be, too.”
I snorted, the thought almost ludicrous after the last dressing-down I’d received from King.“I doubt it. The last few times we’ve talked, he’s?—”
“Given you everything you asked for. Does that sound like our normal hardass leader? Usually he’d tell you to pull your head in and send this guy on his way.”
I thought about that for a second, and just as I was about to respond, I heard up ahead, “Let’s go, you two—we’re here.”
Alessio took in a deep, fortifying breath, and then we headed inside through the secret entrance to St. Andrews. It had been unlocked in anticipation of our arrival, same time every month, and the sanctuary never failed to stun our group into silence.
St. Andrews was one of the city’s oldest and most revered Catholic churches, a gothic revival masterpiece with towering spires and stained glass that even I could admit was breathtaking. I hadn’t grown up in church, and I couldn’t say I’d go now if it weren’t for these midnight confessionals.
Father Vitale sat in a pew near the confessional, a book in hand, but when he caught sight of us, he set it aside and rose to welcome us.
He always seemed too young for a priest, but then, I didn’t know many. I’d always pictured them as old and wise, not fair-haired and ridiculously attractive. He towered over King, who was the first to greet him, then the rest of us joined except for Alessio, who nodded at the priest and then made his way toward the altar cross to light a candle.
Stubborn ass.
“Evening, gentlemen,” Father Vitale greeted us with his usual warm smile, and if he’d noticed Alessio’s snub, he didn’t let it bother him.
“Evening, father,” King said. “Thank you for accommodating us, as always.”
As strange as it was, Father Vitale could’ve easily fit in with our crowd—if one was to remove the Roman collar and wash all our sins away.
“At this stage I think it would feel off if I didn’t have one of these late night sessions with all of you.” His eyes swept over our group, and considering some of the things he’d heard over the years, it was shocking there was no judgment there.
Me? I would’ve been judging the hell out of us.
“We wouldn’t miss it,” King said, and turned to the rest of us. “Who’s up first?”
Everyone’s eyes immediately turned to me, and I couldn’t really blame them. I had been causing the most chaos this month.
“Lachlan?” Father Vitale’s voice was gentle, as though he were coaxing a wild animal closer. “Would you like to come with me?”
As he turned toward the confessional booth, I glared at my brothers. “Really?”
When they all stayed suspiciously quiet, I followed in the footsteps of the good father and tried to think of a way out of this. When no miracle escape plan appeared, however, it seemed I would have to just suck it up.
I opened the door and slipped inside, and as I knelt in front of the lattice partition, Father Vitale said, “May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his mercy.”
“Amen,” I muttered, and then took in a deep breath. “Bless me, father, for I have sinned. It’s been twenty-nine days since my last confession.”
I paused and thought about my next words carefully, because while I knew what I should be confessing, I wasn’t quite sure I could get the words out.
“These past couples of weeks I might’ve done a few things I…need to atone for.”
I was still for a moment, wondering where I should begin. The logical place to start was the alley, but did I really need to confess to knocking off a few drug dealers? I would’ve thought that was doing God’s work.
“Continue, my friend—unburden yourself.”
“Uh, yeah, so, um, a few weeks back I was assigned to trail these pieces of shi—unsavory sorts who are dealing some really nasty drugs that have been sending people to the morgue. Anyway, things were going along nice and smooth until out of nowhere this innocent bystander showed up.”
An image of Cooper flashed through my mind, his wide blue eyes full of fear as he knelt on the ground, the barrel of a gun pointed at his head.
“I see, and what happened when this man or woman…?”
“It was a man.”
“What happened when this man showed up?”
“Everything went to shit.”
Father Vitale said nothing in response to that, but as my mind replayed the carnage that had followed, I couldn’t find it in me to feel bad. Not when I had saved Cooper’s life.
“They threatened to kill him. I made sure that didn’t happen.”
There, that was an accurate enough assessment without going into the gory details.
“So you saved him.”
“Yeah, I guess I did.”
Silence fell as I stared through the lattice at Father Vitale’s profile. It was angular and strong, as though it had been cut from stone, and the shadows that concealed him only amplified the mystery surrounding him.
He had a powerful presence that was almost otherworldly, and sometimes when he looked at you, it was difficult to remember he was a mere mortal.
Touched by God indeed.
“But you’re troubled by this?” he asked.
“No. He needed help, so I helped him, but then…then I kind of lied to him. And I’m not proud about that.”
“Did you lie to protect him?”
No, I lied to fuck him.
Somehow I didn’t think that would go down too well with a priest.
“Not exactly. I wanted to make sure he was okay after what happened, so I followed him, and then things got complicated and I had to tell him I was someone I’m not so he would call me for protection, and anyway, long story short, I lied to him and feel bad about it.”
“Do you plan to tell him you lied?”
“Um—eventually?”
“Why not sooner?”
“Because it’s not safe yet.”
“So you lied to keep him safe?”
“Yes.”
“While lying itself is not something I condone, if it’s done to keep one out of harm’s way I can see why someone might do it, and I’m sure you will rectify the issue when you are able.”
“Yeah—I mean, yes. Of course, just not…yet.” I let out a sigh, and just as I was about to wrap things up and give my apologies to the Almighty for my sins, I instead heard myself say, “Father?”
“Yes, Lachlan?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Lately I’ve found myself butting heads with the bossman.”
“I assume you mean King?”
“Yeah.” I lowered my head, trying to make sense of my thoughts. I’d always been an impulsive guy, especially when it came to getting down in the thick of it. But I wasn’t usually the type to buck the system. If King issued an order, I followed it, no questions asked.
So why had I been getting in so much damn trouble lately?
“I’ve been conflicted over doing the right thing.”
“The right thing or the expected thing?”
Up until now, I’d figured that was one and the same. “The expected, I guess. I’ve been spending time getting to know someone that I know I shouldn’t be. Someone that will, in all likelihood, be gone from my life this time next month, and yet I can’t seem to stop myself. Even though King has told me several times to cut it out.”
“You’re drawn to him.”
Father Vitale’s words caught me off guard as I stared through the screen, and this time, instead of seeing his profile, I could’ve sworn he was staring right at me.
“Yes.”
“This is the same man you saved?”
I opened my mouth to deny it, but then reminded myself whom I was talking to. “Yes. I know things are too complicated to be with him, and yet I can’t seem to make myself stay away.”
Father Vitale nodded and looked away, once again giving me his stoic profile. “Sometimes God presents us with difficult choices. Ones that test us, tempt us, and make us examine our lives. What you have to ask yourself is why you feel guilty about being with this man.”
“It’s not so much about being with him. But wanting to share parts of my life, the parts that aren’t just mine, with someone I shouldn’t.”
“Will sharing those parts hurt anyone? Will it hurt you? Or will living without him hurt more?”
As the question lingered in the air, I thought back to the gorgeous man I’d left in my bed, the one who’d come to this city to find justice for his friend, and I couldn’t imagine Cooper going out of his way to hurt anyone, let alone me.
The real question was, would my fellow kings believe that?
“Thank you, father,” I said. “This is all I can remember. I am sorry for these and all my sins.”
“I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. You are to say five Hail Marys as penance for your lies and give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. Go in peace, Lachlan.”
I nodded and said, “Amen,” before getting to my feet and leaving the booth.
A quick scan of the church placed Alessio in a pew on the opposite side of the aisle. I passed by my fellow brothers who were waiting for their turn with the priest and noticed the clenched fists resting on my best friend’s thighs.
As always, Alessio said nothing as I sat beside him, and I knew better than to even try to open up a conversation. Instead, we waited in silence, as one by one each of our brothers confessed their sins and emerged from the booth.
Once everyone was through and had joined us in the pew, Father Vitale exited and made his way over to us.
“You think God built him that tall so he could talk to him better?” Benoit asked, and Lucien snorted.
“That or he was just showing off.”
We all got to our feet as Father Vitale stopped by the group, and when his eyes fell to Alessio, everyone suddenly tensed.
“Alessio, will you be giving confession this evening?”
Alessio’s eyes cut to the priest’s, and the usual humor that sparked in their depths was more like a flat, emotionless void, as he said, “Not tonight,” just like every other night.
Father Vitale inclined his head, gracious as always despite Alessio’s surliness, then smiled at the rest of us. “Then I’ll say goodnight, and will look forward to seeing you next month.”
“Thank you, father,” King said. “We’ll see you then.”
As we turned and started up the aisle toward the secret passageway we’d entered through, I leaned in to my friend and said under my breath, “One of these days, you’re going to have to forgive him.”
I held open the door for Alessio, and as he passed through he looked me dead in the eye and said, “Yeah? Well, today is not that fucking day.”