Savage

Chapter 1

“Mama?”

Michi smiled at the tender little voice that never failed to warm her. “Yes, Xevikan?”

“Why can’t I go out and play?”

“You know why.”

He sighed heavily at the answer she gave him almost every day. “It’s been years, Mama. Maybe the evil goddess forgot me.”

She laughed. Years…While it was the whole of his young life, it was only a blink to the ones who were looking for him. Immortals didn’t measure time the way others did.

And Azura had not forgotten. Her demons searched constantly for any sign of this child. They were still desperate to reunite him with a mother who had no real use for him. Michi’s worse fear was what they’d do to her baby. The stories they heard of what happened to those in Azura’s court…

Stuff of nightmares.

“How about we play together in our den?”

Xev made an adorable face at her. “I don’t want to play the hiding game. I want to explore what’s outside our home.”

If only they could. It made her heart ache that she couldn’t give him what he wanted most. “It’s too dangerous, love. You have to stay here so that I can love you.”

Pressing his lips together, he sat down heavily at her feet. “Fine. We can play the hiding game. No one will see me.”

He vanished.

She’d be afraid, but he sat on her foot so she knew he was still there. “You’re a good boy, Xev.”

He reappeared and lay back with a heavy sigh. “Can you at least teach me to turn into a fox?”

“I don’t know if you can.”

“Can we try?”

Michi considered it. She really didn’t know what powers he possessed. Other than the ability to simultaneously annoy and charm her. He was amazing in that capacity.

Turning into a fox, she licked his cheek. “Of course we can.”

He giggled and wrapped his sweet little arms around her neck while he buried his face in her fur. “I love when you’re a fox, Mama.”

“I love you.” She nuzzled his cheek. “Now close your eyes and imagine being a fox.”

He did.

Nothing happened.

Just as she was about to tell him that she didn’t think he could, he changed forms.

Into a cat.

“Did I do it?” His voice was so excited as he held up an orange paw.

“Sort of. Would you like some milk?”

“What?” He cocked his head.

“You’re a cat, sweetie. Not a fox.”

He made a sound of supreme annoyance. “A cat?” He shook his head, then returned to his toddler form. “A cat?” he asked again in an adorable, sad tone.

“It’s not always easy to change, little Xev. Sometimes, it takes great effort.”

He sneezed and turned into a fox.

She laughed at the shocked expression on his perfect face. “There you go. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Didn’t mean to do it.”

“That’s the way it goes. Sometimes things happen when we mean for them to, and other times...they just happen when we least expect it and aren’t looking for it to happen.”

“Can I turn back?”

Such a simple question. “Sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” His eyes widened in panic.

She nodded. “Some days you want to turn back and other days you need to just trudge forward. No matter what. No matter how much you want to stop.”

He frowned at her words. She was giving him advice he was far too young to understand.

But the day would come, sadly, when he would know exactly what she meant. Even if they were immortal, time would pass, and no matter how much she wished it, she wouldn’t always be here to protect him. His mother continued to hunt for him, and her demons were relentless. Every part of Michi said that the day would come when Azura would separate them.

Or something else would.

All Michi could do was try her best to hone his powers and teach him what she knew about hiding and shifting. About life and living. To give him as many skills as she could before his enemies came for him and forced them apart.

He crawled into her arms.

She turned human so that she could hold him close. “I might not have birthed you, little one. But you’re my baby just the same.”

“Love you, Mama.”

Burying her hand in his soft, dark hair, she cherished those words. How weird that she’d never wanted a child. Or anyone to take care of, for that matter. Life was too harsh for that. It was hard enough just to watch out for herself.

Yet this precious baby she loved so much had fallen straight into her lap. Now, she couldn’t imagine not having him with her. The thought of his loss filled her with such terror and pain that she couldn’t even contemplate it.

“Michi!”

She winced at the goddess’s angry call. Inari was the one person she couldn’t ignore, and she couldn’t imagine why her goddess had such a tone with her. What could she have possibly done to incur her goddess’s anger?

Kissing Xev’s head, she nudged him toward her bed. “Stay here until my return.”

“I know. Talk to no one. Don’t let anyone know I’m here. Never be seen or heard.”

“Exactly.” Michi pulled away from him, and then carefully concealed the small hole that led to their den so that no one would know either of them had ever been there.

Spreading her hand wide, she touched it as love and fear swelled inside her. She hated to leave him alone even for a moment.

If only she had a choice.

With a deep breath to steady her nerves, she left him and went to the goddess she served.

Alone in her private garden, Inari stood before the mirrored wall that showed her millions of scattered images of the human world. Michi had never understood how her goddess could follow them all, but Inari never seemed to have any trouble discerning one from another.

Or hearing the pleas of the many. Perhaps that was what made her a goddess while Michi was nothing more than a poor demonic servant.

Tall and lithe, with long black hair that fell to her ankles, Inari was the most beautiful woman Michi had ever seen. No one could match her for grace or wit. Even water envied her for calm dignity.

“You summoned me, my lady?”

Inari’s dark brown eyes held sorrow inside them. Her entire demeanor bespoke of some deep sadness that had the goddess wrapped tighter than the blood-red cloak she clutched. “Do you remember whom you serve?”

“You, my goddess.”

“That’s right. But I’ve seen in my mirror that you have loyalty to someone else.”

“Never!” Michi took her human form so that Inari could see the sincerity. “Why would you doubt me?”

Inari held her hand up to show a gust of smoke that solidified into figures moving about.

Michi gasped as she saw herself taking care of Xev in their hidden den.

Inari’s gaze flared with fury. “Is that not another god you care for?”

She didn’t see Xev like that. “He’s a child, my lady. Just a baby.”

“A god, nonetheless.”

Technically. “He has no power. He’s as helpless as...” She struggled to find an example, but only one thing came to mind. “Well, a babe.”

The figures fell and faded to nothing while Inari stared at her. “He won’t always be such. All too soon, he’ll grow into an enemy.”

“No, great lady. His heart is pure. He’s a wonderful baby. He’d never cause harm, especially not to you.”

That angered the ancient goddess even more. “Are you arguing with me?”

“No, lady.” Only an absolute fool would do that.

“Then kill him.”

Those words tore through her with barbed edges that left her soul bleeding. Her breathing intensified.

“Did you hear me?” Inari said through clenched teeth.

“I did.” But Michi couldn’t believe Inari would be so callous or cruel.

“I want his heart brought to me. You have one hour.”

One hour. How could she make such a demand? It was unreasonable.

Michi wanted to scream. How could she kill the very infant she’d suckled and cared for?

Turn him over to his mother.

Her soul screamed even louder at the thought. Surely, death would be kinder for the child.

But the thought of that...

No. She could never kill her baby.

Michi bowed low before her goddess and then returned to the den where she’d left her most beloved son. The only one she’d ever loved.

“Mama?”

That single word made her heart soar and shattered it into pieces. “I’m here, love.”

Xev crawled toward her. “Are you all right?”

She pulled him into her arms and held him close. Tears choked her, but she didn’t dare let them fall. “No. Not really.” She would never be right again. Not if she did this.

He hugged her close. “Don’t be sad, Mama. Smile and it’ll make everything okay.”

That succeeded in causing her tears to flow. It was something she’d said to him many times whenever he was hurting.

Now...

There was no help for them. No way to make it better.

She was going to have to give him up, and it would destroy her.

Xev placed his tiny hand to her cheek. “Why are you crying, Mama?”

“Because I love you.”

“That should make you happy.”

It did and it didn’t.

Damn you, Inari!

Damn the mother that had birthed him!

Most of all, she damned herself. How could she let go of the one and only person who meant anything to her?

“You’re hurting me.” Xev squirmed against her, making her realize just how tightly she held him against her body.

“I’m so sorry, kit.”

“It’s okay. I’m not running away. I told you I’d never leave you or our home.”

Her worst fear for him outside of his mother finding them. If only it was still her worst fear.

“Xev, if I do something, will you forgive me?”

“Always. You’re my mama.”

That only made more tears blind her. “I will always be your mother, love. Always. No matter what happens or where I am. But I have to return you to the one who birthed you.”

“No!” His face blanched. “You said she’d hurt me.”

“I know. But if I don’t, another goddess will kill you.”

He scowled. “Mama, I don’t understand. Why would anyone want to kill me?”

She placed her cheek against his and sobbed. “I have no choice, baby. I have to do this.” Even if it meant her life. She couldn’t let him die.

He was worth her life. He was worth everything because he was everything to her. “Just promise that you won’t forget me.”

“You’re my mama. How could I ever forget you?”

But deep inside, she knew he was too young. He’d never recall her when he was older, or if he did, he’d curse her for this betrayal. And who could blame him? This was an unforgivable act.

It didn’t matter. He was her life. She’d spent the last handful of years protecting him, knowing she’d be killed if Azura found them.

Her hand shook as she cradled him.

Dying inside, she stood up and transported them to the court of the bitch who’d forced them into hiding.

Azura sat on her throne, laughing with her brother, who terrified Michi. Her skin was an icy blue that matched the coldness of her white hair and eyes. Everyone claimed this goddess had no heart. No soul.

She took mercy on no one and was incapable of love.

Michi wanted to run. But while she had the powers to hide from Azura, she didn’t have the ability to deceive Inari. Inari would always know the truth.

And she’d kill them both out of spite. No one defied Inari’s orders.

I have to do this.

The moment the goddess saw her and the boy she carried, Azura’s countenance turned to stone. She stood up slowly.

So did Noir.

“What do you have, fox?”

“No, Mama. Please,” Xev whispered.

For the first time ever, Michi denied his wishes. “I have to,” she said under her breath, for both of their benefits.

Walking on legs that threatened to buckle, she headed toward the Queen of All Shadows. “I have your son, my goddess.” She knelt before her and prayed that this was the right thing to do.

Azura plucked Xev from her arms and held him up by the scruff of his shirt. “What a puny thing you are.” Sneering, she raked a glare over Michi. “Is it housebroken?”

Her stomach sank with such force that she feared she’d vomit. “He’s potty trained, lady.”

Xev bit his lip as he saw his birth mother for the first time. The look of fear in those beautiful blue eyes seared Michi’s soul with pain.

Azura tossed him at her brother, who didn’t even try to catch the boy. Instead, he let Xev fall to the floor, where he lay unmoving.

Shattered by that sight, Michi started forward, but Azura cut her off.

“What do I owe you for your service?”

“Can you protect me from Inari?”

Azura scowled. “What?”

“The goddess Inari. She ordered me to kill your son. I brought him to you instead. I know you’ve been looking for him.”

Laughing, Azura exchanged a look with her brother that Michi didn’t understand. “You want me to save you from the wrath of a goddess you serve?”

“I do.”

“Very well.” Azura snapped her fingers.

Michi’s throat closed until she could no longer draw breath. Her ears began to ring. Choking, she fell over and did her best to gasp.

Azura was killing her.

Of course she was. Why would she expect mercy from a goddess known for vengeance?

But at least her final sight would be her son...He pushed himself up and started to run for her.

He never made it.