Chapter 26
Jared stopped playing, then turned to the darkest part of the room so that he could frown. “Why do you watch me so much from the shadows?”
Xev arched a brow at Jared’s pert question. And at the fact that his son could see him when he shouldn’t have a clue that he was here. “Pardon?”
“You’re there a lot. Sometimes you come out, but a lot of times you don’t. It’s really disconcerting when you’re there, watching me for no reason. Why do you hide so much?”
Xev let out a long sigh at just how powerful Jared had become. At eight, his powers were staggering. He could only imagine how much more powerful he’d be as a man. “There are times when you’re busy and I don’t want to disturb you.”
“Like when I’m sleeping?”
“If you’re asleep, how do you know I’m watching you?”
Jared gestured to the table where his sword was kept. “Takara tells me. She can sense you too.”
“Sense me how?”
“Your powers. They’re close enough to mine that it awakens her whenever you’re near. Especially if I’m asleep. She finds it very disturbing, and unsettling.”
Far be it from Xev to unsettle his son’s creepy sword that raised the hair on the back of his neck. He’d never liked Seraphs. Especially when he fought them in battle. “Then I’ll try not to disturb your sword in the future when I come to visit.”
Jared nodded then frowned again.
Leaving the shadows that kept him safe, Xev duplicated his scowl. “Is something else wrong?”
“I was just curious.”
“About?”
“Why I’m not supposed to tell people that you’re my father. Why do you and Mama believe it’ll upset them?”
Those words struck him like a blow. Had Myone told him?
“No. She’s never spoken a word about it to me. No one does. But I hear what you think, and I don’t hate you. Why would I hate someone who’s always been so kind to me? And that was before I knew you were my father. But I don’t understand…” Jared paused as if he were listening to Xev’s rapid-fire thoughts. “Oh, that’s why. Would they really kill you and Mama?”
Kneeling in front of his son, Xev cupped his cheek. “I’d rather not find out.”
Jared nodded. “Neither would I. Others can be…difficult. But you’re wrong about my fa—grandfather,” he quickly corrected himself. “He loves me absolutely. He thinks of me as his son. There’s nothing inside him other than love whenever he’s around me. If not for you and Mama, I’d have never known he wasn’t my real father.”
While that relieved some of the fears he’d had where his father was concerned, it made Xev feel a bit guilty that he’d doubted Jaden.
Jared cocked his little head as if he were hearing something else. “Don’t worry, Papa. I won’t betray you or Mama. I know how to remain silent.” With the sagacity of an ancient, he took Xev’s hand. “You can teach me anything you want. I’m happy to be your son. I don’t see evil in you. I know you love me, and I love you too.”
Xev had no words. All he could do was scoop the boy up and hold him.
It was such a strange sensation. He’d never felt so naked in front of anyone. And here he’d thought that only Myone could see the real him.
His son saw him even more clearly.
Why were his powers so strong?
“Mama thinks it’s because I was conceived in love. She wonders if Monakribos is just as strong because he was conceived the same way.”
That actually explained a lot. And why Xev’s powers were often unstable. He could only imagine what his parents must have thought when he’d been conceived. His father had been drunk, and his mother…
She would have been filled with hatred. Not love.
And if Shadow had been conceived in love, it explained why his powers were so strong, especially given the fact that he was only a demigod.
Xev didn’t even want to think about it. But it made a lot of sense. They did share a lot of the same powers. Though, to be honest, Jared might be a bit stronger, because his powers were drawn from both sides, whereas Kri’s only came from Apollymi.
A chill went down Xev’s spine as another thought occurred to him.
Balance in all things.Was that what his father had been thinking when he claimed Jared as his son? That the Primals couldn’t complain about his son, since they’d allowed Kri to live?
Jared was the balance for Apollymi’s son.
Both of them were sons of Sephirii and gods.
Xev didn’t like where this was going in his mind. Being one of those creatures that the Source had used for balance, he knew it didn’t usually end up well for them. Lilit came to mind, too.
They always seemed to end up shafted in the end.
Jared smiled up at him. “It’ll be all right, Papa. You’ll see.”
But Xev didn’t have his son’s optimism. Life had taught him an entirely different lesson.
Duck and cover. Pray the shit flies overhead and not all over him.
Why didn’t he have the power of clairvoyance? Instead, he was left with hope, and he hated it. Hope carried him forward even when he didn’t want it to. Even when he was bereft. When he wanted to lie down and give up.
It hovered there like an eternal pall that forever haunted him.
How he hated that bitch. Hope was the worst.
Because it wouldn’t let him rest in peace. So long as hope was there, he kept going forward in spite of all common sense. In spite of every obstacle.
Especially when he had this tiny little boy to consider. He couldn’t stop now. Jared’s fate was tied to his. He couldn’t let his son down.
He couldn’t fail Myone.
They were both in this because of him.
“I believe in you, Daddy.”
Xev held his son close. “I believe in you too, Jared.”
Somehow, he’d figure this out. He had to. Because this wasn’t just his life. Everything he loved was now at stake.