15. Mila
15
MILA
I got back to the motel room in a daze.
What a day.
I let Silas touch me while Maverick watched, then I touched Silas—and enjoyed it—before making out with Killian in the elevator.
I closed the door behind me and looked around the empty, silent room. Giggles bubbled up my throat before it turned into full-blown laughter.
“What the actual fuck?” I asked out loud to the silent room. How could this be my life right now?
I was supposed to just escape from the MC and try to live a normal life. Instead, I found myself as lost as I had been the night I left, only now, there were three new confusions to add to the list.
I pushed away from the door and walked over to the bed, sitting down. Living out of a motel wasn’t a solution. I had more than enough to put down for an apartment, but something about settling down here in New Orleans didn’t feel right, though I couldn’t explain it. It wasn’t like I could go back to Chicago, even if my father was no longer there.
I frowned.
I still didn’t know what happened to Lenny. Was he at the police station? What if he posted bail and came back for me, only now, he was pissed off—more so than he had been at the restaurant?
The thought sapped away any lingering amusement.
I had been too careless for the past couple of days. I should have asked Silas what happened to Lenny. Instead, I let my hormones run the show.
But now that I was back in the motel room alone…
Hell.
I looked around. Perhaps I should just leave.
But the thought of leaving Silas…
It left a bitter flavor in my mouth that tasted a lot like regret.
Was my safety really in question?
If Lenny was coming after me again, he would have by now, wouldn’t he?
I shook my head. I wished I had Silas’ number. Considering all the things we had done, I should have asked him for it.
And now…
I didn’t know what to do.
I left my bags unpacked and looked around the new room in the same motel.
As if a new room was really safe. But I had rented this room out with cash and a different name. Thankfully, the person who helped me rent this room wasn’t the same one who’d rented out the first room to me.
That room, I kept. I’d paid for a full week, and due to my mental haze after running away from the club, I had used my own name, so sure Dad would have been too dead to come after me.
I was no longer so sure he had died in the attack, not after Lenny had made his appearance. But there had been more men coming after me the first time I’d tried to run away at fifteen. Why was it just Lenny this time?
Nothing made sense, and a quick search on the web told me nothing. There still wasn’t any news of the massacre. That could be because the club survived, or because no one had discovered the graveyard that was the clubhouse.
It wasn’t like we were big on visits from outsiders.
I requested the new motel room to be directly across from my old room. That way, I would see it if someone familiar came looking for me.
I looked out through the blinds and took in the nearly deserted parking lot, save for my car and three other shitty cars parked there.
What would I do if the club had survived?
I couldn’t go back. At this point, I’d much rather die than go back to that prison.
I shivered.
After a while, I moved away from the blinds and sat on the bed.
It had been two days since I got back from the brothers’ hotel. Silas hadn’t tried to contact me at the restaurant while I was working, and if he made attempts to show up here at my door, I didn’t know it.
And now I was back, alone in my new room, and wondering if Silas had gotten tired of me already. I battled the heavy disappointment settling in the pit of my stomach.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be the unaffected one. I was supposed to be the one who walked away—only now, with the way I was feeling, I wondered if I would have been able to walk away so easily had we been still doing this… fling .
The loud rumbling of the car engine shook me out of my depressing thoughts as I got up from my spot and moved to the blinds once more. I should have moved on, gotten out of New Orleans when I had the chance. Only the thought of leaving without saying anything to Silas had stopped me, and now I was forced to be vigilant.
I doubted I would be getting any sleep tonight.
I peered out the window. It took my brain a while to understand what my eyes were seeing. A car—a black truck—was pulling up in the parking lot.
I stayed where I was and watched the black truck pull into a parking spot beside my car. I could feel my heart stalling when the driver’s side opened, and a familiar man stepped out. His back was to me, but I would have recognized him anywhere. His long legs ate the distance between the truck and the door to my old motel room before he stood in front, raising a strong arm up to knock.
I should probably go out and tell Silas I wasn’t there anymore. I could probably invite him into this new room, especially since I could already feel the excitement sparking on my skin at the mere sight of him.
I did neither of those things.
I continued to watch him, wanting to see what he would do.
He knocked on my door again and waited a while. When he realized no one was there, he walked back to his truck. He didn’t get in.
Instead, he frowned at my car before looking around, as if he thought I might appear out of nowhere.
His eyes came to a stop at the window I was standing behind and stayed there. I held my breath. It was like he had X-ray vision or something. I quickly moved away from the window when I saw him narrow his gaze. In my haste, I accidentally moved the blinds.
I didn’t need to look out the window again to know he was approaching.
Still, I nearly jumped out of my skin when a knock sounded at my door three times. I placed a hand on my chest, trying to calm my erratic heart, and slowly walked to the door. I opened the door a crack to his beautiful frowning face.
“You moved rooms. Why?”
Why, indeed.
“Is someone bothering you?”
I shook my head, not saying anything. His eyes roamed over my face, then down my body, almost as if he was searching for injuries. Something about that warmed my skin and softened me up—slightly.
What a dangerous line to walk. I couldn’t be soft, especially not for a man like Silas.
He would eat me alive.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
I hesitated. Then, slowly, I moved away from the door and opened it wider for him. I left enough room for him to pass, but he still managed to brush against me. I didn’t know if he did it on purpose or not.
I shut the door and locked it behind me, turning on the light as Silas looked around the small room, made that much smaller by his presence. And not just because he was so big, but because he had an aura about him.
It was as if he had sucked up all the energy in the room simply by walking into it.
I blinked, and he turned around. Making himself comfortable, he sat on the bed.
“Come sit with me, angel.”
I had been feeling so unsettled for the past couple of days, and it wasn’t until I heard him call me angel in that deep, addictive voice of his that I finally felt like I could breathe again.
I walked over to him and was about to sit down next to him on the bed when he grabbed me around my middle and pulled me to his lap.
I tensed for a fraction of a second before I relaxed into his warm body. My face settled in the crook of his neck, taking in his scent.
“Fuck, but I missed you,” he said, echoing the sentiment I had been unable to put into words, not even to myself.
Everything with him was just so brand new, and now I didn’t even know who I was when I was with him, and if that was a good thing or not.
His arms tightened around me, as if he was afraid to let me go.
“How’s my baby doing?” he asked. One hand came up and absent-mindedly played with my long hair.
I opened my mouth to tell him I was good. That wasn’t what came out. “Where were you?”
I tensed, and he tensed. I wasn’t even sure why I had asked that. It wasn’t like he owed me anything. Fuck.
I closed my eyes. “That was a stupid question. Don’t answer me.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s stupid. Just… unexpected. I haven’t really had to explain myself to anyone, not even my brothers.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” I said quickly.
He pulled me closer to him. I inhaled deeply, taking in his scent.
“Yes, I do. I should have told you I was needed elsewhere. You need to give me your number, baby.”
“Hmm,” was all I said, not trusting my own voice. That would be nice. And if I ever needed to leave New Orleans quickly, I wouldn’t be leaving without saying a word. That sounded good. Yet my entire being seemed to cave into itself at the thought of leaving. I was starting to wonder if I could leave him behind without it breaking me somehow.
I shook the thought away.
“Silas?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you staying the night?”
I felt him press his lips on the top of my head. “Do you want me to stay?”
“Yes,” I answered before I could think better of it. I wanted him to stay. If he stayed, I wouldn’t have to be so vigilant. Silas was a capable man. If he stayed, I would be safe. I pulled back and stared into his honey-brown eyes. “Do you know what happened to Lenny?”
“Lenny,” he said, his lips curling into disgust. “You know some pretty interesting people, angel. Did you know he had a long list of felonies on his record?”
I blinked. I wasn’t shocked by that. What surprised me was that Silas had that knowledge. And the fact that he seemed to be taking this better than I thought most would. Someone normal would have stayed as far away from me as possible, wouldn’t they? Afraid I might bring whatever shit past I had right to their front door. Silas wasn’t running.
“How do you know?”
“A man has his ways,” he said cryptically.
“Right. What happened to him?”
“The state jail is keeping him locked up. Supposedly, he’s wanted in several states, so there’s no way he’d be released on bail.”
I sagged, relieved. Perhaps the club hadn’t survived, and Lenny was one of the few who had gotten away. Perhaps the MC would no longer come after me now that Lenny was being put away, possibly for good.
Perhaps I didn’t have to run anymore.
I blinked and kept my face hidden in Silas’ neck, trying to will away the burning in my eyes.
“Baby?” he asked.
I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t.
I wrapped my arms around his waist.
“You know he can’t hurt you anymore, right?” Silas said, and there was so much confidence in his words that I believed him. Lenny was out of my life for good.
I nodded.
“Good,” he answered gruffly. “So don’t worry anymore.”
The command was so authoritative, I couldn’t help but chuckle. I drew back. “You say it like it’s easy.”
“It is easy. You just have to believe it. I mean, look at me. You don’t see me weighed down from worry.”
I eyed his muscular chest and huge frame. “Well, of course you would say that. How tall are you, anyway?”
He grinned. “I’m six feet and three inches of pure muscle and magnetism, angel. And all yours.”
I rolled my eyes. “Be serious.”
“I am.” He wasn’t smiling as he said it, but the amusement in his eyes gave him away. I shook my head, cuddling back into him. How ridiculous. As if a man like Silas could ever belong to anyone—least of all, to me.
We watched a movie in bed after dinner.
Whatever I had expected from Silas when I saw him come out of his truck in the parking lot, having pizza for dinner and watching a Marvel movie with him wasn’t it. There was some heavy fondling underneath the blanket, mostly from him, but that was the extent of the physical intimacy all night.
Afterward, we quickly got ready for bed, and Silas held me close in his arms, spooning me from behind.
One hand came up and wrapped around my breast, the other down between my legs, cupping my mound. It was an intimate position. Far more intimate than I’d thought I would be comfortable with, but oddly, I was.
I didn’t stop him, only turned slightly to see the amused smile playing on his lips and the challenge in his eyes, almost daring me to go shy on him now. I turned back around and snuggled into the pillow. His soft chuckle vibrated across my skin, making it tingle, before he placed a swift and affectionate kiss on my shoulder.
“Good girl,” he murmured, his thumb pushing slightly over my clit. I held my breath, trying to keep still. Had I not liked the praise so much, I might have elbowed him in the stomach.
He tightened his arms around me for a quick second before relaxing his hold.
Was this what I had missed out on, growing up with Daniel Hayes as my father? Growing up in what was no doubt a fucking cage?
I didn’t get the chance to be normal. To have normal crushes and experience this level of intimacy with someone else.
The one and only time I had even attempted to go out on a date with someone had ended in disaster.
The closer I got to Silas, the more I resented the way I had grown up. The more I resented my father.