19. Silas
19
SILAS
My feet crunched on the gravel as I made my way across the parking lot of the motel room.
The cameras I had installed in the room while Mila slept the other night told me she was home. She was still sleeping in her bed the last time I checked.
I also knew she hadn’t always spent the night here while I was gone.
I smiled.
Naughty girl. What had she been up to with Maverick? And I fucking knew it was with Maverick. The tracker I’d placed in her handbag told me exactly where she was at all times.
I wasn’t taking any risks with her. I was going to track Mila closely until it was time for us to take her back to Chicago.
But now the little innocent was back in her motel room, sound asleep without a care in the world, not knowing her monster was back.
I was sure there was still some of the Heartless Saint MC scum around. I was fucking obsessed with Mila, but the thought that Sebastian might be as well and was sending men to bring her back to him made no sense to me. Not based on everything I had learned about the bastard.
Which meant there was something going on. Something deeper that involved my girl, and I wasn’t even sure she knew the reason for it.
We needed to get back to Chicago soon. We were technically in neutral territory, but there were just too many goddamn former members of the MC around for comfort.
At least, in Chicago, I could order an entire army of men to protect Mila. I could be sure she was well-guarded.
And she wouldn’t be able to leave.
Everything here was just too uncertain.
I shook my head when I got to her door.
It was barely five in the morning right now. I doubted she would hear me even if I knocked loudly, and something about waking her up at this hour didn’t sit right with me. Just because I functioned on a little less sleep than most didn’t mean she didn’t need her sleep.
I looked around once more. Not a soul in sight. Crouching, I took the lock-picking kit from my pocket and worked on her doorknob.
The security here was shit, and the people who stayed in this motel were shittier.
It made things easier for me, but I fucking hated that she was here without any protection.
The lock gave way not even a minute in.
I took another look around the place and went inside.
My eyes found her in the dark right away. She was sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed, the covers piled on her body, almost hiding her completely. I smiled a little at the sight as my hand moved up and rubbed around my chest. I wondered why my heart was feeling like this just from watching her.
Silently, I moved to the bed and climbed on top of the covers, keeping my eyes on her the entire time.
I pulled the blanket away and studied my girl after days without laying eyes on her. Fucking torture. She was wearing a tank top with little bows around the collar. It dipped low, revealing a good amount of her skin, and her nipples puckered against the soft, thin, nearly see-through fabric.
I got hard instantly.
I reached over and lightly circled her nipple through the shirt, loving the way they hardened from my attention. She let out a low moan, but remained asleep.
I smiled a little at that, and pulled the top of the tank top down until both tits sprang free.
Fuck, I missed her tits.
Her fucking glorious tits.
I gently pulled on one, resisting the urge to take the other one in my mouth for fear of waking her.
Her hips lifted slightly, a slight flush overtaking her skin.
How pretty.
Goose bumps littered her skin.
Regretfully, I put her shirt back into place and wrapped the covers over her once more, shielding her from my gaze.
She barely stirred.
My brothers and I learned early on to always sleep with one eye open, no matter where we were.
I found it endearing that she could sleep so soundly, even in a shitty motel room. Endearing and annoying.
Her sense of self-preservation was something we would need to work on, no matter how much I wanted her to always be like this. Ignorant of the world’s cruelty.
I frowned when she shifted to her side, facing away from me.
I reached out and traced the scars with my fingertips.
These looked a hell of a lot like whip lashes.
Anger coursed through my body.
Her father’s work, no doubt.
So—not so fucking innocent to the world’s cruelty. I pulled away, afraid she might sense my anger the longer I touched her.
Not for the first time, I wished we had kept Daniel Hayes alive for a little longer.
Carefully, when I was no longer on the verge of exploding, I reached my arms for her, holding her gently to me.
The breakfast bag crinkled in my hand as I made my way over to her door.
It was eight o’clock in the morning.
A more acceptable time to be showing up at her door. After holding her in my arms for a couple of hours, I left to check in with Maverick. Killian was probably on his way back as well, and I couldn’t hold us up much longer.
As much as I wanted to go back, this time with her here in New Orleans—a time in which she didn’t hate me– didn’t feel like enough. She might be infatuated with me, but Mila was cautious on a good day. She hadn’t fallen in love with me yet.
It was too short of a time. And as much as I wished I could give her more time to get used to the idea of being mine—being ours —that just wasn’t possible. Perhaps this would make her hate us less.
Or more , a vicious voice whispered in my head.
Ignoring that, I knocked on her door and waited.
She answered it with messy hair and sleepy eyes, still in her sleep clothes.
My eyes made a slow perusal up and down her body, fucking loving this look, and hating that she had answered the door like this.
The way her eyes rounded in surprise told me she hadn’t been expecting me. I doubted she had looked through the peephole to see who was on the other side.
“Silas!”
I didn’t get the chance to reprimand her for taking such a risk. She rushed into me, wrapping her arms around me tightly.
Fuck.
My heart felt calm and out of control at the same time.
Was there ever a time someone was genuinely happy to see me?
I wrapped my arms around her small frame and pulled her tighter to me, leaning down and burying my face in the crook of her neck. I took in a huge inhale.
Please don’t fucking hate me.
I would do whatever it took to ensure she loved me more than she hated me.
“Fuck, I missed you,” I muttered into her skin.
She tensed slightly before leaning back and looking at me with those devastating eyes of hers. Her lips pursed, drawing my gaze to them, and I resisted the urge to claim her mouth. To claim everything.
“You missed me?” she asked softly, as if it was such a surprise.
“I missed you,” I repeated, so there was no mistaking the words.
She glanced away for a beat before bringing her eyes back to me once more, smiling a little.
I vowed right then: I would maim, kill, and cheat anyone and everyone just to keep her smiling at me.
“Come inside,” she said shyly.
I nodded and followed her in, checking out our surroundings once more before I shut the door behind us.
“How was your trip?” she asked.
“Fucking long,” I sighed.
She turned to me. “What did you do?”
Everything Maverick had expected of me. Tortured and killed any MC bastards I came into contact with. It was as we suspected. Sebastian Cline was rebuilding the army, and he would try to take us on.
This meant war.
Not only with the MC, but with any gang in and around Chicago that decided they wanted a piece of a very lucrative pie. Unfortunately for them, we weren’t going to make it easy.
“Talked to a few people,” I said finally.
The look she shot me said she didn’t really believe me, but she must have decided it wasn’t important enough to get into, because she changed the subject by pointing at the bag in my hand. “What’s that?”
I handed it to her. “Don’t get too excited. This is just breakfast. Because of the… errand Maverick sent me on, I didn’t get much free time. And I was trying to get back to you as soon as possible, so I didn’t have time to buy you anything. I’ll buy you something next time.”
I’d fucking buy her the entire world if she asked.
She was quiet when she took the bag from my hand and walked over to the bed, leaning against it slightly. Her eyes avoided mine as she pulled out the breakfast burrito, unwrapped it, and took a bite. I watched as she chewed slowly, a thoughtful look appearing on her face.
I didn’t say anything, just waited for her to gather her thoughts. Finally, she pinned me with her eyes. “You were trying to get back to me as soon as possible?”
I nodded, wondering what about the statement she found strange.
“You miss me. You’ll buy me something next time? I thought this was just a fling.”
I didn’t react to her words. Fuck, but of course she would think that. I hadn’t given any indication that it was something more. And how could I, in such a short amount of time?
I tried to keep my expression neutral as I walked over to her. I must not have done a good job of it, considering she was looking at me like Bambi would the hunter.
I didn’t stop until I had her trapped against the mattress. If she leaned back any farther, she would find herself lying flat on her back with me blanketing her. And the way I was feeling, I didn’t think she would want that much.
I took the breakfast burrito from her grip and placed it on the nightstand. Food could wait, and with the way she was gripping the thing, I doubted her food was even on her mind right now.
“A fling?” I asked quietly.
She frowned. “Yes?”
I smiled a little at the question in her voice.
“Isn’t that what we are?” she asked.
“Hmm,” I answered. We weren’t a fucking fling, but if she wanted to think that to make herself feel better, I wasn’t going to correct her. She would learn soon enough just how fucking serious I was.
I cupped her cheeks with both hands until she looked up at me. Confusion and questions swirled in her eyes.
“Did you miss me?” I asked.
“I already told you I did,” she grumbled. I nodded. She did. I wanted to hear it again. And it proved to me that she was quickly becoming as obsessed with me as I already was with her.
I leaned down and did what I had wanted to do when I saw her sleeping on the bed this morning. I kissed her.
She didn’t move for two long seconds before I felt her come alive in my arms. I deepened the kiss, moving one hand to the back of her head, my fingers tangling in her soft hair, and bringing the other hand to her neck, squeezing it lightly.
She pulled away from the kiss, her eyes darkening.
“It seems my neck is like a kink for you and your brother.”
My smile widened viciously. It appeared more had been happening than I’d even thought.
“Only one brother is into breath play, angel, and it’s not Maverick or me.” I probably contradicted my words when I tightened my grip around her a bit.
The way she blushed told me I had guessed right. “What have you and Killian been getting up to, my naughty girl?”
I fucking knew that fucker would fall under her spell, and I was right. I could laugh about that, considering his grumpy ass had been giving me a hard time since the first time we saw her.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
“No response?”
I let go of my grip on her neck, but kept my hand curved around her as she took a big gulp of air.
“Trust me, angel?” I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until she smiled at me and nodded, easing the ache that was starting to form in my chest.
What a fucking precious thing her trust was.
And how fucking regrettable it was going to be to see that trust die in her eyes.
I tried not to dwell on the near future and instead focused on the present. On her. Without saying anything, I moved my hand down to her chest, where her heart was beating erratically, and eased her back until she had no choice but to lie down on the bed.
“Silas?”
“Shh, angel. Let me show you how much I missed my girl.”
Her breath caught at the words “my girl,” and I smiled, taking her in.
Fuck me, but those sleep shorts of hers were going to be the death of me, I was sure of it.
I yanked them up, and she gasped when she felt the bite of the fabric against her pussy lips. I didn’t need to see her to know she was fucking wet for me already.
“Tell me, baby. What have you and Killian been getting up to?”
She sputtered something unintelligible and wouldn’t meet my eyes. I pulled a little harder on the shorts, and her hips started to gyrate against the friction.
“Yes?”
Leaning down until our faces were mere inches apart, I licked the side of her cheek.
She bit her lip, as if she was afraid to make too much noise. Had she known what those noises did to me, she wouldn’t be so fucking cautious, so shy.
I leaned back, wrapping my hand around her neck with one hand and tugging on her shorts with the other, sliding them down her legs until they were far enough she could kick them away for me.
Her stomach dipped when she took a deep breath, and I glanced down to find her bare for me.
“Fucking hell. You weren’t wearing any panties?”
She shook her head slightly, her eyes darkening.
I squeezed her neck slightly and gritted out, “Spread your legs for me, baby.”
She obeyed beautifully, showing me what belonged to me. I licked my lips when her scent teased my nostrils.
“Let’s play a game.”
“A game?” she asked, a flush racing to her cheeks.
I nodded. “A game. Trust me, you’ll love this game. I want you to focus on me, got it? And when I ask a question, you answer it. Simple?”
Her suspicious eyes told me she didn’t think it was that simple. She would be right.
I cupped her pussy and squeezed, grinding the palm of my hand over her slit and giving her that friction she needed so badly. She let out a small whimper and lifted her hips, trying to move more into my touch. I tightened my grip around her neck, cutting off the air supply.
Her hands grabbed my arm, but she didn’t try to pull me away. Good girl. I loosened my grip once more and let her get in as much air as possible, while I went back to playing with her pussy once more, sliding my fingers over the drenched lips from side to side.
A moan escaped her. “Please, Silas.”
“I know, baby. I know what you need.”
I choked her once more, driving two thick fingers inside and spreading her for me. Fuck me, but I could feel her hymen.
My sweet, innocent girl.
It was going to be so much fun corrupting her.
I let her breathe once more, my fingers relentless against her.
“Don’t hold back on me,” I growled. “I want to feel you come on my fingers.”
I quickened the pace, feeling her arousal as it dripped out of her pussy, wetting the bed and my hand.
Hell.
“Silas! Please.”
I didn’t know if she was begging me to stop or to keep going. It didn’t matter. I kept up with the brutal thrusts. It wasn’t until I choked her one more time that she lost the battle. She squirmed on the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. She let out a loud cry when I let her breathe again.
Her pussy convulsed around me, and I kept my eyes on her face, fascinated. I was going to remember this image for as long as I lived, no doubt about it.
“Now, about my questions,” I said when she came down. She looked up at me with half-lidded eyes.
She would no doubt be more receptive to answering me now.
“Did you and my brother kiss, baby?”
She bit her lip. “Killian?”
I laughed. “Yes, Killian. I know you kissed Maverick.”
The expression on her face told me she hadn’t expected that.
“Are you mad?” she asked quietly.
I didn’t say anything. I climbed on the bed with her and pulled her into my arms. She came willingly, resting her head on my chest. “Mad? No, baby girl. I told you before, my brothers and I are close.”
“That’s not really normal.”
I shrugged. “Fuck normal.”
As if my brothers and I cared about what was normal. We would be considered psychopaths from a societal standpoint.
“You’re really okay with that?” she asked, a hitch to her voice making me take notice.
I bent my head down. “Yes, but not with other men.”
It wasn’t hard to hear the warning in my voice. I narrowed my eyes at her. “I mean it, Mila. I’d kill any fucker who even get close to you.”
She shook, a small laugh bubbling out of her.
I tightened my arms around her. She probably thought I was kidding. I fucking wasn’t. And I’d hate to be the poor fucker she let in because she didn’t heed my warning.
“You make this sound so… serious . Like we’re more than just a fling.”
There was that fucking word again. I vowed that I would obliterate that fucking word from her vocabulary, even if it took me a lifetime.
“Does this feel like a fling?” I asked mildly.
She silently shook her head.
And there was her fucking answer, had she been brave enough to see it.
“Let me hold you,” I whispered softly into her hair. “I have to go back and check in with Maverick soon, so I’m going to hold you for as long as possible.”
She let out a small sigh that I felt all the way down to my bones. “Sounds good.”
I shook my head. She was wrong. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t enough. But it was a fucking start.