Chapter 16
I wakeup to Kisten”s arms around me. I”m not curled against his side like last night when I fell asleep. Instead, I”m lying on top of him. My upper body is draped over his chest, and my legs are tangled with his. We couldn”t get closer if we tried. I love being this close to him.
His even breathing tells me that he”s asleep. I slowly shift my body, trying to move off him without waking him up. I don”t know what he will think about me sleeping on top of him, and I don”t want things to be awkward. I barely move an inch before his arms tighten around me.
”Where are you going?” he asks. His voice is sleeprough and sexier than it has any right to be.
”Sorry, I didn”t mean to wake you.”
”If you”re awake, I”m awake,” he says, nuzzling his face into my hair.
”I should move. This can”t be comfortable for you.”
He grunts, pulling me even further on top of him. ”I like you here where you belong.”
My cheeks heat with a blush. I”m glad he can”t see that I”m embarrassed by his words. Though I”m happy he feels that way because everything inside me says this is where I belong. I feel like everything I”ve been through has led me to this moment. I”m not saying I wouldn”t change anything that has happened in my life, but if I had known this was waiting for me on the other side of the pain, it would”ve made enduring easier.
”When do we leave?” I ask instead of confessing how much his words reflect my feelings.
”After breakfast. I need to make sure Lucy is ready to go on time and check in with Gladys to ensure everyone else is set to move on to Hope House.”
”Okay. I should take a shower. My hair is probably wrecked after last night.”
He tries to run his fingers through it, but they get caught in the tangles. He chuckles and kisses the top of my head.
”A shower it is…”
He rolls me off him until he”s poised over me. The heat in his eyes makes butterflies take flight in my stomach. The sheer desire in his eyes is heady. His hips shift, and the roughness of his jeans on my thighs is a stark reminder that I”m naked. I can feel my whole body flush. I can”t believe I”ve been lying on top of him this entire time naked and didn”t realize it.
”You”re beautiful.”
I”ve been told that many times before, and it”s always sickened me. From Kisten, it makes me feel shy and a little unsure. I don”t understand how he can say that about me, considering what I am. I”ve been treated less than human for so long that it”s hard to think of myself as something different and even harder to accept that someone as amazing as him would ever want me.
”Whatever you”re thinking, stop,” he growls.
I blink up at him, surprised he can read me so well after such a short time. I”ve had a lockdown on my emotions for so long it”s disconcerting that someone can see past the mask I wear. I”m not sure how I feel about him being so perceptive. It”ll prevent me from spiraling in my head if he”s always there to call me out.
”It”s hard to accept that you want me.”
”Don”t ever doubt it. I wanted you that first night. Had I known what was happening, I would”ve carried you out right then.”
I can see the truth of his words reflected in his eyes. I can”t believe he wants me the same way I want him. Now we have the chance to be together. I haven”t ever believed in fate, but how we met and how he was at the auction almost feels like kismet.
”I need you to believe me, Willow. I”m not letting you go now. You gave yourself over to me. I never walk away from what”s mine.”
I can”t seem to find my voice, so I just nod. He leans in and kisses me softly.
”Let”s get ready for the day. I”ll go to the room next door and clean up while you shower.”
I immediately want to protest and make him stay. I need to get over my clinginess before he gets sick of me. I hurry into the bathroom before I have to watch him walk away from me. My anxiety at being parted from him is silly. I”ve never been anything but independent. Even before I was taken. I”ve only been able to depend on myself for years, and the first time I have someone I can count on, I”m overly attached. It”s unhealthy, I”m sure, but I don”t care. It feels right.
Even though the shower feels amazing and washing my hair in steaming hot water is heavenly I still rush through getting clean. I would like to say it”s because I”m used to showering quickly, but it”s because I don”t want to miss Kisten returning. Every second we are apart, my skin gets itchier, like a million bugs crawling under my skin. I don”t like it.
I wrap a fluffy towel around my body and another around my hair. I should take the time to brush it out right now, but I”m low-key hoping Kisten will offer to brush it for me again. That moment is burned into my mind as one of the best moments of my life. I want a repeat of it every day until forever. I can”t imagine a man like Kisten doing that all the time. It was likely just a one-off, but I will keep the dream alive for a bit longer.
There are four large bags that I didn”t notice before sitting in front of the dresser. I peek inside the first two and find clothes; the third bag has two pairs of shoes and a purse, and the fourth bag makes me gasp. Ignoring the new clothes, I grab the fourth bag and rush to the bed to empty it. Tears well up in my eyes at each new thing I take out of the bag.
There are two new sketchbooks that are obviously expensive. Both are bound books; one has a dark brown cover, and the other is black leather. They are the nicest sketchbooks I”ve ever seen and beyond anything I could”ve hoped for. Once the bag is empty, I pick up each item to study it closer. Every kind of media that can be used to sketch is here… charcoals, pastels, fancy pencils and pens, every color of colored pencil, erasers, a pencil sharpener, and more.
”Do you like it?” I jump at Kisten”s voice. ”Sorry, love. I didn”t mean to startle you.”
”It”s okay. I didn”t hear you come in.”
He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me. I tilt my head to look up at him, making the towel wrapped around my hair fall off. He leans in and kisses me below my ear. ”I should”ve known you”d go right for the art supplies.”
”It”s too much. I only need a pencil and a notebook.”
He spins me in his arms and hooks a finger under my chin to raise my eyes to his. ”It”s not too much. You should always have the best.”
I rise up on my tiptoes and brush my lips against his cheek. ”Thank you, Kisten. I just don”t want anyone wasting money on me.”
He lets out a low growl and grips me tight around the waist. ”Nothing is wasted on you. Do you hear me? You deserve good things. I”m going to spoil you so rotten I”ll have to spank it out of you.”
My eyes widen, and my core tingles at his words. I shouldn”t like the thought of being hit, but Kisten taking me over his knee and spanking me with one of his big hands makes me feel hot. This whole arousal thing is crazy. After last night, I feel like my body is supercharged. Having him on top of me should”ve made me nervous because he”s so much stronger. He”s already proven I”m no match for his strength, but I”m not scared of him.
He won”t hurt me even though he”s dangerous and capable of violence. He”s not that kind of man. He”s a protector and would never hurt an innocent person. As sure as I am that he”s no danger to me, I”m equally sure he”s going to make everyone involved in the trafficking ring suffer. A dark part of me can”t wait to see that side of him come out. I”m almost afraid of how excited I am about making them pay. The idea of making the people who stole my life bleed is intoxicating. I can”t wait.
”Beauty, don”t look at me like that. I”m a man on the edge and trying to do what”s right for you,” he says, looking pained.
The fact that he wants me and is holding back makes me want to push him to see how far I can go before he breaks. I turn my attention back to my new art supplies instead of poking the beast. Wanting to test him and actually testing him are two different things. I don”t think I”m ready to see what happens. With how my body reacts to him, I”m not sure how long I”ll be able to behave myself. Or how long I”ll want to behave.
Kisten empties the clothing bags with way more clothes than I need. Everything is high quality, and I can tell the fabrics are all soft. No more ugly, itchy dresses with stains. It”s surreal to know this is my life now. He picks out a light purple sleeveless, flowy top and a dark pair of skinny jeans. I finger the shirt, enjoying the silkiness of it. He sets out a pair of pink cotton panties and a matching bra. I frown at the bra. It won”t work with a shirt with spaghetti straps. I haven”t worn a bra aside from the slutty ones I was forced to wear in years. Honestly, it doesn”t appeal to me at all.
I drop the towel and reach for the panties. Kisten hisses out a breath when I bend to pull them on. I can feel his eyes on me, and I love it. It”s craziness. I”ve lost my mind. That”s the only answer for why I”m teasing him. It”s like poking a bear and waiting to see if he”s going to wake up and lash out. I”m titillated by thinking about what he will do when he finally hits the breaking point.
I put on the jeans and then pull the silky top on. It slides across my nipples, making me shiver. After last night, I”m more aware of my body than ever. I”ve become so used to pain that pleasure feels foreign. I could quickly get addicted to feeling that kind of pleasure.
Kisten goes to the bathroom and returns a few moments later with the hairbrush. He sits on the bed and pulls me down in front of him. My insides are all warm and melty at his care. He takes his time brushing out every knot, making sure not to hurt me. I close my eyes and enjoy being taken care of. When my hair is untangled and lying smooth down my back, he sets the brush aside and wraps his arms around me. I relax against him, boneless.
My stomach growls, making him chuckle. ”Let”s go get breakfast, and then we can head out.”
I start to put my things back in the bags, Kisten stops me with a gentle touch. ”Annie will pack up your things.”
”I can do it…”
He gives me a stern look, but I can see the affection in his eyes. ”I know you can, but Annie will do it so we can go eat.”
I nod even though I don”t like giving Annie more work when it”s such a small task. I follow Kisten downstairs. I have a lot more energy today. A few good meals and decent sleep have done wonders. It won”t be long until I”m back to full strength.
”Is there somewhere I can train?” I ask.
”Train?”
”Yeah. I know how to fight, but it”s been a long time since I”ve been able to train.”
”Where did you learn to fight?” he asks.
”My dad taught me,” I murmur. A pang of sadness hits me, but I push it aside. I can”t focus on those feelings right now. I need to help take care of the traffickers, then I can make decisions about my dad.
”He did a good job,” Kisten says. ”You fought hard. Considering how malnourished and weak you were… I can imagine you”ll be a force to be reckoned with when you”re back to a hundred percent.”
I smile at his compliment. ”I was the best female fighter at the gym. Even bested some of the light-weight guys.”
He laughs. ”You took down grown men as a teenager?”
I raise a brow. ”Do you think I”m lying?”
He pulls me close as we enter the dining room. ”No, beauty. I think you”re fucking amazing. I believe you.”
I blush at his compliment. I like him complimenting my fighting ability even more than telling me I”m beautiful. One is just nature, and the other is pure grit, determination, and hard work. Yeah, I will take his compliments of my abilities over my looks any day.
We follow the same routine as yesterday. I load up my plate, and he gets me a glass of water and lemonade and a cup of coffee for himself before filling his own plate. I”m glad that the other girls aren”t at the table yet. I like most of them, but I don”t feel like dealing with their judgment. Even though Lucy is the only one brave—or stupid—enough to say something, it isn”t hard to see what the others think about how Kisten is with me.
I”m sure they think I”m suffering from Stockholm syndrome or something. That”s not the case at all. And it”s not hero worship or any other explanation they could use to make sense of it. Honestly, I don”t even understand. I”m just not questioning it anymore. I want to be with him, and he wants me here. That”s all I need to know.
I”ve finished half of a cheese omelet, almost a whole waffle, and a slice of bacon when my stomach starts to ache. Kisten slides my plate over and finishes off my breakfast for me. Every time he eats my leftovers, I fall a little more in love with him. Love is a weird concept to me. I”ve never experienced it with anyone but my dad. I never thought I would. Feeling this strongly for Kisten so quickly seems impossible, yet here I am, falling in love with him.
”I don”t understand why we have to leave so early.” Lucy”s whining voice sounds from the hallway, and I cringe. Of all the girls, she”s the one I least want to see.
”Your flight leaves at noon, and you”ll need time to check in and find your gate,” Kisten says.
”I still can”t believe I have to fly commercial! Ugh! Do you even know who my father is?!”
I roll my eyes at her theatrics. ”Pretty sure everyone you”ve ever come in contact with for over a minute knows who your father is. You can”t shut up about him.”
Her mouth falls open, and she stutters. ”I always knew you were a stupid bitch.”
Kisten lets out a warning noise. If he were an animal, it would be described as a feral junkyard dog seconds before the attack. ”Watch your mouth. You”re lucky to be taking a plane. I could drop you at the bus station with a couple hundred bucks and send you on your way.”
”You wouldn”t dare!”
His smile says that he absolutely would. I almost wish he would. It would serve her right for being a horrid human being. She smartly shuts up. After breakfast, everything moves quickly. We say goodbye to the girls who are going to Hope House in a couple of days. I share an awkward but tearful hug with Gladys, who makes Kisten promise to bring me the next time he visits. It”s odd having someone care enough to want to check up on me. It”s an uncomfortable feeling, but I also like it.
Unfortunately, we are Lucy”s ride to the airport. During the entire drive, she prattles on about everything she will do when she gets home and how she can”t wait to return to the real world. I personally feel like what we”ve been through is a more accurate depiction of the real world than anything about my old life.
The last six years have shown me the darkest depths of humanity. The men who owned me and the clients at Mecca all live nice, normal lives. They have families and jobs. Some are regular businessmen; others are men tasked with protecting and serving their communities.
That”s the real world. Not the nice, cushy life in L.A. where daddy hands you his credit card and lets you do whatever you want. That”s just a lie. The real world is ugly and cruel. Even my quiet life with my dad wasn”t the full scope of reality. I saw violence and met a lot of people who did terrible things for the right reasons. I now understand the wariness they carried around like a cloke.
The men who were ex-military were hardened by all they saw and did. It was always easy for me to pick out the men and women who came to the gym to exorcise their demons from the ones who wanted to make a name for themselves and knew my dad was the ticket to get them there.
I understand their motivations better now. I also understand better why my dad pushed me. He wasn”t just training my body. He was strengthening my mind, showing me how to overcome the weaknesses of my physical body with mental fortitude and determination. Because of that, I”m here now. I”m not a broken doll like so many other women I”ve seen over the years.
Kisten reaches over the console and puts his hand on my thigh. I love how he always seems to know what I need. I put my hand on his. He turns his hand, threading his fingers with mine. I don”t hide my smile.
Showing emotions is also new to me. I had to hide my feelings because they were dangerous. I had to put on an act. Showing my real emotional responses always ended badly. It didn”t take long for me to figure that out…
If they beat me, they wanted my screams and tears. My natural reaction was anger and threats. During sex, they either wanted compliance and enthusiasm, or they wanted a fight—just not a real one. They wanted the illusion of a fight. A rape fantasy that was very real for me but had zero repercussions or dangers to them. I learned the hard way that actually hurting the men was a bad idea. I blooded a man”s nose with a well-timed headbutt. I was hoping to break his nose, but bloodying it and giving him two black eyes was satisfying, too. That punishment was well worth the pain.
At the airport, Kisten hands Lucy an older model cell phone that I know is an untraceable burner phone. She whines when he pulls her two large suitcases and carry-on bag out of the trunk and passes them to her. She is clearly unhappy when he moves to get back into the car. I am fighting my giggles when I watch her struggle to drag the two large suitcases into the building. It serves her right for demanding so much stuff.
”She will be so mad when she sees her flight plans. I almost wish I could see her reaction.”
Kisten smirks. ”She”s definitely going to be surprised. I bet she tries to talk her way into an upgrade that won”t happen.”
A sudden, unpleasant thought hits me. ”What if she tells people about what you do? What will happen to Gladys?” I ask.
I don”t know why that didn”t occur to me before now. Now that I”ve thought about it, I”m worried.
”Gladys will be fine. She has security. But Lucy is oblivious and wasn”t paying attention to her surroundings. Everyone was too on edge the night I brought you to Gladys”s to know how to get there. She couldn”t find Gladys if she tried. As far as her telling people about me, bring it on.”
”You”re right. She”s too self-absorbed to have paid attention. I doubt she”ll want her image ruined by what happened to her anyway. Who knows how her dad will react since he”s so important in their circle.”
He grunts his agreement.
I sit back and watch as the city passes by. I”ve never had the opportunity to see the city even though I”ve been here for at least four of the six years I was kept captive. It”s bigger and busier than I realized. I”m overwhelmed by how many people I see. Mecca”s main floor was busy at times, but this is worse. I”m relieved when he pulls into a parking garage and away from the hustle and bustle of the city.
Unlike Lucy, Kisten won”t let me carry my own bags. I have a large suitcase and a nice leather satchel with my new art supplies in it. Annie really thought of everything when she shopped for me.
I”m not surprised when Kisten has to enter a code for the elevator to start to move. It”s a quick ride to the top floor. The doors slide open straight into the foyer of an enormous penthouse. Kisten guides me out of the elevator. I”m slightly surprised by how homey it feels. There”s dark furniture and a huge TV that screams bachelor pad, but the cream-colored pillows and soft-looking throw blanket are a feminine touch. It makes me wonder who added those touches to an otherwise masculine space.
”Make yourself at home, beauty,” he says, kissing the top of my head before walking down a hallway with my bags.
I”m tempted to follow him, but I”m drawn to the large bookshelves on either side of the TV. There are a lot of books that all look like they”ve been read multiple times. The titles are primarily thrillers and horror books. Definitely fitting for Kisten. There are several picture frames and some trinkets mixed in on the shelves. I feel like I”m being nosey despite him telling me to make myself comfortable in his home, but I can”t help wanting to know more about my savior.
I pick up one of the frames with a picture of a beautiful woman holding a baby. A wave of jealousy sweeps through me. What if this is Kisten”s wife and child? Oh God, I”m an idiot. I never even asked if he”s single… I”m teetering on the edge of a major freakout when the heat of his body lines up with my back. He moves my hair away from my shoulder and kisses my neck. A shiver runs through me as his lips stroke my sensitive skin.
”That”s Rose and her daughter Iris. She”s my brother”s wife.”
I practically sag in relief. Kisten wouldn”t be touching me if he weren”t single. He”s a good man. He isn”t like the assholes that came to the club. I hate that my go to response is doubt. I will have to work on that because Kisten doesn”t deserve it.
”You”ll meet them soon. Iris”s birthday is in a couple weeks, and Rose will murder me if I miss it.”
It scares me to think about meeting Kisten”s family, but if I”m going to be a part of his life, I need to warm up to the idea.
He picks up another photo showing me the same woman with a handsome man smiling down at her on what”s obviously their wedding day. He continues to show me pictures, telling me about the people in them. I”m intrigued by his brothers and their wives. He briefly mentions that his brothers help him with the trafficking rings. Slade lives in Las Vegas and does what he can to keep Sin City free of traffickers.
It makes me wonder if he shut down the men that took me. Vegas is a dangerous city, and it makes me feel better to know there”s someone with the same priorities as Kisten there helping end trafficking rings.
I have respect for his brothers even though I”ve never met them. Kisten tells me Rose and Hannah have a lot in common with me but that it”s their story to tell. I completely understand. I wouldn”t want someone else telling my story. It will change how people look at me, and I don”t want to deal with looks of pity or a million questions or people telling me how brave I am… all of it sounds horrible. I want no part of it.
My favorite picture is of a much younger Kisten and his brothers. Despite their younger ages, they all look hardened by life, but the affection between the three men is obvious. I eat up all the stories he tells me about his chosen family. It hurts my heart to think about how he met Matthew. I don”t know the man, but I”m grateful he gave Kisten a home and a way to escape the streets.
”I”ve got a meeting with my team in an hour. Why don”t I show you around before I go?”
”I want to go with you,” I say, trying to hide my anxiety at being parted.
He sighs. ”I would rather you stay here and relax. You can use your new art supplies and rest. You”ve been through a lot in the last several days.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, his fingers trailing down my jaw tenderly.
”I don”t want to hide away. I want to help,” I say stubbornly.
He looks resigned like he knew that would be my answer. ”Fine. You can go, but you do what I say and stay beside me the whole time. Most of the people in the organization are criminals. They have a slightly less fucked moral compass and view trafficking women as despicable.”
I quickly agree, considering the whole point of me going is that I don”t want to be parted from him in the first place. Besides, I”ll be able to answer questions about Mecca and give them insight only I know. I”m going to make myself so invaluable that he won”t ever want to leave me behind.