Chapter 18
I watch Kisten walk away,that familiar pang filling my chest whenever he leaves me, even though I know he”s right down the hall and will return in a minute. I”m such a ridiculous mess. He”s going to get sick of my neediness. I should”ve just thanked him for giving me such a beautiful room and let him go. Instead, I had to be a whiny bitch about wanting to be in his bedroom… in his bed.
I let out a sigh, running my hands through my hair in frustration with myself. Even though he”s getting me pajamas, I walk to his dresser and open drawers until I find one with neatly folded t-shirts. The one on top is a well-worn Pink Floyd shirt. The logo is faded, and the shirt is soft and thin from being washed a lot. It”s obviously a favorite of his since it”s on top and so worn. I pick it up and hold it to my nose, taking in his scent. Somehow, the shirt still smells like him underneath the laundry detergent smell. I hesitate momentarily before I strip out of my clothes and pull on his shirt.
Kisten”s footsteps in the hallway send my nerves jumping to attention. What if he gets mad that I went through his things? He told me to make myself comfortable here and didn”t seem to mind me looking at all his personal things on top of his dresser. However, digging through his drawers and stealing a t-shirt might be too invasive, especially when he went to get clothes for me.
I pick up my discarded clothes and rush into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I bang my head on the door in frustration. I”m such a moron. Why didn”t I wait for my pajamas? Why would I ever think wearing his clothes without permission was a good idea?
Oh yeah, I didn”t think so. My obsessive instinct drove me to want to wear his clothes. Now I have to either put my dirty clothes back on and hide his shirt in the empty hamper or walk out there wearing his shirt, letting him see how crazy I am.
Ugh.
My hands are on the bottom hem of the t-shirt when Kisten knocks on the bathroom door, making me jump. ”Are you okay in there?” he asks, sounding worried.
”Yes!” I say, wincing at how shrill my voice sounds.
”Willow, open the door,” he orders.
I bite my lip, wondering if I can change my clothes quicker than he can let himself into the bathroom. Considering I didn”t lock the door and jumped several feet away when he spoke, I highly doubt it. I”m totally screwed.
“I’m okay… just… uh…” I look around the bathroom, desperately trying to figure out what I could be doing. My brain doesn”t even hit the most obvious one… using the toilet. How hard would it have been to say I”m relieving myself, and I”ll be out in a minute? Instead, my mind is whirling in a panic, looking for something I can use to distract him.
Before I can figure something out, the door handle turns, and Kisten”s worried face appears. He looks me up and down, worry becoming heated when he sees me in his shirt. Even though it”s huge on me, nearly hitting my knees, and loose enough that it falls off one shoulder, he”s looking at me like I”m his next meal.
All the worry I had about how he would feel seeing me in his shirt is alleviated because he looks like he”s moments away from ripping it off my body in a fit of passion before fucking me senseless.
Can”t say I”d be disappointed by that. In fact, my newly awakened body is crying out for him. I want to feel his huge cock inside me. I know it”s huge just from rubbing against him. My feet slowly carry me towards him without my permission. I”m on autopilot when I wrap my hands around the back of his neck and pull his mouth down to mine. He”s frozen at first, but when I gently bite his bottom lip, he lets out a low growl and takes over.
His lips are hungry on mine. His tongue plunges into my mouth, stroking mine in an erotic dance that has my pussy flooding with desire. I can feel my arousal dripping down my thighs. I”m cursing at the fact that I took my panties off. They were soaked from my orgasm and uncomfortable, so I took them off without a thought. Without that barrier, nothing is stopping the wetness from spreading. It”s embarrassing. I”ve never been wet like this before. Even when he helped me masturbate in the tub or when I came on his lap, I wasn”t this wet.
Without breaking the kiss, he picks me up with his strong hands on my ass. I wrap my legs around him, moaning at the feel of rough denim against my bare pussy. He carries me to the bed, laying me down with him on top of me. I”m wrapped around him as close as I can be. I tug his shirt until he gets the hint and takes it off. His chest is a work of art. Tattoos cover nearly every inch of tanned skin, he”s got a dusting of chest hair that adds to his overall appeal, and his muscles are ridiculous. His body is a work of art that I could spend forever exploring and never tire of it.
I move my hands over his body hungrily, wanting to touch every inch before he comes to his senses and puts a stop to this. When he finally breaks the kiss, I”m prepared for him to back away and slow things down, but he doesn”t. Instead, he pulls the t-shirt over my head, leaving me naked underneath him. His low groan and the twitch of his thick cock against my pussy is the best compliment a girl could ask for.
Who needs to be told they are beautiful when words can be casually thrown around with no meaning behind them when actions speak so much louder. The way his eyes trail over my body, lingering on my breasts, drives my need for him higher. I rock my hips, rubbing my soaked pussy against his jean-clad cock. It feels good, but it isn”t what I want.
I move my hands down his chest towards his jeans. My hands are nearly there when his lips encircle my nipple, and he lashes it with his tongue. I moan at the delicious sensation. His tongue is hot and wet as it slides along my sensitive tip. He sucks it with just the right amount of pressure to drive me crazy. Memories of other men and how harshly they treated me try to encroach on my mind, and I shove them back, locking them away. They have no place here with me and Kisten.
He moves to my other breast, kissing a line from one nipple to the other on his way. He gives it the same attention as the first. My core aches with how needy I am. I want to feel him inside me more than I want my next breath. I quickly unbuckle his belt and get his pants open. I reach inside and grip his cock through his underwear. He”s hot and thick in my hand. He grunts around my nipple, sucking harder. I arch into his mouth, loving every second of his mouth on me.
I rub and squeeze his cock, annoyed with the clothes in my way. I try to push his underwear and pants down his hips, but I can”t reach with him pinning me to the bed with his body. I let out a frustrated sound and grab ahold of his hair, pulling his mouth away from my breast even though it”s the last thing I want. He lets me guide him up to my lips for a deep kiss.
I release his hair and reach down to push his pants lower. I can”t get them all the way down, but enough for his cock to spring free. I wrap my hand around him and give his cock a long slow stroke. He”s even bigger than I imagined. Thick and long. I can feel the veins pulsing under the silky skin. I”m disappointed that I can”t see him. I”ve never seen a dick that I actually wanted to touch and taste, and now that I have Kisten”s in my hand, I very much want to see and taste him.
But what I want most is to feel him inside me, stretching me to my limits. I want him to fill me until there”s no separating us. I wrap my legs around him and tilt my hips so his cock slides along my slit. I”m so wet and slippery that there”s zero resistance, only the sexy glide of his hardness against my softness.
Kisten breaks our kiss and pulls back to look down at me. I can see the conflict in his eyes. He wants me badly but thinks he shouldn”t. I understand why. It”s reasonable to think giving me time is what is right or what I need, but I don”t. I had six years of my life stolen, and I refuse to have any more of my life pass me by. I want to live life to its fullest. That includes enjoying the way Kisten makes me feel.
”Willow—” he starts, but I cover his mouth with my palm.
”Don”t. I know what you”re going to say, but you”re wrong. I want this with you. I want to reclaim my body. Help me reclaim my body,” I plead with my words and eyes.
He closes his eyes and rests his forehead on mine. I keep my legs wrapped around him in case he gets the idea in his head to move. As I wait for his decision, I trail my hands up and down his back in a reassuring motion. I”m going to be crushed if he turns me down. I”m already mentally preparing myself for disappointment, so I”m surprised when he shifts his hips, sliding his cock through my slit and over my clit. I gasp at how amazing it feels.
He palms my breast, teasing my nipple with his thumb while he moves between my thighs. His cock slides through my folds, rubbing my sensitive clit in the most maddening way. I rock my body with his movements until we are both breathing heavily.
”Look at me, beauty,” Kisten says roughly.
I didn”t realize I had closed my eyes. When I open them, I”m met with his hungry gaze. The way he”s looking at me is so intense. It”s like he”s trying to see into my very soul. It”s his, along with my heart. It”s fast and insane, but Kisten owns me in a way that has nothing to do with the money he used to buy me. I”m his wholeheartedly. Everything I am and everything I will ever be is his. I can only hope he wants to accept what I”m enthusiastically giving him.
”Are you sure?” he asks.
”Please, Kisten. Make love to me.”
A shiver runs through him at my words. I worry I said the wrong thing because he pulls away, but that worry is erased when I feel the tip of his cock notch at my entrance. He slowly inches his way inside me, stretching me. He doesn”t take his eyes off me the entire time he enters me. It”s intimate and a little overwhelming to see the same fire and need burning in his eyes that”s reflected in mine.
Finally, after endless seconds, minutes, hours, he”s buried to the hilt. His pelvis against mine adding delicious pressure to my clit. My pussy clamps down on his cock, causing us both to moan. He feels so good. Better than I ever thought possible. The weight of his body over mine, the feel of him inside me, and the look in his eyes as he takes me in is unlike anything I”ve ever experienced or will experience in the future. No other man can ever measure up to Kisten.
”You”re so fucking tight and wet. Fucking heaven, beauty. I could stay buried inside your sweet pussy forever, and it wouldn”t be enough,” he confesses in a guttural voice.
”I”ve never… I—” I try to come up with something to say in response, but nothing comes out. I”m overwhelmed with my body”s response to him and my emotions. It”s a chaotic storm inside me that I don”t want to be tempered.
He leans in and kisses me instead of letting me flounder to find the right words. I pour everything into our kiss, telling him everything I feel without words because I don”t have them to say right now. Maybe later, when I”m not so overwhelmed, I will be able to put words to my emotions, but right now, I”m only able to feel.
Our kiss grows deeper and less controlled until I”m dying from need. I writhe beneath him, desperate for friction. His thick presence inside me is no longer enough by itself. I need him to move.
”Please,” I gasp against his lips.
He slowly pulls back, leaving my body one inch at a time until I”m empty and even more desperate. He pauses for a long minute, those dark eyes boring into mine again. Then he”s moving. Each thrust is a calculated movement, slow and purposeful. It feels incredible, but I want more. He”s holding back, and that”s the last thing I want him to do with me. I don”t want him to treat me like I”m fragile. I want him to give me everything he is.
”Don”t hold back…” I don”t recognize my own voice. I”ve never sounded so needy in my life. If I wasn”t feeling so out of control, I might be embarrassed, but as it is, all I want is more.
He closes his eyes and groans. ”I don”t want to hurt you.”
I almost laugh. Considering the things that have been done to me, there is nothing he could do that would hurt me worse than what I”ve already experienced. I fall even deeper for him and his concern. He”s on edge, and still, he”s putting me first. If that isn”t proof that he”s a good man, nothing will ever prove it.
”You won”t… Please, Kisten. Don”t hold back. I want you… all of you.”
”What if I scare you?” he says, voicing his real concern.
My heart cracks right down the middle. I cup his cheek and lean up to brush my lips against his. ”You won”t scare me. I trust you with all of me. Now trust me and let go.”
I see the switch flip when he accepts my words as truth. He pulls out so just the fat head of his cock is wedged inside me. He pauses, looking at me, giving me one more chance to take it back. He offered me slow and sweet and is prepared to follow through on that even if that”s not who he is. I don”t stop him. I rock my hips up, making him sink a little deeper. That”s all it takes for him to plunge back inside me in one fast stroke.
He lets out a low growl, hooks one of my legs around his arm, changing the angle, and drives into me hard and fast. Every thrust has his cock stroking over my g-spot before he hits the end of me. Over and over, he gives me the maddening pleasure of stroking my g-spot and the twinge of pain at hitting the end of me.
I dig my nails into his biceps, and he attacks my mouth with a furious passion. I”m in sensation overload. My pussy clenches around him as I get closer to the edge. I”m making noises that I didn”t even know I was capable of. When he reaches between us and pinches my clit, I detonate. The pleasure is so overwhelming that I can”t contain it. He doesn”t stop fucking me as my orgasm wrecks me. Wave after wave of pleasure claims me, building higher until it”s a tsunami consuming my entire being.
I feel adrift and out of control. I”m just a vessel for pleasure. Both mine and his. I bite his shoulder, desperate to feel grounded again. The second I sink my teeth into him, he roars out his own orgasm. His cock jerks inside me, filling me until I”m so full I can feel it dripping past his cock and down my ass.
I collapse onto the bed, my body still shuddering from pleasure. Kisten”s still hard inside me. I love how he feels even though I”m so sensitive that every twitch of his cock sends another shudder through me. He starts to pull away and I whimper. I somehow find the strength to wrap my arms and legs around him, not letting him move. I can”t bear it. Not yet.
He doesn”t protest, once again understanding without words what I need. He deftly rolls us so that I”m on top with his cock still buried inside me. I relax on his chest. My ear over his pounding heart. His strong arms wrap around me, holding me closer than ever. Tears fill my eyes, but I blink them back. I don”t want to ruin this moment with tears. Not even happy ones. It doesn”t take long for me to fall into the most peaceful sleep I”ve ever had. My mind is completely silent, and my heart is full. No nightmares or worries can penetrate the bubble that surrounds us right now.
My last thought before sleep claims me is how utterly and completely in love I am with Kisten. I should be scared, but I”m not. I know that Kisten will keep me safe, including my tender heart.