6. Montana
six
Montana
Dickface: I can’t believe you won’t give us a second chance since we have so much history together. Please Monti, will you consider it?
Me: Do you have a time machine?
Dickface: I can’t believe you won't let this go.
Me: Aca-Believe it, I have a song I dedicated to you.
Dickface: Oh really? I miss you.
Me: 10 things I Hate About You by Leah Kate.
Dickface: what do I have to do to get you back.
Me: You can’t.
“Eight, the dumbest guy I dated. Seven, talk a big game ‘till you’re naked. Only six seconds and I had to fake it. Five, you’re toxic. Four, I can't trust you…” I’m singing 10 Things I Hate About You by Leah Kate while running in the park.
I spot Autumn, and I slow down to talk to her while she walks. Autumn has long straight black hair and perfect eyebrows. She’s tall, around five-foot-six, has curves for days, and olive skin where she looks tan all year long. She also has the longest lashes, and her blue eyes are gorgeous.
Ugh, her brother's eyes are gorgeous too . Damn, girl, chill .
“Hey girl, how you doin’?” I try to do my best Joey Tribbiani impersonation and we both laugh.
She sighs and says, “I’m okay, I just have terrible anxiety thinking about going to the campus.”
“I understand, but college is so different from high school. Those were little boys, these are men. There are some catty girls but for the most part it's not so bad,” I try to reassure her.
“Well, on the bright side, now you have me.” I smile and bump my shoulder with hers.
“I’m serious, I don’t know what will happen between me and your brother, but we will be friends, unless you stab me in the back like my so-called ex best friend.” I sigh, then continue, “I’m sorry. It’s hard when your best friends with someone for so long and she stabs you in the back. I think what hurts worse than my ex cheating on me, is that it was with her.”
“Look, I know you don’t know me or my brother very well, but my brother will treat you like a queen. He saw my parents in the limelight, and they never faltered or cheated on each other. Of course, it was hard during hockey season, but there were more times than not that we got to go to some of his away games. Give him a chance, he won't disappoint you. If he does, my mom will whoop his ass,” she says with a smirk.
“He said we can take it slow and get to know each other. I want to give him a chance, I’m just so scared. I don’t think my heart could take another hit. What if I do, and he stomps on it? I feel that a love like that could be epic, but what if I get hurt again?” I ask, not realizing we’ve stopped.
She grabs my hand, and looks me in my eyes and says, “What if you were made for him, and he was made for you? What if this is it? What if it's meant to be?”
I want to laugh so hard. “Quoting Kane Brown and Lauren Alaina, I see?”
She giggles and says, “And? They are right! So, take it as slow as you want. But just to let you know, once my brother told my mom and I about you, I knew he wouldn’t let you go til you tell him to leave you alone. So, please don’t hurt him, I promise he won't hurt you.”
I smile at her. “I’ll start with being friends, then see where it goes. I’m just really scared.” We walk in silence for a moment.
“Anyway, let's talk about something else. I know this is weird, but would you want to have a sleepover tonight?” I ask with a big grin.
“Really?” She's looking at me like I have ten heads.
“Yes, really! Come on, it'll be fun,” I say, looking at her with puppy dog eyes.
“Yes! Okay, let’s do it,” she agrees.
Blasting music from the playlist I made after the breakup has been therapeutic. I’m cleaning up my apartment wearing one of the football shirts I stole from Talon. I love my apartment. I have windows that overlook the Minneapolis Riverwalk and I love the calm feeling my home brings me.
Lighting my coconut and palm candle after cleaning up makes my house feel so much better. I just love how candles make your house feel so homey. I keep these ones stocked up. I need to put myself on a book and candle buying ban. But who are we kidding? Death by Tbr.
Looking around, I’m satisfied with everything I have to make this place a home. My style is more bohemian. I love plants, pillows, and fluffy blankets. My favorite thing, though, is my couch. It's so fluffy, comfortable, and big enough to also be a bed. It's one of those that you can put together in different ways and feels like you’re lying on a cloud.
I order Thai food for us because it’s one of my favorites. I’ve got many of different snacks and movies for our sleepover tonight including reruns of Laguna Beach . That show is one of my favorites. I also have a few movies for us to choose from.
After I finish cleaning and dancing around the apartment, the doorbell rings.
I open the door, thinking it's our Thai food but I see my cousin, Talon, standing there.
“Hey, cuz, what’s up!” he says as he walks right into my house. He notices that I have some goodies out and he goes for them.
“Aht aht! Don’t touch it, Tal, those are for my sleepover tonight,” I say.
“With whom, Montana?” he asks like the big brother I never asked for.
“Autumn, dad. She’ll be here any minute, so byeeee .” I try to get him back out the house.
“Are you seriously trying to kick out your favorite cousin?” he asks with his hand to his heart like I just wounded him.
“Talon, you’re the only cousin that hangs around, what do you mean?” I say as I laugh at his dramatics as he lays on the couch.
And they call ME a drama queen? I roll my eyes, sitting with him, we start talking.
“Montana, when are you going to put the pictures of you and your parents on the walls?” he asks thoughtfully.
“I, um, I'm still not ready, Tal.” I whisper.
“Okay,” he says, nodding in understanding. I know he means well, but he also doesn't want to push me.
I clear my throat because it feels like I have a rock stuck in there but ask a question that’s been on my mind.
“I have a question for you. You know Rocky better than I do at this point, would you say he’s a good guy?” I ask while looking at anything other than him.
“He’s a great guy, I wouldn't be opposed to y’all being together. If he treats you right, and you’re happy, I won't threaten to beat his ass or blackball him from the NFL,” Talon teases me.
“Tal, he still doesn’t know about me. I don’t plan on telling him…yet.” I sigh, and add, “It’s not that I don’t trust him—” I get cut off with a knock on the door.
Opening the door, I see it's Autumn and Rocky. She smiles at me and gives me a hug.
“Hey, girl! Hi, Savage,” I greet both of them.
“Hey, Killer,” he says with a shit eating grin.
God, this man is wearing gray sweatpants with a white fitted t-shirt and a backwards black Supreme hat. Fuck me, he looks so damn good.
Autumn just smirks at me, and I roll my eyes. I swear if I took a shot for every time I rolled my eyes when I’m around other people, I would be black out drunk.
“Hey, Talon, what's good, man?” Rocky says.
Talon and him do this bro handshake, hug thing, and Autumn and I giggle at the sight.
“Uhm, Montana, can I talk to you for a minute?” Rocky asks.
“Sure, we can go to my room and talk. Be right back, make yourself at home like Shrek has over there,” I say to Autumn.
“ No funny business ,” Talon yells out.
I groan and yell back, “Shut up.”
The big oaf laughs at me and Rocky chuckles behind me.
We get to my room, and he looks around. My bed is in the middle of the room but between the windows that take over the back wall. I have glass windows that overlook the riverwalk. There are vine plants hanging all around my space and some others around in different pots. Like I said, I love plants.
There are so many pillows on my bed because who doesn’t like a billion pillows on the bed?
Serial killers, that’s who.
My room still follows the bohemian theme. I love olive green, terracotta, beige, and black colors. It's so calming to come home to a serene space. I prefer minimalism and don't have a lot of things. I also have a designated area for reading and working on my designs. I create fake book covers for imaginary books as well as for books that I love.
“Whoa, Killer. You have so many pillows, but this is really nice. It feels like a home, and not just an apartment that a college girl is renting,” he says while eyeing me.
See, now I’m scared, serial killer. I laugh a little at that thought.
“I love these windows, and the reading area for all your dirty girl books.” He grins.
His grin broadens, and I blush. “Yeah, it's mine. It’s home, and what can I say I love reading books? But I have more than just smut books. Riley Sager is another author I enjoy reading and his books are more thrillers.” I shrug trying to play it off like he’s not affecting me.
Not getting into details that my family owns this building, and some players actually live up in the penthouses on the top four floors. I didn’t want that, I just needed something small and beautiful for myself.
“Well, I wanted to talk to you about your bucket-slash-fuck it list.”
“What about it?” I tilt my head to the side because I’m trying to get a read on him.
“Can I see it?” he asks shyly.
“Umm, sure…one sec,” I say, and go to grab it from my bag. I watch as he holds it in his hand before he starts reading it out loud.
“One. Get a tattoo.”
“Two. Go on a candlelight trolly ghost tour.”
“Three. Go to Disneyland.
“Four. Have sex in a random place.”
I swear he gives me the side eye with that one.
“Five, Go to a Viking’s game.”
“Six. Fall in love with someone who loves me back wholeheartedly.”
“Seven. Find my mom's college best friend.”
“Eight. Kiss someone in a bar. Wow, Killer. This is quite the list. I’ll help you with these, if you want?” he says with a smirk on his face.
“Oh my god, kill me now. Where are the Men in Black when you need them to erase someone’s memory?” I groan. I’m totally mortified, hiding my face in between my hands.
He pulls my hands away from my face and lifts my chin, so he is looking in my eyes and says, “Baby, you have nothing to be ashamed of. If I have it my way, every one of these things will be done with me.”
If I could turn as red as a tomato, I would. He brings out this whole new side of me. Something Dylan never did.
We’re staring into each other’s eyes. He is so damn sexy. And then he says something I’m not expecting.
“Fuck it.”
Suddenly his lips crash onto mine, and he kisses me like a man possessed. His lips are so soft, and I taste his mint ChapStick. When he swipes his tongue along my bottom lip, I give him access we both so desperately want. He’s kissing me like I have never been kissed before. The kiss is frantic like I’ll disappear at the drop of a hat. But then it turns passionate like his lips have always meant to be on mine.
He grabs my ass, and I moan into his mouth. I clench my thighs together because I want more, no I need that friction because it's been so damn long.
I pull away, remembering his sister and my cousin are in the other room.
“That was—” he starts to say.
“Amazing,” I finish his sentence and then mumble, “So much for going slow.”
“More than amazing, I want to keep kissing you, but I know you’re having a sleepover.” He smiles down at me while rubbing my bottom lip with his thumb.
“Montana! The food you ordered is here.” I hear Talon yell, breaking us out of our daze.
“Well, I better get going and leave you and my sister to it, even though I’d rather stay,” he says, looking at me all cute and shit with that boyish grin.
“Nope. It’s girls’ night. Maybe if you play your cards right, we can have our own one of these days. Maybe,” I say as I walk away, knowing if I don’t walk away now, I’ll never leave this room.
I put a little more sway in my hips and look back at him over my shoulder, tossing a wink at him. He smacks my butt groaning in the process. My god, I thought reading about the groan was sexier than actually hearing it but let me tell you…it’s not. It made me wet, well, more than I already was.
Autumn is one badass woman. She’s been through some shit that I can definitely relate to. Our conversation moved to why she suffers from body dysmorphia. I can understand what she’s saying because I know how it feels to hate your own skin.
She loves baking like me and wants to own her own bakery. She showed me some of her cake and cupcake designs and they are beautiful. She's taking business classes so she can start her own business. I’m so excited to see what she does with her baking. I know it’ll be a hit and I can't wait to be her taste tester.
I started talking to my therapist again, and he’s really helped me in a lot of ways. Losing my parents in the middle of college didn’t help me either. I have always been a bigger girl, but I had gotten into working out with Dylan when we were in high school, and I became the Montana I wanted to be.
I lost myself this last year, and now, I want to work harder to be better for myself and be the daughter my parents would have been proud of. That starts with not dwelling on people who don’t deserve to sit with me at my table. I know I deserve better than someone who doesn’t love me, who would rip your heart out and not even give a fuck.
“So, you and Talon are close?” she asks while picking at her Pad Thai.
“Yeah, he’s like a little big brother to me. He doesn’t have any siblings, so it was me and him mostly,” I reply.
“He’s very handsome and seems sweet. I bet he has so many girls all over him,” she says with a sigh.
“Actually, he isn’t as much of a fuckboy as he looks.”
“Hmm.”
“Autumn, what’s on your mind?”
She sighs. “Well, honestly, I want to lose a little bit more weight, not for anything or anyone else, but as a goal I made for myself. But I want to do it by my twenty-first birthday.”
“When is your birthday?”
“Halloween.”
“What?! My favorite holiday! We can do it. I’ll help you.”
“Really, you don’t mind?”
“Hell no. One thing Dylan was good at was showing me different ways to help lose weight and strengthen my body. In turn, it helped with my mental health too. Let’s do the damn thing.” I grin.
We set a plan in motion for her. In my opinion, she doesn’t need to lose any weight, but if it makes her happy that’s all that matters. It will help her mentally too, because she needs to know that no matter what the scale says, she is perfect.