Chapter Twenty-Four
“O h my God, what a fucking idiot,” Tessa said around her mouthful of chocolate chip cookie. Skathi was nearly a week past due and had been having Braxton Hicks contractions all day, and her way of dealing with the stress of it was to bake. And Tessa was happily devouring them as fast as she could put them in her mouth.
Liz chomped down on her own cookie, careful to not get the ooey gooey chocolate on her cream silk blouse.
She’d gotten up that morning, and noticed Trouble had already left. She was equal parts relieved and disappointed, and she refused to even think about that disappointed part. Instead of thinking much of anything, since she’d already spent most of the night tossing and turning and thinking about what Trouble had revealed, she’d gotten Erika ready for school and out the door, waved to Toke and Slick, her escorts for the day, and then headed to the clubhouse after dropping Erika off at school. Toke remained behind at the school to watch the building and be on guard for Russians, and Slick followed Liz to the clubhouse on his bike. Last she saw him, he was playing pool with Ringmaster, one brother Liz had yet to actually meet. He spent most of his time at the club-owned tattoo parlor, which made sense because there wasn’t a single patch of skin on his body that wasn’t inked.
“Who’s an idiot?” Fae asked as she plopped onto the couch beside Tessa. When she reached out to grab a cookie, Tessa slapped her hand. “Hey! I thought she made those for everyone.”
Tessa growled. “No, those are mine. I asked for double chocolate cherry, and she made them, just for me.” She pointed to the platter with double chocolate mocha cookies, from which Liz had been snacking. “You can have those.”
Fae rolled her eyes. “Sheesh, you’re so freaking territorial. You’d think the cookies were made from Fang or something.” She grabbed a mocha cookie and took a bite, ignoring Tessa’s glower. “So who’s the idiot?” She glanced between Tessa and Liz, her whiskey eyes curious.
Tessa’s sapphire-eyed gaze snapped to Liz, silently prodding her.
Liz sighed, finished her cookie, and said, “Trouble.”
Fae gasped, her eyes widening and all doll like. She was adorable—it was no wonder massive, brooding Hawk fell for her. “What did Trouble do?”
With only a moment’s hesitation—in order to take a gulp of her black coffee—Liz spilled everything for the second time that morning.
Earlier that day, she’d come to the clubhouse, hoping one of the brothers came in shot or stabbed or dying of some STI, so she wouldn’t have to think about everything she learned the night before. No such luck, though. The morning was quiet, and after she did the inventory for the tenth time that week, she gave up. Hoping that Trouble had business outside of the club, she made her way into the common room, thankful it was mostly empty. Then Tessa blew in, looking for her. Apparently, Skathi was having contractions but was refusing to go to the hospital, so Tessa made a deal with her—she’d grab Liz, she’d do an exam, and ease everyone’s fears. Tessa, acting as Liz’s security and chauffeur, drove Liz to Skathi’s house, which wasn’t all that far from the clubhouse, and Liz performed an exam. No baby yet. Just Braxton Hicks. So Skathi, after kicking a hovering Odin out of the house, baked a bakery’s worth of cookies to keep her mind busy.
And there they were. Skathi was napping after a marathon baking session, and Tessa and Liz—and now Fae, were enjoying the spoils.
Fae glared, growling. “He’s definitely a fucking idiot,” she agreed vehemently, making Liz chuckle at the tiny woman’s big attitude. “All he had to do was stop you, ask you about the letter, and none of the last ten years would have happened.”
“Yeah, and Amelia wouldn’t be walking around, acting like the motherfucking queen of the club all the damn time,” Tessa said, her words scathing. The woman hated Amelia on principle, and it didn’t help that Tessa was protective of Liz, and she saw all the shit Trouble and Amelia did to poke at her.
“But he did, and she does, so there’s nothing to do about it now,” Liz said, downing the last of her now cold coffee.
“Fuck that,” Tessa effused. “I heard from Daisy that Slick and Dragon have been looking for Amelia, but she’s supposedly visiting her mother in Carson City—like that cum slut has a human mother. Aren’t her kind hatched from eggs made from sticky socks, or some shit like that?”
Fae snorted, laughing, and Liz couldn’t help but do the same.
Tessa nodded sagely. “I bet, if you looked in her whore-drobe, you’d see the skins of the men she’s sucked dry hanging there next to her booty shorts and nipple pasties.”
“You’re nuts, woman,” Liz remarked, chuckling.
“I’m just pissed that the bitch talked shit about my gorgeous niece. Erika is the shit, anyone who calls her a brat needs to have her tits removed with a rusty chainsaw.”
“Yeesh, Tessa, calm down,” Fae advised, reaching out for another mocha cookie. “Damn, these are good.” Liz and Tessa nodded, grinning. “How’s Skathi doing? Odin told Hawk about the contractions, and Hawk told me, and I figured I’d come and check on her. I’m glad you’re here, Dr. Liz. I bet she feels good having you here.”
Liz smile softly at the sweet woman.
“I did an exam, listened to the baby’s heartbeat—mama and baby are fine. Braxton Hicks are totally normal for forty weeks. Of course, she knows she could go at any time, but this time around, baby was just practicing.”
Tessa hummed. “I’d be scared shitless.” Fae nodded in agreement, her eyes wide. “Fang wants a soccer team of babies, and I want to give them to him, but we’re not ready yet. We’re working on getting the house livable, he’s dealing with his asshole brother, and I just want to have as much headboard breaking sex as I can before I have to share my body with an energy leech.”
Liz chuckled, ignoring Tessa’s comment about headboard breaking sex. Liz hadn’t had sex in nearly three years—and the motherfucker she’d had sex with was Lyle Pace, the piece of shit who got her mixed up with the goddamn Bratva. Thankfully, she’d kicked his ass to the curb, unfortunately, she hadn’t listened to the alarms blaring in her brain when she’d agreed to go into business with him.
“What’s Fang’s asshole brother doing?” Fae asked, not having gone off into her own thoughts as Liz had.
Tessa shook her head. “Most of it is club business, so I’m not privy to it—not that I care, but from what I’ve overheard during their conversations, Jorge is taking care of some kid he ‘rescued’ last year.”
Liz furrowed her brow, confused by Tessa’s wording. “Rescued?”
“I don’t know what happened. All I know is there was a girl in trouble, Jorge got to her before the Mendoza’s could, and he’s keeping her in Columbia so the bad guys don’t get her.”
Fae cocked her head. “Well…that’s nice of him.”
Tessa snorted. “Right. Jorge Calderone only does things that benefit him. Fang is just trying to figure out Jorge’s angle.” She shrugged. “As long as the asshole is treating the girl right, isn’t trafficking her or getting her hooked on drugs, there’s nothing I can say.”
Liz hummed, then grunted when Fae asked, “So what’re you going to do? Trouble seems remorseful, right? He wants to be a good dad to Erika, and that’s more than a lot of single moms these days get.”
Tessa, who was raised by a single mom until her mom married herself to a child raping psycho, nodded. “That’s the fucking truth.”
Fae continued over Tessa’s comment, “I know he’s been an asshole, but…I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he watches you when you come in, when you walk through the room—yeah, he’s usually doing dirty stuff with Amelia, but his focus is always on you.”
Liz sneered. “Is that supposed to make me feel better; he’s fucking Amelia but, hey, at least he’s thinking about me while he’s nutting in her.”
Tessa curled her lips in disgust. “Fucking yuck,” she remarked, right before she shoved another cookie in her mouth.
Fae shrugged unrepentantly—Hawk, the asshole, was wearing off on the previously sweet Fae. “I’m just saying, Trouble was a piece of shit, pushing you away, hurting you, missing over nine years of Erika’s life…but…he did it for a good reason. And he broke his own heart, too.”
Sucking in a breath at the hammer Fae just dropped, Liz didn’t have time to reply.
Everyone jerked to their feet at a shout from the bedroom.
Liz was the first to move, hurrying to the massive master bedroom to find Skathi standing near the bed, a pool of water growing on the dark wood floor.
“The baby is coming, I think,” Skathi murmured, the usually cool and calm giantess was pale, her face slack with fear.
Immediately, Liz slipped into doctor mode. Grinning, she hurried to Skathi’s side, Tessa and Fae filing into the room behind her, gasping.
“Alright, mama,” Liz said softly, coaxingly. “Looks like you’re having a baby.”
“Call Odin,” Skathi pleaded, her breaths coming in pants.
“I’ll call him, Skye, don’t worry,” Tessa offered, her voice strained.
Twelve hours later—after settling the adorably anxious daddy, transporting Skathi to the hospital, with a full, roaring cavalcade biker escort, and handing her off to the OBs—ten pound, 22-inch-long Nielsen Stellan Vikander came screaming into the world. Mama and baby boy did amazingly, and Odin couldn’t look more enchanted by his chunky, pink-cheeked son.
As Skathi’s PCP, Odin wanted Liz to remain in the hospital with them, which meant Fae and Hawk had Erika duty. They’d left around 8PM to relieve Saint, a newly patched brother, who’d been playing board games with Erika since he’d picked her up from school. From what Liz knew about Saint, he was the youngest club brother at just barely twenty-one, but he was also, according to Tessa, one of the nicest guys Tessa had ever met. Liz had spent no time with the guy, because he never needed her services, but now she’d have to meet him officially, and thank him for taking care of her daughter.
Sitting in the private waiting room attached to the private hospital room, Liz flipped another page on her Kindle book, not absorbing a single word. Because Trouble was sitting in the chair directly across the small room from her. Staring at her.
The silence was broken when Trouble finally spoke, his deep voice resonating in the space between them, “You look beat, why are you still here? You need rest, baby.”
She stiffened at the endearment, trying to ignore the warmth that flooded her at his concern.
She didn’t bother looking up from the page. “I’m waiting to speak with Dr. Cross. I wanted to make sure all the T’s are crossed, and all the I’s are dotted, then I’ll head home.”
She could hear his heavy sigh. “I’m glad you were there for her; it probably scared the hell out of her. Skathi is a badass, but I’m guessin’ givin’ birth is hellava lot scarier than facin’ Hamas down range.”
It was Liz’s turn to sigh. Closing her Kindle app, she lifted her head and met Trouble’s gaze. He looked tired; his eyes were bloodshot, the dark bags beneath his eyes looked heavy, and his beard looked like he’d been rubbing at it all day. Not to mention all the long locks of golden hair coming loose from the low bun at his neck. The man looked like he’d been rode hard, put away wet, then someone set the shed on fire.
“It was pure luck that I was there, actually,” she remarked, shrugging. “I’m just glad I could help her.”
Trouble smiled softly, a warm affection filling his eyes. “You looked good holdin’ that baby, Skizzy. A natural.” Suddenly, the smile dropped right off his face. He swallowed, and Liz could feel the tension rising, and she knew why. “I should have been there, when Erika was born. I should have been standin’ by the bed, holdin’ your hand, watchin’ my little girl come into the world.” He squeezed his eyes closed, but not before Liz saw telltale glimmers there. He opened them again, and she felt the gut punch; sorrow and regret filled his gaze. “To not have seen her born, to not have seen you holdin’ her for the first time, not have held her in my arms that first time, to welcome her into the world, to tell her I loved her more than anythin’, and I would protect her with my very life…. That I wasn’t there kills me, Liz, kills me dead.” He got to his feet, his hands in fists at his sides. “And I know I only have myself to blame, baby, I know that. I just….” He sighed, stabbing his hand through his hair, making the whole thing come loose, his hair falling in loose waves over his shoulders and down over his chest.
Damn, the man was gorgeous, even in his anger…even in his despair.
Biting the inside of her cheek to keep from comforting him as her heart was telling her to do, she simply watched as he began to pace the floor. There wasn’t much room in there, so he came close to her on each pass, close enough for her to smell the sweat and desire of him. Close enough for her to see the way the muscles in his arms flexed and pulled at his swung them, or the way his ass bounced slightly as he walked by. She closed her eyes against the rush of longing, of desire to press her face against his chest and just breathe him in, to wrap her arms around him so he’d do the same, his strong arms tightening around her, holding her against the hardness of his abs, and then to brush her lips against his bearded jaw, to feel the wiry yet soft hairs against her face…and then to feel his warm, soft lips take hers, sip from hers….
Dammit! She really shouldn’t be reading vampire smut with him around.
Sucking in a deep breath, Liz rose to her feet, and reached out to touch Trouble’s shoulder. He halted immediately, his large body jolting as if she’d tased him.
He pinned her with wide, sharp eyes, a question there. Uncertainty. Wariness.
Weariness. He seemed exhausted, his great shoulders worn and abused from carrying a heavy weight for so long.
She stepped up to him, her hand sliding down from his shoulder to his chest, right over where his heart was pounding like a drum. The urge to comfort him was so strong now, she couldn’t just ignore it. He was hurting…and she knew a thing or two about hurt.
He sucked in a breath at her touch, making her body pulse with need—but she couldn’t go there with him, no matter how much her body wanted it. Nor her heart. Her head knew how illogical and dangerous it was to want Trouble, but the man was slowly chipping away at her walls; his open affection for Erika, his determination to be a good father, his dedication to his brotherhood, his strength and drive to protect her and Erika from the Russians…and now that she knew the truth about what really happened the night at Tipped, and why he’d done what he’d done…the anger she’d been feeling since they’d reunited was diminished.
…he did it for a good reason…he broke his own heart, too…. Fae’s words from earlier brushed against her thoughts.
Was she fighting a losing battle?
“Yeah,” she began, bringing herself back to their conversation, her mouth twisting in a wry smile, “that’s pretty shitty.”
He snorted, making her narrow her eyes at him.
“But what happened, happened, Trouble. Do I wish you could have been there when Erika was born? Yes, I do. Do I wish you’d been there to help me those first months when I was going out of my mind, bawling my eyes out every night because I was so fucking tired and out of my depth? Yes, I do, just so I could throat punch you…then make you take her for an hour so I could fucking shower. Do I wish you’d have been there for her first words, first steps, first day of preschool, first crush—” Trouble growled, and Liz rolled her eyes “—or her first A++ on her math test? Yes, to all of that.” She raised her other hand, placing it against his jaw, the beard scraped against her palm, making tingles break out on her arm.
She felt him tense at her touch, but then…he leaned into her touch, his eyes closing to almost slits, as though he was drawing on her for relief…for strength.
God, why did he have to show his vulnerabilities? He was a badass, for God’s sake! Didn’t that mean he should be a hard ass alpha-hole that grunted and spit fire? Why did Trouble have to be so goddamn squishy on the inside?
He’s always been like that , a voice that knew too much about their past murmured. Back when they’d first got together, Trouble had been Erik . He didn’t have the years of hard biker badassery to shape him yet. Back then, he was fresh from the Army, and still relearning civilian life. He’d been tough, rough around the edges, and an alpha to the nth degree, but he also kissed her softly, worshiped her slowly and thoroughly, cuddled with her, cared for her, and thought of her, texting multiple times a day, just to let her know she was in his thoughts.
And that’s what made his betrayal so fucking devastating. He’d taken something so precious, so rare, and he’d tainted it with his lies.
She dropped both her hands from his body, and took a step back. His eyes flashed with something like disappointment.
“But we can’t go back and change the past, Trouble, we can only figure out the now, and that means figuring out how you fit into our lives. You can be in her life now, Trouble. That means picking up when she calls, that means going to every parent-teacher conference, every school concert or play, and being there for special occasions.”
His eyes danced as he smirked. “I can do all of that, baby; I want to do all of that,” he declared. His hand cupped her face, his calloused thumb brushing over her cheek.
Heat blasted through her from a single swipe, and she pushed back the full body shudder his touch aroused.
Come on, brain, click on!
His smirk turned wicked, and his eyes grew hooded as if he knew what she was fighting.
“I want all of that with Erika, but make no mistake, baby, I plan to be so deep in your life, you can’t get me out. You won’t want to get me out.”
She opened her mouth to tell him to fuck right the fuck off, but he silenced her with a quick kiss. Startled, she slammed her mouth shut. Breathless, she couldn’t stop him from pressing another kiss against her lips, this one a little harder than the last, and the next kiss brushed against her cheek. This one was longer…as if he were absorbing the feeling of his lips against her flesh.
Finally, he pulled away, and Liz nearly tumbled into him, her legs almost giving out. She caught herself just in time, though, thankfully. There was no need for him to see how easily he affected her.
But he knew anyway, the shit-licker.
He chuckled, licking his lips. “My truth is out, there’s no more to tell about that night, and I know once you forgive me, we’ll do whatever it takes to make it work between us. I know it’s gonna take some work, but I am so goddamn tired of being without you, I will crawl to hell and back to make things right. We belong together, Skizzy. And I’m gonna make sure we have forever together.”