14. Mila
14
MILA
Something was different about my room.
Only, I couldn’t pinpoint what that was. And if something was different, it meant someone had been in here when I wasn’t.
I spent most of my days in their garden. It felt less like a prison that way, and at least I got some sun.
That was where I had gone after dinner, watching the stars and wondering if I could ever leave this place again. At least until a slight chill picked up and I decided to head back inside.
My heart felt heavy.
And I knew why.
I yearned to leave this house, yet—stupidly—I didn’t want to leave as well. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t constantly peering over my shoulder, afraid an attack might come for me and find me defenseless.
No one was coming for me. And there were guards on the property everywhere.
I ignored most of the guards patrolling around.
They weren’t here for my protection, but they were better than my father’s men.
They weren’t rowdy, and they were mostly silent, leaving me alone. As long as I stayed on the property, that was.
And when Silas or Maverick came to see me…
It wasn’t disgust or fear, but instead, a small tinge of happiness and excitement and even arousal.
Yesterday had been something else altogether.
The elusive second brother had finally made his appearance, and his presence was so much more profound than I remembered from the very few times I had seen him. Sometimes at night, when I thought of him, of that kiss, it felt like an intangible dream.
So much so that I’d almost convinced myself I had made the entire thing up in my head.
But last night when he came to me… I took a deep breath. He didn’t feel like a dream then. He seemed to suck up all the energy in the room simply by being in it, and I didn't know what to do with him there.
But when he asked me to touch myself again while he watched…
I should have fought him.
I hadn’t.
And now that I wasn’t under his influence, under his intense gaze… I didn’t know how to reason with myself about why I didn’t.
I came into my room and now I finally saw what was different.
A small pink box sat in the middle of my bed.
I watched it warily, poking at it with one finger, as if I was afraid that one wrong move from me would cause it to explode, killing me and everyone in the house.
It didn’t.
The wrapping was?—
Pretty.
I liked the slight glimmer in the pink that shone in the reflective light above. I even liked the red ribbon that held it together.
Whoever had left this for me had put a lot of thought into it. I didn’t know which brother this “present” was from or what it contained.
It wouldn’t be the first time I was fooled by a pretty package.
After a while, I left for the bathroom and got ready for the night.
It seemed like it was going to be just me again.
That was not disappointment settling heavily in my stomach from the thought.
It wasn’t.
My mind focused on the present while I brushed my teeth, as I washed my face, and even as I applied the moisturizer that Rachel had bought for me when I asked.
I stopped in front of the walk-in closet and looked back at the present once more before going into the closet to find something comfortable to wear for bed.
Silas still hadn’t given me back my underwear.
A part of me wanted to admit I had been jealous that day at the hostess blatantly flirting with him, even with me sitting right there.
But it felt like he would win somehow, and I wasn’t at the point where I wanted to show more vulnerable parts of myself to these monsters.
I found a black T-shirt and gray sweats.
I quickly changed and climbed into bed, grabbing the present when I could no longer avoid it.
My hands shook slightly as I unwrapped it, and I gasped when I finally saw what was inside.
Well, I didn’t have to guess anymore who’d sent the present, though this surprised—and embarrassed—me greatly.
I groaned and lifted the pink vibrator from the box.
It was pretty big, bigger than I imagined a vibrator to be. I pressed the button to turn it on, and for a moment, nothing happened, and then the thing started to vibrate.
I screamed and threw it against the wall, but now that it was vibrating against the hard surface, the sound seemed to be ten times louder inside this quiet house.
I didn’t want anyone to hear, so I quickly jumped off the bed and shut it off. I put it back inside the box, pausing when I found something white at the bottom.
It was a note that read:
Think of me when you use it.
I scowled at it and shoved the box, along with the note, under my bed.
I was not going to use it. And if he thought I was going to think about him…
I turned off the light and climbed under the covers, pulling them over my head, closing my eyes, and trying to go to sleep.
Only five minutes in, and I found myself shifting positions on the bed, moving to my side, and looking out the window.
What the fuck were they doing to me?
If this was some psychological warfare they decided to wage against me…
Well, they were winning.
I rolled to my other side and stared at the wall. The window let in enough light that I could see the shadows from the outside world.
My eyes traced along the outline of a tree branch, trying to bring my focus and thoughts away from where they were currently heading.
Groaning in frustration, I sat up on the bed and looked around the empty room.
I had thought either Silas or Maverick would come by.
I had… hoped.
And even the thought was pissing me off.
I put off my wanting to see them as my own loneliness reflected onto me.
In some ways, this was worse than living at the club, because at least my leash had been longer. I was given some freedom to drive away from the clubhouse if I needed. It didn’t matter that my car had a GPS tracking device that my dad could access at any time.
It didn’t matter that he threatened to kill me if I ran away a second time.
It didn’t matter, because I was allowed to interact with other people. Not that I had friends, considering I had been an outcast at my high school after my date with Nicholas, when he went back to school and told everyone about the “creepy” relationship I had with my uncle.
Never mind the fact that I never wanted to have any sort of relationship with Sebastian, or that I had never told him about my date in the first place. I was still isolated as the rumors spread like wildfires.
This was much different. In this house, I was trapped.
The guards were stoic and feared the brothers, so they left me alone.
Rachel tried to talk to me, but I wasn’t ready to get close to a woman who could turn a blind eye to me being taken. I didn’t miss the affection in her eyes for the brothers, either.
She loved them, despite the fact they weren’t good men.
And here I was, craving the presence of two of them, and not being disgusted at the fact that the other one had left me a… present.
I was?—
I was confused.
Why couldn’t they be like my dad? Why couldn’t they be cruel outright, instead of holding me on a precipice of stupid hope that they might be different?
That this wasn’t all a beautiful, cruel lie?
That the softness I found in Maverick’s gaze could be real, or the affection in Silas’ touch could be true? Or Hell, even the fact that Killian had been absent, almost as if he was scared of— me .
I didn’t know what to think or feel.
I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.
Not until I did something about this restlessness in me.
The vibrator’s presence felt hot beneath the bed, as if calling to me.
I wasn’t thinking when I climbed off the bed and grabbed the box.
Nor was I thinking when I took the vibrator, feeling the hardness of it in my hand as I walked to the bathroom.
I avoided my reflection as I washed it off.
It looked new, and I didn’t think he would be cruel enough to give me a used one, but I didn’t want to use it on myself without cleaning it first.
I got back into bed, not bothering with the lights, and moved under the covers.
I looked up at the ceiling as I turned it on, and when I felt it vibrate against my palm, a tingle started to work its way up my legs.
I shifted on the bed and pulled the sweats off until they hung from one foot, and closed my eyes when I brought the vibrator against my pussy.
I gasped.
Fuck, but this was much more intense than it had been with my own hands.
My back arched and I felt myself getting wet, the arousal coating the inside of my thighs.
I shifted the vibrator up to my clit and couldn’t help the small moan that escaped my lips from the feel of it.
“Oh, God,” I said to the quiet room.
It wouldn’t take me long to come, I realized.
I tilted my head back on the pillow and spread my legs wide as I moved the vibrator up and down my slit.
My thoughts drifted, and I imagined Maverick was in bed with me, his head buried between my legs.
He would tell me how good I tasted, and how badly he’d missed the taste of me, even if it hadn’t been that long since he last ate me out.
My legs trembled.
And Silas entered my thoughts.
He was in bed with Maverick, his finger roughly playing with my nipples.
I used my other hand and moved them to my breast. I pinched my nipple, much the same way Silas had done before, twisting the hard nub against my thumb and pointer finger, tugging it.
I moaned out loud, unable to keep the noise in, and Killian appeared inside my fantasy, with his brothers.
He was stroking himself as he watched his brothers play with me with the same dark tint that entered his eyes when he watched me yesterday. That desire was blazingly apparent in this fantasy version of Killian.
“That’s it, baby. Are you close?” Fantasy Killian asked me.
So close.
I was so close.
“Do you want to taste me?” Fantasy Killian asked. “My brothers?”
My mouth watered. Fuck, did I want to taste them?
I did.
My legs twitched, and I pressed my foot on the mattress and pivoted my hips up. I imagined that was how it would move when one of them fucked me.
Fuck.
The vibrator moved back to my clit, and I held it there.
I shot off with a boom.
I might have screamed my release. I wasn’t sure.
Not with all the blood rushing to my ears.
I slid the vibrator away and turned it off when it started to become too much. I lay in the darkness of the room, hating the sudden silence that took over now that I’d had my release.
My chest heaved as I tried to get as much air into my lungs as possible.
I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I had expected to feel some regret.
Instead, I felt empty.
Not in a bad way, either.
I climbed off the bed and went back to the bathroom. My thoughts ran free, not really focusing on one thing over the other as I cleaned myself up and the vibrator.
I went back to bed and hid the vibrator under my pillow. Then I closed my eyes without a second thought.
If I shifted on the bed, I didn’t know.
I fell asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow, dreaming about something I didn’t care to remember.