18. Mila
18
MILA
By the time I woke up, Maverick was nowhere to be found. I hadn’t even heard him leave this morning.
A part of me was disappointed he wasn’t here. He never was when I woke up, even if I had spent the night with him.
Silas had been scarce since my first time with him. Had he not left me little notes that Rachel hand-delivered to me every morning, I would have thought he was abandoning me after he got what he wanted.
There was still a part of me that believed they would leave me, that they would eventually get bored with me, only now, my feelings about that had less to do with anger and mostly with heartbreak. If they’d wanted me to become completely dependent on them, they’d fucking succeeded.
I was, and I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if they ever grew bored with me.
I was so fucking stupid.
It was already afternoon when I finally left my room. I didn’t know how Maverick did it, getting out of bed so early when we had gone to sleep so late the night before. But, like his brothers, he seemed to function on very little sleep.
I walked down the stairs and was about to enter the kitchen when a large body came out of nowhere. I didn’t stop in time and bumped right into a hard chest.
Arms wrapped tightly around me, and I looked up to impassive brown eyes. I supposed impassive eyes were better than hostile ones.
I tried to pull away, but Killian tightened his arms around me. I shot him a questioning look, and one corner of his lips lifted in a small smile.
“Are you… are you smiling?” I asked, surprised.
He surprised me further when he chuckled. “Is it really strange, firecracker?”
I shook my head. “I’m used to you scowling. In fact, I thought you might have frowned so much as a child that your face got stuck like that.”
He rolled his eyes at me, but the amusement stayed. “Where are you going?”
I was about to answer him when my stomach did it for me. It grumbled loudly, and with the way I was pressed against him, I had no doubt he felt it.
He laughed, and I could feel heat in my cheeks. His chest was covered by a fitted black shirt.
Black was definitely his color.
“Come on. I’m hungry, too.”
“You are?” I asked suspiciously. He had been walking away from the kitchen.
“I am,” he answered, grabbing my hand. He led me to the kitchen where Rachel stood, prepping for dinner. She looked up when she heard us, her eyes moving down to where our hands were locked, a slow smile overtaking her face. I tried to break away, but Killian tightened his grip. I scowled at him. He winked at me.
What the hell was happening?
Since when did Killian Tiernan wink at anyone, much less at me? I had thought he was more likely to point a gun at me. I shook my head and let him drag out the kitchen barstool for me. He took the one next to me, sitting so closely that I could feel his heat radiating off him.
I jumped when our shoulders touched, and he shot me a strange look. I ignored him and turned to Rachel as she set out two plates of chicken salad. I smiled my thanks as I used the fork to spear the chicken, bringing it into my mouth. Now that I was spoiled by Rachel’s cooking, I didn’t know what I would do once I didn’t have it anymore.
I frowned.
Perhaps it was my insecurity convincing me that everything was only temporary, and once I finally got what I wanted all along—to be free—I would be a shell of the girl I once was.
I felt a small tugging of my hair. Killian had a lock of my hair in his grip. I frowned at him.
“Why make an expression like that?” he asked me.
“Like what?”
“Like you want to kill someone.”
I shot him another look I was sure he wouldn’t misinterpret. He grinned and took a forkful of the salad. My eyes drew to his mouth like a moth to flame, and a stupid part of me was thinking about kissing him again.
He groaned. “Don’t look at me like that, baby.”
He spoke softly, and Rachel was busy by the stove, so I doubt she was really paying any attention to us. Still, I didn’t want to risk being overheard.
I glared at him, and he tapped his index finger on the tip of my nose. The move was so soft, so affectionate, and so out of character, I reared back. I was sure he could see the confusion in my eyes. He ignored it and took another bite.
I shook my head. I had been hungry, still was, but sitting next to Killian made me feel out of sorts.
“Eat, baby,” he said close to my ear. “And if you’re having trouble, I’ll feed you myself.”
Had he lost his mind? His body shook beside me as he laughed, drawing Rachel’s attention. She was looking at him now as though she also thought he lost his mind.
I turned back to my meal and decided I was going to ignore the way he was confusing me. I had come out of my room for lunch, and that was all there was to it.
We ate in silence. I could feel his eyes on me every once in a while, the heat in them leaving goosebumps over my skin. I was in one of the dresses Maverick had bought for me. Almost everything he bought me were dresses. So even though this one wasn’t as revealing as the short black dress Maverick had dressed me in before, it was a summer dress, which meant it was thin. Sitting next to Killian, feeling his eyes rake over me, made the dress feel nearly nonexistent.
And that was never a good thing, not when it came to Killian.
I didn’t like feeling vulnerable with him. Not when I was questioning whether he still wanted to kill me.
How depressing.
Killian finished his meal before I did. I had hoped he would leave once he finished. No such luck. He stayed, only now there wasn’t something like eating to distract him from staring at me.
And he was. He was staring at me so intently, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
His eyes made me feel awkward, as if I was just learning how to eat with a fork for the first time. I nearly dropped it when he leaned closer and took a whiff of my hair.
“Fuck, you smell good,” he said, his voice gruff.
I didn’t say anything.
I bit the inside of my cheek.
He backed away after a moment, and when I turned my head to him, his eyes weren’t on me, but on Rachel. It seemed they were having some sort of silent conversation I wasn’t privy to.
But then I blinked, and Killian and Rachel were no longer looking at each other. I frowned, shoving in another bite and trying to finish my food as quickly as possible.
“Well, I think I’m going to go grocery shopping. Does anyone need anything while I’m there?” Rachel asked.
“Didn’t you go yesterday?” I asked her.
I was sure she had, considering she asked me the same question.
Rachel blushed and let out a small, nervous titter. “So I did. I forgot some things there.”
I eyed her dubiously. That probably made sense, but it felt like there was something more.
“Well, I’m gonna head out. Just leave the dishes in the sink, and I’ll take care of them when I return.”
And she was out of there before I could say anything. I frowned at her retreating form. Killian brought me back when he leaned close and said, “Eat, baby.”
Right.
I ate my food, and Killian continued to be a silent presence beside me.
He didn’t move until I swallowed the last bite.
“All done?” he asked. I nodded and took a sip of my water, trying to wash down some of the food in my mouth. “Perfect.”
He stood up, collected my plate with his, and brought both to the sink. I climbed out of my chair, then stood there and watched him for a beat before I decided to just leave. I didn’t really know how to behave around him. Not after our last encounter in my room.
I turned around and as I was about to walk away, strong arms wrapped around my middle, pulling me back into his hard body.
I gasped in surprise as his lips moved down to my ear, taking my earlobe between his teeth. I felt it all the way down to my clit.
“Where do you think you're going?” he asked softly, sensuously.
My eyes fluttered shut when I felt him suck on my earlobe, my chest feeling like it was about to cave in on itself.
“To, uh, the garden.” My voice trembled, especially when I could feel his fingers moving on my belly, up near the bottom of my breast, and lower down once more.
“The garden? What’s so interesting about the garden?” His voice was mild, and if I didn’t know any better, if I couldn’t feel the hard evidence of his desire for me pressed against the small of my back, I would have thought he was unaffected by all this—by me.
“Killian…”
“Answer me, little firecracker.”
“I like the flowers,” I said breathlessly.
“Flowers?” he asked, his voice tinged with amusement.
“Yes. They’re p-pretty— fuck .”
His finger was now drawing soft circles around my nipple, over my dress.
“Pretty, huh?”
I bit my bottom lip and nodded, only I was no longer paying attention to the conversation. What the hell were we talking about again?
He cupped my breast and squeezed it, holding me tightly.
“Fuck, baby, are you even wearing a bra? Panties?”
I made a small sound in the back of my throat, which probably told him the answer because, with a low growl, he turned me around and pushed the straps of the dress down, letting it pool around my feet.
I shivered as his dark eyes took me in from head to toe, licking his lips.
A squeal escaped my lips when he grabbed me by the hips and hoisted me up onto the kitchen island. I winced when my bare bottom touched the cold granite. “Rachel is going to be so mad about this.”
Killian shot me with an amused look. “You plan on telling her, little firecracker?”
I shook my head furiously, eliciting a chuckle from him.
“It’ll be our dirty little secret.”
The way his lips curved around the word “dirty” made me think he meant something other than what we were talking about. I shook my head, folded my arms over my chest, and crossed my legs.
“Uh-uh,” he chastised gently, pulling my arms away. Bending down, he took a nipple into his mouth. His eyes twinkled at me as he suckled on it. I wanted to look away so badly, look away from such an… indecent image, but his eyes held me captive. I swallowed and tried not to react.
He moved his hands down my side—rough, calloused hands imprinting on my skin before he got to my thighs. One large hand wrapped around my right thigh, the other my left thigh, and he pried my legs apart.
I shook my head.
He tightened his grip until I had no choice but to part my legs. His hand cupped me intimately, his finger moving over my slit. I tensed when he began to play with me.
I could come like this, I thought.
And I knew I thought correctly when the first convulsions hit. My eyes rolled back, and I tried to lift my hips, trying to get closer to his touch.
He suddenly stood up to his full height. His eyes seemed to have gotten darker as his gaze ate me up. He placed both hands on my shoulders and pushed down until I was lying on my back on the cold, hard, flat surface.
“Killian?”
I hated the uncertainty in my own voice.
“Fuck, do you know how hard it’s been to resist you since the moment you ran into the hallway?”
If I weren’t feeling so much, too much , I would have found amusement over his statement.
“Spread your legs for me, sweetheart.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Hell.
He pulled one of my legs up, exposing the side of my ass, and spanked me. He spanked me much harder than Maverick or Silas had ever done. I grunted and glared at him. His eyes glinted with vicious glee. “Spread, firecracker. Show me what’s mine.”
“Not yours,” I denied.
He grinned, and I shivered. Even when he smiled, there was something corrupt about it. No wonder I hadn’t been able to trust his easy demeanor this afternoon.
“No?” He started to trace a single finger along my skin. I watched with bated breath as that finger made a slow progression south. My stomach dropped when he got to my navel, circling around it once and moving further down. He pressed his finger down my clit and a whimper escaped me.
“Are you sure this pussy isn’t mine? Why is it drenched for me?”
“Fuck, Killian!”
He let out a small laugh. “Why is your clit swollen, practically begging for my lips? Admit it, firecracker. And if you keep lying to me, I’m going to punish you for it.”
Punish me? How?
As if he could hear my unspoken question, he smirked. “Admit what you and I both know is the truth, or baby, I’m gonna fucking make you come.”
I blinked.
That didn’t sound so bad.
“And I’m not going to fucking stop,” he added.
Fuck. I shook my head, unsure if I wanted that or not. My mind screamed no , but my pussy clenched as more arousal dripped out of me.
I hoped to fucking God Rachel never found out what we’d done in her kitchen.
He took advantage of my momentary distraction and pushed my legs open for him. His hands clutched me, squeezing it a bit before shaking me. I tried to close my legs, but his hands were there.
“Is this mine?” he asked.
That part of me that was keen on self-preservation and knowing what a dangerous predator Killian was wanted to agree to keep my sanity. The other, more stubborn, stupid , prideful part of me didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of winning.
And the stupid part of me was winning. I tilted my head up, my eyes blurred by lust and anger as I stared up at him, and shook my head.
“No.”
The word seemed to resonate loudly inside the kitchen. His smile became savage, almost monster-like, showing a straight row of white teeth gleaming in the sunlight.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said quietly. Before I could come up with a response, he bent down and buried his face in between my legs.
My back arched off the kitchen island, and I grabbed onto the edge, trying to hold on to my bearings.
I was failing.
“Fuck!” I screamed and felt him smile against me as he went back to eating me out. His tongue pushed in and out slightly over my opening, never really entering me, playing with the soft flesh there before I felt him suck it into his mouth. I scrambled up, trying to get away from him when it became too much, but he only grabbed my hips and pulled me back into his waiting mouth, keeping me there for the torture.
“Fuck, Killian, please.”
He chuckled, the sound vibrating all around me. More arousal gushed out, running slowly down between my ass cheeks. My muscles clenched at the sensation.
“There’s no need to beg me, little firecracker. You can come as many times as you want. In fact, I insist on it. It would defeat the whole purpose if you didn’t come.”
I shook my head. I knew what he was trying to do. He was going to torture me with multiple orgasms until my defenses fell away. My toes curled as I tried to keep hold of my tenuous control.
His tongue dipped inside me, taking more of my juices into his mouth, and I closed my eyes. But all that did was heighten my senses.
The first orgasm came with a boom.
I hadn’t even realized I was on the verge of falling over until I did, and then I was free-falling without a parachute.
I reached down, grabbing his wrists, my nails digging into his skin. I fucking hoped I made him bleed, though I wasn’t sure if I was actually hurting him at this point. He didn’t even wince.
Before I could fully come back down, Killian was back to eating me out. He suckled on my too-sensitive clit and I struggled to get away from him.
“No,” I cried.
He grabbed my wrists and held them down near my hips, keeping me immobile. “Yes,” he answered. “Be my good little firecracker and come again for me. I fucking need more of you.”
His lips moved down, his mouth covering me whole, and he let go of my hands, freeing his own hands so they could grab my breasts in a bruising grip. I gasped, and he bit my inner thigh.
The pain was swift and sharp.
I cried out as another orgasm was wrung out of me, and Killian plucked my nipples.
“Fuck, Killian, don?—”
He bit me again in a different spot on the inside of my thigh.
I reached down until my hand found his head, and I tried to push him away as the orgasm flew throughout my body, making me shudder.
He retaliated by biting a new spot.
“Fuck! Why do you keep biting me?”
He answered me with another bite. The pain only worked to prolong the orgasm.
I was crying now. “Please.”
“I’m marking you as mine,” he said, his words barely penetrating through the fog in my mind.
I shook my head.
Another bite.
This time, I didn’t try to protest. Didn’t try to stop him.
He turned his head to my other thigh and sucked the skin into his lips. He was leaving hickeys there. I was sure of it.
One hand let go of my nipple, and I cried out when he pushed two fingers inside me. I wasn’t as sore as I had been the day after Silas and I had sex, but I was still feeling the effects of it, and stretching me out like this didn’t help.
A small sound escaped me when he pumped his finger in and out of me and his lips found a new spot to leave another hickey.
My thighs were going to look like a fucking war zone after this.
I bit my own arm to keep from making another noise. It was a bad idea because his body shook when he laughed. “You think you can keep quiet while I play with you? Is that a challenge, baby?”
I let go of my arm. No, it wasn’t a fucking challenge. Jesus Christ.
“Too late,” he cooed softly, contradicting the brutal movements of the fingers fucking me. They had increased in speed while he spoke. My hips bucked from the sensation, the pleasures becoming more intense. He pulled back slightly to take in the sight of his fingers moving in and out of me, and something about that, about the look in his eyes…
I shook my head.
“Does this feel good, baby?”
I almost answered him right then and there, but that was probably what he wanted, so I stayed silent. He smirked as his fingers curved, hitting just the right spot. I took a deep breath and stiffened, if only to try to keep the explosion at bay for a moment, but it was getting so hard.
So fucking hard.
Then he leaned down and nipped at my clit, and I lost it completely.
I sobbed from the pleasure and pain, and he lapped the distended bud with his tongue, making me feel so fucking lost, I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore.
“Please, Killian,” I begged, my voice thick from my tears.
“Remember, little firecracker. I own you. I own every part of you. This is mine. You’re mine.”
How possessive he sounded, especially for a man who hated me.
He pulled his fingers out and slapped my pussy as I was still trying to come back down from my peak.
I squealed and tried to jerk away, closing my legs when that didn’t help. He tsked at me, making me feel like a naughty child caught with her hand in the cookie jar, just as he pried my legs apart once more with his firm grip and slapped my pussy a second time.
I shook my head.
“Fuck, do you know what it does to me to see your skin red from me?”
“Fuck you,” I gritted out.
He smiled nastily at me and slapped me once more. I groaned.
“Someday soon, baby girl. And you’ll be begging me for it.” His eyes gleamed viciously.
His words evoked the memory of what Maverick had said before. Maverick’s prediction would come true, sooner than later, because I could actually see myself falling for him.
Killian was a different story. He was too fucking volatile for me to ever consider begging him to fuck me. The look in his eyes told me he knew what I was thinking, because he laughed and went back to burying his face between my legs.
“Not again,” I begged. I couldn’t come again. I didn’t want to.
One hand curved around my ass cheek, holding me up as his tongue shifted in between my folds, licking and nipping and sucking in every single inch of my flesh he could come in contact with.
My face scrunched up from the sensation, and he used his other hand to rub harshly over my clit.
“Is this mine, little firecracker?” he asked against me, his hot breath fanning over me.
I closed my eyes, not answering him.
He laughed, swiping his tongue over my slit.
“It tastes like mine,” he said. “Look at my obedient pussy, flooding for me.”
He leaned down and nipped at my clit once more.
I gasped.
He bit a little harder, the hand around my ass moved, and then it was his fingers back inside me. His fingers curved, and he hit the spot over and over. All the while, his teeth held onto my clit, hurting me in the best way possible.
I shook my head.
“So fucking stubborn. Is this mine, baby?”
“Fuck, Killian. Stop!” I shouted when he increased his tempo, the pain of his teeth getting to me.
“Do you want to come?”
Yes. No. Fuck, I did. But I didn’t want to.
Tears streamed down the side of my face.
“Is this mine?” he asked again.
And somewhere inside me, I thought I heard the crumbling of all my defenses. The destruction was so fucking loud, I wondered if he’d heard it too.
“ Yes , Killian. Fuck. Yes!”
“Are you mine?” he asked harshly.
More tears came. “Yes. Yours .”
“Then come for me, baby.”
I snapped. A cry left my lips as the orgasm tore through me, and it felt as if it was breaking me in two.
I closed my eyes, shutting away all the awareness that came with it. Which was why I was so surprised when I suddenly found myself in Killian’s arms. He walked us up the stairs and headed straight for my room.
Pulling back the covers, he lay me down on the bed. I looked up at him, feeling so out of it. I had never been drunk in my life before, but I imagined this was how it must feel.
“I’ll be back,” he said softly.
I made a small noncommittal sound at the back of my throat, and he smiled slightly at that, heading to my bathroom. I could hear the water turn on, and then he was back with a clean cloth in hand. I was too tired to feel embarrassed. I didn’t care anymore, so I didn’t stop him when he spread my legs and gently cleaned me up. I kept my eyes on him the entire time.
Once he was done, he went back to the bathroom, probably to get rid of the cloth. I stared up at the ceiling.
I was right.
I wasn’t the same girl I had been when I left the club that night.
I didn’t think I would ever be able to get her back.
Not anymore.
I heard his light footsteps when he came back out of the bathroom. “I’ll go clean up the mess downstairs,” he said with a small smile.
“Will you…”
One eyebrow raised. “Yes?”
“Will you come back?”
I felt stupid asking him that. But it was his fault that all the walls I had built were destroyed. It was his fault I was feeling so vulnerable right now. The thought nearly made me want to cry.
He didn’t say anything for a beat. I wondered what he was thinking.
“Yes. I’ll be back.”
I didn’t respond. He left, and I didn’t know how long he would be gone. A part of me was convinced he’d lied and he wouldn’t come back. It would be what I deserved for believing in the words of a man like Killian Tiernan.
But then the door to my room opened softly, and my heart perked up. My heart was stupid, but it didn’t care because Killian was back. I heard him walk over to me, then he was pulling the covers back and getting into bed with me. His shirt and jeans were gone, leaving him only in his dark gray boxer briefs. I admired his form momentarily before he pulled the covers over himself. Then he wrapped his arms around my middle and held my naked body close to him, giving me some of his warmth.
It was still only mid-afternoon, but I thought we both needed a nap.
I fell asleep before I could think of another thought.